First off, this is beautiful. I was excited to read this from the jump when I saw the art, and the fact that you made a soundtrack is incredible - kudos!

I deeply enjoy the vibes. I think one of the things that Mothership could use more of is existential dread and the horrors of melancholia. I think that Gradient Descent is the ur-text for Mothership in that regard, and I’m getting similar vibes from this, which is the highest praise I can give in terms of emotional texture.

Content and mechanics-wise, I do have some notes:

• As expressed separately, a clear and concise summary at the top can really set the stage for the module. Some of the information from the timeline could easily be moved into the summary on the front panel, with the current first paragraph acting as the final statement of intent for the module.
• Along a similar line, refrain from redundant information or restating the same information in different ways, especially when you’ve limited space. The quotes from the NPCs could be condensed, or their motivations shifted to bulletpoints. I would only include quotes if they are flavorful, useful, and/or interesting - the quote from Claudius (“Get the Data Back-up and Black Box from the control room”) isn’t really any of the above as this info was included on the front cover. One of the bullets for Ophelia is a character action/reaction, not a quote, so I would either shift it into the main body of her summary or change the format to all bullet points.
• Minor note, but I would include info on whether diving suits have AP or the like. It’s fine if they don’t, but it’s always helpful to clarify for GMs or players that want to know. We all have that one player that will definitely ask.
• The timeline could use some context as to the actual passage of time between events. One bullet lists 12 months, but there’s no info on how long it was between Ophelia beginning the terraforming project and falling in love with Laertes.
• Some info on why the base was destroyed by flooding, specifically, would be good. Was it built partially submerged due to the planet being primarily oceanic? Is it a side-effect of the terraforming process creating large volumes of water? The O2 mechanics are very cool, but not 100% clear why they are necessary for this facility.
• For the map, I personally found the numbering confusing at first. After a bit I got it (00 being the top floor, 11 being floor 1, room 1, etc.), but I think something as simple as adding a dash to designate floor-room would make it easier to parse (e.g. instead of 21, include 2-1 for floor 2, room 1). It made me feel like I was a little crazy at first trying to figure out how we get from room 00 to room 21!
• The gray font on room text in the map blends with the background a little. It’s legible, but a little harder than it needs to be to read on a laptop.
• The map mentions a “Blow Torch” being required. Is this equivalent to the Hand Welder from the PSG? If so, I would either note the stats for it as Blow Torch (as Hand Welder) or just replace it with Hand Welder. Room 32 (Living Quarters) notes a Blow Torch floating around - it would be useful to note whether it has a full or partial charge, because that could dictate which rooms PCs may decide to try to access once they have it in hand if it doesn’t have enough juice to cut through all the locked doors.

I feel like that was a lot of critique, but it’s mostly because I can see how much love went into this and want to see it really sing. The map is far and away the most detailed part of this module, and it’s a thing of beauty. If you ever want to discuss anything in more detail, just let me know.

This is a good one overall, probably in my top ten, although there's one thing that seems missing to me that I'd have to brainstorm a solution to if I was going to run it. I'll get to that in a moment.

It looks very nice. The cover art in particular is great, and the map and character portraits are both pretty good. I like the use of colour. Only complaint layout-wise is that there are a few places the text is right up against something... type needs to breathe, as my typography teacher used to say. Easy to fix though, just add some internal margin to your text boxes and external margin to the text wrap on your character portraits.

Like with a number of the other modules, I found myself wishing there was a single-paragraph Warden's summary on the flap before we get to the timeline and stuff. Reading everything else becomes easier once you know there's a bioweapon, a scientist who was experimenting on people, and a woman who rebelled and caused the tower to become flooded and the bioweapon to get loose.

(I've had some pushback on that feedback from a couple of people, so let me add a disclaimer and say this may just be because I'm a news editor and spend my days telling people to get to the point immediately, not to bury the lede. I feel that applies to modules too, but opinions seem to vary.)

Minor omission from the map: I guess that 42 and 43 are not flooded? I found myself wondering how Ophelia was alive and playing the piano underwater, but then noticed that there's a slight blue tint to everything except those areas. I would add that to the map key and maybe make the tint a little darker to be more obvious.

My bigger complaint about the structure of the story is that there seems like a lot of exploration without any threat other than taking too long and running out of oxygen, followed by a climax that might be over very quickly. I don't necessarily mind a lot of build-up, but the Homogen only shows up once all the doors are open and the characters have what they need, at which point I don't see anything that would stop the players from swimming straight up the elevator shaft to get away, which doesn't seem like a satisfying end. Unless they get cornered and have no choice but to fight, which also isn't ideal.

So, to run this I would have to come up with a way to force a more complex endgame, ideally one that would reward the players for having poked around and laid some groundwork during the relatively stress-free exploration phase of the scenario, rather than just speedrunning everything. A chase sequence that involves the elevator shaft somehow getting sealed might work, so e.g. if they've cut through the ships in the docking bay they have a better chance of making it.

