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A member registered Nov 07, 2016

Recent community posts

Sounds cool! Can totally understand not wanting (or being able) to work on updates over Christmas. I look forward to giving it another playthrough when the storyline post-teleport is a bit more developed.

Cool, glad to have helped squish a few of those wacky bugs. Thanks for the quick reply; hopefully I will find the time to play the updated version when that comes out.

(Edited 1 time)

(release: 11/05/2017)

I like the idea. The art and music are excellent, and the writing was fairly good.

I couldn't find anything else to do in the currently downloadable build after recruiting Luciana except for fighting random monsters; did I miss something or is that it for now? I see busts of two other girls on the main menu but wasn't able to find or recruit what I think are a kitsune and harpy.

...And, just because this was really bugging me when I first started: Why was Alexis carrying a sword around while writing college applications? Or did it appear in her hand when she teleported? :P

Alexis is missing a menu portrait. So is Luciana.

Sylvia is listed as a Spellcaster, but doesn't know any spells. Is she newly enrolled or something? :P

Luciana's conversation with Alexis if Alexis went to get a student ID before entering the cafe and talking to her is slightly nonsensical -- she acts like they've talked before.

You can sell the student ID card (for 25). It's probably a key item that shouldn't be sellable?

Losing to Sylvia is a game over; why? I mean, you'd never be able to do it by accident... but it's not like she's going to kill you when she's play-fighting... If going to 0 HP means dying, shouldn't the fight end when Alexis drops below 100 HP or something?

I don't seem to take any damage from zombie girls, no matter if they attacked or Dual Attacked. Is their Attack really weak?

The Student ID Card can be used as a combat item. (It doesn't do anything.)

I can run up this wall.

[Edit: Found via yuri game jam 2017, by the way.]

Posted in Bug Reports

You may have already fixed some of these but:

The word "down" briefly appears during the text scroll for one of the leaflets (pictured below), then vanishes, presumably due to word wrap (I guess it's on the 4th line...

The "Main Menu" button on the "thank you for playing" screen doesn't work.

Clicking on the TV again after playing the duel gives you the "find the remote" quest/dialogue again, overriding the "find the leaflet" one.

Finding the Sapphica leaflet does not update your quest display. (Pictured below)

I managed to interact with the TV twice at once. Results below.

...Actually you can interact with it (and probably other objects) even while the text box is still up... (results below)

...with interesting results. Game seems fun, though, looking forward to playing it when it's been expanded on a little.

(version 0.2, Windows)

I was busy when the jam ended and am only just now getting around to playing some of the games from it. :P

I kinda liked Kokoro Tactics. It wasn't massively deep or complex, but it was fun for the ten or twenty minutes it took me to complete it twice (once for each of the branches for the 2nd and 3rd battles). Aesthetically, I think you nailed it, too.

Maize and Millet both seem to be using the same sprite, which doesn't really resemble either of them, but I assume there's no way you didn't notice that.

I found this unfortunately relatable.

Bug: If you lose the first battle because Maize Persuades herself down to 0 Resolve... the game crashes.

Bug: If you right-click while the menu is up, before you've actually made a move that you could cancel, the menu kinda freezes in place until you right-click again.

Bug: If you lose the first battle from an enemy attack, you get the "let's rewind time" message (presumably indicating you should try that battle again), but the game actually goes on to the Millet/Wheat decision.

Bug: Tooltips go off the top of the screen sometimes.

Bug?: I ended up on this screen after "defeating" Rice and clicking through the final (unfinished) cutscene. Shouldn't it go to credits or the main menu or something if it's the end of the game?

Bug?: If you defeat an enemy without moving, you can't move through where they were.

(Edited 2 times)

(1/8/2017 ver)

'Kay, you fixed the new bug, and Hermina is visible again, but she still gets stuck on her way to the treasure chest.

On the subject of the counter bug... A safe temporary fix might be to make freeze/paralyze not affect the counter stat? Didn't read your explanation properly, I think I get it now. I wish I could help more; I have zero experience with RPG Maker's scripting language, but Ruby is pretty similar to Lua, which is a language I'm pretty good with.

Been poking through the Scripts folder in the WoSS folder. If these are actually the scripts you're using (I can't tell), I'm guessing the "counter?" function in [GTBS] Game_Battler-C.rb is very close (within 1 or 2 steps) to the cause of the problem, but... I'd have to probably spend a few more hours poking around to be certain of anything, and even then it'd be hard to test when all I have is the scripts...

Let me give my observations so far, at least, before I forget all this:

  • self.counter?(attacker, preview) returns:
    • 'nil' if counter impossible/fails
    • 'self' if counter possible and succeeds
    • 'cnt' (self's counter stat) if preview is true (more on this later?)
  • 'counter?' is called from three places (result #1 is something else)
  • 'set_attack' (mentioned in the error) is called from 4 places. I'm almost certain the second one is the one crashing, because it's in step 4 of action processing, right after the third call to 'counter?', and all the rest look like actions rather than reactions.
  • So, active_battler.current_action is nil. Why is it nil? Probably because active_battler is paralyzed, since active_battler has been set to the one countering. I don't get how it could even get to there without a successful roll to counter, though, which wouldn't happen with 0 CNT or less...
  • It feels like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle here, even though it might not be the broken piece, because if I follow the trail of the missing current_action it goes to clear_tbs actions and from there to clear_actions (then re-adds a blank action using 'GameAction.initialize(Battler)', which I can't find).
  • This would be so much easier if I had access to the actual RMVX editor with all your stuff in it, so I could fiddle around with weird stats and find exactly what breaks it. :P

That's all assuming I'm even looking at the right script files here... What I'm not getting is how a negative counter % could result in any kind of crash. Oh. It's (probably) not? That explains it.

Finally, a couple of suggestions, though I can't test either of them myself:

EITHER 1) There's a chance the following (highlighted) addition might be a perfect fix, disabling counters if the one being hit is paralyzed:

OR 2) Comment out the highlighted line in [GTBS] Process Action.rb (the line adds successful counters to an array to be processed) until you find a proper fix, by adding a # to the start of the line. It will probably disable all countering, but as far as I know you're not using it anyway. If it doesn't help, you can always change it back. :V

If you'd rather leave this for now and work on something else, I absolutely understand and I'll try not to fixate on it any more. Good luck!

