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Thank you for your candid feedback, I really appreciate it. I agree that the aspects you point out could be enhanced to strengthen the adventure if they were adjusted. All of these are very valid and the entry would benefit from some changes to accommodate these.  You’ve given me a lot to reflect on as I consider ways to enhance this adventure, and what to keep in mind as I develop future ones.

I appreciate you highlighting these opportunities for me, thank you. I will shoot you  a DM, it would be great to chat more!

Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it. I was pleased with the writing and wanted the theme to reappear on a few different levels. I agree that the visual treatment leaves something be desired. If you don’t mind me asking, which specific visual elements detracted from the overall piece?

Separately as I’ve been reviewing the other entries I’ve realized taking a graphic design class would be really beneficial. It’s definitely an area I can develop and grow into.

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Interesting concept with the environment being the horror, cosmic radiation on the surface, and the wound slowly closing up

---Some of the reactions to the crisis seem a little unaligned to the timelines. Boarded up shops after 7 hours of in-game time may be quick

---The Layout and Mounting Panic tables could have been all on the back spread, perhaps with a map to give scale

---I like the NPCs, it would be good if they could be associated with a specific area or areas

---If the PCs are going to get caught in the trap, there could be more detail about the lowest and most luxurious levels

This is really helpful, I appreciate the depth and consideration you've given in your response. I agree that I could rearrange some information (or remove some) and give more focus to the areas you highlight. Thanks for your time putting this together, I am grateful

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Very useful Warden Notes with adventure key that explains how to read and use the module

---Good simple adventure frame, easy to hook the players into the action

---Strong visual design and colour choices make this easy to read and find information

---I like the slow escape mechanics that keeps them in the action longer. The 10m per minute to ascent seems short.

---Why wouldn't the PCs be in full pressure suits and have no bends? Cool in the fiction but unclear on the science

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Good colour scheme, visually striking. Helps identify elements in the dungeon aspect

---Neat in-universe memo that can be treated like a handout or job offer

---Intriguing horror with the geology being sentient. How do you kill a landscape? Cool and thought provoking

---A bit of a Metroidvania aspect to the dungeon crawl, well integrated

---There is a Siren Transformation trigger in nearly every room, PC escape mathematically unlikely

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Cool concept with a self aware planet trying to integrate the players

---Simple generator for making unique organisms

---It was a little unclear the PCs have crash landed. I had to read it twice to make sure.

---I feel like the ASA members are missing stats, or guidance on what stats should be

---I like the integration mechanic but it feels like the adventure would conclude before it gets full use

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Cool map, easy to read and locate key NPCs

---Solid layout, easy to read and locate key information through the playthrough

---Cool horror generator, very monster of the week driven

---Something interesting happening in every room, and easy to improvise against

---Simple and effective rules for when Something Sinister Happens (2 rooms is a good measure)

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Cool in-universe frame. Lore heavy without being heavy handed

---Genuinely fun to read

---Weapons aren't substantially different than from the core book, missed opportunity to make them more unique

---Cool little ambush scenario, again presented in universe

---Drone modification section is very cool and would likely get used at the table repeatedly

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:

---Very straightforward adventure frame and hook, easy to run

---Good, simple visuals. Easy to read

---System Deviations - 10 minutes of real time is quite quick, and in an hours time you have a 50% chance of getting a double with only 10 entries.

---Kronos Tunneler could probably use stats from Shipbreakers Toolkit

---Great dungeon crawl, well laid out, something happening in each room

I read through you jam entry. Here's my written commentary on your adventure content and layout:
---Small font size and textured background make it difficult to read, as well flow of information a little complex to follow

---Cool concept with the paperclip tracker. Very small tho, I'd need a tiny paperclip.

---I like the map and how it aligns with the text in the middle column. Many crossed lines could be avoided by adjusting text flow.

---Would benefit from some formatting to break up the text and highlight key terms. Bold, italic, and underlines

---Interesting surreal dreamscape exploration, pushes the boundaries of a traditional adventure

Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate it. If you have the chance to expand more I am always eager for feedback. If there are things that could be changed to enhance how the adventure hits, that is always helpful too.