Thank you for the insight! I... feel like I actually understood Clam Story more than I initially thought I did! I really enjoyed this game, and I'm very excited for what you come up with next. If I could ask a question, is there a reason the m and the t are separate colors in Clam Story, and if so, why/what's the meaning behind that :0
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Wow, 2011 was (for the most part) just like that huh. Except the problematic bit about Morenatsu, I feel like most people did not care at the time lol.
Incredible work. This is a really specific type of piece, so I'm willing to bet it'll really hit with the people it hits with, and it might be a bit hard to parse for the people it doesn't. On one hand I feel like I can remember this type of MMO online group of friends drama 1 to 1 pretty much... though I was a lot younger than 25 during that, lol. I do really like the multi-faceted nature of the conflict, and the way it's resolved. Root is letting their friends down, and Mari is being unfair to them. I mean the "test" is especially bullshit. But I love that part of the resolution is asking yourself "does this really matter in the long run? or is it better to forgive it, and let it go. Do i care more about this friendship, or about being 'right?'" It's just a well put together story that flows well from plot beat to plot beat, with a healthy amount of character development and comedy throughout its runtime.
I think it's really funny, my only real critique (besides how badly I think you guys ham stringed yourselves with this thumbnail) is that maybe we get a little bit too indulgent at the end. The fourth wall breaks, the anachronisms, etc, I think they all worked really well, and were quite funny. Mira walking in on the ERP is incredibly fucking hilarious, and I think throwing the "chula" in there as another in joke on top of the several other layers of jokes, just kinda pushed it a bit too far. Especially since Hugo has been a relatively cool and caring guy who is doing his best, so the sudden allusion to Leo Alvarez is... a bit of a bad mouth feel lol.
As a side note, not quite a critique, at the beginning of the game we have this sort of... therian/transgender thing going on with Root. I'm unsure if this is just part of their self loathing from depression, or genuine dysphoria, but I would've liked to see that explored a little bit more.
Still, it's a really small peek into a time and place on the internet that may no longer exist literally, but still very much does spiritually. I think the thing that really sells it the most for me is the presentation. The very simple sprites, combined with eccentric choreography and flashy text gives me that feel of those old MMOs where actual character expression is extremely limited, but the people behind that still find ways to be creative. From the A-D-A-D strafing, to various uses of text size, color, and good ol emoticons. It reminds me of the time before fortnite shared emotes and ffxiv weddings, when the best you could do to show your support for someone across the ether cables was slightly clip your model into theirs.
WOW! thank you Fuze! It's sometimes hard to tell if you grow at all... admittedly I was worried that I was going to make something worse than Cygnus Leapt, so I'm glad to hear it hit home with you! I'm really proud of my part, but I'm even more proud of the people I got to work with and how hard they went! Rikun really is the MVP, we brought him on to do coding so no one else would have to worry about it, and instead he ended up taking the visual direction and aesthetic of the game to the next level.
Okay Fuze you always give us all really long and thorough reviews, full of your thoughts and constructive criticism, and so I'm gonna try to match your energy!
This is a hard one for me to rate, because, especially in the age of AI, the end result of art is worthy of praise and impressive, but so is the process. So that part of me is wowed by the existence of an entire conlang, even if it's heavily borrowed from and modified Japanese, in just a month, on top of all the writing and art you had to do beyond that. But it comes into direct conflict with the rest of me that played the game, that feels like it was mostly a detriment.This game is 25k words, technically a little over if you ask fvn.li, though I assume that's things like the thank you message, and perhaps some of the title select, I'm not trying to call any fouls there. But I wonder if the story wouldn't have benefited from more elsewhere. Sometimes it feels like words were cut out in sentences not because of typos, but because of a lack of space to use them anywhere.
And that's really just my biggest problem with the game overall, the actual pen to paper writing, especially the prose. It's just so, so bland. I think there's maybe two similes in the entire vn, when Kameron compares the hot springs to eden, and when Eugene says that going through the portal back will be like a walk in the part. It's all "we did this, did this, and then did this." Straightforward, and often lacking in interiority. I want less one to one descriptions of the events, the food, the locale, the appearances of the other world (especially with how gorgeous the bgs are, they do 80% of the work already for you), and a bit more artistry in the prose. Sometimes Kameron does let us know how he's feeling, though it's often pretty straightforward "like" or "dislike," and I feel like a lot of the complexity of the character doesn't come through until towards the end, when it's revealed that Ryley thought he was summoning a demon to power him up. It's a lengthy entry, and that length is exasperated by the lack of variation to break up the writing. This one is a bit of a personal pet peeve, that there's almost always only one sentence per line, but I think that also lends to part of the monotony of the pace.
