itch.io

Now that so many people want a reset button, I’ll probably update the game to contain a neutral way to reset the game sometime after the voting phase ends.

If the loose ends were either about the unmentioned cycles or their lives before the story, then that’s completely on me 😔. Scope-creep hits like a truck, and a lot (except only the most important scenes) were omitted due to time and word count constraints.

Unfortunately, you will have to redownload the game.

The third ending is a form of freedom, and our team decided that simply giving a replay button is like the user enabling the suffering again with their own hands.

I think what’s going on was just flat-out stated in the third ending. If you consider each replay a loop, then eventually, MC hits his limit and that lead to the final cycle where that ending happens.

Thanks for the kind words <3 the artists did an amazing job on this fr

This review is for v0.7 eng translation.

The story is rather short and dreamy, though it leaves much to be desired. Just to be clear, I love the setting and the roles of each character in the story, but randomly leaving the MC in the ruins at the start felt a bit contrived (and I may have missed it but there was no explanation for that either). As a result, the story instantly grabbed my attention but offers no satisfying payoff…which is kind of a missed opportunity.

I know that this is the translated ver, but the prose doesn’t flow well at all. It was an attempt at flowery and mystical prose that trips over its own leg more than it helps. Sometimes, the description felt redundant, and at other times, too on the nose for its own good. (Also that scene with the three cats at the end felt kind of random and I’m still unsure what that scene’s purpose is).

I really love the art and music direction of the story tho, the color scheme works really well (and idk if the intention is making MC’s sprite stands out, but it definitely worked). The bath CG felt a bit underutilized, especially since there wasn’t anything of too much importance happening in there.

At first I thought the two was an allegory for science vs religion, but then the thing with the Plague faction + the other bear character appears and suddenly I’m not sure anymore -.-

For the theme, each character (and especially the wolf) has their own ‘Light in the Dark’. In both endings, Aeron received the light in different ways (death/acceptance(?))

P.S me omw to ask Aeron if I love him (the answer is yes)

Rating: 5335

Thanks for your insightful insights :vv about the prose and imagery. I tried my best but only further writing experience can patch this one I fear 🤭🤭.

For the connections between characters, I thought that developing their relationship too fast will feel unrewarding, and maybe I had held back too much. (I could’ve made the replays a different experience altogether but after writing 1 route, the word counts says no 😔)

Plot-wise, I really could have characterized their relationship better through the routes, though I do think those flashbacks are enough to piece together what is their relationship (because rearranging it in the right order spells out a rough timeline already). Perhaps another scene would’ve been better than that second postscript im ngl (I could’ve written a wedding omlll)

For the NVL…uh I really didn’t notice that 💀. I checked like quite a few times thinking I might’ve missed something and it still eludes me in the end.

A short and impactful story, and also one of the best MayWolf entry this year. The story manages to be really creative with just one scene (and one* sprite). I love the interconnected use of ‘You’ and ‘I’, really gives a sense of not being in reality. The writing was amazing, giving enough room for me to keep up despite alternating between You/I and Jes,Bel/with their real counterparts.

For the presentation, the music is fine, though I don’t think it necessarily fits too well. Another thing, is the differing static audio intentional? I can barely hear the static from ‘Light’ even with max setting while ‘Bel’ and him are wayy louder than the rest. Also the last instance of Bel and Jez does not have that static, which I’d assume is Remy not being to differentiate between fake and real for that one second, though I’d love some type of clarification on that (maybe like one line asking are you real?) or sth idk. The shift between the spiraling to the sudden ‘Remy, I’m not real’ is sort of sudden, but it do be like that sometimes.

P.S I ran out of witty comments :(, I guess I’ll just become another one of those meat with nervous tissues.

Rating: 5545

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 5555

It’s a kink piece with some plot in it. And well even if some scenes are admittedly kinda hot 😅😅, I still prefer the plot heavy latter half. The story spread wasn’t equal, and the dialogue isn’t great (though it got a few laughs out of me for how silly it is). The characters themselves aren’t great either, mainly because they feel a bit too two dimensional (with the exception of the wolf) and I expected for there to be a bit more…oomph at the killings reveal and all that came after (given MC’s motivation for saving the wolf was because he thinks physical abuse is never justified, and the killings was more of revenge instead of self defense)…but maybe I shouldn’t read into it too much.

Presentation, it has funny scenes, it has horny scenes, and the bright red flash in the middle of the story that hurts my eye :<. The prose wasn’t done well, but the focus is the horny anyway. You could say that this is a Maywolf entry of all time (for what is to be discovered).

Theme, I don’t really see it even though it’s flat out told to you in the story. MC (kind of) saves wolf from circumstances and he fell into a similarly dire circumstance. And now MC is probably busy lovestruck for nearly forever -.-

P.S The second the dragon came on screen I prepared like 40 sex jokes to put in this section but alas he gone -.- So I will put a suggestion instead. The main menu screen after the game has a lot of changes namely the boards don’t light up, there’s no escort, MC crying. I think you could also make it so that it’s night to reference the line about looking at the moon everyday.