(If you want to hold an extended conversation on this, 'patch notes and itch.io comments' probably isn't the ideal way, since it's pure luck whether it takes me minutes or days to notice an update - I don't seem to be getting email alerts any more, and I feel like the blind leading the blind right now).

(Edited 2 times)

(1/7/2017 ver)

Got a crash for you this time. Looks like a null-pointer. It happens whenever I get hit by anything, but not when I'm the one attacking.

This was definitely not in the last version. I would have noticed.

Here's the way I found it first: On Turn 1 in the treasure room, do this (doesn't matter who you move, or even what you get hit by, but the golems rarely use their ranged attack so going here is more reliable).

More feedback if/when I manage to beat the treasure room without getting hit.

Edit: I forgot to comment on this change last time... I didn't even know the level cap was that high. Neat. Also: Owie.

Edit 2: I beat the treasure room. Still stuck here, but now the golems and Hermina are both invisible.

(Edited 3 times)

I'm most of the way through Chapter 4 now. I'll edit this comment when I finish. Never mind, can't finish in this version unless I use the cutscene skip.

I'm reaching the point where I can't even check the earlier chapters for typos any more, because I'm seeing what I expect to see instead of what's actually there (same reason proofreading your own work is hard).

(Aww, Arthur keeps getting mistaken for- wait, Arthur IS male? Apparently my bishounen detector is on the fritz. Did I call him a her already? I probably did... How did I not notice the uniform difference?)

Not really a bug, but Dark Wrath always does 0 damage in the first Impress fight (since she's not damaged), which is annoying because the Impress loves to cast it and the only way to end the fight is to lose everyone. Is it possible to make her only cast it if she's actually hurt?

It's not really clear which side you're supposed to be on in Underground Tunnel. Just having someone say something about protecting Hermina would help; I wasn't sure until I tried to attack her group and realized I couldn't.

This is a harem anime plot and I'm not okay with that. :P


  • After blowing everyone off and heading for the chest, Hermina gets stuck on a golem, preventing any further progression unless you skipped the cutscene.
    • I'm going to wait for an update rather than skipping ahead.
  • Minor tint bug in chapter 3:
    • Go upstairs, take the Daughters of Venus magazine. This will remove the red tint for the flash forward, and send you back downstairs without restoring the tint.
  • Game-state bug, tested in Chapter 3 (after DQC F1):
    • Go upstairs and activate the pile of rocks blocking the stairs up. Bianca and Amara will appear in their dorm room, even if they're in your party. Go back downstairs, and Aika will start giving her weapon shop tour again, but Shizuka will get stuck on a wall and the game will hang when she tries to go to the armor shop. Screenshot.
  • Update on that flash slash crash thing from a few posts back: attacking paralyzed enemies (Thunder Roulette causes paralysis sometimes) causes a crash with this message. Only physical attacks trigger it, not magic. Annoyingly, the delinquents in the secret tunnel just triggered it for me...
  • Unless you skip the cutscene at the end of Chapter 3, the 'evil hideout' theme will keep playing during the opening cutscene of Chapter 4.
  • Losing in DQC F3 returns you to the hub with 1 HP on all characters instead of game overing, even when replaying.
  • Arthur has no magic tab.
  • Arthur's Aura of Health implies it's a Splash-like AoE, but it's actually a more like Kiss Boo-Boos.
  • Girls are still visible after the end of the Chapter 4 start-cutscene, but not interactive.

Chapter 4 typos:

Chapter 3 typos:

Chapter 2 typos:

Humorous side note: Arthur's weapon sucks and the shop doesn't sell swords, so I gave him hellhound claws. And a matching outfit.

Happy New Year! Thanks for the update.

The assignment I tested (schoolghouls) seemed to work OK, and I have no real desire to test all the rest one at a time.


  • Chapter 4 is always open
  • Nurse still crashes the game (see the bug two comments down)
  • The Chapter 2 end cutscene is bugged; it loops back from "they had detention" to this line over and over (though with different people visible), rather than starting Chapter 3.
  • And skipping it still goes to 'chapter 2: end' followed by the demo end credits, as mentioned in the comment below.
  • On my old Chapter 3 save from just before the Impress, Chapter 3 isn't unlocked, (but Chapter 4 is). Hard to tell if this is just because it's a save file from an old version or if it would still happen if I finished Chapter 2, because I can't get to chapter 3 via chapter 2.
  • Xing Mei's formal clothes + no accessory outfit is a missing sprite.
All of that weirdness is making it hard to know if Chapter 4 is working properly, since the only way I can get into it is by loading a Chapter 3 save and jumping right into the first area. I'll wait a little while to see if you can fix some of it, since I'd like to see it in the right order...
  • Miyuki's Cosplay Guide has no listed price.
  • Cosplay guide:
    • Pirat: "You can pretend to be a thieving little and": missing word after little (rat?)
    • Pirat: "did not in any way coarce:" word is spelled coerce
    • Swimming Dead: "bloody bondages": Is this a typo?
    • Jumping Dead: "How cheering on your team": how about
Miyuki's unique outfits are really neat. Is she the secret 9th heroine?

I just finished chapter 2 in the new (smaller events update) version.

It would be nice if the black background for the first half of the underground pool cutscene were replaced with an actual visible cutscene, even though I can't tell if it's deliberate or not. Perhaps you could fade to black from the conversation at the entrance and fade in again where it currently fades in?

Found these typos along the way, I think most of them were ones I missed the first time.

The current version sends you to the credits then returns you to the title after completing chapter 2, even though chapter 3 works okay...

The new events are cute! :3 And I see you found an event to write that doesn't require any costume design... ehehe~



Freezer is still really hard, Roof is still pretty hard, and I'm on Mausoleum now, which also seems really hard (running dead moving 8 tiles and hitting for 20, with 100% life steal). That probably means I'm just under-leveled. Hmm.

(Edited 5 times)

Two missing images fixed, one new missing image (Misty OoO) in Kumako's conversation found.

Bianca and Amara, if they weren't before, are now visible from the start of the game. (I don't know if they're supposed to be. They don't have anything to say, but they do disappear when they leave to investigate the portal.) I'm getting warped back to the teleporter every time I try to go outside, so I'll take the hint there. :P

Don't worry about the book targeting... just make a note of it and move on. I know what phantom bugs can be like. At least it's harmless and easy to reproduce.

Haven't been to every map, but the evening light change seems to work.

