Hiya, thanks so much for the in depth feedback! The original draft actually had those tables combined, but it felt too confusing... That said I bet with some massaging it could have worked and saved me some space.
Definitely intend to expand in the levels and include more stuff to do them in some kinda future release! (12 page zine sounds about right haha)
I prob didn't make it clear enough - but the deep deep down was actually consumed weeks before the founders' level - it was just covered up as they assumed it was a cave-in or something, and elevators weren't built there yet so nothing "broke" upside. All the cutting ended up mostly erasing that though. Ironic, ha.
Thanks again for your notes! Will def be useful in the next version of this!
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
before i get into the meat of it, just wanted to say that this entry was one of two that my layout designer specifically wanted to call out for being excellent cases to look at while she was figuring out how to do ours. kudos from her! ok now it's my turn to read!
realllly nice writing on the intro page. sets me up perfectly to both get the vibe and want to know more.
sirens are a great horror, and the transformation timeline is scary as heck, nice work!
great legible layout for the map. appreciate the color coding for encounters/loot etc. color choices on the whole, actually, really nice across the board. i wouldn't mind a little more to break up the segments of text, but that's a minor quibble.
really enjoyed this one! plenty of great headfucks baked in, very pretty presentation, probably some of my fave original art of the entire jam. nice work!
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
first thought -- hell yeah, this is the kind of faustian bargain i come to mothership for. so much to sink yr teeth into.
i feel like i'd wanna luxuriate in this setting, like maybe run it not as a one-shot but let it bubble up more slowly. take time getting to know the space, the factions, the npcs, etc. maybe even have the party show up before receiving the job via comms or something. really let them think for a good long while about stepping into the memory machine.
id be curious to read more about successful playtests and how player navigate the setting, how they go about finding barbara.
fantastic concept and great tie-in to the theme on multiple levels! v cool work, enjoyed reading this one!
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
before i get into the doc itself, just mentioning that the product page is great -- my layout designer told me to make sure i pointed this out, as it was one of the ones she looked at when she was working on our product page.
doc itself i have similar praise. laid out excellently, easy on the eyes, easy to find what i'm looking for at a quick glance.
i don't think the kronos tunneler has enough health/wounds. ;) no but for real, love the image of this thing. feels really novel.
the ai broadcast line written on bridge nexus location is fantastic. and in system deviations. i'd read an entire page of these things given the opportunity.
all in all a great interpretation of the theme of the jam. system deviations all feel appropriately different from each other, and still on theme -- really reinforcing the nature of the corrupted beast.
really enjoyed this one -- great work!
found em! apologies in advance for them being pretty scattered/disorganized!
now THAT is how you write a page 1. i'm primed, i have an idea of what is gonna happen, but now i NEED to know how it plays out. one of the best intros i have seen so far
(reading what happens next) oh this is FILTHY work. hahahaha well done.
i like the stat blocks for the worms, very good way to represent some nasty leechy guys
i know room is always at a premium on these things, but id love to know more about petrice!
good lord. the makeshift fort. the sliding worm. these little details are SO GOOD. the mist, too?! you're relentless :D
cool to leave it open-ended, but what do you see as a win- (or, i guess more accurately, survive-) state for this adventure? clip hinch and take his ride? also how do you see including the love triangle into the nightmare?
awesome submission. you use the word "chaos" in here a few times and you are right to. delightfully depraved. absolute madness. great work!
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
i remember early on seeing the name of the module and going "oh neat, daikons" and it was a few hours later i was sitting in bed and did a big "ohhhhhh" when the name clicked. very good!
god the agtech carpet bombing is so delightfully evil, i love it
i like the way it ramps up -- the night events table has some genuinely scary stuff in there to mess w players. and where time is relevant to the sites feels great too. unrelated but "they can't all fit inside the rover" sure hits like a bag of bricks huh. lot loaded into that sentence
death mountain is faaantastic. the terrain destruction. the shark fin. good stuff.
also the art in the project page is so great, lazy lil guy. throw him in the trifold too! :D really enjoyed reading this one!