I really enjoyed reading through this adventure and I think it's got a really distinct identity apart from the standard "biolab gone to shit" plotline! Love the melancholy Signalis-style buildup. The NPC relationships are well-considered, the horror itself is cool, and the art direction is excellent. I especially want to highlight the map! Its icons could be bigger for my terrible eyes, but it establishes a great sense of geography for exploration and I really value that in modules of this kind! I'm also a fan of the oxygen resource tracking, perfect way to incentivize the PCs to keep things moving and make interesting choices.

I do have some concerns around the formatting - text tends to run into margins and the condensed body font + thinner headers creates some readability issues in some areas. Grey highlights fade important text into the background more than it should - underlining or using red might pop more effectively. 

All that said, this is a really cohesive module and a great showing for the jam! Oh - I can't not mention the full EP of ambient tracks! Incredibly impressive extra mile, very immersive and vibey.

For future jams, (or products) having the PDF as a separate file to download would be awesome. I had a WTF moment when I saw I was downloading 164 megs of data.

A solid and meloncholic adventure that is framed as a simple job, only to uncover a tragic and personal story, reminiscing stories such as Signalis. 

+ Well thought out NPCs and their impact with the timeline 

+ Simple yet effective monster design with easy to understand mechanics

+ Overall refreshing backstory to the events of the disaster that isn't just due to the existence of a monster

As you've expressed interest in receiving feedback, here are my main points of interest. 

Although the backstory of the adventure is fleshed out, the overall present game feels to  lack any tension because the monster is being subdued by Ophelia. It even seems you can complete the job without ever encountering the monster or Ophelia, though I might be wrong in this aspect. Another aspect to this is it feels difficult to know what to do with Ophelia outside of finding her, even making her confusing as to why she'd stop playing the piano they is subdueing the monster. It says she seeks revenge, but it seems vague as to what that revenge is. It seems like she already got her revenge by killing the doctor. 

I think the present game could benefit from reframing the job to also destroy the "bioweapon" in the facility, giving OP tools to do so but not explaining its true nature. Then have  the monster be an ambush predator that roams around, all while Ophelia is doing what she can to hide the monster/ their bond from being hunted. This can give a lot of danger for the players to experience while leaving a moral dilemma to deal with, which makes Ophelia's current role all the more clear and make learning about her backstory that much more impactful. Plus, if the players refuse to side with her, now Ophelia's revenge becomes clear as her hand is forced to turn on the players. 

A minor point with the visuals is that, although it looks very sleek, it is losing contrast and readibilty with anything that's in grey, like the vent ducts and highlighted descriptions. A very minor nitpick, it'd be nice if the pamphlet is a seperate download from the supplementary material, as it's a surprisingly heavy file to download in order to just check the pamphlet. 

Overall, I think this has a lot of great potential to serve as a tragic story for players to learn and experience, rather than the common setup of surviving against a monster. But there currently needs more involvement with the monster to give a sense of danger and split the party between being merciful or not. 

Really cool art and aesthetic, and I really like the O2 mechanic and I think it work work very well during play. So after processing this adventure I just have some thoughts about what is going on, and let me know how accurate my comprehension is.

Ophelia was in love with Laertes (who has been assimilated into the Homogen) - So she plays piano for the abomination to lull it to sleep. I assume Ophelia has kind of a weird relationship with the Homogen, as it killed her love, but now her love exists within it. She probably doesn't want to see it harmed or destroyed. I think that creates some interesting tension between Ophelia and the players (and I think perhaps your intention?). But my suggestion is just be a little more explicit about Ophelia's relationship with the Homogen. Also in the security room there is a picture that hints at Ophelia's relationship with Laertes. I would try to include more things the players can find to unravel the story before they meet Ophelia (like a defaced plaque of Dr.Polonius scrated with the words "Justice for Laertes"), more elements of show, don't tell.  I would also like to see some instructions on what the Homogen does once it awakes, and a statblock.

Overall a solid adventure filled with horror and melancholy, and something I would love to run :)

Nice portraits. I wish I had one for the monster. Neat vibes. The corp dude looks really like a pos haha

I really loved the melancholic tone of it all, very evocative, as I read I could imagine some great scenes targeted at different types of players. The art and design work really well with the story without sacrificing simplicity of use.

I'm also very partial to adventures where players can take their time and deal with small constant issues until they have to make a big escape. I'm 100% gonna run this.

I really like the look of the map and the whole atmosphere of the module.

Some of text is a bit tricky for me to read:

• I think the two column panels by the map could use a dark background to help the text standout from the background (similar to the first page).
• The what happened on Elsinor III section could use a tad of right margin

The homogen hits a creepy sweet spot for me.

Ambient soundtrack AND character portraits!!! (extra credits)