Rating: 2234

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 2334

A rather short story but really hits close to home for me. There wasn’t a lot to say here, a person that wouldn’t be accepted where they are finds a place (and a person) more welcoming. It may be classic, but it’s sweet and done well, and that’s all that matters.

However, my biggest gripe is with the presentation of the story. Aside from things like sprites floating on hiding the window and the final image being a non-transparent, single color white (I think it should be or with a simple bg is fine too).

The writing is…for lack of a better word, exhausting to read through. The latter half was beautifully done, though for the cops scene, I can’t really feel the tension. Perhaps a better use of sprites/expression and writing could’ve helped with that. For the first half though, the writing felt like it tried too hard to be flowery, and the end result is cramming so much into a sentence that hurts the flow of narration by a lot. In some scenes, an especially a despairing/tired character like MC at the start, it may have been better to just stick with simpler prose, and split his thoughts into more manageable parts.

I kind of wished there was something more with the mom at the end, maybe like a cutoff, once and for all instead of just taking the police’s words and throw it in the wind, but that’s nothing too major.

It was the headlights, then it was Ridge, and finally it was a new future-freedom. The ‘Light in the Dark’ is always present in the story in one way or another, guiding MC away from his darkness. Again, it hits really close to home for me, maybe a bit too close, but that’s a good thing.

P.S If I have a wolfman in my bed for every time an entry about a DILF wolf trucker saving you from darkness I’d have 2 wolfmen. More please cause 2 is too little I fear.

Rating: 5433

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 5444

A dreadfully painful but at the same time, somewhat heartwarming story. I especially love the earlier mundane scene, it contrasts very well with the setting (though the setting could’ve been more slowly integrated instead of a blunt statement, but it’s fine). The characters feel very real, and their personalities was shown interacting with their circumstances in a way that captivated me from the beginning to the end.

Oh and when the pain hits, it hits hard. Even when I’ve known how the ending would be from the MC’s musings, the way it is executed is spectacular. I was left speechless for a while after the end cause…OMG??? At least it seems to me that there’s still some part of themselves despite being infected, they better live happily ever after together 🔫.

Mister Ed there is a simple but haunting way to really drive home the stakes of the story, and to nail that final atmospheric touch. (shoutout to my man Ed and his jazz)

For the presentation, I love the color theme choice and the style of the art. Some description (especially when they are together on the rooftop) could’ve been written a bit better, but the dialogue conveying emotions is on point. The music choice was really chill, which really fits what the characters were trying to feel despite the infection. The music for the final scene really paints the mood well, even with the visceral descriptions (that is mostly censored by infected text) on screen. Overall it’s really peak I’m ngl, I’m probably gonna be thinking about this story for the next few days.

Two characters finding solace in each other as the time ticks down, and finally the MC voluntarily fall into Birch’s (infected) arm, each giving an interpretation of ‘Light in the Dark’. Love that <3

P.S Those exposed nipples are plot relevant because looking at them turns my sadness into joy /j/j

Rating: 4554

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 5554

The way I laughed the entire time reading this entry…oh my stomach hurts.

I mean…the entry was made in one day, clearly it was meant to be silly. Idk if I should give a normal review here tbh.

The plot is short and funny, and MC so real with the comment on the wolf. I wish I can also turn people into cars though…and undress their shirt with a thought.

Anyway theme is the ‘solution’ and being coerced into the solution by (sexy wolf men????) I guess the ‘Dark’ is MC being too gay twink coded after all (honestly so real for that though).

P.S If MC ingest negative matter twice does it compound into a positive and he turns back to normal or will he pop like a balloon and enter the backrooms due to the overwhelming amount of negative energy?

Rating: 2234

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 1234

I really love the way the story was told, although, aside from the first scene switch, everything else was rather sudden. As a result, when reading (at least for me) the focus was more on placing the scenes on a concrete timeline rather than really resonating with the character and creating a sense of immersion in the story (which is fine, if the intention was for the reader to view the story in a more holistic way).

Some scenes also doesn’t have a satisfying end like the church scene, like it just cuts and that’s pretty jarring (idk if that’s the intention but there isn’t any transition like screen shake into the last one so I assume that the scene just ends there instead of being interrupted).

Perhaps I could surmise that there are similarities between the way the relationship between MC and the 2 wolves develop (namely the Lugh sex scene followed by the Randall scene about the church), though I’m not sure how much of this is correct (since the scenes before this seemed to just be switching between the 2 wolves instead of bearing any deeper meaning.