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
this is some of the cleanest art/layout i have seen yet, great work. from the connecting letters in the title, placement of art pieces, and... my god. that map. spent far longer than i meant to just staring at it. beautiful details. an absolute treat
great characterization of keir delivered very efficiently.
i don't think i've seen any representations of gas giant diving before, so it is really cool to see! just recognizable enough in the "undersea" way, just foreign enough to keep you off-balance.
really cool work here -- super evocative name that everything in writing explores and expands upon.
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
love the race setup, and especially love these MMC dirtbags. and some of the more alien aspects of the ASA were unexpected and v cool (walking in only cardinal directions, e.g.)
the random organism table feels great. and MMC countermeasures escalate well.
the contrast of the natural beauty of the planet and the danger hits real well.
i like the integration table, especially stage 2 -- introduces really cool RP opportunities at the table.
great stuff here! i am a big fan of the "pretty/deadly" vibe, and the barely understandable intelligence of the planet. nice work!
hiya, here are some stray notes i wrote while reading this!
"finally, an easy job" hahaha you love to see it. surely this won't go sideways! oop that didn't take long
loving these crew names. also the art is lovely, love the octopode. "aw he seems nice" i say before i read any of the accompanying text
the timeline is great, this plays out a lot like many of my fave cyberpunk-type adventures where every step forward is accompanied by 100 steps of walking-backwards-into-hell
yeah i knew that octopode wouldn't play nice. dang that's a scary guy
the competing motivations of the foxes are such a great playground for messing around. feel like there's enough here to, once you've internalized it, react to player intervention swiftly and true-to-character
great stuff!
hiya here are some notes i took while reading this one!
first impression i am immediately in love with the art here. particularly the two riders on the front panel.
ooh hell yeah... that's how you write a last sentence in a summary (off to the races section). i was following the story so far and that last bit hit me like a... well it hit me like rufus and amelia hit that curve, lemme tell ya. no joke, when i was a kid i had a nightmare i was playing mario kart and my ghost data could bump me off the track. haven't thought about that in a while!!
"sleeping with the stars, outside an airlock, with aluminum shoes" THIS IS SO GREAT. A++ space mafia one-liner, no notes
i love the whole setup leading up to the big race, and the twist once you're in there is satisfying and thrilling.
because i am corny i would not be able to resist at some point having an NPC say "in the language spoken on G'Sliiiit, they call him... the lamborghini diablo." i already regret writing that out loud
would be cool to add "effects" to the types of bumps the devil does! like a tail bump makes speed easier but int harder, etc.
really enjoyed this read! your sense of humour is great on both this and it talks, im now looking forward to an entire suite of G'sliiit madness to read :)
hiya, looking thru ones i've already reviewed and noticed i must have forgotten to put my notes on this one! here's a super compressed version of those notes from memory--
paradise park had some of the best laughs for me throughout, dark as heck but uproarious. even a couple of days later i'm still thinking about the makeshift fort. i remember having questions about hinch and the "win" (survive?) state, but i forget what they were.
one of my faves i've read! lmk if you want more detailed notes, i know i saved them somewhere on my pc or phone. (i will be amalgamating them all once i am done reviewing)
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading!
when i read the original hackers pamphlet for mothership-- or i guess more accurately, started to read it-- i bounced off pretty quick, never been too much of a fan of hacking in ttrpgs... figured, leave it to someone more into it. conversely, reading yours, i immediately got the cat and mouse (sorry, another cat) of it all. compelling, high-stakes, easy to wrap your head around. when the rest of the party is just waiting for an alternate reality scene to play out, i want them to be having fun too, and this is visual enough that i could picture the other players cheering and groaning as the results play out!
rotten rico is just so fun to say. rotten rico.
lemme tell ya i decided to roll one out as i read to understand it better, and the string of crit failures i started with sure made it annoying haha. i just started making up successes. like a REAL GM
love it. you've finally sold me on in-game hacking (haxxing?). fantastic work. praisies NOT subject to changies.
