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ABYSS//EXE (mothership module)'s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Theme - How well does it match the Jam's Theme? | #5 | 4.353 | 4.353 |
| Polish - How is the overall look/vibes/writing & design? | #11 | 3.882 | 3.882 |
| Overall | #12 | 3.779 | 3.779 |
| Favorability - how much do you personally like the submission? | #18 | 3.471 | 3.471 |
| Usability - How "pick up & play" is this for a Warden? | #18 | 3.412 | 3.412 |
Ranked from 17 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous.
- The front panel and the art throughout is amazing, you've got a really compelling pitch here and I love the repeated emphasis on “this is not a rescue mission.” So many Mothership crews might be tempted to be altruistic - this mean streak will set this adventure apart for any table. Bring a bastard to this one! I also really enjoy the personality of the AI throughout and the atmosphere generated by having to distrust the technology the party encounters. Sirens are horrifying as well and I like having options to juggle in a scenario! Depending on player choices I can lean on either one as the "main" villain. Where I feel the adventure could be improved is in the layout and hierarchy of information. The use of colour to differentiate text is a good starting point, but using only colour as opposed to alternate fonts/bold/italics in tandem flattens out the visual treatment and somewhat harms the readability in my view. I also feel the colour-coding could be given a consistency pass so a certain colour is only ever used in reference to specific story elements or mechanics. So broad strokes: I think it could be pushed further but it's not much further to go. Print copies are already going to look and read nicely, but I encourage you to punch it up a bit and make them look and read phenomenally. Congrats on an atmospheric and effective module!
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Comments
hiya, here are some stray notes i took while reading this one!
before i get into the meat of it, just wanted to say that this entry was one of two that my layout designer specifically wanted to call out for being excellent cases to look at while she was figuring out how to do ours. kudos from her! ok now it's my turn to read!
realllly nice writing on the intro page. sets me up perfectly to both get the vibe and want to know more.
sirens are a great horror, and the transformation timeline is scary as heck, nice work!
great legible layout for the map. appreciate the color coding for encounters/loot etc. color choices on the whole, actually, really nice across the board. i wouldn't mind a little more to break up the segments of text, but that's a minor quibble.
really enjoyed this one! plenty of great headfucks baked in, very pretty presentation, probably some of my fave original art of the entire jam. nice work!
Ok, robot has done it again. I don't think the sirens will be as much of a hurdle as others have stated. But I need to run it to be sure.
The corrupted terminals mechanic is really cool! I think leaning into the idea of an AI that knows more than it should about the PCs is intriguing. That said, I will raise the concern that I'm not sure how likely the PCs are to survive this module if Siren triggers are so common.
The front panel and the art throughout is amazing, you've got a really compelling pitch here and I love the repeated emphasis on “this is not a rescue mission.” So many Mothership crews might be tempted to be altruistic - this mean streak will set this adventure apart for any table. Bring a bastard to this one!
Where I feel the adventure could be improved is in the layout and hierarchy of information. The use of colour to differentiate text is a good starting point, but using only colour as opposed to alternate fonts/bold/italics in tandem flattens out the visual treatment and somewhat harms the readability in my view. I also feel the colour-coding could be given a consistency pass so a certain colour is only ever used in reference to specific story elements or mechanics.
So broad strokes: I think it could be pushed further but it's not much further to go. Print copies are already going to look and read nicely and the atmosphere/horror is fantastically conveyed already. Good stuff!
I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:
---Good colour scheme, visually striking. Helps identify elements in the dungeon aspect
---Neat in-universe memo that can be treated like a handout or job offer
---Intriguing horror with the geology being sentient. How do you kill a landscape? Cool and thought provoking
---A bit of a Metroidvania aspect to the dungeon crawl, well integrated
---There is a Siren Transformation trigger in nearly every room, PC escape mathematically unlikely
I love underwater and katakana.
The art is fantastic. The graphic design is okay but there's room for improvement on that front in terms of information hierarchy, alignment, having more visual variation to break things up a bit, etc. The map is probably the thing that most needs improvement as it's functional enough but not attractive especially in comparison to the illustrations... the numbers being slightly off-centre is particularly irksome.
I like the environment a lot, and it fits the theme perfectly. The suggestions for how the evil AI manifests itself through glitching terminals are solid... "wait, I never said that" would be a great moment.
Usability is good overall. The main thing that seems missing is an indication of how and when players progress through the transformation and whether there's a way to save them. I also note there's a mention of overriding the self-destruct without any indication of where or how that might get engaged.
What would keep me from running this with my current group is that it's structurally so similar to the first part of Another Bug Hunt. Lost contact with a station, the crew are turning into monsters due to an infection that's transmitted through technology and/or directly by the monsters' vocalizations, and there's a rogue AI/android that wants to spread it deliberately. I think it would be a good introductory module for a group that hasn't played ABH, but if you have I think it comes off as "okay, this again, but underwater," despite some differences in the specifics.
I appreciate the feedback, Ill be taking your comments into consideration as i do plan to do a revision / expansion of this module. Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts!
Hey Ok,Robot, sorry for another message but I just got word from Kharrak (TKG’s 3pp rep) and he still hasn’t received your submission for approval. there has been some confusion with what email to send things to make sure you send it to:
3pp@tuesdayknightgames.com
(both connect@tuesdayknightgames.com and 3pp@tuesdayknightgames [no “.com”] have been used by people, neither of which will reach the right person)
Thanks!
Thanks for letting me know, I guess i sent it to the wrong email.
Its been resent now.
Hey Ok,Robot, Before you submit your doc make sure you have applied for TKG’s approval. you can do so by contacting 3pp@tuesdayknightgames.com thanks! additionally please list your game as not having any price (even “pay what you want” is not allowed at this time. we don’t want anyone who is doing the judging to feel inclined to pay.) After the jam is over then you can list it for whatever price you see fit. and lastly please make sure you credit anyone who worked on this project as well as anyone who’s work was used (in the case of creative commons material and the like) if you did everything yourself still credit yourself as such!
Thanks!
Hi, yes ive submitted it to TKG, Thanks!
thanks! please adjust your pricing to free, and credit creators/creative commons as soon as you can, and everything will then be compliant with the Jam.
just saw you updated things, thank you kindly! and congrats on what looks to be a cool adventure!
Hey OK,Robot
my apologies, I have made a small rule change in favor of allowing submissions to be open for Donations, the edited rule reads as:
During the Jam you may list your game as Free or open to Donations. Someone pointed out to me that so long as submitters and judges download from the submissions tab instead of the individual pages, it will always download like its free. the original intent of this rule was to keep people from feeling inclined to donate simply to be a part of the Judging process. My apologies to those who were affected by this rule.
I hope this helps!