For presentation, the prose was really good, and the sprites are even better. Oh and I love that fountain CG at the end. The main menu was a bit bright for the buttons (not the start button guide existing on your game page 😭😭). Not to mention the Jam sprite jumpscare lmaoo, you could’ve made them fade in or sth (and if you want it to be an interruption, try accompanying it with an vshake or hshake effect).

For the theme, Lugh seems to be the ‘Light’ here, with the ‘Dark’ being after that scene with Randall. Although what happened to Lugh at the end? Are they in a relationship? Or did he also leave? (Maybe answering that question in the ending with the mention/lack of mention about him might be better than just MC trying to let go of Randall).

P.S I would love it if the MC sprite was utilized more I’m ngl, maybe in those 1 on 1 convos.

Rating: 4444

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 5444

One of the best looking projects I’ve seen thus far. I really love the old-ish computer feel and the way you masked the UI buttons (both in the main menu and in the videos). The way you read the story is unique too, accessing video files to get snippets of the plot, however this is also an issue with the story we have at hand. The wedding video dragged on way too much, and the fact that they are married could possibly be conveyed in a more concise manner, all the while leaving room for more plot points to appear. These films seemed to be in chronological order, though it leaves too much questions in the air (like what is his relationship w/ his parents? how did Milton’s friend met him? Where did he go? Did Milton have a chance to confess? etc). There should be some mysteries, but too much leads to a lack of cohesion (with the same character being featured the only real connector between the scenes). As such, there wasn’t a clear conflict…or any kind of interesting development either, making the story kinda boring to read through (but tbf the current story is not that long).

Presentation wise, it’s perfect! Although I’d prefer it if there were some sounds in the other files and not just the last one. The characterization was also done well, and there exists a clear distinction between how characters act.

The theme was quite unclear to me, because from the description and the story, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything resembling an allegory to ‘Light’ (well unless old memories counts but i don’t feel (or see) this information impact the opener of these files at all).

Rating: 1255

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 2255

A short story that doesn’t overstay it’s welcome. I love the premise of a heist, though for such a ‘important’ operation that the MC made it seemed (it wasn’t actually), I’m surprised he would just pick a seeming random flower thingy to put on his suit + there wasn’t any other security measures in place other than 1 ‘Angel’. It hurts the stakes just a bit, but the focus is on the MEN anyway. Speaking of the Baron, maybe him spilling those spicy drama secrets was too fast (especially the uncle killing and the exiling; unless it’s already public knowledge which it doesn’t seem to be). The dynamic between characters is really refreshing though, it plays a bit on the difference between class, and there was some interesting thing going on between Felicia and MC too. I wish we could’ve seen more from the third member of the heist (sth like coms but idk if they have that tech) but it’s fine. Also some terms like ‘Ghosting’ and the function of the pendant are unclear but it’s probably due to jam constraints.

Presentation wise, I love your art style! The backgrounds and the textbox really fits the setting you want to convey, and the characters are HOT HOT. One thing though, the music err on the side of feeling a bit too whimsical (?) for such a setting so it does take away from the immersion a bit. The writing is good, too.

The massive lighthouse would’ve sufficed on being the theme, but the relationship between the two could also counts as an interpretation of ‘Light in the Dark’ (oh and also the Baron’s… 🤤🤤).

P.S MC IS SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I NEEEEEDDDDD

Rating: 5344

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 5345

I love the style of this one omgg. It’s very nostalgic to me 🤭. That said, the current plot left much to be desired. What was in the story works well of course, but it’s hard to really feel the weight of their words on MC, especially since it’s so early on in the story… That’s about it tbh, there’s not a lot that happens, but I do love what was set up to be explored in the final version, especially with the illusive Vito (we still don’t know what happened to him but I’d assume the worst case scenario -.-). Also idk if it is intentional but please cut down on the Italian lines 😭. Playing through the game was fun, tabbing back and forth to google translate was not (I gave up half way through). At first I thought it was only the rooster that does this as a character quirk, but it’s there in MC’s thoughts and other dialogues too. And I’ll die on this hill when I say giving a character random lines in another language is not a good way to characterize them (Some exclamations, and short terms are fine I suppose but a whole line is when it’s starting to get out of hand ngl). You could just make an Italian version w/ an English translation at that point.

Presentation-wise, I mean…it’s so good??? Hello?? From the custom transition to the vibe it gives, and also the custom speaking sound matching the animal’s cry too. One thing w/ the final screen though, is it a thing that’s relevant in the main game, or is it just a cool way to end the demo? I had to searched through the game’s code to made sure there wasn’t any else I could do cause I thought it was a puzzle somehow. As a sidenote how did you enable that accessibility menu cause I never knew such a thing exists like huh???

The group being named ‘Sunrise Fang’ makes the point about ‘Light’ clear enough, it’s the companionship, especially when MC is stuck in his thoughts about Vito.