i might be in the minority here, but i wouldn't add a definitive pass/fail, personally! i like the idea that there's no way to tell what to do. imagine one player "passing," telling the others how they passed, another trying the same thing and failing... or imagine giving what feels like perfect answers only to fail because it didn't pass the android's vibe check. i think leaving it open-ended encourages wardens to lean into the vibe of paranoia you're creating.
that said i may very well be in the minority--and if you WERE to add pass/fails, freaks like me could ignore them and go full paranoia demon anyway :D
hiya, reading this now - here are some notes i took!
i LOVE this apple ][ (or i guess Macintosh?) aesthetic. the setting even feels like it'd be something i'd play on that old machine in my uncle's office. presentation is glorious, portraits are great, map art is great, dithering on the title screen is great, the Chicago (or Chicago-like?) font a perfect touch.
THE FREAKING DOLPHIN TALKS <3 i remember the first time i read this, i read it out of order, saw the dolphin tranq gun, and thought "why would i ever want to hurt the dolphin?" and then laughing very hard when i realized why. "YOU BIPEDS ARE SHIT."
the "never meet your heroes" aspect of the crew is great, if i were running it i think i'd try to pepper in stories of their fame during other adventures before ever meeting them :)
great work. this put a big smile on my face. briefly scanned the previous comments and saw that you mentioned english is your second language -- just wanted to stress that while there are a couple of little issues here or there, the intent was clear everywhere and the sense of humour shone through!
hiya, reading this now, here are some stray notes!
excellent descriptions as i am going through. forgotten hospitality droids in particular jumped out at me as very evocative.
the coolant itself being a primary antagonist is really clever, and i love how you've made it more deadly as they get deeper.
i don't have a lot of experience with depthcrawls, so i appreciate how easy to parse and imagine this is!
among the top ones i've read so far re: theme. doesn't get much more beneath the surface than this! knocked it out of the park on the name of the module as well.
really cool stuff here! i'm most struck by the writing in here, thoughtful and confident. nice work! really enjoyed this.
Hiya, took some stray notes as I was reading, these are those notes!
When I got to the squirrels vs bears part I said out loud "oh no it's roblox from hell!" (i know almost nothing about roblox aside from the fact that kids can make their own games and they are enormously popular. so it is probably nothing like roblox. but i thought it was funny)
The combo of the shared hallucination + using the party's highest stress on dream rolls is a great way to reinforce narrative in gameplay. Love to see it
The way you've presented the real/unreal in tandem is really funny (in the good way). example i am thinking of here is room 4 -- black text, drooling people, red text, the most beautiful thing ever. got a chuckle outta me. also "a squirrel watches on solemnly."
How do you envision the players talking down Agent X? It'd be neat to see a little more on them, their motivations, fears, something to leverage.
Stray thought, but after reading "Mines" in several of the modules, I had to readjust my brain every time I read MNEs, haha.
Cool stuff here! I could see it getting expanded into a bigger world, with more areas with more "games" and more tie-ins to the traumatic events of the society's past.
(also unrelated but I love the two snakes logo!)
Hiya! Reading this now, here are some scattered notes i took!
daily questionnaire from bentley already has me on edge. wasn't expecting a dose of corporate horror, love it!
I LOVE the idea of handing cards to everyone saying "this says who is the Doppel" and nobody actually is one. The mind reels at how much of a headfuck this would be. ditto the "one on one interviews" in another room.
What do you envision for a party that manages to get out of here but brings a Doppel with them?
Really like the two skeletons event, good foreshadowing. Would love to see you expand on the other ones.
V cool stuff! The vibes are on point, great interpretation of the theme, and bursting with PC-on-PC paranoia.
Hiya! took some notes while reading this, here they are!
Big fan of generational ship stuff, this is a great thing to have in the back pocket. Decided to roll one out as I read, nice to have something I can "play" as i do these readthroughs!
My dice love cults today... Extremely minor note -- would love numbers next to the modules so I don't have to count, haha. Lost Learning a few times :)
Already imagining doing cool stuff like treating each of these rolls as a one-shot, and players are generational clones of themselves in each one-shot. (so I guess if someone dies, they're "back" in 30 years.)
