I can see the vision, but it’s not quite there yet. The concept is not bad, but the structure could use some refining. You accidentally set a trap for yourself by setting the time frame for EVERYTHING (pre-afterlife part) very short. As a result, we don’t get to get immersed in the character’s emotion, motivation, etc. The stake was there, but it felt flat. Again, because of the short frame, we’re not invested in the struggles.

I think it can be remedied by focusing the shift on the death part. Let the character dwell in their memory, regret, etc., instead of letting Death dominate the scene.

Well that’s my two cents. All in all, it’s a good attempt.

To be honest, I feel the president in this is a bit more developed than the main characters.  At first, it seemed strange to me that we didn't explore "why" the moon was destroyed and we were all doomed, but upon retrospect, it makes sense that the reason doesn't matter; when you're about to die, only the most important things matter.  

When the characters are looking for each other to spend their last moments together, perhaps some sepiatone flashbacks to events from their past as they're going to meet would help build that relationship more, like the first time they met, a fight where one left for a bit and the other was afraid they had lost them forever, a mundane moment that suddenly takes on much more meaning... just something to help us get to know the characters a bit more and become more invested.

ironically, your entry reminds me a little of my final two-day entry from last year's jam, Replay Video 😅

There were some nice moments in there, like the president's speech, but this one fell flat overall. There was no reason to care about the characters. We don't know anything about Alex and John other than they love each other. The second half could have had more of an impact if there had been more foreshadowing and stronger theme enforcement, but it's just kind of there as it stands. The words don't have much weight behind them as there wasn't anything in the story supporting those themes. The resolution feels flat because there's no conflict. It's great that you managed to complete a project, but there is some work that needs to be done.

There was some decent writing and good ideas here, though a couple of things gave me pause. It's a bit confusing that character tags were used for narration related to that character, when typically they're only used for dialogue. I also couldn't help but wonder why the highways were empty enough for Alex to speed through. Logically, they should be jammed up with everyone else doing the same thing, but the world feels eerily empty instead. Other than that, it's a simple and heartfelt story about a couple's death when the world ended. It's also neat to get a look into the afterlife when that happened. But, unfortunately, the afterlife bit felt anticlimactic because there was no conflict whatsoever. The characters moved on easily into happily ever after. They remained exactly the same as they were before, and we also don't really get to see anything about their lives or pasts. This is a pretty bare-bones skeleton of a plot, to be honest. I think if you expanded it with more emotional moments, some conflict to make us root for them, and a bit more that shows who the characters are as people, this would be a great VN. As is, there's just not much to talk about.

'All I need is you' is a short vignette about the final moments before the destruction of the world, and the love between two people that endures through it. I really appreciate the sincerity that comes when analyzing the inner monologues of having only a few hours and rushing to find the one person you want to spend the last moments of the world with. There's something sobering about thinking about all that will never be and all that you had once worried about suddenly not mattering. In the end, there's something a little bit cathartic that there's something beyond the vale of death, and that when approached by death itself, you're judged and get to have a fitting afterlife/next life.

The story does get a little bit dichotomic in it's categorization of 'good' and 'bad' people, and feels a bit surface level on what qualifies as either, but for this type of story, it's just nice to have a happy end for the gay couple. As for the set up, it does get a little bit comical and absurd for how blatant and blunt the announcement of the end of the world is. "I am a prophet from God," and "I'm gonna blow up the MOON!" are meme-level plot points, and it does throw off the sincerity of the whole situation into question. It does also conflate a few religious concepts in that God and Death are both personified in some way and are separate beings, along with hell, afterlife and reincarnation.

I'm not too sure if the theme of 'a light in the dark' was shown too well, maybe as the flaming asteroids/moon pieces in the night sky, or just the 'loved ones' in a time of peril. The presentation communicates the ideas well enough, and the use of community sprites was done in a tasteful manner. Overall, a short easy read that'll pull on your heartstrings just a little bit if you're not laughing at some of the more absurd lines.

This one was a bit of a doozy for me. The thumbnail is... I think unintentionally hilarious. The giant flaming meteor, the weird placement of the text, the giant black empty space, the wolf sequestered down to the side.

I feel like there definitely could've been some political commentary at play with an insane US president causing the apocalypse but... he's right? Like it turns out he actually was a prophet from god? Huh???? Bold creative decision. Really it just felt very stilted to me. The two main characters are really the only people rushing anywhere in the apocalypse? They also spent a lot of time talking about how much they love each other without really giving any examples or showing us. It's a really cheesy ending to a really cheesy story, and that's not inherently bad, but I think a little bit better thought into the characters relationship and their struggles. Everything just kinda happens and then it's over. 