I should probably stop chivvying you and let you work on the game in peace for a while; I just noticed an update on the submission feed and had to poke around a bit. Hopefully by the next major update I'll have caught up on a save which doesn't still have a bunch of blank null-items from the costume change...

EDIT: Whoops! I just realized the girl I was trying to talk to outside is probably the cutscene version of Aika. And she's now invisible during the intro.

EDIT 2: And just because this is bugging me now I know about it, not because it's ruining my gameplay:

  • Armor shopkeeper intro and ingame
  • General shopkeeper intro during a couple of lines (her first line in the intro, she uses ingame portrait...) and ingame
  • Grimoire shopkeeper intro and ingame
  • Teleporter intro and mere seconds later. Teach me, teleporter-sensei! I want to change my gear in combat!
(Edited 1 time)

That was beautiful and heartwarming and wonderful. Thank you. I don't know how I overlooked this on my first pass over the list of games in the jam, but I'm glad I found it.

I really enjoy yuri games with these kinds of... carefree but serious low fantasy? settings, and seeing stories like this from perspectives other than the obvious RPG heroine's is nice. I don't even mind that a quarter of the game is probably Martha sharing her perspective on the daily realities of adventuring, because it was interesting.

I think criticizing it based on its length or linearity would be really a bit unfair. It was as long as it needed to be to tell the story it was trying to tell. It didn't drag on (though I'm sure I would have still enjoyed it a lot if it was twice the length), and it didn't feel like it was rushing too fast.

I'm fine with it being a kinetic novel, too - it means I don't have to feel regret over choices not made, and within the scope of this story, I don't think anything I could have chosen to do would have made the ending any more perfect.

An epilogue about what they did next might have been nice... but honestly, that was such a perfect note to end on, I can't really complain too much...

There was one point when I felt the music choice was slightly strange: the cheerful market music carries on while Ada's talking about not even knowing her age. Admittedly, changing it might break the flow of the scene... The music otherwise fits pretty perfectly.

I'm going to be following you, because I really want to see what else you make, if it's anything like this. I hope to see many more yuri games from you in the future.

I really liked this. The music is quite beautiful and fits the tone of the game well, the art is gorgeous (the backgrounds remind me a little of Odin Sphere, which I haven't really played but was very impressed with the background art of when I saw it), and the writing is evocative and polished.

The starting point was a little confusing the first time. I didn't even know what Cassidy was exasperated by or tired with, when I was making the choice...

The choices in the demo didn't feel that significant (a lot of them being what Cassidy thinks while doing the same thing), the first time playing through, but I did notice one of the earlier choices actually removing an option from a later choice, so I'm guessing the full game may have more significant ones. I wouldn't really mind playing what amounts to a kinetic novel that's yuri and looks this pretty, either, though.

Either way, I'm excited to play the full game. I still have lots of questions, and the demo mostly just raised more.

P.S. The in-game link to this itch.io page during the demo ending doesn't work, sending you to "https//l2.itch.io/wv" (missing a colon). Also, I think "Elowen's" here should be "Cassidy's"? Still a stunning level of polish, though.

(Version: 0.3)

(Edited 1 time)

Wow, you seriously buffed the Demon Queen, too, it seems? I don't think I can beat her any more, not when every one of her skills does 60-100+ damage. Dark Wrath normally being kinda weak was the only way I was able to win before.

EDIT: Can I just say how awesome it is to have things fixed this quickly? All the stuff in the grimoire shop works now, which is wonderful.


  • Obscure but annoying: Talking to Misty's teddy bear (Kumako?) in the grimoire shop area crashes the game (missing image).
  • Reading Mahoko's journal also crashes the game. Awesome easter egg though.
  • There seems to be a minor targeting bug with using items in the hub (or maybe the support grimoire), but it doesn't completely stop you from using items how you want to, it's just inconvenient. I don't know how hard it is to fix -- depends if it's in the interface or your event. If it's not easy to fix, don't worry about it.
    1. Buy two support grimoires.
    2. Use a support grimoire on Shizuka.
    3. [It should work - Shizuka will learn Enhance Weapon].
    4. Use a support grimoire on Mei.
    5. [If the bug is present, Shizuka will say "I've already learned a spell from this grimoire." as if you selected her again.]
    6. Use a support grimoire on Mei.
    7. [This time, Mei will learn Enhance Armor (which made me think it was my mistake the first few times). Oddly enough, while this bug does happen consistently after saving and reloading, if you use it on, say, Amara instead of Mei, she will learn the skill - so it's not as simple as 'it always uses the item on whoever you picked last time'.]

    And now for a round of "Bug or Feature?":

    • Is the omnipresent evening light (I assume) / hellfire glow of Chapter 3 supposed to apply to every map you go to, including ones like the underground lake, mausoleum and freezer? You could probably apply it when you arrive back at the hub (check current chapter) or enter a Chapter 3 area and remove it when you teleport somewhere if you wanted to, but if it's deliberate then cool.
    • Bianca and Amara are present in their dorm room during parts of Chapter 3 while they're in your party, but have nothing to say when talked to.
    • These stairs don't go anywhere. You could have Aika say something and Shizuka move away if there's just no reason to go there.
    • This girl doesn't say anything when you talk to her.

    (on 12/16/2016 updated version)

    A few new bugs/typos with the support grimoire, discovered because of the previous fix:

    • Using a Support grimoire on Mei teaches Mei's support skill... to Haun, with this message (yes, she does actually learn it).
    • Using a Support grimoire on Amara [default formation] teaches Bianca's support skill to Bianca. Even if she already has it.
      • Here's the weird part: If you move Amara up to where Aika would normally be in the formation, using a grimoire on Amara teaches Mei's skill to Haun instead, like the first bug.
    • Using a second Support grimoire on Bianca [default formation] when she already has her skill gives this message, which is almost right.
      • But, as with the second bug -- Bianca in the second formation position teaches Mei's skill to Haun instead, like the first bug.
    • The support spells I tried (Enhance Armor, Enhance Swiftness) say they target an ally, but can only target the user's square, making them not really any better than the basic self-buffs (Please Don't Hurt Me! and Skirt Chaser).

    The level of weirdness around Mei, Amara and Bianca is making it hard to test if anything else is wrong with the grimoire. It works fine for Shizuka, Aika and Haun, though.

    While I'm at it, I just noticed this: Hellhound ears and demon wings don't let you use the associated monster weapons (claws and butter knife/pitchfork, respectively). I didn't even try before; I've never felt the need to equip monster weapons.