Some of these horrors could house entire future campaigns within them. If you were to expand on those in future releases, I'd be paying attention! Very cool stuff :)
Hiya, took some notes while reading this, disorganizedly presented here!
don't see a lot of pamphlets eschew writing on their covers, but i think the art and the tagline speak volumes--bold and effective. nice work to artist (for the beautiful piece) and writer (for their restraint!)
presentation is all around very slick. not just in a "wow this is pretty" way -- the way you've chosen to lay out the information is cogent, legible, complete and sinewy. that is not easy!
feels like it bucks the trend of low-information crawls, instead creating a tense resource-management mission. the kind of thing that would be really good to run after one (or more) of the former, to keep players on their toes.
several pamphlets have interpreted the theme as undersea adventures, but (of the ones i've read so far) i think this and one other are the ones that are most "about" the theme, if that makes sense. like the depth is vital to the storytelling. the bends, the cave, mother herself -- all interface w/ the theme beautifully.
this is an excellent work -- confident, unexpected, tight. hell yeah!
hiya! here are some of the very disorganized notes i took while reading this :)
ooh this is a diabolical idea. knew there was a loop going in, but didn't expect THAT to be the reason. i'm already imagining ways to play up shane as a slimeball.
i'd love to see some examples of how you envision the horror adapting based on certain fears--some ideas i can already picture (i.e. PCs barely survived ABH? horror looks like a carc) but did you have other things in mind as well?
this is inspiring me to riff on it, like, you know what room i would want to see in the studio? an editing bay, where the player sees dozens of tvs showing dozens of different interviews starring themselves (or for a real headfuck, some person who looks almost like them, making it clear that THEY are the "replacement" actor)
it's favourably reminding me of a certain japanese video game that came out in 2017 (i'm not even mentioning the name of that game because just comparing the two would be spoilers) -- if you know, you know :) loved that game! love that i am getting that game's vibes here.
appreciate the very clean map, easy to mentally navigate for those like me who often struggle with maps in these things.
this is real fun! i imagine i'd have to do a bit to adapt it for our table but i bet i'd get some good reactions from my players.
Hiya, here are the notes i took while reading this pamphlet!
oh my GOD you're making the PCs serve papers. already laughing then i'm seeing "worms: yes. worms: yes. worms: yes."
i really like the inclusion of the info on some "high-value" patients/potential victims -- plenty of hooks to carry forward in a campaign if any of them are saved (and the PCs aren't wormbags)
i often have a hard time tracking lots of moving parts on a map over time, but the sort of factory line style movement of patients through the process makes it a lot easier to wrap my head around here.
i like the acid/base weakness for the worms, it'd be cool to bake in some more clues about this weakness into some of the rooms (maybe the aquarium worms are dead and there's a bottle of... uhh... aquarium deacidifier nearby? i don't know much about how to write clues. or aquariums for that matter.) (also i might have missed a clue somewhere tbf)
...just got the "right as rain" thing. HAH
wicked sense of humour, novel setting, worms: yes. great work! really makes me want to house a bottle of maalox.
Hiya! Reading this through now, taking some notes... here are those notes!
First thought is, what a great name for a module... i have to imagine you did one of those lean back in the chair moments when you came up with it
Oof the marketing-talk in the opener is making my... skin crawl (truly can't come up with a better term haha). Great work, from "skin deep" to "stalwart appliance," just vile haha. great stuff
oh wow we are NOT PULLING PUNCHES on the truth of dupliskin. damn. REAMS!! you are really picking some nasty words. hell yeah
the clock raises the stakes in a very satisfying way. room descriptions very evocative, i would hate being in this place even if there were no skin ghoul related shenanigans.
great body horror! not usually my subgenre but i like the way you presented this, kind of centered around the foul corporate sheen masking some real nasty business.
