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(1 edit) (+1)
Spoiler Alert!

A simple, mundane job with some supernatural aspects in the background is a really creative idea and I really enjoyed reading through it. However, the lack of warnings before the genre shift kind of pulls me out of immersion. Like I’m not sayin it should be revealed at the start, but maybe some extra hints could do wonders (It really doesn’t help that MC dumps everything onto Zane as some sort of misdirection). As a result, the genre shift to supernatural felt out of nowhere, more like a means to close the story/close the plot point with Zane rather than something actually inherent in the world.

For the writing, I especially love the dialogue writing, the characterization is really clear and they’re all such goobers I love them <3.

Presentation wise, the VN could really use some bg music to really drive home the tension/emotions. I like what you did with the main menu, though it does feel a bit empty when you have an extra box with nothing but the VN name and version on it. Oh and the textbox felt a lil tight, especially with the name of the speaker so close to the edge. The sprites looks silly in an endearing way, and honestly my favorite part about the VN.

The sense of community in that position should be the ‘Light’ while the ‘Dark’ being the circumstances they’re in before starting work here. It could also refer to the ‘god’. Honestly, the theme only becomes much more relevant in the end but it’s still a good interpretation of the theme regardless.

P.S Laying down on the closet floor is such a MOOD.

P.P.S MC better get paid extra for all that work, he needs it.

Rating: 3435

Edit: Rebalancing of rating to 4445

(+1)

Thanks for the read! Tone shift and pacing seems to be a general problem. I swear I was trying to sign post those elements early on ;.; ! The Zane story needed something to bring it to a nuanced point. Otherwise his seems less redeemed or changed than he actually is. Background music is by far the biggest regret I have. I feel like I have a better handle on it now.


Also yes! COMMUNITY!!! I seeded that aspect as the team was kind of the pseudo anarchist progressive group that took matters into their hands. The transformative nature of community as a light. I tried to have the visuals match the theme too. You only see "daylight" like once or twice?