itch.io

Art: The art direction here reminds me of so many sci-fi brothels it immediately engages me.

Writing: I feel like I've only seen one other Mothership product breaching this subject, and I gotta give you props not just for going for it, but being respectful while still keeping it aware of how horrific it can get. Really glad you kept consent at the front but still acknowledge that coercion is not impossible.

Game Design: The map & icon design is a lil difficult until I get to the bottom bar where the icons are. The legend could be in a more visible place, but that's just my 2 cents. Otherwise, it's concise and I can still work really well with it.

Theme: While this doesn't utilize myths in the traditional sense, it does give me strong vibes of Circe's island, especially how the guests can be stopped from leaving by pleasure or power. Art imitating life and vice versa as it were. 

Layout: The layout here focuses more on information delivery than presenting the vibes of the place described. 

Utility: This feels ready to go for either Shore Leave or a module. I would need a couple read throughs, but not a whole lot of work Warden side! 

Favorability: I enjoy modules that broach this area of pleasure/vulnerability, and in the past I have seen this area done badly. This is one of the best ones I've seen in a while, and the extras included supplement everything included beautifully.

This is good shit, and I think a worthy inclusion in the Triptech jams! 

Art: See I love when art evokes the diegetic feeling of 0e. I feel like these drawings exist in the universe, and they're qualitative enough that I can construct a mental image of the real people they depict.

Writing: While there's humor here, there's also a through line of the sublime in a way that, with prep, could really make the horror pop. I enjoy the commentary by Dr. Fuchs, but it could be a bit more actionable in terms of information delivery.

Game Design: The balance here is maybe a bit too balanced, if that makes sense. There's not a whole lot of room for actionable/usable volatility that the Warden can take advantage of player side.

Theme: Pyramids are a classic ancient myth staple. As are the monsters, the eccentric doctor, engineers, and (possibly) expendable crew. I think you hit the nail on the head, and I like where your head's at with this.

Layout: This unfortunately is where I get lost. I see the vision, but the current layout is super super busy. The text is really hard to parse, but honestly has easy fixes, like low opacity rounded rectangular boxes would help. The passion and  ambition here is heartening, it just needs polish.

Utility: Setting everything else aside, if the information here was all I had, I could run this with a couple hours prep. I will say this category intersects with layout in terms of me needing to be able to read everything, but aside from that, this is good to use.

Favorability: I like how discovery centered this trifold is, and I am reminded of the vibes of Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Indiana Jones, and National Treasure. I unno, it just hits a spot, and the panic engine serves it well.

Overall I would love to see the post jam polish! With a little polish on this, I hope to see it more and more, and I can't wait to see more of your work.

Art: See I love when art evokes the diegetic feeling of 0e. I feel like these drawings exist in the universe, and they're qualitative enough that I can construct a mental image of the real people they depict.

Writing: While there's humor here, there's also a through line of the sublime in a way that, with prep, could really make the horror pop. I enjoy the commentary by Dr. Fuchs, but it could be a bit more actionable in terms of information delivery.

Game Design: The balance here is maybe a bit too balanced, if that makes sense. There's not a whole lot of room for actionable/usable volatility that the Warden can take advantage of player side.

Theme: Pyramids are a classic ancient myth staple. As are the monsters, the eccentric doctor, engineers, and (possibly) expendable crew. I think you hit the nail on the head, and I like where your head's at with this.

Layout: This unfortunately is where I get lost. I see the vision, but the current layout is super super busy. The text is really hard to parse, but honestly has easy fixes, like low opacity rounded rectangular boxes would help. The passion and  ambition here is heartening, it just needs polish.

Utility: Setting everything else aside, if the information here was all I had, I could run this with a couple hours prep. I will say this category intersects with layout in terms of me needing to be able to read everything, but aside from that, this is good to use.

Favorability: I like how discovery centered this trifold is, and I am reminded of the vibes of Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Indiana Jones, and National Treasure. I unno, it just hits a spot, and the panic engine serves it well.

Overall I would love to see the post jam polish! With a little polish on this, I hope to see it more and more, and I can't wait to see more of your work.

Art: See I love when art evokes the diegetic feeling of 0e. I feel like these drawings exist in the universe, and they're qualitative enough that I can construct a mental image of the real people they depict.

Writing: While there's humor here, there's also a through line of the sublime in a way that, with prep, could really make the horror pop. I enjoy the commentary by Dr. Fuchs, but it could be a bit more actionable in terms of information delivery.

Game Design: The balance here is maybe a bit too balanced, if that makes sense. There's not a whole lot of room for actionable/usable volatility that the Warden can take advantage of player side.

Theme: Pyramids are a classic ancient myth staple. As are the monsters, the eccentric doctor, engineers, and (possibly) expendable crew. I think you hit the nail on the head, and I like where your head's at with this.

Layout: This unfortunately is where I get lost. I see the vision, but the current layout is super super busy. The text is really hard to parse, but honestly has easy fixes, like low opacity rounded rectangular boxes would help. The passion and  ambition here is heartening, it just needs polish.

Utility: Setting everything else aside, if the information here was all I had, I could run this with a couple hours prep. I will say this category intersects with layout in terms of me needing to be able to read everything, but aside from that, this is good to use.