    No more loot from the queen? That's fine... probably for the best. The little powergamer corner of me is a bit disappointed about losing the crown, but it's only an accessory, anyhow - it's not like stealing the weapons from the fights against Etna and Laharl that are supposed to be unwinnable in Disgaea 2, where you could get through the rest of the normal game just by protecting whoever you give them to.

    Err, that was a tangent. Oops.

    (Edited 2 times)

    This post intentionally split due to length limit (2/2). Here's the typos from the chapter 3 completion update.

    EDIT: Fixed missing link.


    • C1, hub before Freezer: "If I'm correct, we going to need some protection from the cold.": we're
    • C3, before Locker Room: "Show Cutsccene?"
    • C3: same: "The major difference the hexagram's color.": difference is
    • C3, same: "That's awefully conveniently.": awfully convenient
    • C3, after Locker Room: "Please wait here while I call gather reinforcements."
    • C3, same: Wrong portrait.
    • C3, same: "so that Mei will make a Vermillion Bird Sandwhich!"
    • C3, same (Bianca and Amara): "but at least I'm better than at them". (Wrapping, or missing name?)
    • C3, same: "Even if we did, many sports require actual teams are": Maybe 'and' before 'are'?
    • C3, DQC F1: "Play cut scene?": space.
    • C3, same: "One of use will predict it's result": us, and no apostrophe in the possessive
    • C3: same: "That seems awefully too random": awfully, and I think you only need 'awfully' or 'too'.
    • C3, same: "Does any one": space (optional).
    • C3, same: "should decided things"
    • C3, same: "there's a single game in the West": I believe you mean 'similar'?
    • C3, same: "people to win a round goes right while the rest goes left.": go (people is plural).
    • C3, same: "until they are only three": there, though I think 'they' might not be that wrong
    • C3, same: "Jupitarian": I don't know if this is wrong or not. The planet is spelled "Jupiter", but...
    • C3, same: "Lunarabbitit attacks"
      • (Well, that got very Touhou-y really fast. :P )
    • C3, same: This line needs Shizuka's name in it since Amara was previously talking to Mei. Maybe instead of 'you', or maybe at the start or end.
    • C3, same: "covete the mating rituals": covet
    • C3, same: "I asume that is considered": assume
      • (You know what? Amara has me convinced. I don't think her being from Jupiter is that strange in a setting like this.)
    • C3, same: "At least she makes up her delusions with": makes up for
      • (Wait, fingers? I thought Amara said... oh, right.)
    • C3, same: "At least I'm not flirting with every girl she sees": I think, since this is a hypothetical, that should be 'I see'?
    • C3, same: Can't tell if this is deliberate or you didn't finish typing. I think it needs a '-', '--', '...' or something?
    • C3, same: "a lose like me": Line wraps, so the R is hidden. Or it's an actual typo.
    • C3, same: "It sounds more enemies": sounds like
    • "Hellbait: A succubus that petends".
      • I see what you did there.
    • C3, after the fight: "Play cut scene?": space
    • C3, DQC F2: "Play Cutscene": No ?, capital C.
    • C3, same: "intruders get pass us, her majesty will quite upset": past, will be
    • C3, same: "Shizuke:"
    • C3, after DQC F2: "Play cut scene?": space
    • C3, same: "deal the big bad": deal with
    • C3, same: "It's only bee one week": been
      • Oh dear. I guess that should have been an obvious setup.
    • Unless it's her name, Impress should be Empress. I'm dumb. That's a pun. Unannounced, but a pun.
    • C3, after DQC F3: "Of all the teahcers who come to our rescue, it has to be": teachers, to, had?
    • C3, same: "by Devil Queen's the horrid": 'by the Devil Queen's horrid'?
    • C3, same: "I felt nothing pity": nothing but pity
    • C3, same: "how reckless and stupid what you did?": did was
    • C3, same: "what we should do these girls": do to
    • C3, same: "If you excuse me": you'll
    • C3, same: "Even we aren't trying to": even though (or when)
    • C3, same: Some commas in the middle of those 0s might be helpful. Just, you know, to save me having to use my mouse to count them.
    • C3, same: "Staring with next month's All Hollow's Evening": Starting. Also, I think the real life festival is "all hallow's eve", but you probably knew that.
    • Bestiary:
      • Pirat: "When none are found, it isn't unheard of them to": of for them?
      • Pirat: Even apart from the 'aun' typo, this page is confusing me. They're a host of untold numbers (a massive army)? The phrasing is tripping me up.
      • Pirat: "lead by a single powerful leader": led, not lead.
      • Pirat: "canabalizes": It's spelled cannibalizes.
      • Catfish: That's not a catfish.
      • Catfish: The wording on the last page is a bit strange (especially the 'from').
      • Hellhound: "Infernal Gaurdians"
      • Hellhound: "Many a witch have been severely burned": This is actually a bit obscure, but I think 'many a witch' actually counts as singular, so 'have' should be 'has'. You can also have 'many witches have'.
      • Hellhound: "Though not nearly as severe": severely?
      • Hellhound: "but prefers raw meat": prefer
      • Hellhound: "will not be raw the time": by the time
      • Hellhound: "locations such tundras": such as
      • Hellhound: "Anyone should simply undertake": This is entirely valid and correct, but "undertake lightly" might be better.
      • Schoolghoul: "Dieng untimely and raised": Dying, and probably 'deaths' after 'untimely', which makes the sentence awkward... how about "Raised from the dead with dark magic after dying untimely deaths"? Does that still fit on the page?
      • Schoolghoul: "And the body, becomes": their, and I don't think you need that comma.
      • Schoolghoul: "their becomes": their body becomes
      • Schoolghoul: "Why would a witch": 'why a witch would', maybe?
      • Schoolghoul: "Any living creature that crosses it's path": Remove apostrophe
      • Schoolghoul: "an inate hatred": innate
      • Schoolghoul: "I would wander": wonder
      • Running Dead: "enables them to tireless chase": tirelessly
      • Running Dead: "had made the mistake to run from them": 'has made the mistake of running from them'?
      • Running Dead: "To what reasoning": by?
      • Running Dead: "creature such horrid beings": create
      • Swimming Dead: No, I didn't miss this entry. It just doesn't have any typos that I can see.
      • Jumping Dead: "necramancers seem hellbent of driven all to extinction.": necromancers, on, driving.
      • Jumping Dead: "could out pace its prey": outpace can be one word
      • Jumping Dead: "could adapt the terrain their advantage": to their
      • Jumping Dead: "adapts to their terrain": It feels to me like that should be either 'her' or 'adapt'. but since the singular is 'jumping dead', the plural is 'jumping dead' and the collective is 'jumping dead', I'm a little uncertain.
      • Dark Butler: Title page says Darl Butler.
      • Dark Butler: "rarely high ranking demon society, making their subservant": in demon society, subservient
      • Yuki Musume: "Itt's currently unknown"
      • Yuki Musume: "more mischeavious and than malicious": mischievous, and you missed a word after 'and' (or you can just remove 'and')
      • Yuki Musume: "Unintentionally, they": might sound better with a 'however': 'unintentionally, however, they'?
    (Edited 2 times)

    This post intentionally split due to length limit (1/2). Typos to follow. Chapter 3 completion update:

    EDIT: Clarified. Also I just now noticed that you fixed the victory music. Nice!