P.S THAT SIZE DIFF EXCUSE ME????? 🤭🤭🤭 the impure thoughts are taking over

Rating: 4355

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4354

A melancholic and slightly depressing story at it’s core, though diluted by many other plot points the felt forcibly drove in instead of resolving the conflict. For one, the first scene with the random nerd thoughts (+ the random morbid thoughts) was kind of unnecessary (it felt like spending too much effort to make MC feel unique but with no real relevance on the story). The MC was wallowing in his sadness and melancholy, then instantly turns horny when there’s a hot furry old men that is also a trucker? (…honestly based) But still, I’d hoped the emotions of the MC was handled a bit more clear, since it seems like that switch was jarring. The conversation about God was sudden, perhaps could be a bit better if there was a brief talk beforehand in the shower scene.

Final thing about the plot is MC’s choice to just…keep walking. Well, with all the emotional arcs MC and Cassidy is going through, I fully believed that they’d stay together at the end, but that’s not the case. Maybe MC was still too unsure, perhaps afraid of being dependent. However that (somewhat) invalidates the build up and the change within MC that was shown in the entire story. It reads more like a prologue to a story than the story itself.

I’m not American but I’m pretty sure it isn’t easy to just walk that distance, it felt like maybe MC would just leave Cassidy on wait forever, never calling back, never anything. Since I don’t think he packed enough food…nor even care enough to survive. The final song painted a different picture, but I really still don’t think it has any feasibility at all.

Let’s move on to the presentation. Apparently it’s already been streamed on the FVN server, so you probably have known of the background display error somewhere before the middle of the story. The fonts change helped the text, but not the character names and well…everything else I think. There’s still a lot of accessibility features though, and my favorite was the textbox opacity.

The ending sequence was beautiful with the second lyrical song, but the first one is wayyy worse. I can’t hear the words properly because the singer sounds like he’s trying to scream while having a cold, and the lyrics + the narration still running splits my attention in two (in a bad way). And since I can’t hear, I could barely understand what it was about (except that one part about gay and straight at the end, which probably mirrors the relationship w/ his best friend). Overall, could have integrated that one better in the story

Theme-wise, it felt like MC got some type of hope for the future which would be his ‘Light in the Dark’, but then again with the feasibility thing and MC’s final choice to leave, it does felt rather unfulfilled as a whole.

P.S That comment about the truck engine and MC’s engineering degree really got my hopes up that they’ll just depend on each other in the job in the future, but it’s just bait in the end, kinda wasted opportunity I’m ngl :(

Rating: 2234

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 2333

Really what the hell, cuz this presentation is too good man. I love the UI and all extra care to make the entire thing felt consistent and unique. The audio work is amazing and even all the subtle details are covered (like the radiation noise gets more frequent as the scale goes up)(probably getting the best audio direction I’m ngl). Aside from a few problems said by armoredopossum about the Karsk scene at the end, I also wonder whether having the flashlight system (which seemed like the intended way to read that scene) is necessary at all. Cause if anything, the sprite looked more like they are wearing a visor that provides night vision instead of a flashlight, but maybe it’s just me. Another thing is 2 quick menu UIs, which might be overboard (?), but to be fair, its different vibes for different scenes in the story, though there might’ve been some middle ground to be achieved there.

Speaking of different vibes, for the plot, I felt like I was constantly being pushed between genres, which is loosely connected to the plot. The first scene leans too hard into telling, which imo somewhat hurts the impact of the later scenes (especially with the date scene right behind it, might as well show that first before telling that imo). It does provide some background information about the plot though, so there should be some balance between what information be told and what’s better to show instead (this also applies to the one scene where Luc is allegedly ded). Such important plot point and character development just to be mentioned in passing really hurts the story. I’ll just say all them jokes are a coping mechanism to elevate his feelings for Luc somehow (but if not then MC got over it too fast). The whole story reads like action with romance attached on to it rather than a clever mix of both (it does look like you want to lean more into action than romance but with the word count and all the romance has to appear more to provide backstory).

For the theme, it’s Luc, it could also be the bomb, it could also be that flashlight and the radiation. The darkness lies in the circumstances, which was made abundantly clear (multiple times) in the first scene. I love this idea cause it’s very unique, and can’t wait for the full release.

P.S is that doggo Theo cuz it’s giving Theo. Also we need 100 ratings NOW.

Rating: 4355

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4455

A rather short entry with a beautiful message. However, it didn’t hit as hard as it should. One part is because the entry is too short, and another thing is the rather jarring shift between tones halfway through the story. I love the 2 poems though, it really drives home the core themes of the story. I’d suggest slowing it down though, suddenly entering an 8 months and 2 days timeskip might be too much (perhaps add a scene where Sergio had to go to the hospital or sth like that). Oh, and also it is generally not a good idea to slam the reader with the entire cast at the start of the story (idk if it’s just me but I got them really mixed up for the first few scenes, though the color coding does help somewhat). Perhaps you could let MC do a mental profile, or introduce them slowly by adding scenes before the hangout.

