itch.io

Sorry, maybe I should have been a bit clearer in my response, but glad you've already addressed the issues you encountered. And thank you for taking the time to spell them out, other people in the same situation as you might find your comment useful. :-)

Yes, another way around that is to just create your git folders in the same directory you already use for your Renpy projects. :-)

Nope, it's SFW!

It's a story with some elements of romance but it's not dating sim. :-) 

Thank you, glad it was helpful :-)

You're welcome, glad this was helpful! ^^

Many thanks for sharing your in-depth and thought-out analysis of the story. As a philosophy, I try to subscribe to the theory of death of the author: I try to resist the urge to share my reading of my own work (because I don't want it to be taken as the "authentic" interpretation), but I'm very grateful whenever I'm able to get a glimpse of how others engaged with it, whatever their opinion may be. :-) 

I will make a very small exceptions in regard to the main character's age because it was something I tried to establish in the text, even if in a throwaway line. The first flashback is stated to take place a few moons before Unagi's coming of age (admittedly a bit ambiguous) and five years before the main story. So Unagi and Cody are meant to be 17 and 23 respectively when they first meet, and 22 and 28 by the end of the story, with the flashbacks taking place at various points within that interval. 

That's all I'll say, but again thank you a lot for your analysis, it was deeply appreciated. :-) 

The presentation and coding is pretty fantastic, I'm impressed.

The story was fun and in some sense thought-provoking, even though in execution it did end up feeling too much like a Spanish soap opera for my personal tastes. But I did really enjoy the underlying message in this one, about not fighting other people's battles for them. Although I must say, the way the abusive boyfriend did a complete 180 as soon as the dragon stood his ground felt unrealistic: I see what you were going for and being all bark and no bite is not unrealistic per se, but the way the shift happened in the span of one line felt a bit too sudden.

While the high fantasy bits did feel a bit superfluous, I did not hate them. I do think they might be a tad confusing for the folks who aren't familiar with the whole "My Wolf" discourse.

Again, impressive work from the whole team!

Really loved this one. The writing was great and the story and characters were immediately engaging. I remember feeling so anxious as the main conflict kept brewing and escalating, a sure sign you managed to pull me in the fictional lives of these characters.

My only small gripe with this story is that the resolution did end up feeling a bit too lopsided. While both characters had fair points and perspectives and the solution was in the middle and compromise, it did ended up feeling like Benny took all of the blame while the MC was left with very little soulsearching to do. And while this is consistent with their characterization (the text even calls it out) and I'm pretty was it was done intentionally, it did end up making me feel just a bit unsatisfied with the resolution of these characters' arcs.

In particular, the biggest offender for me is the dining scene, since it's the only one to my memory that doesn't revolve around the MC's writing and inspiration issues. While this is nice to break the monotony by providing a new reason for conflict, it also creates a situation where the MC is pretty unambiguously in the wrong imho (the call didn't really seem to have any urgency to it, that would justified the MC being so inconsiderate towards his husband). (Also who's paying for such long transcontinental calls lol) xD

But again, nitpicks aside, this is definitely one of the highlights of the game jam for me!

As a kinkster and BDSM enjoyer myself, I applaud you for having tackled such an interesting and challenging topic. I thought the writing was pretty competent and realistic (except for the nature of the "sex club", which ended up looking more like a brothel than a BDSM-themed sex club) and you managed to touch on interesting ideas that went beyond mere descriptions of sex acts.

I do wish you had explored some of these underlying threads a bit more than you ended up doing. While the ideas were there, most of the focus was indeed on the sex scenes and I was left a bit unsatisfied with their resolution. Bit of a nitpick, but I felt like the focus on the wolf and MC's encounter wasn't the most helpful at exploring BDSM, because it ended up blurring the line between the fantasy of a BDSM scene (which is knowingly performed and staged) with the sexual fantasy of the big man coming to save you (which is treated at face value by the story).

Also, and again this is just a nitpick, as a fellow kinkster I wished the story had explored some more kinks! While the three partners provide some variety, especially in the way the MC gets to fill different roles, all of the sessions seemed to revolve mainly around sexual acts and verbal roleplay.

In terms of presentation, I thought neither the visuals nor the music were the best picks (the music ended up being really loud and distracting, this might be the first FVN I ended up playing with the music off).