    I managed to beat Chapter 1 without repeating a level. The freezer battle was still tough, but not actually as tough as the Underground Lake, where Aika survived on 1 HP thanks to a lucky miss... There's definitely no impossible level, but I still think the lake and freezer are a bit of a difficulty spike.

    I then reloaded my Chapter 3 saves and started playing around. The new bronze star reward is really neat.

    Random thought: Bianca's Cryostasis could probably cure Burn. Doesn't, though.

    Amara's second tier weapon, Bright Saber, has less attack and magic attack (but more AGI) than her basic Light Blade? Bianca's purchasable Diamond Sceptre is cheaper and weaker than the Queen's Sceptre, too... don't know if that was intentional.

    Lots of fun references in this chapter (Etna, Kaguya). And I had my "nooo, bad idea" moment.

    Same thing happens if you beat the Demon Queen as if you lose? Aww. She got me with the one shot kill dark spell the first time, but I beat her the second time (killed her before she could use it, but not before some people got impaled). Can't wait to see the stats on those items in Chapter 4...

    That said, could you consider changing her drops so the unique ones (spear, crown) are either 100% or 0%? Otherwise I'm going to feel compelled to save and reload until I get them.


    • The support grimoire has the wrong script assigned. It consumes a healing grimoire and tries to teach a healing spell.
    • Amara can learn Mysterious Medicine from the healing grimoire multiple times.
    • Attack spell scrolls can only target allies, instead of only enemies. They do work, though I think some most of them might be casting the wrong spells (since they all use the pillar of flames animation, at least)?
    • Chapter 2 does not seem to appear in the teleporter menu after completing Chapter 1.
    • You can't escape from most bestiary categories (for example, the fey section). It needs either a back option in the sub-menu or a way to cancel - cancel currently selects the second submenu option, where present, which is not helpful when that's, say, the catfish entry. You can escape from the demon category, but it just leaves you stuck on the bestiary picture the same way the teleporter menu used to leave you stuck on the tower picture, and you can cancel out of the (demons, fey, undead, beasts) menu without problems.
    • If it's something you can change (maybe have it target all allies?), Sakura's Guide to Monsters probably doesn't need the player to choose an ally to use it on, since it doesn't matter who's reading it.
    • Bianca doesn't have a magic tab in the skills menu, only in combat.
    • Bianca, according to the text, learns Amara's Mysterious Medicine grimoire-spell from healing grimoires (even though she already has Cryostasis). She doesn't get anything, though?
      • My mistake, was seeing the second bug on this list and not paying enough attention.
    • Are body warmers supposed to be in the item shop? I have one because I imported my chapter 2 save with a crafting book, but I can't buy them.
    • I formed up into a block and used Flash Slash on the Demon Queen after paralyzing her with Thunder Roulette and the game crashed. Looks like a null-reference...?

    Like the plot and setting, the bestiary is... surprisingly dark, really. Odd when the demons are the nice monsters. And it seems like Sakura particularly dislikes (disliked?) necromancers for some reason.

    P.S. Please add a save point at the end of chapter 3, so I have something to load for the next version? Even though I'm planning to use the save from chapter 1 when you fix the teleporter bug in chapter 2, not the save from chapter 3. :P

    I was kinda hoping something special would happen when I kept going south, pestering people, and rummaging through the trash, not just Cyrille complaining. Oh well... I suppose the few extra lines for going south that I completely missed the first time were reward enough. :P

    Game looks interesting, anyway. I'll keep an eye out.

    (Edited 1 time)

    (After update 3)

    Cool! I'm not going to do another whole play-through right now, but I tried out the new outfit system for a bit.

    Hooray, I can finally tell what an item is doing for me! No complaints here.

    I see the monsters have their own classes now, which is neat.

    More important than any of this feedback: Have fun! If you'd rather write another chapter than tweak monster stats, go ahead and write the chapter.

    I started having some pretty weird issues when I reloaded my save from the end of Chapter 2 so I ended up starting a new save.

    New(?) actual bugs:

    • Cancelling out of the teleporter's (St. Sayuri, Vess Cemetary) menu leaves the tower picture up.
    • I think the map after the locker room re-locks after being cleared, but I don't have a save in the right place to verify this.
    • I traded in the bronze star, but I don't think I got the item. Work in progress?
    • Shizuka is invisible in the hub level, if you skip the first cutscene of Chapter 3 (at least when loading an old save).
    • Hellhounds aren't immune to the terrain effect of hot rocks, so you could in theory just hang back having everyone kiss each other (...which sounded less weird in my head) and wait for them to run out of health. If nothing else, you could just give them 10% natural BDY regen to balance it out...
    • Aika's formal clothing portrait is a yuki musume costume?...
    • The following skills can be used out of combat, while other similar ones can't:
      • Bujin's Blessing
      • Flash Slash (no effect)
      • Please Don't Hurt Me!
    • Fliers can move through the wall here and outside the map, which doesn't break anything but is silly:

    I have lots of items I don't remember ever earning (gems and stuff - probably just things with the same item number as the removed cosplay items).

    New outfit system comments:

    I like the bonuses outfits and outfit accessories give now. They used to make fights easier; now they make them more complex, but still easier if you're smart. I feel a bit silly cosplaying as a pirat, because it means I have waterwalk twice when I could have regeneration, flight or +1 move. Which brings me to the negative: the way outfits work now is cool from a RPG point of view (you can freely mix and match, and it makes sense that, well, swimsuit+pirat ears=pirat swimsuit), but it feels a little bit strange from a dress-up point of view (perhaps it's the fact that some accessories don't have any effect on some base outfits, and there's no real bonus for picking a combination that makes sense or creates a specific outfit). I'm not saying you should change it back, just... it feels weird, where the old system was immediately intuitive and always had visible results.