For presentation, I like the vibe of the story, the interaction and characterization is really friend-coded (not the way I have a relationship exactly like Ryan and Manny 😭😭). Maybe it’s just me, but you could consider splitting off the NVL sections better, it wouldn’t hurt to have one or 2 extra screens rather than trying to fill the entire NVL box to full. Some prose are a little difficult to read, and maybe would benefit from some cuts (either to shorten the sentence or split it into 2 textboxes instead).

For the theming, moving on was probably the ‘Light’, and the ‘Dark’ is also clear. It’s present throughout the story in the form of Sergio’s time ticking down (but the payoff wasn’t really there). I expected to feel more…painful at his death, but maybe this was the intention, to move on.

P.S Writing cringe poems is so romantic, wish someone would do that to me ngl :vvv

Rating: 3344

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4344

Very impactful plot, and I guess I sort of knew that was coming with the gif as the first thing I see while downloading it, but it still shook me (in a good way). The plot still felt sorta…contrived? Since the reason he was in that shelter in the first place wasn’t expanded on, but that’s not really the focus of the story anyway. It’s emotional, though maybe too fast for me to really have attachment to the characters. I really love that they are going in the reverse timeline of relevant moments of their past relationship (and also making the start the end of it all too).

For presentation, I love the added sprite of Ned, and the shifts in both bgs and music. Especially with the final bg at the end, it looked to me like the MC sees the world differently because of his depression and letting that go returned the color to the world (also explains the switches in bg between alive and dead Ned). Small nitpick but the main menu bg felt a little inconsistent cuz either you’re curving along the skull or you’re not, half this and half that felt a bit off but its fine.

Theme, MC moving on, in a way finding the ‘Light’ in his circumstance, in his “unhealthy” attachment of Ned. And idk which interpretation does the story was trying to say, but I really hoped that request was from Ned’s soul, to see his lover be less burdened by his death.

P.S I suppose you could say…smell ya never…get it cuz Ned smells. I’ll see myself out.

Rating: 3345

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4345

A rather short entry, felt much more like a scene in a bigger story than a full story itself. I’d love for there to be a bit of more music in the game, especially in the casual scene in the first half. The switching was perhaps a bit jarring, even with the subtle foreshadowing (that one line about the other 3). Otherwise, there wasn’t really another cue as to what was really happening until it actually happens, which made it feel a bit contrived.

Gobaith as a character felt kind of bland, in the sense that everything about him felt so vague, it was never clear what he is (though my assumption is just ‘God’) but I think that fact could really use some clarification (maybe at the final scene w/ Death).

Another thing is how the MC ‘baited’ Famine, especially when in one of the earlier lines (if i remember correctly) it was said that a rich businessmen would prefer the fancier shops down the street. But that ‘bait’ was never expanded on, leaving everything to imagination.

Also a little nitpicky thing, it’s usually not a good idea to slam someone with a wall of text on the first line, but maybe it’s just a me thing.

The theme is clear, with the 4 horsemen wolves and the MC-the antithesis of them. With the genre shift though, the theme only become relevant in the later half (but the entry is really short, so maybe that’s for the better)

P.S I wish I could get off without paying like Tony, speaking as the coffee addict here.

Rating: 3234

A very creative entry that kept me hooked till the end! I love how unique the premise feels. However, I think that it could’ve been executed better.

For one, the backgrounds is single-color, which is fine given the context, but the MC did describe seeing blurry colors so leaving bgs as is feels a little lackluster. I love the art of the main menu though, maybe sth like that for the game also would be good enough.

The textbox was not defined properly horizontally, so some text nearly fell out a few times throughout the story. And you’ve probably heard this, but there is an error halfway in the story, right after hearing the creature (or maybe its just me).

A visual novel without the ‘visual’ is really interesting, but that’d also mean you have to show the circumstances through other means, and the audio work in this one, though decent, didn’t really emphasize anything either. The prose was good though, and I really love the characterization in this one.

P.S As long as you go outside you can turn into a furry?? Damn what a blessing /j/j

Rating: 2235

I really thought I gave enough hints to infer the entire timeline, but maybe shattering it into smaller scenes was too much? Idk.

Actually, in the original first draft there was a planned scene in the postscript where Ian would say something along the lines of “I believe that after death we still get another chance to fulfill our dreams.” But I couldn’t find a natural setting for that type of convo so I just hinted at their irl journey to the beach (to show that Tor’s dream does get fulfilled + the fact that when ur dream is fulfilled you ‘depart’). Andd if you pay attention to every word of Ian’s dream, it’d make more sense (specifically ‘quality time’ and ‘forever’)

The romance was one part of my regrets when submitting this entry. I had accidentally made my story scope too big, and the time + word constraints really hurts the build up and blossoming of their relationship.