Thank you so much for your kind words! You and the others are really selling me on this whole "expanding the setting" thing. I definitely left a lot on the cutting room floor (some of which I have mentioned in previous replies) that I think would make for for some fun twists, and I'd love to expand on those NPC hooks similar to what they did with APOF (while continuing to focus on the "regular people" to differentiate it from APOF). When I run it, it will probably be immediately after a particularly gnarly 3PP module (VR Dead), so I think my "hook" is going to be the medical centre focusing on treating the specific trauma experienced by the crew on that mission. Assuming we even survive it. :)
Howdy, giving this a read now -- my (v unorganized) notes below!
the description of these sculptures is really well done -- describing something that i CAN imagine but have certainly never seen -- and narrating how one would find it moving.
lol, vix. love how immediately they are going to become a liability here.
camilla's personification is great. i am already imagining a voice in my head.
the timeline is REALLY remarkable. like everything working like clockwork, things happening in parallel, plenty to give players as the situation escalates. and maintains excellent tone for each of these (exhausting and/or terrifying) party guests.
GREAT interpretation of the theme -- unexpected and v satisfying once it "clicked".
diabolically funny and thrilling. this is really great stuff!! definitely on my list of ones i want to run!
Hiya! here are the notes i took as i read this one!
oh baby look at all this GREAT ART. cover piece, items, caretaker, core, map all looking fantastic.
WOW we're really doing real-time on this one! this is crazy. such a cool idea. i'm sweating even thinking about it.
VERY stray thought here, but this is making me think it would be cool to introduce one of those chess timer things into a scenario like this. players hit it when they're waiting for warden input. wardens hit it when they're waiting for player input. that is completely unrelated, but how could would that be? (disclaimer: i have never used one of these and only have a vague idea of how they work) anyway, back to the actual pamphlet!
oh boy. this timer tool is GREAT. i feel like you should make it clear in the text that it is not just a link to some timer website, this is a thing you built specifically for THIS. (i only opened it because i visited the project page and saw the link - i prob wasn't gonna scan the QR unless it was clear it was a Companion Piece)
the name completely tricked me-- i was expecting something more straightforward and instead got taken on a ride. to be clear this is an unqualified compliment! i love it.
areas of interest are bursting with interesting ideas that fit the theme beautifully.
only potential fear for me is a party split might make time tracking painful, but honestly, i'd work around it to run this. its so good.
really cool work here, hit me out of nowhere, and got my brain running on overdrive. fantastic!
Hiya! Here are some stray thoughts I wrote down while reading this!
immediately in love with the visuals for this creature. black ooze with white specks. predator in its natural habitat. very cool.
oh lord this thing is gonna have a BODY COUNT. very strong (but thoughtful weaknesses balance it out)
map feels good, i wouldn't have minded some numbering in addition to the indicators just to have something easy to distibute to players (we usually do this at our table by taking and carefully cropping a photo and sending it to the group chat -- this is a minor gripe tho, easy enough to add numbers after taking the photo)
i like the intruder red herring, and the luring a player outside for a snack.
could easily see how the drama and horror would escalate here! nice work!
Hiya! Some stray thoughts i wrote while reading this one below!
Before even opening it, the name... nothing strikes fear in my heart like having to consider mathematics in >3 dimensions, so i'm already scared
first thing i notice -- trying to fly away brings you back to it. even when you're outside it, you're inside it. good stuff. impossible geometry indeed!!
I like that the horror loses proficiency as you plug away at it.
"no breathable oxygen, but not a vacuum" has me wondering what IS the atmosphere in here. cool. (not asking for an answer! i just like that it's making me ask the question)
hahahaha oh my god all my nightmares come true as i flip to the map! we have left the third dimension. this is very, very cool. if i'm reading this right, the fewest moves back to a room i am currently in is... 6? which means even if i am wandering around confused, the odds of me accidentally backtracking are low (and might actually require, like, my understanding of the layout/backtracking on purpose). very cool implementation. and that also lines up with the introducing of the horror after 3-6 rooms to keep players on their back foot.
layout here is wonderful work. you've made a very easy reference for wardens to determine what players see.
feel like i am gonna be thinking about this one for a while! nice work!