    (Edit: After playing a bit more with it, it's not that weird, just takes some getting used to. And the lack of outfit stat power creep DOES mean more outfit variety, so I still like that part...)

    It confused me for a while that equipping a monster's outfit accessory lets you use weapons as if you were that monster, and I actually thought it was a bug for a bit, but I get it now. Seeing the relative stats on meteor hammers made me wince though. Pompoms are better than the steel one.

    Obligatory subjective balance comments:

    Enemies, at least the chapter 1 ones, are probably a bit too strong now, maybe as a result of their stats being the same (increased base stats) while the heroes are weaker (no primary stat bonuses from outfits). Aika took 21 damage from a kitchen pirat backstab, and 24 from an underground lake pirat backstab (both being at least her max health at the time). Thunder gems (x2 damage dealt) and pirat ears (50% less damage taken) do a lot to balance this out in the case of catfish (actually, Shizuka can deal 90 damage when backstabbing catfish. At level 2. On a non-critical. Beautiful), but there's no physical gem or accessory to protect me from pirats and no way to quickly kill them (they have good DEF and gems don't seem to apply to magical attacks, so you can't exploit their lightning weakness without hitting their physical strength. Where's Amara when you need her?). And yuki musume are really powerful now, because you can't buy scarves any more and the ice gem (the only way to reduce the damage you're taking) also reduces the damage you deal. Which is already not very much, because their DEF and MDF are awesome. I'm getting hit for 10-15 (20-30 without an ice gem) and hitting for 4 (Aika with ice gem)-10 (Shizuka with talisman) (or 20 on a backstab with Shizuka's talisman equipped, but that's not easy to make happen) Can't really comment on the balance past that, because that's as far as I managed to get on my new save, suffering repeated crushing defeats in the freezer, but I imagine it's similar.

    I could deal with it being hard in chapter 3, but this early on it's a problem because there's no extra characters or equipment upgrades to provide room for error.

    (Edit: I'm not complaining, because these numbers are okay, just curious: the difference between backstab damage and normal damage seems really huge sometimes. Is it based on speed/agility or something? Does it act as a defense divisor? On my old save file, demon butlers do 0 front damage to Shizuka, and ~15 backstab damage. Shizuka has 59 health and 43 DEF.)

    Adding or removing an outfit accessory (upper clothing slot) doesn't reset the displayed outfit. For example:

    1. Open the menu, equip a scarf, then equip casual clothes.
    2. Close the menu, then reopen the menu.
    3. Whoever you equipped is now wearing a yuki musume cosplay.
    4. Unequip the scarf.
    5. Close the menu, reopen the menu.
    6. Observe that she's still dressed as a yuki musume.
    7. Equip casual clothes (yes, I know she's already wearing them, but humor me).
    8. Close the menu, open the menu.
    9. She's now wearing her casual clothes.

    I think this is only on my imported (11/28/2016) save, and it's not happening even there now...

    P.S. I actually really like the casual outfits without an accessory - don't think I ever wore them before.

    I overdid it and hit the comment length limit of 10240 chars...

    I made it to the end of Chapter 2! That was really fun! The game feels less stressful, now that I can freely hop back and forth between levels, and more tactical now that I have four girls to manage in combat. Also: Wow. I just now realized, thanks to the underground pool conversation, that the wing in the top left of Aika's portrait represents flying and not a hair accessory. I feel so dumb now. The heart really is an accessory, right?...

    I assumed "President" was the student council president. I guess not. The plot thickens.

    Noting this just in case it was accidental, though I'm guessing it wasn't: Status effect curing items can only be used on the user.

    I'm going to come back to this in a little while, when chapter 3 is out, but if you want to ask me anything I think you can reply to this comment; it emailed me the first time, though I didn't get an email for the game update.

    Bugs (nothing game breaking in chapter 2):

    • Tall Girl (NPC) has very different (weaker, despite being 2 levels higher. Not updated since an older version?) stats from Xing Mei. Weaker than the individual enemies even. And her class is Slacker (like all NPCs?) instead of Giant.
    • Everyone except Shizuka is invisible during the scene after the Vess Cemetery Underground Pool fight.
    • I think this is a sRPG quirk, but: Displayed current-terrain carries over to the start of the next battle. That's not water.
    • Minor obstacle/not-obstacle issue in the lab. Shizuka can climb on tables too, but only if there are bottles on them.
    • The undead cosplay outfits don't have menu backgrounds, aside from a grey gradient.
    • The Jumping Dead Cosplay book makes Swimming Dead cosplay outfits. It even says so on the crafting confirmation screen.
    • All the costume recipe books, even the one for Chapter 3, are available at the start of Chapter 2.
    • Did you leave access to chapter 3 enabled in this version on purpose?
    • I ran into this while leaving the book shop in Chapter 3, after the locker room. I believe that's the formal clothes (drop, not cosplay) portrait for Mei. I assume you're just still working on this area, so I think I'll wait until you've playtested a bit further ahead to play any more. :P
    • Some of the chapter 3 weapons are cheaper than the chapter 2 ones, but I assume you just didn't get to that yet.

    Suggestions (some of these are probably kinda vague and hard, though I haven't played with RPG Maker enough to know for sure):

