Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate it. If you have the chance to expand more I am always eager for feedback. If there are things that could be changed to enhance how the adventure hits, that is always helpful too.
Viewing post in Commit To Memory jam comments
Certainly. My main point of feedback is that, although there many NPCs the players can talk to, it feels difficult to determine how useful they are and how they are tied to the plot. All the NPCs seem to belong into one of three groups: PTI students, Dargan Cartel, and Cirrus Station residents. I would love to have a section that breaks each group down to establish what information/ experience they generally have with the plot, especially regarding Barbara and Sal. I feel you can open some space to do so by removing the location table (numbering the location headers instead) and the Skills table (as I'm unsure how this table is meant to be used). By establishing this information, I feel it is a lot easier for Wardens to come up with information on the spot and strengthen these tangling plot points, creating a deep mystery.
A minor point is, given the rarity to directly see the Dream Eater, I wonder if the Cosmic Nightmare table can be made to be more involved/ punishing. Also, given that, if players use the Memory Machine and leave, it would nice to know what happens when they fail to repeat the process, like withdrawal symptoms.
Overall, I feel there is great potential to create a multiple session mystery, especially once every NPCs' possessed knowledge is organized.