And the conlang is cool but... I think it's ultimately a hamper on the game. First of all, it drastically inflates the word count, but more importantly, I just... kinda start glazing over and mashing the space button when it comes up. And it's there for the whole vn! Kameron learns some words (and whenever he speaks only in Devah he immediately translates it in his thoughts afterwards) but for the most part whenever the characters are speaking to each other, it doesn't really add anything to have this conlang there. We get so many times where Ryley or someone else will say something, and it's completely illegible, and then Kameron will be like "I have no idea what he's saying" or "I'm just gonna assume this." Just write that! Don't bloat the space with the entire conversation that we the reader (and often the main character) can't understand and just kind of have to click through. I think you can still deliver the feeling of this character trying to learn the language, and slowly piecing it together, without needing the actual language always on display. Maybe if this were a much more longform vn, and we the reader would have the experience of slowly learning it alongside Kameron, but in a short jam game like this, I think that's ultimately too much work, for too little payoff, that took up space and effort that could've been better directed elsewhere. like a second sex scene More emotional connections after the big reveal of Ryley's attempt at cheating, to justify him following him through the portal (or the logistics on how a deva living in our world works, if he's gonna live extra long, or if time will pass him by extra fast, etc etc.). Just places that I really felt could've used more fleshing out that the many conversations that we didn't really need to see on screen, had been skipped and given time somewhere else.
We get some plot threads that occasionally come up, but because Kameron lacks any real way to communicate with Ryley, they often don't really play out in any meaningful way. Kameron has several dreamless nights, and then when he finally has a dream, it's a nightmare about his experiences with homophobia, and getting injured due to a bad call (that was potentially made purposefully wrong to mess with him? I'm unsure), and while cuddling with a cumstained twunk probably isn't a bad way to shake those off, it's just one of the many character moments we can't really work around more because of the communication barrier. Occasionally they bring up the idea of "communicating without speaking" in the not quite sumo sport they play, but that isn't really utilized to justify the ending of Ryley giving up everything to follow him. Which I'm not complaining about, to be clear! I actually really like the overall progression of the story, I just want its delivery to be executed differently. Also Ryley tried to summon a demon and that's definitely what the murder whirlwind at the beginning was, right? ALSO IF KAMERON REALLY CARES ABOUT ALL THESE PEOPLE, HE COULD AT LEAST LEARN TO SAY THEIR NAMES RIGHT. I get that it's "ryley like Raijin and Eugene like Fujin, but after a certain point it's less "making the best with what he can" and just kind of disrespectful. Also looking at the origins of the name Eugene does have some really funny implications for a world that's a parallel dimension connected to japan. Another personal petpeeve, I wish we got more literal heart to heart moments. We get that one during the sex scene, and it's so good. I'm such a huge sucker for feeling someone else's heartbeat, especially as an intimate moment, so while it's brought up I think three times, i wanted more with them directly. You make my heart rumble, so rumble!!!
Okay that's a lot thank you for bearing with me. The presentation is fine, UI is nothing crazy but I quite like it as something beyond just the regular default renpy set up. The music is well curated, and none of the tracks ever felt tonally out of place for what was happening (beyond maybe the menu music being a rendition of pachelbel's canon, but I chalk that up more to me being overly familiar with composition), while still maintaining the general ambiance of the game. I see you branching out to other body types beyond the Signature Fuze Twink, and I respect and appreciate that. I am not immune to men, and boy are there some nice men to ogle in this game, triumph emoji triumph emoji. I think sometimes some of the angles the characters are in they lose some of their identifying shapes as whatever their respective species are, though I do think you do the forward facing sprites for a character like a rhino pretty well. Sometimes when multiple characters are on the scene, the resused assets become a bit more obvious. There's one scene where Codie, Kameron, and Eugene are all hitting the exact same side smile smirk, and it really stands out. And the CGs... oogh. Y'know at first I was like "wow I know Fuze is a really prolific artist, i'm surprised there haven't been too many CGs, considering the importance of a lot of these scenes" and then I got to the tournament. I'm sure the Media Literate recognize other Fuze characters making cameos, but ngl I got distracted by that final throw. Eugene? Ryley? I need to stick my media literacy in them iykwim. I know I joked about a second sex scene but insert the worf star trek "THIS IS SEX" gif here. Just let me fuck Eugene and I'll be normal I'll be fine. And worth stating again, I adore the BGs. Entirely original backgrounds is crazy, and I love the shaded painterly details in them. I think especially Ryley's apartment has a lot of life... for being so trashy bachelor pad lol.