But again I thought the topic was really interesting and you definitely have the talent to improve on it, I would definitely revisit this story if you decided to expand on it.

Sorry if I was maybe a bit too harsh in my comment. Seeing as you guys had already received plenty of (well deserved) praise for your work, I mostly wanted to focus on my personal gripe with it. But I just want to underline that it is still a very good story, and I did very much enjoy the ride, so you have reason to feel proud of what you've accomplished!

But to address your question, I'll try to explain better what I meant. Basically, we start with an already dead Mori, seemingly at peace with his situation: he stares at his body as a ghost, free of the old shackles of his body and curious to see what this new life after death entails.

This is why I think this "second death" feels so disconnected to the real thing, at least to me. It doesn't come grieviously to rob you of your life and future: those are already forever gone by the start of the story. It doesn't come mercifully to relieve you of your pain and suffering: Mori already relieved himself of those at the start of the story. This second death is still scary and terrible, yes, but it's also robbed of much of the pathos of the real thing to my eyes, because everything has already been lost and gained. Even the possibility of framing Death as a friend, come to free a sick man of his suffering, doesn't work in this context because Mori has already gained freedom from it.

Again, there's this weird tension, I feel, between living Mori, on the one hand, who is someone who is supposed to have known for a long time that death was around the corner and I would expect to have a more mature outlook on death, and dead Mori, who is effectively a newborn robbed of his new life by surprise and who reacts to it as if it was something sudden and unexpected.

I hope that makes sense and again, I hope you don't take it too harshly. The story is still great! :-)

This one feels like an excercise in virtuosity: the strong characterization of the MC is on point and your writing skill are on full display.

However, I feel like the story is a bit too long for this kind of narration to go on without interruptions. Something to break the monotony would have made this much more enjoyable. Some shifts between this over-the-top voice and a more grounded perspective would have greatly enhanced the experience. Instead, the few bits when we actually get to hear some voices other than MC's end up being just as silly.

Still, the basic idea for the story is very good and, had it been shorter, I would have been on board for the entirety of the ride.

Possibly the most solid entry in terms of overall balance. Great presentation with the use of (very cute) custom sprites, great animations, and fun Ren'py tricks I haven't seen before in a FVN. And I really loved the way you used choices as a tool to explore the core theme of the story.

The story and the characters were great, at its peak the interaction between the two romantic interests was genuinely moving. Possibly the only part I didn't enjoy as much was the ending: not because I think there is something wrong with the way the story ended per se, but because it made feel the story a bit less unique, something we've seen before, as opposed to the strong artistic identity it had carved for itself in the preceding parts.

Unhinged in the best possible sense of the word.

Even for a story dealing with sexuality and sex, it is still surprisingly refreshing to see it explore without shyness the most unfiltered carnal desires.

I don't think it needs to be said that this one is in a league of its own in terms of presentation. The art and visuals in particular are stunning, but all the individual elements have been very competently made, from the writing to the audio.

While the individual parts are great and the production values are through the roof, I must admit that I personally wasn't as invested in the story (that obviously still managed to strike a chord with a large audience!).

As a story about dealing with death, I thought the whole framing wasn't really the best way to explore this topic. It feels to me like the real story should have taken place before the narrative even begins: the MC's actual death and the long years leading to it and having to deal with it are left in the background (in his relationship with death Mori doesn't come off as someone who's had plenty of time to deal with his own mortality), while we focus on him dealing with a surprise second death that feels less poignant than the real thing simply because it comes to extinguish a hope for a new life that was only held for a couple of hours.

And while Memento was plenty adorable, even now I struggle to categorize whatever the relationship between the two characters was as romance, considering it was mostly based on lying, antagonism, and... belly rubs!

The creativity of this one is unmatched: I love your dedication to breathing life into this starting idea until it becomes a believable and coherent alternate reality. I wish more people read this story, just so I could use "WHY WON'T HE TWAIN" as a meme and be understood. And in terms of mastery of Ren'py, Unage remains in a league of his own.

The story on its own is a bit too direct and simplistic though, so I'm afraid that if the story stretches for too long, the novelty of the good worldbuilding will eventually wear off. My advice would be to keep it short and sweet!