I’d say Ian’s arc was the entire time (plus all the previous cycles mentioned in the final ending) that he’d spent here. Seeing how naive his dream is and letting him to his final decision.

For the bgs, I went out of my way to make sure that the scenes in the cycles are dreamy-ish with filters while the scenes irl (lab and the 2 postscripts) are with minimal editing for this exact purpose.

You could say it’s doomed yaoi the way they can’t ever be happy. (but trust they met again in their next life and fall in love with each other again. I said it so it must be canon and I’m not coping 😭😭😭😭😭)

Well in the final cycles (which is where the story is), you don’t really see Tor’s light as much (other than they fell in love again). But yeah, in the first cycles they didn’t lose their memories and enjoyed their quality time :vv (it’s not extra information it’s in the script trust).

In truth, I really should build up to the final ending better, hence the whole Death encounter feeling pretty anticlimactic. I don’t think there’s another result that could’ve came out of that ending, but I definitely could’ve made it more painful :))

And I’m glad you enjoyed the story, I had the error screen idea but since I’m a first timer I was really hesitant to run it cuz idk how renpy reads the code…Could you imaging just running the game and instantly you got hit with the error screen 😰😰. Anyways props to the playtesters (my bros) for testing everything just in case :vv

Quite a long story with an interesting premise to boot. However, there seemed to be a really clear split between the halves of the story (Right where The Hunter suddenly broke his leg specifically). That was a pretty dramatic tone shift, which would be fine if it’s an introduction to a longer story, but even that plot point is quickly and (imo quite anticlimactically) resolved.

The world you built was really interesting, and I especially love the fact that ‘The Forest’ could be considered an entity, sheltering for those poor souls. Would love to know more and deeper into the war also, but alas word count and time constraints held everything back.

Presentation wise, why is some of the bgs so dang bright. I get that the theme is ‘Light in the Dark’ but do you have to include a sun in those bgs, (also it kind of looks like the sun is overlayed on the trees instead of behind them, and Grams house definitely does not need another light source). The rest looks fine though, and I also love the music you picked.

There were some grammatical errors, mainly just the mixing of words.

(as a sidenote, idk if its just me but sometimes the game menu buttons act up. Like I was clicking the ‘Back’ button but it doesn’t let me click multiple times in a row and those button also seems to cut off from the top way more than it is from the bottom. It’s nothing too much, but I felt like I should point that out).

As for the theme, well the plot with the mushrooms and MC freeing them could count as ‘Light in the Dark’, and also the acceptance of their relationship from May.

P.S And my favorite character has no sprites :< (Connor my lil goober)

Rating: 4344

A short story that felt more like a scene in a bigger plot. It felt like we were dropped in the middle of an unfolding story, with no head or tails of what’s actually happening. Everything is vague, especially the threat and the cult, which would’ve been pretty important to build on to instead of just stating that they exist as is.

There seems to be an error every other sentence, which really affected my reading experience (It’s hard to take things seriously if I have to recorrect myself twice every time I read).

Idk if it was mentioned but I don’t even know why Nigel was captured in the first place?

For the presentation, the bgs are ok, there seem to be no music and the placement of our MC’s phone (in the corner right above the textbox) felt a bit too far and also looks off when it is displayed.

The theme is well, literally the escape. And also the MC being a firefly. On the nose, and that’s a good thing.

P.S Literally editing this right now to add a P.S section because I forgor. Why does MC have so much difficulty activating his light? (it felt like he was constipated lol)

Rating: 4123

A very interesting story that got my attention from beginning till end. The switch between acting and irl (except maybe the first time with the NVL), doesn’t feel jarring at all. Perhaps the bit about all that worldbuilding could be placed somewhere earlier though (maybe a seperate scene with the king, perhaps close to moving their kingdom again or sth like that). I love the concept and the idea, and the prose was deeelicous (there’s only like 2 places with a grammatical error and that one Italian line at the end ohhh insert Italian joke here).

Oh, and Basil, for being the ‘Smart’ one it didn’t seem like there’s one usage of that brain in the story (the smart and the brave once acts kind of similar to each other). And the one scene that requires imparting knowledge was fed by the protag of the play instead. Also he died first too (justice for ma boi :sob:).

For presentation, its my personal preference but I’m not exactly a fan of the style (mainly because it clashed with the bg a bit) and also maybe something like a different vibe irl than in acting could also work (but that’s too much drawing to do so it’s fine). The music are ALL BANGERS, where do you find these omll. I especially love the first scene w/ the princess <333.

