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A jam submission

earthmoverView game page

An interactive story made in Twine.
Submitted by FennecFu Games (@fennecfu) — 6 days, 17 hours before the deadline
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earthmover's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
How engaging was the story?#63.8333.833
How Artless was the game?#114.1674.167
How good was the game?#143.3893.389

Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

(+1)

Great story. It had a sad-ish nostalgic effect on me leaving me feeling melancholy. It is was a good experience for me.

Developer

Thanks :D glad you enjoyed it!

Submitted(+1)

I really liked this story, it made me think a lot. I like how you described the city as a "heart with no pulse" and you set up a really good contrast between feeling suffocated in a city and longing to be somewhere remote and unknown. I also really liked the contrast between Cat's friends and the quiet mysteriousness of the horse. I thought the ending was really nice too (I mounted the horse) and it makes me wonder if there even was a horse, and if maybe you chose the name "Cat" because at first she felt like a domesticated animal in a big city but at the end ran off into the unknown as a wild horse would. I am very happy I played this :)

Developer(+1)

Thanks for playing! There is a deeper meaning to the story, I'm considering making a video about it. The character names are less meaningful, but you are right to look into names for a hidden meaning. (Hint: look at the name of the city!)

Really glad you liked it and thanks for the feedback!

Submitted(+1)

The writing is done super well and just works perfectly. I'm not sure if you're able to do this, but I think if you removed the undo button on the choices it might make them feel more impactful. For example, at the end of the game, when you have to either kill the horse or mount it, that felt like a really powerful choice that I had to make, until I realized I could just undo and see both endings. But overall, great job.

Developer

Glad you liked the story! Yeah the undo button is built in with twine but there's probably a way to remove it. For the jam I thought it would be convenient for everyone to see different routes easier and the different endings. Thanks for playing!

Submitted(+1)

Writing was really good , loved the hint of ambient sounds.  They really added to the overall feel of the story.

Developer(+1)

Thank you, glad you liked it :D

Submitted(+1)

Cool! Maybe you could make some better background ambience so it loops better, but apart from that I don't have any criticisms.

Developer

Thank you! I'll do a better job at audio next time, but glad you enjoyed it :D

Submitted(+1)

this was amazing! omg the writing is great! the sounds drew me into the story, the FX as well. the decisions all fantastic, this round was your round! i will riot if your not top 3  for this round lol 5 stars

Developer

Haha thank you GhostBit!! Glad you enjoyed the story, I really enjoyed writing it! :D

Submitted(+1)

Beautifully written. This was a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

I really appreciate you including the option to move back a step and select a different option. After I picked my final selection I just had to know what would have happened if I picked differently, and I was fully prepared to zoom through the story to do it again, but thank goodness you include a back option.

The sfx and ambient track are a really nice touch. They fit the aesthetic well and put me in the right mindset for the story. I want to continue and find out what happens next ... that's how I know it's a great story. Well done.

Developer(+1)

Thank you so much! Yeah the benefit of using Twine is being able to go back, although I didn't make the branches differ much since this is a jam game and I want to make it easier for people to see the full story. Glad you enjoyed it!

Submitted(+1)

You have a really good writing style and I enjoyed reading through your story to the end. I can tell a lot of effort went into writing it and I liked how you can make different choices

Developer

Thank you so much :D

Submitted(+1)

I love the story! Always in depth story in your games so thats really good

Developer

Thank you Charcool!

Submitted(+1)

You managed to capture the vibe perfectly, great usage of "art in the UI", all within the limits laid out by Xanderwood, smart! 

Story had some choices to follow, at the start, but kind off faded at the end. Great work on using Twine! And the ending seemed meaningful. How many endings do you have?

Developer(+1)

Thanks spoonsweet :))

Since this is a jam game, the choices lead down paths but converge at the end so it is easier for the player to capture all of the story. The very last choice determines the ending, and it is meaningful as the game is an allegory. I'm tempted to make a devlog with explanation if I find time to do so (though I'm quite busy right now with other work). Glad you enjoyed it :D

Submitted(+1)

This…. was…. fantastic!!

Such an engaging story. I was on the edge of my seat. Incredibly well written.

I even like the ability to go back and explore different choices without having to restart the game.

The only thing I could change is that the background music (which is really good and engaging) doesn’t loop/transition well. There is a small moment where it stops and starts which breaks the flow slightly, but this is a tiny detail… Well done.

Developer

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

I usually don't do the music for my games, but I definitely need to practice on getting the flow right when I do. Glad it sounded good though :)

Submitted(+1)

Yea no complaints with the content of the sound. It fit the mood nicely :)