I'm not the biggest SoL fan, and this story was a bit too mundane for my personal tastes.

But I must say that I quite enjoyed the "vibes" of this entry. The artwork, the backgrounds, the music, all blend together into a good charming mix. I love the MC's sprite and he comes off as a genuinely cool dude you'd love to hang out with.

Very fun story. I loved the quirky cast of characters and the creative way you mixed together golf with anime tropes. The presentation, from the custom sprites to the way they moved around the screen, was great.

My main gripe is that, while I loved the (very long) middle part of the story, the beginning and ending were much less enjoyable. You flashed out so well this fun set of side characters, and the competition among them was genuinely engaging, that the main ones ended up feeling kind of boring by comparison. The MC, while endearing, ends up not having much of a motivation of his own, which makes him immediately less engaging than the very strongly driven side characters. And the love interest feels like a non-entity for most of the story. The romance aspect in particular feels very shoehorned in and not what this story really wanted to be about.

I've got to be honest: when I picked up this entry my expectations were pretty low. At best, I expected a cute/funny story that I wouldn't really be able to connect with all that much. Instead, this turned out to be one of my favorite entries in the whole jam.

I really loved the writing in this one. While there was plenty of silliness and the romantic plot felt a bit contrived, the charming cast of characters, the good pacing, and, most of all, the competent way the writing focused on the MC's inner world was what really sold this experience for me. On a side note, this entry might have the best written sex scene I can remember out of all the FVNs I've read so far.

In terms of presentation, I appreciated the way you added new expressions of your own making to Cody's sprites. They were really expressive and complemented the side characters' lovely quirkiness very well.

While most of the individual pieces of this story are great, I guess the main "flaw" is that this ends up being a "feel-good" Cindarella kind of story, while it could have been much more. The MC barely experiences any journey or growing, because amazing unlikely things just keep falling into his lap without any real agency or effort on his part. This story of self-doubt and inadequacy ends with the MC receiving just external validation.

I'm liking the story so far! The characters are very endearing and I like how you successfully manage the shifts from the serious bits to the silly bits, kudos!

The humor also works for me, which is pretty rare in the VNs I've read so far. I especially chuckle when Damien talks to the Player (even though I hope the reason for this fourth wall breaks will be explored later on). xD

Keep up the work!

A really solid first build, made me intrigued to read more! :-)

I enjoyed the writing a lot. I especially liked the relationship between the MC and Erwan, they had great chemistry and an interesting dynamic, and even though I'm guessing we won't be seeing Erwan again, this makes me confident future characters are going to be interesting as well.

The setting is also pretty interesting, the marks remind me a lot of the dragonmarks of Eberron fame.

The VN has room to grow in terms of visuals and music, but what was there was serviceable, and I'm guessing you are going to have more assets to play with once we get to know the other main characters.

One small thing that was pretty noticeable while playing is that Akhet's sprites are not aligned, so every time his expression changes the whole sprite moves slightly. I would suggest fixing that because I doubt it was intentional. :-)

Keep up the good work!

I finally got around to playing this game and despite slice-of-life stories usually not being my favorite genre, I really fell in love with your work!

I was really impressed by the quality of the writing. You really breathed life into all of your characters and you introduced them in such a way as to make us intrigued and want to learn more about them. And the unique elements you are brewing into your VN from the technical side are really great. (Also the music is so relaxing and fitting!)

If I'm afforded one piece of constructive criticism, it's that so far I'm not feeling the MC, they seem to be a bit of a passive observer. I think it'd be great if they were a bit more of a presence in the conversations, because right now I feel other characters are talking around you or to you most of the time (rather than with you, if it makes sense).

Once again, can't wait to read more!

I'm usually not a fan of slice-of-life VNs, but I'm really liking Cor. The characters are all very enjoyable, but the biggest surprise was probably the MC. Not only did you successfully avoid the "blank slate" MC character problem, but Robert is probably my favorite character of the whole bunch, quirky, flawed, and cute! xP

Keep up the good work!

I would also like to report two "mistakes" (I think?):

- If you share a room with Edward, on Day 4 at a certain point you enter the wrong bedroom. It happens when the narrator says "I silently enter the room, not sure if Ed fell asleep... [etc.]"