So yeah, this is really long, and I know it's a lot of complaining, which hopefully comes off as constructive. I have a huge respect for the amount of work you've done on this, and, as someone who is only vaguely familiar with some of your older work, and your previous maywolf, I think it's really exciting to see you branch out into stories that have another layer of depth to them beyond the porn. I really hope you keep at it, because you've got a lot of creative energy and I'll be reading the other things you put out. I wrote so much because there was a lot to talk about, and so I hope that comes through, and not just a massive downer of a review!
Let's gooooo girl failures! I had a lot of fun with this entry, it's straightforward and does what it wants. I know that this isn't the most unheard of type of story ever, but I think being both from the viewpoint of a more modern generation, and being women instead, helps give it its own identity. I'm on that weird cusp of millenial and gen z, but much closer to the latter than the former, so it's nice seeing stories that speak more to our specific conditions.
Honestly it's just a solid game, a really strong first showing and I look forward to what you do next!
fucking RIP clive. Every line in this game is just throwing poor clive under the bus. Couldn't stand up for him getting exiled, and now just "wow never seen a man so wonderful."
This game is like 1/3rd worldbuilding and the rest is fucking. Which. Fair. I just wish the ultimate adjective used to describe how attractive he is as "male." The sprites are fine, but I wish Solus looked a bit more like he does in the CGs. Anyway fine work, should've had Lucius bottom imo ;>
Pyrena has everything. Line boil, animation, a hot older guy in a leather jacket, ACAB, and suicide ideation.
To call the story of Pyrena bare bones would be doing it a disservice, because while it keeps itself tight at a respectable 6.5k words, it fits so much into its allotted run time. As a mentally ill queer person in small town america myself, like, I get it lmao. It's undoubtedly a setting that speaks immediately to me, but the rest of the people I played it with are all non-americans, so the feelings represented still translated well even without my personal predisposition. Everything about this game drips with the purposefulness imbued by the author, the camera angles, the dialogue and narration, the animation. Even the character designs, which are relatively simple, speak a lot to their respective nature.
As an aside, I know some people may ding you on the implementation of theme category, but 1) anyone who has worked at a gas station, especially any sort of late shift, knows that that pretty much just is American Folklore, and 2) despite the late introduction of the actual folklore, I feel like its presence is pretty retroactively visible. I also don't mind the ambiguity of the later events. While I wish we got a little more post climax, I respect the decision to say what you have to, and then end it there.
Either way, it's easy for me to say that Pyrena is one of my favorites of the jam, and another Aderie banger. Martin, if you're looking to settle down, please call me. 😌
I'm glad there's no gameplay, sorry 😭
I know it's kind of the Kemonito signature to shoot for the stars and come up a little short in the span of the month. As a fellow student, i get it, I'm not a solo dev, i would die. It would kill me dead. I love birds! and I love the inspiration taken from the filipino folklore, I think this is a fun way to adapt the story to fit the wolf requirements. Really it's hard to say much more than "I like what's there... but it's very barebones." the sprites are nice, but there's only one for each age. The CGs are great... when they're finished. The writing... its suffering a lot. Lots of tense errors and ESL-isms that make it a bit of a challenge to read.
I'm looking forward to the finished version, but it needs not only the back half of the story, but lots of polish as well. Still, going off your previous work, I believe in you!
A Transforming Night to Remember! jam comments · Posted in A Transforming Night to Remember! jam comments
Admittedly I was hoping for another game in line with More Than Gold, because I thought it was fire, but I respect the return to form. I'm not the target audience, but it's well executed for what it is. Which is pretty much just porn. The pen is mightier than the sword, but the penis... is... sword?
knowit I appreciate the concern but this isn't based off the lenape (false) myth OR the cherokee tale 😭 I understand if you wanna flame me for adapting indigenous culture into the vn, but at the risk of doxxing myself, it's based off one of the local nimiipuu stories the elders tell from the rez near where I attend college. I picked this one over the story where raven turns himself into a pine needle, gets swallowed, and then birthed, and then steals the flame, because. uh. well. that's a lot harder to incorporate narratively, and the other story is about beavers stealing fire from pine trees, which isn't exactly relevant. If I had known there was a misattributed colonized version of a different tribes story floating around out there, I probably wouldn't have included it at all, but I promise that I'm not just throwing in whatever without understanding or researching it.