    • Rename 'My First Spell' to 'My First Earth Spell', if it doesn't lose the comedic impact?
    • If you don't feel strongly about it, consider sorting teleport destinations by chapter rather than location. The locker room is a lot harder than the tower, not that replaying previous levels is a major focus of this game. If you do prefer by-location - and I'm not really sure either way myself - perhaps the list could indicate map level and/or whether it's newly unlocked?
    • I was kinda hoping that the bronze star was an accessory or a crafting material or something... I had a lot of HRT by the time I got it. 50 HRT would be a pretty good amount in Chapter 1, but...
    • I'd really like some way to know how an item affects my resistances without having to craft and equip it. I didn't even realize the undead cosplay outfits gave you light weakness and... stuff, because it only shows how they affect the main 6 stats. Maybe this is a job for a walkthrough written when the game is complete, though, rather than spending weeks tinkering with the interface.
    • I can puzzle it out, but it would be good if you could change the displayed names of all the stats (on bars and the status screen) to the same ones you're using in skill and item descriptions. Or vice versa. Or create a short manual. Or... something. It's not urgent. It'd just be nice.
      • BDY: HP
      • MND: MP
      • WPN: ATK
      • ARM: DEF
      • SWF: AGI?
      • HTR: MAT, apparently (I assumed it was LUK)
    • Someone could warn the party that undead monsters are sometimes poisonous, though I demonstrated an extreme lack of genre-savvy-iness by not considering that myself the first time, considering the number of RPGs I've played.
    • HRT economy stuff: Healing is really expensive, but I have a ton of money. It would be nice if the cost of healing large amounts of HP was a bit cheaper? I just decided to go replay the kitchens so I could use healing magic, reducing the cost of a nurse's office visit from 90 HRT to 45 thanks to Aika and Mei. On the other hand, about midway through Vess Cemetery you seem to suddenly have more money than you can possibly spend because of all the Bloody Bandages (100% drop from every enemy and 35 sell value is a pretty potent combination)... I have 799 HRT (Edit: 1474 now, after upgrading to equipment from Chapter 3 and selling ~20 bandages) and nothing to spend it on.
    • I'd like to have an option to return to title / give up from the battle screen, if possible... I keep losing people and when it happens on turn 1-2 it's often easier to just close the game and reload than very slowly win/lose with whoever's left.
    • While I love the outfit system and think it's really cool, and the outfit design is pretty good, I'm starting to slightly wish there was a way to get the stat benefits from an outfit (the running dead outfit gives huuuge offensive bonuses) without displaying it during conversations (Shizuka looks a little creepy in it). Maybe a menu option to always show default outfits...?
    • Actually, what about a way to upgrade the store-bought outfits to roughly keep up in stats with the cosplay ones? Even if it's just expensive improved versions bought from the armor shop or something... Alternatively, making better armor and weapons available earlier (heck, make them craftable) could make it easier to advance without grinding or equipping an outfit you don't particularly like, though it wouldn't help min-maxing addicts like me that much.
    • Aika's Flash Slash seems quite weak for the cost. It's not much stronger than a normal attack, it doesn't get support from nearby allies, and it doesn't do magic damage. It's not even ranged or an AoE. Am I missing some very useful feature?
    • There's no automatic healing between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2... which is not what I expected, but is probably okay.
    • It'd be nice if the book shop actually sold grimoires. I'm not just saying that because I want to teach everyone Blow Kiss (which I do... can't have too many healers); it'd be nice to have a few more customization options for each character beyond what to cosplay as, even if each book is only useful for one specific girl (since everyone has a different weapon and magical element). I guess this is time-consuming since skill books are not easy to just throw together like healing items, and require you to mess with scripts?

    Obligatory typo list (All from Chapter 2):

    • 'But you sleep class': Uhh... through? Slept through?
    • 'Well, I can't help it I': needs punctuation (semicolon?) after it
    • 'The tower's been flat on top': Lose the 'been'
    • 'before I turn cut you down like a beanstock': remove 'turn'; beanstalk?
    • 'Why I have to have the': why do I
    • 'She's we;come to try.'
    • 'I rather her not.' I'd; rather she didn't?
    • 'calling upon in the middle of class': upon you'
    • 'this is a truly urgent matter at hand': replace this with there; or remove 'at hand'
    • 'overran by undead': overrun
    • 'to wander if': wonder
    • 'Somebody these zombies in this': put
    • 'breeze passing through this masoleum': mausoleum
    • 'might some more clues': be some
    • 'Let me give a try': give it
    • 'I stay outside and': I'll
    • Masoleum (teleporter option): mausoleum
    • 'This masoleum is swarming': You get the idea
    • 'more inside the masoleum': Is this actually an alternate spelling? I apologize if it is
    • 'to the resque': rescue
    • 'underneath a masoleum'
    • 'Haun, no is going to': nobody
    • 'I volunteer myself, but I....can't swim': I'd?; and that's one dot too many
    • 'the fact both of their parents being woman': women; parents are (or 'fact of both (of) their')
    • 'a nuber of risks with this method': number
    • 'Theoritically, yes': theoretically
    • 'an ice witch on us': with us?
    • 'defense proceedure put in place': procedure
    • 'Is their invitation?' is this their?
    • 'I'm destroyed her when she tried' I destroyed
    • 'you've been buisy': busy
    • 'While we at class, you': we were
    • 'Don't jealous, Fredriika': don't be (the second part of that line, 'to which you failed', isn't quite right either, but not sure how to fix it)
    • 'not the worse part': worst?
    • 'So it is. I perish': so they are? (from the context)
    • 'how to survive in wild': in the wild?
    • 'what may caused them': may have caused
    • 'won't come to our aid': her aid (I think??)
    • 'quite disasterous': disastrous
    • 'you girls had done what I asked while you gone': you were gone; have done?
    • 'without permission of a teacher': from a teacher?
    • 'responsibilities and privelages': privileges
    • 'my fault your getting': you're
    • 'that have went missing': gone missing?
    • 'notify them of their lost': loss
    • 'their daughters t(o) this island': I don't think there's a typo here but the line wraps one character too late.
    (Edited 3 times)

    Thanks for your reply (which answered my question) and for fixing so many of the problems I was having. I like the new level of difficulty better; it's still pretty hard (especially without Aika's nuclear option, the yuki musume can be devastating with their hit and run attacks), but not crazy hard, and it's a lot more manageable with the ability to replay previous levels working. I'm looking forward to playing this even more, though I think after this run I may start copying over save files.

    Yuki Musume are even cuter than I remembered. Aww.

    I like Aika's team attack ability (is that what it's called?), though it confused me the first time it happened. Is that new, or did I just never manage to do it before?

    I have played through Chapter 1 again and have assembled another short list of issues...

