This is an incredible module for me, full-stop. It's got a deceptively cohesive and well-considered visual style, with excellent discipline on colour coding, economy of language, and delivery on information. Reading through I felt intrigued rather than confused, as information was revealed at a steady pace with a good sense of priorities. Based on how it's unfolded, I have a sense of how I should reveal info to players as well - very natural and intuitive.

Monster statlines are great and also well-considered, I fucking LOVE that Tsubaraya gets SBT ship stats, and the basic idea of "stomach empty > waking up to hunt" is a really concise source of tension. Of COURSE the Company wants to extract it all, it's so useful. Players might even agree since you've got the mechanics for using the fuel!

Rolling in warden advice on campaign play, one-shots, etc. is excellent. Wherever there are blank spots, they feel considered and open-ended rather than potential pitfalls. Social elements like stuff to buy, factions, etc. is all really focused on the important bits and I feel super comfortable filling in the rest.

Only thing I'm curious about is what would drive someone to wear the grit mite gloves. They seem like so obviously a disaster waiting to happen! Some bigger upside like increased durability or "the mites swarm in the direction of the nearest acid deposit" would help me convince a PC to fuck around and buy a pair.

Verdict: 5/5 from me, sick as fuck, well done. I want a print copy.

First, congrats you made something hella cool! love the vibes, and the overall polish is on point!

I think others have hit on a lot of good points as to where this modules shines and where it could use some work, but my one bit of added advice is to look at things in terms of what Justin Alexander calls “the vectors of play” what ways are you helping the PCs engage with the world/adventure, what obstacles can you put in their path to keep them from just hopping back on their ship and GTFO… I think you have a grade A setting guide, with some interesting adventure ideas. This keeps things from being easily usable but it is GREAT when it comes to giving ideas for things to do with the world.

All that said, you made something cool, be proud! hope ya do well in the comp!

Hi there, here are some notes I took while reading! Presented in the order I thought em

The presentation here is real nice -- the coffee stains, "doodles" in pencil, adds flavour without detracting from the text.

The writing feels really polished. Like it really feels like you did a couple of rounds of editing - all of the info is here with no flabby extra bits. This is v appreciated!

The acid is a great spoil to get parties with ships licking their lips. 

"capture has so far been fruitless" hahahaha very good

All of the xeno(flora|fauna) feels very appropriate for this setting, and sets itself apart from other mothership stuff i have read so far! very hell-in-the-jungle

Any scenario where I can roll a 4 and give my players poop is a winner in my book.

Earthquakes exposing big old centipede legs is the worst, i hate it, excellent work. :)

I haven't delved too deep on ship stuff so I can't really comment on the megafauna's "crunch" but from a "fluff" perspective I really like what you've done with it. nasty and tragic. how dare you make me feel bad for a big bug

I think this is an intriguing idea that deserves more development. I feel that its weaknesses can be boiled down to "not enough content." I can tell there is a very clear vision in mind and there are stories galore in the creator's mind. but I need to see more of that vision before I can really use it in my games.

The overall concept of a planet-sized Kaiju and harvesting the stomach acid which serves as fuel is inspired! I'd love to see what the colony spike looks like, or how large it is, a rough silhouette, something that I can anchor my game to and really feel the setting. 

I suggest approaching the first paragraph again. Distill the details into their most juicy, descriptive components that clearly explain what I'm looking at. For instance, "a lush mono-climate of prehistoric megafauna" doesn't tell me that this is a planet-sized kaiju capable of providing a stable atmosphere while it travels through space, and seems to have been mistaken for an actual planet by the corporation, who stabbed a giant colony structure into this creature. I was able to piece this together by reading the rest of the module, but I think that can land much more quickly and inspiringly if it's rewritten.

The visual design of is delightful, and it makes me want to read it, but it took me a while to understand the setting.

Last thought, I want the setting to have some NEEDS. Will Alonsus Blake hire the crew to sabotage the acid harvesting operation? Has Bakari Malik heard threats from other druids that have become overly zealous? If shit starts to hit the fan, is Carter Jones more likely to go down with the ship or panic and escape as quickly as possible, stranding everyone?

Again, very intrigued by the setting, but I think there needs to be MOAR to really incorporate it.

There are a lot of creative ideas here, but I think usability is the weak point. Some things aren't well explained and the overall pamphlet doesn't quite make it clear whether it's an adventure or a setting. If you intend to keep working on this after the jam, I'd suggest maybe focus the trifold on the setting, and make a zine for the adventures to go with it. I feel like exploring the world, discovering its secret, and escaping the awakening are each worth at least a full session, and that's too much to approach with a single trifold.

The general look and design is good. Simple, but aesthetically pleasing and easy to navigate. The writing is more of an issue, often a bit unclear and seemingly off-the-cuff.

The most confusing part is T.O.M.B.S.  Is each item there supposed to be a possible adventure hook? Or is it a sequence of events? If it's a sequence, how does it relate to the Apocalypse Clock below? Are they two different timelines that the Warden is meant to choose between?

The mites are a bit confusing. You say they're smaller than a speck of dust but that they grow rapidly off-world. Are the stats for the bigger version? Or for a swarm of them? If it's for a single speck-sized bug, maybe some explanation of why it's so harmful might be in order, because I can't imagine something that tiny causing potentially lethal amounts of damage in a few minutes just from burrowing into the skin. Overall, I'm not sure combat stats are the right way to handle that small a creature anyway, might just want it to be e.g. a Speed check to swat it, otherwise you get bitten.

Likewise the Pungee Pool isn't quite clear. The creature is just the vines? Are the stalagmites part of the plant itself, like thorns, or are they mineral structures it somehow induces to form?

Anyway, I like the idea and many of the details, like the spike colonies and the planet's whistling breath. Just needs to be tightened up and fleshed out a bit. A cutaway map of the Bottleneck's levels would be a great addition.

If i had a picture of the kaiju itself id give a 5/5. Loved it.