For the theme, the acting and spotlight, the coming out of the closet from the VN MC, the contrast in coloring between VN MC and Crni could all counts as certain degrees of the ‘Light in the Dark’, its present throughout the story and plays a major role, you absolutely nailed it w/ this part

P.S Can’t think of any witty comments here so I’ll just say that Crni is kinda hot.

P.P.S Also idk if there was any intentions behind it but I like how for the jam you placed the wolf name as Crni even though irl he’s a ram (and there’s 3 other wolves as major characters)

Rating: 5445

Quite confusing and (dare I say) unserious entry. It has somewhat of a plot, it has really funny dialogues and sound effects, and it has Nike’s existence.

After reading it, I’m not sure I fully understand what the author was meant to convey. It seemed that the wolves are based on the four horsemen, but why a bar in the middle of nowhere, with a weird cyan medicine that (presumably) kills, and the guy was the same every night. The writing also was pretty bare bones and has some errors, but nothing too bad.

Presentation wise, I love the vibe but with all those silly ahh sound effects I can’t take it seriously at all (idk if that’s the intention or not). The bgs look pretty, and the sprites looks prettier.

Theme is probably moving on from the “job” whatever that job was cuz i still don’t understand. But it does seem like they were in the ‘Dark’ since the atmosphere was pretty happy after the MC quit.

P.S So since we quit, we can lay our hands on Vik as many times as we want right. Cause the only gun he’ll want to see after I’m done with him is min- gets shot

Rating: 2235

What can I say, it’s cute it’s cool it’s awesome. The plot is simple but fun to read through, and there was some conflict and mystery going on near the start of the VN. I hoped the conflict would be a bit more nuanced tho, cause it seemed to be resolved with like 2 or 3 sentences from Crystal and then Chang’e straight up tells you what’s up (which is fine, but I felt it wasn’t as rewarding).

For the presentation…OH MY GOD THE PRESENTATION THEY’RE SO CUTEEEEE. We all cheered when the married CG came on screen. The bgs are cool, and the sprite are very flexible (they move everywhere and that’s very cool). The music could use some variation, and in some cases, silence would help (mostly at the start of the VN). Some sfx would be cool, like firewords noises and some nyoom from the magic spells.

P.S MC…So small and cuddly <333333 Them wolves must be protected at all costs >:o

Rating: 3444

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 3454

One of the longer entries but with a simple plot (leaving those word count for sex eh?). The story has very uhh (kind of) jarring shifts between comedy and horniness. Well, half of the time the joke is sex and the other half is the realistic animal sprites. There’s not a lot to say about the plot, and the story can basically be summed up into one or two sentences.

For presentation, I was gagged at the main menu background (but if somehow fits cuz in the end Haruki gets no sex scene but is with Yuuichi lol). The music is kind of there, nothing too special and I question the usage of CG in the sex scene with the coach. The longer, more meaty part of the scene is black while the scene before it was the CG. You should proofread your writing in the VN form because there’s more than one time the text went over the quick menu buttons (5 lines) and once where the text literally went off screen (6 lines). There are not many grammatical error that I noticed, but you are missing some commas at the line’s end.

Theme. Yuuichi was unsure of his sexuality (and his kinks?) so he went to find it. Clear ‘Light in the Dark’ theme, present throughout the story.

P.S So…older men, huh.

Rating: 4232

A very cute story, with a bit of pain painted on at the end. The plot itself is cool (I’m really trying not to be bias cuz I stan Moonlight Castle), though felt a little empty if you didn’t read the main story beforehand. The story centered around Patrice x Oliver, and how Patrice still can’t get over Nia. However, the spread of scenes felt really disproportionate. For what seemed like 1/4th of the story, you were talking with Liam at the gym. It seemed to me like the author’s intention is for the reader to get used to how the character’s act, but it felt unnecessary compared to the weight of the other scenes (plus you can introduce Patrice’s personality in the relationship anyways). Liam’s whole existence seemed less like an important/side character but more like being there for continuity (if you’ve read MC you’d know). There clearly wasn’t enough room for the last scene to really settle, and it’s beautiful yes, but hardly stir the amount of emotion the author probably wanted.

There’s a lot of absolutely delicious artwork for this story, and an animation too <333333. Oliver my bbg ilysm. However the split of music is kind of disproportionate, with most tracks being at the end. Thematically, it’s makes sense because it’s the gym’s music, but the scene was long so it affects this too.

I kind of struggle to get the theme for this one, but with a “little” help from the writer himself (ty Keyko) Nia is both the ‘Light’ and the ‘Dark’ for Patrice, she was his love, but also what weighted him back from moving on, what caused him to lose his relationship w/ Oliver. I actually love submissions that has the same thing be ‘Light’ and ‘Dark’ so I really like this one too.

P.S Oliver please appear in Moonlight Castle I’ll wife you up I mean what.