I'm leaving my review short purposefully because I think otherwise I'd be here writing about it all night. It's very cerebral, it's right up my alley, I liked it quite a lot.... I also think it will kill most casual readers. I hope you make a post mortem talking about your influences and thoughts, because I'm very curious what inspired you, and what this work meant to you... besides running out into traffic. great work!
When I said I would love for you to revisit your previous jam games, this isn't really what I meant, but I suppose I'm not complaining either. Quite the opposite in fact, an incredible entry. An entry with completely original components from head to toe to horn, and with a solo dev to boot! It's impressive, just in the sheer work required within a month to make a bunch of soundtracks, sprite variations, backgrounds, a couple of CGs, and of course writing the whole thing.
So much fun to read. Knowit tends to have straightforward writing, which can sometimes be a bit stiff to go through, but is never hard to read. Here the universe and the circumstances the characters find themselves in, keep us busy enough to never worry about dragging on or falling flat. Kali is an endearing and attractive protagonist, who works well with our wolf El. I adore the dynamic between the two, the way it remains consistent, the things about El that never change, and of course that all of them are named after angels. Shout out to his frankly MASSIVE bulge. insane. You cannot be swinging that thing about.
There's some choices I wouldn't have made... but I can't really critique them because that's just it. I wouldn't have made them but I can't fault them either. There's only two CGs, one after Kali enters a despondent fugue lamenting the pointlessness of his life after losing one of his Els (in fact, being forced to put a zombified one from his original post apocalyptic universe, down) and spots one he decides not engage with. The other... is when he reveals he has hypnosis abilities and uses them to placate a passerby who doesn't even have a sprite. Once again the raw amount of og assets used means two CGs alone is impressive, but We know why that was a focused one. I wish there were some sound effects, like the glass shattering mentioned several times, but I get that's hard to do.
I do think the story peters out a bit towards the end. The ending just kinda happens, after Kali drops into, and then recovers from, his understandable depressive episode. I wasn't really expecting a solution, but I did want just a little more of an Ending. Though I'm also a sucker for a good "I love you" and sequence with all the Els is so sweet and endearing. Overall it's still just a really enjoyable and unique piece, with the exciting ideas and world building I've come to enjoy, combined with Knowit's excellent character design tendencies. He continues to get better and better and I'm always looking forward to what's next!
I really love the use of implementation of the theme! How folklore changes between person to person, as well as colonization, is one of the most interesting things about studying it, and the dynamic of a modern student learning (and contrasting) from an elder is really endearing. Plus as someone who doesn't really enjoy gameplay in vns, it's nice to have one that has no fail state.
The story otherwise was sweet and simple, I like the little tidbits about the two characters, and it would've been nice to get more of them, as I think they're both more interesting than the stories presented. Also thank you for Chayon. Having a clock nonbinary character just about KILLED the cis people in my reading group, so job well done! I just wish they were a little less obfuscated by the gameplay.
I think this is a game with a lot of promise, that's held back by ambition perhaps too big for a jam game. It wears its STP inspirations on its sleeve, which I deeply respect, but it lacks the same expanse that is what made the many many combinations of STP so awe-inspiring. The art, especially the sense of design, is beautiful. But perhaps some CGs for some of the standout moments, like painting the stars back into the sky, would go a long way. I think it's a strong introduction, but without more, I find myself lacking investment in our trio. Frankly the moon does seem incredibly selfish, and his actions resulted in the death of his brother's spouse. I'd be upset too! Beyond "I love effeminate twinks" there's... just not a lot of compulsion to side with him.
The voice acting is fine, it works well enough, but I don't know if, for me personally, it adds enough to justify the amount of work it entails, or that it makes the lines where it occasionally doesn't work, all the more jarring. It's one of those things that I believe is really, really hard to pull off at the weird in between place of layperson and professional that a lot of us in the fandom occupy.
As for the folklore itself, I think that's my favorite part. I remember awhile back hearing about Sidapa and Bulan... and then finding out that the whole thing was fabricated, and that being a huge scandal. I know that a lot of Filipino culture was lost due to colonization, so sharing more of it, even reinterpreted, is a really noble choice. I do really hope you see this game through and finish it in its intended form.