Favorability: I like how discovery centered this trifold is, and I am reminded of the vibes of Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Indiana Jones, and National Treasure. I unno, it just hits a spot, and the panic engine serves it well.

Overall I would love to see the post jam polish! With a little polish on this, I hope to see it more and more, and I can't wait to see more of your work.

While the Work In Progress is mostly lorem Ipsum, what you do have here is evocative and gives a really good ludonarrative connective tissue. And please please build on that, it's very very good and evokes a sense of sorrow and vengeance out of grief. I really wanna see the end result of this!

Art: I will say this art style evokes a sort of Ozymandias "Look upon my works ye mighty and despair. Nothing beside remains" feeling, which is exactly what I would want from an Ancient Myths trifold. 

Writing: I'm guessing this was meant as a toolbox from the spartan writing. Lots of consideration for how much space you had without shotgunning it on the page. The instructions are concise and easy to understand, and I'll more than likely be using this in the future.

Game Design: As a dungeon maker? Really convenient, plenty of roll table curiosity. Easy to work off of one the fly.

Theme: For the theme, I do have to give points for integrating classical dungeon vibes into the dungeon maker, and the roll tables (love the list of inspirations)

Layout: While I do enjoy the two sides of the trifold separately, it does flow into each other a little choppy. Like one sort of setting suggestion and one toolbox for dungeons, leaving it as a sort of starter for the flame. If that was the intention, mission accomplished. If it wasn't, there might need to be more connective tissue between setting to utility.

Utility: As a toolbox this is insanely good for pickup and run. As something to generate lore? It's a good start, and good for initial thrust, which feels like the intention

Favorability:I'll say it: this grabbed me immediately. Even though it's labeled for Mothership 1e, this feels like WBR level utility.

Overall this entry is sick as fuck, and the only real critique I have amounts to minor polish on an already great trifold. I will be putting this in the proverbial Warden utility belt as an Ol' Reliable.

Some quick answers for your questions

1. What I intended by "A tragedy witnessed through Unconfirmed Contact Reports" was to tell the silhouette of a story of the Watchtower's societal death through peeks. The way I interpreted UCRs was similar to capturing a blurry photo of aliens/cryptids/what have you, and enough of them put in the right order with a little context framing would tell enough of a story to use in other campaigns or modules.

2. The Cassette Cache puzzles are intended to be common geocaching puzzles, like physical puzzles to assemble and solve. In use/play, the cassette caches are meant to be looks inside the greater culture of the station through mixtapes and/or playlists assembled by any person on the station.

3. The Astronav Cartography Feed is a space version of The Weather Channel and an airport's departures/arrivals list. Reports are aggregated, and the feed shows stuff like likelihood of meteor showers, solar storms, and occasionally, patterns of issues with incoming ships. If you want to signal an imminent threat or have subtle signs that something is amiss, you can use the ACF to bring it to a common point.

4. The Fort Lot is more like an empty lot with supplies kids take there to make forts and such. It's less a play place and more an empty slot for a store occupied and repurposed by children.

I greatly appreciate your comments and critique, as this is the first time I've tried something this experimental, I'll keep them in mind moving forward!

Thank you for this constructive criticism, this is absolutely helpful for my future projects. I will say the K-Cells were admittedly undercooked, as it's an idea I'm still working on, but I will take your advice on the carc-like phases!

Polish:4/5

Read through the whole thing, concise and succinct on each section. On first glance some things aren't super clear, like whether any on the tables is on the "Approved List" but it can quickly assumed that it's not on here and is simply a part of the narrative being told through everything else. The images used are clean, and the maps for a possible insurgent attack are really clear.

Favorability: 4/5

I will admit, I'm biased on this. I've spent more time as a player than as a Warden, and that colors my experience. That being said: this entire pamphlet is sick as hell. It feels in universe, it offers information like a dossier for a military briefing, and if you wanted to, this pamphlet itself could be a resource and prop for the game. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence but it's reminiscent of pre-Covenant Halo lore, which provides a nice moral dilemma. I'm a little partial to weirder concepts, but this has a very grounded feeling that feels exactly mothership.

Usability: 5/5

In terms of immediate pick up and usability, this feels reliable. If I forgot to prep for the session that week, I could grab this and have a fantastic morally interesting scenario for the night without anyone being the wiser. Plenty of grab & go stuff here, including a scenario where you can almosy literally plug & play in.

Theme:3/5

Right to the point, the theme doesn't feel so much like it was the center of this trifold, but it compliments the rest of the pamphlet very well, detailing the weapons, tactics, and history.  Underground fighters, company messages between the lines, everything the pamphlet says to outline what it doesn't say fits Beneath The Surface in an esoteric sense, but the application of it in totality feels overshadowed by the rest of the content. Honestly I'm grading this a 3 because it takes a different ambitious philosophical direction to Beneath The Surface and while it is solid, the landing was a little off center.

Overall, stellar work, this should be an ol' reliable in any Warden's tool belt, and if you're making a low-alien Mothership scenario or campaign, this is a must-download. I know I'm getting out the good paper to print this one out.