    • School nurse might benefit from a different dialog line if the cost of healing is 0?
    • The options to skip some of the cutscenes are gone? I did not pay close attention to which ones were missing, but it seemed to be most of the pre- and post-battle ones... Was it on purpose? That's fair enough if it was.
    • Aika walks through a wall during post-baths cutscene
    • The clothes you're wearing for the baths scene seem to get unequipped, but not actually removed from your inventory. Perhaps after unequipping the current clothes, remove 2 school uniforms so there's at least something to force you to try on different clothes and get back after the next level? Could get weird if they were already sold though.
    • The post-victory screen after replaying levels seems to be slightly glitchy? It sends you to the tower picture; the only way to get out of it seems to be to press Z, which opens the teleporter's menu, but if you cancel out of it, you go back where you were normally. This might be some kind of user error, but if it's not, a fix would be appreciated.
    • Worst bug: The game gets totally stuck in the evil interlude after the freezer, preventing me from actually seeing chapter 2 by any means I can think of. Looked like one silhouette (middle of bottom group) tried to walk through another one (top of bottom group) and got stuck? It's right as the president walks in. I'm going to try to import my save from the previous demo or something if possible, but I don't remember finding a point to save after the freezer. (I don't really blame you for this one; I've worked with RPG Maker before and these can be easy to do. I can provide my save file and/or game install if it's not happening for you. :/ )
    • Edit: And another one. If you skip the opening narration using the provided option, the game goes to a black screen and never fades back. You have Aika and Shizuka with all their starting gear and items, but I have no idea what room you get placed in and I can't find anything to interact with.
    • Lots of typos, none of which are bad enough to make the intended meaning indecipherable but I figure it might help you to have a list.
      • 'Many call it the ilsand of witches': island
      • 'Within the islander's daily lives': islanders'
      • 'Why mother enrolled here': probably should be 'enrolled me here' unless she's just following in her footsteps
      • 'weaponor a suit of armor': weapon or
      • 'You can books and grimoires': buy
      • 'Grimoire?' (on the very next line): grimoires?
      • 'Reading will ingrave': engrave, or inscribe
      • 'I refuse to loose our bet': lose
      • 'It apparently costly to keep patching up after battles': it is; 'us up' or 'up students' or 'students up'
      • Pirats of the Caribean: If you're going for Caribbean, it has two Bs in it. If not (I thought pirats was a typo until I saw them), never mind.
      • 'anymore catfish showup': any more?, show up
      • 'We have pursue them!': have to
      • 'can always by some clothes': buy some
      • 'stole a student's clothes in bath': in the?
      • 'wear something warn': warm
      • 'According my deduction': to my
      • 'spell contrat is here': contract
      • 'for a hide out. Afterall': hideout?. after all
      • 'I'm that punched you': the one that

    Is this a useful way to notify you? I can't see any other way but I'm new to itch.io.

    Edit: Fixed typo in my own comment

    Edit 2: Crossed out all the things I could easily confirm as fixed. I'm on Chapter 2 now.

    (Edited 4 times)

    I hope it's okay to comment here instead of on the submission.

    I absolutely love this game and would definitely play the complete game (or help out with it if you're looking for co-conspirators, but it seems like you've got it covered and I don't have much of an artistic or musical talent anyhow). I liked the little touches, like Aika being able to climb over tables and changing someone's equipped outfit actually changing their outfit. Also, this is one of the most different-and-interesting RPG maker games I've played in a long while. It reminds me of Disgaea and Strawberry Panic, which are... two things I did not expect to see combined, but like both of; and I like the setting and characters here too. It actually does feel like a yuri anime.

    With that said, oh wow, that difficulty. Pirats and catfish can defeat Aika and Shizuka (respectively) in one hit during their first appearances, and it's not like I'm under-leveled because this is the only level I can be at this point. There is no room for error.

    While playing through once, I noticed a lot of minor (mostly non-game-breaking) issues that should mostly be easily fixed. Actually, you may have found some of them already, but here goes:

    • During the scripted nurse office visit, Aika is invisible.
    • During the pre-baths scene, Shizuka is invisible.
    • During the pre-battle scene at the underground lake, Shizuka is invisible.
    • The freezer one too actually.
    • You can cancel out of the underground lake visit (or I think just not talk to the teleporter?), leaving you at the hub area but unable to see anything except menus (black screen).
    • Catfish at the baths wield pirat claws.
    • Replaying a level locks all later levels, meaning you can never advance the story, only replay the earlier levels over and over. This can be really bad if you save over your last save before you notice what happened.
    • The pirat cosplay crafting recipe requires a swimsuit, not a pirat bikini as specified.
    • Aika fails to get a bento and ends up with toast, instead - but the item you get is a bento, and both are available in the shop after the kitchen visit.
    • Is Aika supposed to have Blood Harvester? I wouldn't have cleared the kitchens without it and I can't even imagine trying to clear the baths with the rusty kama, but it makes her basically invincible after she hits level 3-4 since every hit will steal more health than her maximum.
    • The cheerful slice of life music keeps playing during the freezer battle. Actually, maybe that was deliberate?

    Chapter 2 Edit: All of these bugs are fixed now.


    • I think the difficulty might be a little too hard for right at the start of the game. Though it does help to make the early battles interesting, I was expecting a tutorial, not a pirat walking past and one-shotting Aika. It took me three or four tries to win each level (even after I equipped Blood Harvester, I kept losing Shizuka), though I think I could do it reliably now. Making Aika and Shizuka's physical and magic defenses a bit closer together, or raising max health values a bit, might help? Chapter 2 edit: Health values are higher now and I think the new ones are fine.
    • There are lots of minor elements to the game that could probably be hinted at in Aika's dialogue, rather than leaving players to figure them out (but maybe shouldn't be?): scarves, Aika ignoring some obstacles, arming up before the baths, that sort of thing.
    • The victory music is a slowed down version of the game over music. Changing it would help me feel like I'm actually winning. Chapter 2 Edit: It's actually not the victory music, actually, and it wasn't before either. I just checked. The victory music is fine. It's the music that plays after the victory message, during the post-battle scene, which is less of a problem.
    • Letting healing items be used on adjacent allies would fit in with both the strategy RPG and yuri genres.
    • The red text on the map information panel goes off the right side of the screen; maybe move it down to the bottom? I'm guessing this is not your fault though.
    • Change the attack animation for catfish? I'm pretty sure their attack hits magic defense but it looks like a claw slash. Or maybe I'm severely misunderstanding the attack damage formula. Edit: New one is better.

    And a parting question to close out this wall of text: English titles instead of Japanese honorifics. Was this a conscious decision? There's nothing wrong with it, and I can tell what honorifics they would be using, but if everyone has Japanese names anyway, it just... feels a little strange (coming from subtitled anime and translated manga, anyhow).

    Thanks for making this, anyway, and good luck with the complete version! I enjoyed the demo, and if I seem overly critical it's just because I want it to be even better.

    Edit: Accuracy