Hiya! Here are some stray thoughts I wrote down while reading this one.
immediately love the aesthetic. one of the few video games in my house as a kid was harpoon for the atari, which was too complicated for my little kid brain, but i loved the whole submarine vibe and for some reason this unlocked that memory for me, haha.
great flow to this pamphlet. my eye is immediately drawn on the course it needs to go, easy to follow.*
"look[s] like the ribs of a dead metal beast" -- liked this. nice flairs of flavour in here. listening to godspeed you black emperor as i write this, feels like it'd be a song title of theirs.
extremely minor, but, something about the morse on RIG-558 panel makes it look like SMS (two dashes vs three on the O's) -- could be a font problem? or could just be the reader i am using tbh
speaking of morse, love the bonus message :D
good lord the snitchdroid is walking the plank the first chance i get if i am playing this scenario
i LOVE how you've prepared the pre-freighter tasks to familiarize the players with the vessel and its inhabitants in section 1. feel like i have to improv this kind of stuff often, great to see it there on the page. doubles to mount dread and make the players "part" of the ship. great stuff
ugh the drowned are nasty business. love it
great stuff, loved reading this through. reminds me how much i never want to go on a submarine. at least not in real life. in mothership, i'm into it. great work!
*checking my notes for errors and realized i rote "flow" and "on course" here. i assure you zero seafaring-vessel puns were intended
Hiya, took some notes while reading, here they are! (in a very random order, apologies for jumping all over the place)
Including something like the asteroid tracker is something I wish I had done with mine, and the space is used very economically, nice touch.
Warden's notes are insightful and tactically chosen to make understanding this pamphlet quick and easy! Nice work
(worth noting that i had 2 or 3 questions about things that i didn't understand written here, all of which were answered by continuing to read the pamphlet, so i deleted them all. i hope this reads like the compliment i intend it to be!)
i have chosen to imagine that brennan's surname being "yolk" with some extra letters was on purpose given the "egg" haha. wait... brennan... iyengar... i see you, lone archivist! :)
i think this is an excellent mothership curveball, starting ostensibly with one win state (explode/divert) leading to a more satisfying one (engaging egg). im always a sucker for "or option c, let's talk it out" modules
very cool stuff!
Hiya, here are some notes i took while reading this one!
I love the presentation of "We" -- wonderfully alien in design while still being legible. The compel and corrupt actions nail the horror just right for me.
the radiation weakness is really cool, and it makes me imagine a cool/scary/tragic result where players purposely irradiate themselves to beat the fungus. maybe the "bravely marching into radiation" is too top of mind because i rewatched chernobyl recently, haha.
the telegraphing of the weakness that comes from contaminated characters getting radiation is great touch!
cool stuff here!
Hiya, here are some notes i took while reading this one!
Colors look great here. those pops of orange on side b! gorgeous.
i found this very easy to follow -- the conflict is immediately apparent, the threat is well-defined (in ability, motivation, and reactiveness), the space is well-illustrated (both literally and... literarily? pictures and text you know what i mean haha)
I wouldn't think to do a vampire in mothership but I think you've done a great job of presenting one in a way that feels JUST unfamiliar enough for it to work! good stuff!
Hiya, thanks for the in-depth feedback!
reading it back cold now, I definitely see what you're saying about the cover/truth overlap. they were written pretty far apart from one another in production, and considering how space is at a premium, I could've helped myself with an edit there! Stat blocks could have been good use, I also would have loved to get into those NPCs a little more with the extra space. Or even just more "illustrative" notes for wardens on the levels, as I've seen in other modules here -- sounds, smells, sights were not at the forefront of my mind when I was writing. Re the text on blue -- I could definitely see that, I'll pass it on to my layout teammate for if/when we do a second draft!
Thanks again, this is all great (& actionable) feedback! Cheers!
WOW, thank you so much for the kind words! Given the quality of work I've seen on display during this jam, I would have been satisfied to even have been told this is good enough to be IN the jam, haha :)
If you do run this please do let me know how it goes! As far as motivations for players to stay are concerned, I completely agree -- there were some late-ish cuts that might have given motivation (initially I had the planet attempting to communicate, initially through some kind of Contact-esque prime number communication, and through Braille after swallowing the library) but the space limitations made me streamline that out (not to mention I couldn't get past ripping off a Jodie Foster movie from 1997, haha). Only little vestigial parts remain, like the library itself, and the sophontologist NPC.