- If you sleep on the couch, at a certain point the other characters offer you to switch places if you ever get tired of it. All but Hector, who says he'll fight for his spot.

Later, when the MC thinks about asking one of the others to switch places, he thinks that Hector would be the most enthusiastic about sleeping on the couch. This passage was slightly jarring to read: Hector was the only one who specifically did not offer.

You're very sweet, I'm really glad I made you that happy with my little comment! I was a bit worried that my criticism part came off a bit too harsh, but I'm glad you took it constructively as it was intended.

I'm excited to know you might come back to this project, but I totally understand what you're saying, it was a huge amount of work at the time and now you have other things to work on. Do not feel pressured, it was still a worthwhile experience as it is. Of course, if you do choose to write more, I will be reading it. :-)

I'm really sorry that you didn't receive as much appreciation for this project as you'd hoped. I have the feeling that this is not down to any flaw of the story itself, but simply that it still needs to find the right audience. Probably not enough people are giving it a chance because the art is not as eye-catching as in other works and the furry fandom skews more towards the romance/erotica genre. But I get the feeling that you already know that because I see you mentioned these aspects when talking about your next project. I wish you all the success you deserve and I hope that as you become more well known, people will be curious and discover your first work as well!

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Another funny bit I feel like sharing with someone about the story and that may interest you as the author...

I was so convinced that the big reveal was going to be that Fabio was Valentine ahah!  Considering how crazy and Machiavellian Valentine is, I thought he was playing the double identity game and controlling two gangs at once.

It all made sense to me: Fabio had the money and the criminal know-how, Valentine kept using French expressions in his calls, the fur color and the tail matched up, if I'm not mistaken Fabio is never present whenever Valentine calls, there was even a fox in the police force we knew of! Even Valentine's real name is sort of a French name. When it came to the point when Fabio was the only victim whose game took place by phone, I thought to myself "Ah, you're not fooling me, you're alternating between two voices!"

Now I feel bad that I spent half the novel giving poor Fabio the stink eye. ;-(

I've just finished my first playthrough of this game and I couldn't wait to tell you that I loved the experience. It still boggles my mind that this is a one-man project, I couldn't believe how many story altering choices you've included in this VN! You have my deepest admiration, I really like this kind of stuff. I've been reading a lot of furry VNs lately, and while I've stumbled across many incredible stories, yours is the first where I feel like the choices are complex, interesting, and really meaningful. Again, mad respect!

I enjoyed the story and the characters a lot too. You are a fantastic writer. I also have to mention that the music in this VN is phenomenal. I understand that you didn't compose it yourself, but even just the way you found and chose the perfect track tells me you are an incredible storyteller. There was never a moment when I found the music or ambient sounds distracting or out of place.

I have to mention as well that while reading your VN I did look up your other channels and profiles and I stumbled upon the stuff you have shared about your own story and I really connected to it. You've just become a huge inspiration for me and I'm sending you all the love I can as a stranger on the Internet. :-)

If I can share one piece of criticism, the only part that left me a little disappointed was the ending(s). I understand there is a "best" ending I have to read yet, but the endings that I've got felt a bit rushed. After having spent so much with this story and these characters, I was expecting a bit more of send-off. (This is especially true of the vengeance ending I read, that was over in like five sentences! I understand this is probably not supposed to be the "true ending", but I feel like if you give your readers the power to make choices, then you need to give your readers a well-written ending no matter what they choose, even if it's a well-written bad ending!).

I also need to mention that I think I found a bug in your game. **SPOILERS** On the second day, I chose to save the dude's in the cage as Robert. When it then cuts to Jade getting kidnapped, I successfully struggled but then failed to run after her attacker. At that point, the game suddenly stops after she says "Dammit" and I'm kicked back to the title screen. Looking at the script for JadeDay2_2, I see that under label FailedChaseAttacker there is nothing for if SaveJade == False. I believe that is the problem?

Finally, one last thing I have to mention is that I've found a few spelling mistakes here and there. Especially, I saw that you've mixed up "we're" and "were" a lot of times! It might be worth double checking that, if you care about that sort of stuff! :-)

Once again, I really loved this game, I hope your next VN is coming along smoothly. I can't wait to read more from you!