P.P.S The three Dylan mention got me itchin around here, all my homies love Dylan

P.P.P.S Please don’t burn me alive at the stake on Discord

Rating: 4453

A simple, mundane job with some supernatural aspects in the background is a really creative idea and I really enjoyed reading through it. However, the lack of warnings before the genre shift kind of pulls me out of immersion. Like I’m not sayin it should be revealed at the start, but maybe some extra hints could do wonders (It really doesn’t help that MC dumps everything onto Zane as some sort of misdirection). As a result, the genre shift to supernatural felt out of nowhere, more like a means to close the story/close the plot point with Zane rather than something actually inherent in the world.

For the writing, I especially love the dialogue writing, the characterization is really clear and they’re all such goobers I love them <3.

Presentation wise, the VN could really use some bg music to really drive home the tension/emotions. I like what you did with the main menu, though it does feel a bit empty when you have an extra box with nothing but the VN name and version on it. Oh and the textbox felt a lil tight, especially with the name of the speaker so close to the edge. The sprites looks silly in an endearing way, and honestly my favorite part about the VN.

The sense of community in that position should be the ‘Light’ while the ‘Dark’ being the circumstances they’re in before starting work here. It could also refer to the ‘god’. Honestly, the theme only becomes much more relevant in the end but it’s still a good interpretation of the theme regardless.

P.S Laying down on the closet floor is such a MOOD.

P.P.S MC better get paid extra for all that work, he needs it.

Rating: 3435

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4445

A fun read, with very scrumptious scenes at the end. The first two choices was just kind of there though. I mean you’d get the same point across with either choice, and it doesn’t exactly let you know anything new. It’s fine though, many choices or not is a very preference based thing. I still felt that the plot progressed too fast, cuz like not MC fully trusting them right after they were kidnapped (that was one fight scene away from each other).

The sex scene is optional but still, for literally all the other choices, its still kind of too fast but the confines of the jam and all so its not too bad.

Presentation wise I like the music and everything, but sometimes the screen felt too cluttered with sprites (for good reason but I think you could’ve separate it better). The music kind of fits but some tunes didn’t really hit right w/ the vibes of the story.

I mean there’s a light church and a not-so-light church. Also MC saving the wolves from Talrem/The change in MC’s perspective would somewhat count as ‘Light in the Dark’…or maybe the seed magic dispelling the curse wink wink. The theme is there, present throughout the journey but not necessarily well incorporated (again its most likely due to how rushed the plot felt)

P.S So…Talrem… I can fix him. (Why is the villain always so HOTTTT HELPPPPPP) P.P.S You got me all excited at the mention of loincloths and its just boxers and undies (except those twink imps) :(

Rating: 3354

Very interesting story that kept me hooked for the whole time. The plot was interesting (and yayy I guessed the plot twist halfway through. Well…except that the MC didn’t die by the wolf but I digress).

One thing I want to point out about the presentation though, is the use of jumpscares. I mean I knew there would be, but still, using it throughout multiple points in the story felt like a cheap way to get some scares off rather than true horror. The ending sequence was undoubtedly the best part though, and I loved every second of it.

For the music, I really like that one track that was a bit off-tune (?) which really fits the vibe. There is also a good lot of variation in bgs (though I have to squint a bit to realize the women hanging down in the hotel room scene but maybe it’s just me). Oh, and not the random ass line about that woman after MC about to fall asleep, right after the sex scene too, shooked me for a bit.

For the theme, I think it’s pretty clear. There was only one true light source depicted in the game and the darkness is literally just the entire route 19. On a side note though, why is the wolf’s body and soul glowing white? I’m still quite unclear on that point (I’m guessing that means acceptance of himself, or maybe having a purpose fulfilled) but it would seem like there are still things the wolf wanted to do.

P.S It’s giving a mix of that one ARG where the road loops + Leo route from the hit VN Echo.

P.P.S I’d usually lust after the wolf men but uhh….maybe Cody doesn’t sound too bad.

Rating: 3544

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4554

Maybe big back bonkers just isn’t my thing, lmao. But I’d love the writing to be less…blunt I guess.

The furry community accepts furries, so you definitely belong here >.< I just felt it’s kind of funny sausages is the one you picked.

Like I said, the theme is there yes, but it doesn’t feel like it’s something present throughout the journey. Sure, you gave a premise that fits in the beginning sequence, but then it’s nearly irrelevant until the final scene (what I’m saying is maybe make everything more urgent to the threat of the moon to really show its presence).

Big bad wolf gonna whimper in no time if I get my hands on him /j/j

For the ending choices, at earlier on in development it was planned to be to separate routes that you can choose at will, however for the ‘Love’ route, I received comments that everything was too fast for comfort. So I decided that I will lock said route until the second playthrough (So no, it’s just the illusion of choice…unless you somehow got the name of the MC before I revealed it). The postscript was also designed in that ending order to give timely info, so that’s that.

And thank you for playing <3