| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| THEME — How well is the jam theme used? | #14 | 3.299 | 3.389 |
| ART — How good is the art/graphic design? | #17 | 3.515 | 3.611 |
| WRITING — How does this read? does it emanate with horror, humor, drama...? | #21 | 3.407 | 3.500 |
| Overall | #23 | 3.074 | 3.159 |
| FAVORABILITY — how much do you personally like the submission? | #26 | 2.758 | 2.833 |
| UTILITY — Does complexity inspire game prep? Or Is it very "Pick-up-n-Play"? | #27 | 2.866 | 2.944 |
| LAYOUT — How well does the module get across information? | #28 | 2.974 | 3.056 |
| GAME DESIGN — How good is the game balance or concepts there in? | #32 | 2.704 | 2.778 |
Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
(+) Incredibly detailed and immersive map design to give the full lay of the facility
(+) Fun blend of corporate descriptions being overridden by the cold and digital horror of the situation
(+) Very clear structure and objective to help games be run easily and smoothly
A module revolving around a luxury spa and wellness clinic with a secret, though of course something has gone wrong. The module is presented as an in-world brochure, including a great map of the facility, with a bunch of (also in-world) notices and warning messages superimposed. It looks great, but I think it ultimately harms the usability of the module to describe everything in world, even if it’s fun.
The current status of the facility is slightly unclear: it seems like everything is malfunctioning, and it is unclear how long this has been going on, since there is also a table for personnel on shift. I am also missing a good reason for the PCs to go here.
The premise of a therapeutic get away spa going rogue is very strong. I love the idea of using a promotional pamphlet as your module too. But unfortunately I think it obstructs some of the information you're trying to get across.
In the end I'm not sure how to use the module. Right now it reads like a halloween haunted house where you go from room to room and encounter fun monsters.
I'd love to know if I missed some implied details (or even just missed reading something).
I appreciate the feedback! My intended goal for module use is that the players will be in the clinic and at some point it goes into lockdown/doors shut. In order to re-open the doors, they need to get to the Control Room and disable the airlock to then leave.
In the midst of the lockdown, the A.I. running the clinic has uploaded itself to the perfect specimen and is “performing survivability testing”, whether you interpret that to mean for the specimen itself or to evaluate the players.
I figure this location could be used in Prospero’s Dream a few times without triggering the trap if players want a location name for shore leave or if they visit for other reasons. Then at some point, the A.I. triggers the events in the module.
Based on folks’ feedback all this may be too interpretive/free-form, so I plan to either add more concrete details in the form of “handouts” like the terminal entries that explain things further, or figure out how to explain this in the corporate pamphlet without breaking the “promotional pamphlet” feeling. Maybe using some legal jargon.
This sounds great! I think Thursday's suggestion of having a player facing "corporate brochure" and a warden pamphlet for when things go south is such a great way of doing this.
You could even include the shore leave/player facing rules in the pamphlet so it's not just in world stuff. It's actually useful to the Players!
I would detail some advice (or maybe a procedure depending on what the PCs interact with) for deciding when to put the place into lockdown on the Warden pamphlet.
Maybe the AI asks the PCs questions about "what is it like to have a physical body" and other ominous questions each time they visit until it decides to upload itself.
Love the clean lines on the map! A nice break for the eyes, haha!
I favour a "corporate hellscape" flavour in my regular mosh game, so this kind of horror-satire setup would fit in quite easily with minimal prep as my players now expect untrustworthy companies and shoddy businesses. I do agree with comments below that the trifold favours a layout stunt over fleshing out the scenario more...BUT for me personally that's fine as this approach gives such a sense of the atmosphere that I'd feel confident riffing on it as warden.
I think the layout stunt of the pop-ups over the descriptions is cute... but maddening! If this is a scenario I'm going to run, I want more to go off of for these rooms than just their names and a little diagram. There's some really nice horrors in here, but for me, this feels much closer to a handout than something I feel ready to play out at the table.
I appreciate the feedback! There’s certainly a mix of details for the GM and things that can be used as handouts for players in there, without either being clearly defined.
Do you think specific details of what’s included in the rooms, told through the flavor of the “outer” pamphlet from Halcyon be helpful? Also, would more clear-cut “this is shareable as a handout” and “this is for the GM” distinctions clear things up or would this take away the “in-world” effect for you?
Oh I didn’t even consider that, I think that could really work! So like a fully fleshed out pamphlet without popups to share with players in-universe, and then a version for the GM with popups that gives a bit less room-descriptions and keeps the horror (basically what the pamphlet is now).
Either way I love the idea of having a full in-universe pamphlet to hand to players with all the corporate stuff in it. Thanks for the additional feedback!!
Beautiful map. You got me at "It doesn’t really matter what I write here".
I almost deducted a point for no actual threat description as I completely missed the stats on the first read through.
Thank you! All credit to Dunadd from the Mothership Discord 3pp channel there haha. And oop I don’t know if that one was supposed to be visible. I might need to do another check to see what’s covered and what’s not. The meat of the module should be in the popups.
I appreciate the feedback on the final threat as well! I can make that a bit more prevalent both in the stats and maybe in other sections post-Jam
This is so professional. The look, the context, the ideas—it's all fabulous and makes you want to play it through immediately. The concept of creating a booklet in a booklet is just genius. I think that you might make the nature of the monster more straightforward in room 11. I assume that the stats here are for the AI possessed perfect human specimen? but it isn't entirely clear! I love this entry. Well done indeed!
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