First off, this is beautiful. I was excited to read this from the jump when I saw the art, and the fact that you made a soundtrack is incredible - kudos!
I deeply enjoy the vibes. I think one of the things that Mothership could use more of is existential dread and the horrors of melancholia. I think that Gradient Descent is the ur-text for Mothership in that regard, and I’m getting similar vibes from this, which is the highest praise I can give in terms of emotional texture.
Content and mechanics-wise, I do have some notes:
- As expressed separately, a clear and concise summary at the top can really set the stage for the module. Some of the information from the timeline could easily be moved into the summary on the front panel, with the current first paragraph acting as the final statement of intent for the module.
- Along a similar line, refrain from redundant information or restating the same information in different ways, especially when you’ve limited space. The quotes from the NPCs could be condensed, or their motivations shifted to bulletpoints. I would only include quotes if they are flavorful, useful, and/or interesting - the quote from Claudius (“Get the Data Back-up and Black Box from the control room”) isn’t really any of the above as this info was included on the front cover. One of the bullets for Ophelia is a character action/reaction, not a quote, so I would either shift it into the main body of her summary or change the format to all bullet points.
- Minor note, but I would include info on whether diving suits have AP or the like. It’s fine if they don’t, but it’s always helpful to clarify for GMs or players that want to know. We all have that one player that will definitely ask.
- The timeline could use some context as to the actual passage of time between events. One bullet lists 12 months, but there’s no info on how long it was between Ophelia beginning the terraforming project and falling in love with Laertes.
- Some info on why the base was destroyed by flooding, specifically, would be good. Was it built partially submerged due to the planet being primarily oceanic? Is it a side-effect of the terraforming process creating large volumes of water? The O2 mechanics are very cool, but not 100% clear why they are necessary for this facility.
- For the map, I personally found the numbering confusing at first. After a bit I got it (00 being the top floor, 11 being floor 1, room 1, etc.), but I think something as simple as adding a dash to designate floor-room would make it easier to parse (e.g. instead of 21, include 2-1 for floor 2, room 1). It made me feel like I was a little crazy at first trying to figure out how we get from room 00 to room 21!
- The gray font on room text in the map blends with the background a little. It’s legible, but a little harder than it needs to be to read on a laptop.
- The map mentions a “Blow Torch” being required. Is this equivalent to the Hand Welder from the PSG? If so, I would either note the stats for it as Blow Torch (as Hand Welder) or just replace it with Hand Welder. Room 32 (Living Quarters) notes a Blow Torch floating around - it would be useful to note whether it has a full or partial charge, because that could dictate which rooms PCs may decide to try to access once they have it in hand if it doesn’t have enough juice to cut through all the locked doors.
I feel like that was a lot of critique, but it’s mostly because I can see how much love went into this and want to see it really sing. The map is far and away the most detailed part of this module, and it’s a thing of beauty. If you ever want to discuss anything in more detail, just let me know.