Still, I'm glad you got your VN out and turned in before the deadline, you should be proud of yourself!

First of all, congrats on releasing your VN!

I didn't quite know what to expect going in. Not going to lie, this is probably the first time I thought a thumbnail looked funny: the title "All I need is you" juxtaposed with the shape of a meteor threatening to wipe out all life on Earth was hilarious to me. I wasn't quite sure if this was intentional or not.

Then the story begins and we are greeted by the president announcing he had blown up the moon, bringing about the apocalypse on Earth... I hope I don't sound disrespectful when I say this is probably going to be one of the highlights of the jam for me!

Unfortunately the rest of the story wasn't quite able to match the energy of the crazy opening and went for a serious tone instead. This isn't bad choice per se, but I am afraid the rest of the story remained a bit too abstract for the emotional stakes to work. We aren't shown specific memories or event, instead we are treated with the narrative and the characters just stating and repeating over and over how much they love each other. This doesn't have the same emotional weight and the single concrete element we are given (the wedding venue) isn't strong enough to compensate for the lack of details. And the story seems to be in a rush to end instead of establishing a mood: for example, the protagonist goes looking for his partner and they find each other immediately, the first car he happens to bump into happens to be his partner's.

In terms of presentation, even though you just used the jam sprites and some generic backgrounds, I thought you did a fine job with the tools at your disposal!

Overall, I don't know if this is what you were going for, but if nothing else I had fun with the premise of the story. I hope you continue working on your skills!

The president blowing up the moon with nuclear missiles ("To be brutally frank. I have just destroyed our world." – amazing line) for reasons that are a little bit difficult to grasp is, no contest, the best political commentary there has been or will be in the jam.

In general, this is incredibly weird, but not necessarily in an unenjoyable way. The protagonists do remain a little thin due to the very short length; I wish we had more details about their lives or something to characterize their responses to this situation more distinctly. I would call the conceit at large similarly abstract – the supernatural element has little time to land since it all goes by so fast. But the falling shards of the moon make for some very evocative imagery even when the descriptions don't do a lot with them, and the final scene is stylish.

Apart from that, Erebus's custom UI component is very nice to look at, and the 3D-rendered backgrounds work to create a jarring mood in conjunction with the surreal story. On the whole, I would call this a submission that is rudimentary in many ways but just weird and memorable enough to stand out.

Alright man, I'm gonna be honest this one didn't quite land for me. 

Going to jump straight into the breakdown here, so Spoilers from this point forward.

Implementation of Theme:

I can see it. Couple different ways actually. We have Alex and John being lights for each other in the face of an apocalypse, as well as their admission into heaven being a light in the darkness of death itself. There's other more literal things you could look at like the explosions in the sky and such, but the metaphorical implementations feel more impactful to me. It's fine either way.

Story:

The biggest issue for me is that I know nothing about these characters. Basically the only personality trait we see from either one of them is loving each other, which is a fine place to start, but there needs to be more than that to make a really compelling narrative. Do these guys have friends? Family? Anyone else that they'll miss or will miss them when they're admitted to their own private slice of heaven? Was there anything that they enjoyed, or were afraid of missing out on when the world ended besides just getting married? This story could probably benefit from starting a day or two earlier and showing some day-to-day interactions (that actually give insight into their characters, not just, like, scenes of them snuggling) to get the reader more invested in the cataclysm to come.

The commentary from Death also felt a bit preachy and not particularly insightful. Like, yes, the world sucks, and I think there are a lot of us who are very acutely aware of that right now, but monologuing about it directly just came off kind of... trite. 

This is drifting further from the narrative, but I also just do not believe that the freeways were totally devoid of traffic. Like these two could not have been the only ones desperately trying to reach their loved ones.

Presentation:

Presentation was fine. No issues with the stock sprites obviously and the backgrounds and music did their jobs. Very few if any glaring typos or other language errors which is always fantastic to see. Generally nothing here is done poorly, but there's not much that particularly stands out either.

Creativity:

It's a bit basic, to be honest. "Love at the end of the world" isn't particularly original on its own (there is some stiff competition built around that premise just in this jam) and this entry didn't quite have the characters or narrative complexity to elevate it.

I know this review was a little more on the critical side, but please don't take any of it the wrong way - I only intend to be constructive here. I think it's great you're finishing projects and getting stuff out there, and I hope you stick with it and keep perfecting your craft.

good, wholesome. :)