Hiya, took some stray notes as I was reading, these are those notes!

When I got to the squirrels vs bears part I said out loud "oh no it's roblox from hell!" (i know almost nothing about roblox aside from the fact that kids can make their own games and they are enormously popular. so it is probably nothing like roblox. but i thought it was funny)

The combo of the shared hallucination + using the party's highest stress on dream rolls is a great way to reinforce narrative in gameplay. Love to see it

The way you've presented the real/unreal in tandem is really funny (in the good way). example i am thinking of here is room 4 -- black text, drooling people, red text, the most beautiful thing ever. got a chuckle outta me. also "a squirrel watches on solemnly."

How do you envision the players talking down Agent X? It'd be neat to see a little more on them, their motivations, fears, something to leverage. 

Stray thought, but after reading "Mines" in several of the modules, I had to readjust my brain every time I read MNEs, haha.

Cool stuff here! I could see it getting expanded into a bigger world, with more areas with more "games" and more tie-ins to the traumatic events of the society's past.

(also unrelated but I love the two snakes logo!)

Thank you to everyone who has given feedback so far! It’s very useful and inspiring :)

You've got some great concepts in here! I also really like the grungy header treatment on the outside pages. The timeline is constructed well and the pitch functions as a solid one-shot starting point. I think there's some great implied history and the spy vibes are welcome in a typically blue-collar universe. I also dig the Hyper-Real encounters table - tying results to stress makes a lot of sense and there's a good variety in the entries.

Where I feel there could be improvement is partially in the writing of the locations and in some visual aspects. The 3x3 grid setup on the inside is a tad rigid, I think the typefaces chosen are a bit of a tonal mismatch with the writing, and a lot of encounters focus on violence without alternatives (although this is substantially helped by the respawning gimmick).  This all said, it's a solid module and there's plenty more potential to be squeezed out if you're looking to!

First, a quick typo, in the block “Who Are You?” you have written “posess” instead of possess (missing the first double s) note - I don’t knock points for typos haha

Okay that out of the way, I enjoyed reading Lookback and I think there is a lot to like about the general vibe and ideas there in. I do think it would take a bit extra prep for a warden to get the most out of this in its current state but I think you are close to something super cool.

One thing to think about is how Agent X has become swept up in the “Game” of it all and is hostile to the characters… what if instead of one agent there were two, and they have both become integrated into the game, each on a different side of the war, not only do you need to find them but you have to bring their sanity back to them… The PCs could try to join one faction and help them “Win” so the game will be over, or they could learn about the factions and have to “Talk Down” the Agents, or learn about the agents and bring them back to themselves… there are a lot of cool ways i think you could use the pieces you have to make a cooler end result.

Regardless, I had fun reading this one and hope you do a post Jam version from the notes you are getting because this is an idea that deserves you going the extra mile to bring it to its full potential!

I really like the vibe of this, there are some fun things in here! Though in my opinion, the MNES should really be an alternate Virtual Boy XD, here is my feedback!
+ Clear and readable layout
+ Lookback adjacent information being colour coded in location keys is a great shorthand.
+ I love the random table and that it has a mechanical impact
- Location keys are a bit dense, they could do with a bit of simplification and editing to make them easier to parse at a glance.`
- A bit unclear if the players can refuse Lookback, I assume they can, but the text implies they are just administered it.
- No guidance on creating the PC's original personas, even though it is important to the module, even a mention of doing this beforehand would be helpful to wardens.
- No good reason to take Lookback, it would be cool if it provided a mechanical benefit (stress relief, or advantage on a check/save perhaps?) or there was a mystery/clue/puzzle that required its use.