I think when I run it, I'm going to do something similar and make it a 2+ session game with some shore leave/downtime scenes to explore and establish the space, and depending on how the players survive the scenario, a post-"filled" scenario where they have to survive at Hydro or Dig B.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments, I'm (very) slowly working my way thru the submissions and hope to get to yours soon!
Thanks for the comments here! I'm glad you like it so much! definitely feeling you on the NPC table, it drew the short straw when we ended up having to shuffle some things around, and in retrospect it's far too important to be a footnote :) very happy to hear it sounds easy to run, that was one of my big concerns!
Hiya, thanks for your thoughtful feedback! I'm thinking I might have left some old timelines (or ambiguities) in the text -- for example the shops wouldn't get boarded up until all previous layers are consumed, and each layer takes six hours -- so shops aren't until hour 36 or so. (i am now also realizing i've switched the names on a couple of the levels between my two tables, making it even worse, oops). agreed that they could have been merged into one table, this could have bought me more room for my NPCs (something I sorely needed haha)!
If I were doing a redo, more details on the levels would definitely be high on my list (along with more love for NPCs). I'm already eyeing that "how'd you get here" section, asking it... well... how'd YOU get here? :)
thanks again for the feedback!
Hi there, here are some notes I took while reading! Presented in the order I thought em
The presentation here is real nice -- the coffee stains, "doodles" in pencil, adds flavour without detracting from the text.
The writing feels really polished. Like it really feels like you did a couple of rounds of editing - all of the info is here with no flabby extra bits. This is v appreciated!
The acid is a great spoil to get parties with ships licking their lips.
"capture has so far been fruitless" hahahaha very good
All of the xeno(flora|fauna) feels very appropriate for this setting, and sets itself apart from other mothership stuff i have read so far! very hell-in-the-jungle
Any scenario where I can roll a 4 and give my players poop is a winner in my book.
Earthquakes exposing big old centipede legs is the worst, i hate it, excellent work. :)
I haven't delved too deep on ship stuff so I can't really comment on the megafauna's "crunch" but from a "fluff" perspective I really like what you've done with it. nasty and tragic. how dare you make me feel bad for a big bug
Hiya, here are some notes I took while reading this trifold! (presented in the order I thought em)
First thing is that cover art. My god it's beautiful. Made me immediately go "oh ok I need to know what the story is with this bad boy."
The landing sequence immediately presents a recognizable threat to the PCs, which I appreciate. (not to mention the names of the anomaly & areas!)
Saw astroid (vs asteroid) a few times -- intended? (i'm not dinging anyone for typos in my ratings, anyway. just pointing em out for future versions where I can)
I think I mentioned this on the discord, but the reality check table is so good that I could see myself recycling it in other sanity-testing adventures.
I'm not a Secret Agenda Guy so I would likely either be choosing one as the employer or having the party see them all on the job board and pick themselves. Again not a ding just a stray thought
Gorgon's Head encounter is SO COOL. the tells/cancels/results is such a great mechanic. For the combat stat, would it be rolling this on e.g. when it throws players against the ground? or is that automatic?
Taking my time getting to the inside because it is DENSE. There's so much stuff here!
I think this is a me problem, but I am having trouble wrapping my head around the dive mechanic -- let's say we decide to start by entering medusa. I roll 3 on the d5, for entering at 1, does that mean we start at petrified forest? or are we in at antechamber but the 4 is instead the event (aftermath of encounter which i guess i am rolling now)?
As confused as I sound, that's just easy enough to confirm here and figure out. The important part is that I am imagining some of these moments in these spaces with these encounters and they seem AWESOME.
Ok, realizing I am writing an entire essay here, gotta stop soon. You made something special here, just a cornucopia of brain-twisting moments with a clear goal at the end. I'd run this! Fantastic work!