I am a little embarrassed to admit that I did not realize it was the Dragon of Palma until we got to the actual dragon of Palma.
I think this is something to be proud of, making a game in the course of a month, but ultimately it leaves me wanting. It seems like it's an ambitious goal for the amount of time you had. The writing is charming, but needs a second pass. The combination of dnd classes and the og folktale I think kind of robs either of their identity. The biggest place the game suffers is in the art, and the presentation. The designs are charming, and the choreography does it best to makeup for it, but each sprite only has... one sprite. they're locked in a single expression, which is just absolutely fatal. The visual aspect of visual novels is huge, and the lack of CGs and sprite variation really puts a hamper on things. It ends up feeling tired and monotonous, especially with all the backgrounds being relatively dull desert colors for most of the game, followed by more dull color interiors. The lack of visual diversity starts to wear after awhile, especially when combined with the presentation. I assume it's coding errors, I know nothing about coding, so I can't recommend fixes, or claim to have done better, but oh my god the walking sfx gets pretty old even when it's supposed to be playing... and then... it just keeps going... forever.
It's not something to be ashamed of, this is only my second jam, and in both I've also definitely felt the "here's where the limitations are vs. the expectations I had," and it's been a learning experience both times. But in this case it's especially important to bear in mind what makes good visual novels good, and to make sure to prioritize incorporating them instead of shooting for the moon and going way off base.
Kemonito my strongest media literacy warrior, thank youuuuuuuu 😭😭😭😭
I am so glad you enjoyed it so much! it means a lot to hear it!!! AND THANK YOU FOR GETTING MY FOLKLORE REFERENCES. When the postmortem hits I'll do a full "here's all the things I pulled from!" but i'm glad you caught those. And yes everyone else went SO HARD on their parts, I'm so lucky I got to work with them. thank you again ;v;7
Hm hm hmmm, I quite enjoyed this. Just at the front I know some people might be put off from the loosey goosey pronouns used for Ren, but I'm willing to take it as "oh he's a he/they type baddy" which considering their character... well I appreciate it. This pace is pretty fragmented and fast, but I think it works. The music choices are not what I would have made, but I think that they actually lend themselves well to helping with the sort of surreal nature of the game.
I do have plenty of questions, how is Ren locating their targets, why the hell is a CEO walking to work, they're a compulsive liar and manipulator, so just how much of what they like in Lucan is the truth, etc.. I didn't "fall" for the trap with Ren, so when Tom appeared I wasn't too surprised, but I think that's more to the strength of the writing, giving the feeling of something being off, not just a manic pixie dream girl encounter, but something with an undercurrent of menace. Maybe because Lucan is so naive, or maybe because Ren has these small moments of menace that slip through the cracks, or their statement about lying. I'm curious where the story will go. Part of me hopes Ren's blackmail plan would fail simply because Lucan's family doesn't care enough now that he's served enough of his purpose, but that's my own little crack theory. Where this toxic yaoi goes next, I hope if you haven't started making part 2 already, you do now! I think it's a strong first showing, I absolutely love both the sprite art and the CGs, especially the close ups in the alley, and I can't wait for the rest!
The Burning of Tula Valdi's Zozobra jam comments · Posted in The Burning of Tula Valdi's Zozobra jam comments
The art and presentation of this game is... insane. It's phenomenal, Landi's art lends itself so much to the story that it truly couldn't exist without it. I know this is obvious to say, a visual novel couldn't exist without visuals, but woof. The music is gorgeous and well curated. There's more I want to talk about specifically the writing, Tula's possibly trans identity, their breakdowns, the real vs. the idealized, the nature of the soul vs. understanding how to breathe but...
Man what's up with the usage of the slur for romani in the year of our lord '26? I mean really I think Chmron's review says most of what I want to say about the game overall, but this is such a random sore spot that stands out that I feel it's worth reiterating. Not that I think the game is endorsing it, but it's still handled poorly and could use some touch up. I just don't think there's really a reason to ever use that word, at least certainly not in this story.
Edit: I've been informed one of the team members is roma, so I suppose that does strike a majority of my criticisms... though I do still think the point stands that it's jarring, and that the fortune teller's lack of existence, combined with the very idea of her being Tula's Zozobra, feels a bit... shallow. And I get it, because it's a sort of spiritualist practice (even though she seems to only deliver bad news), which goes against Tula's desperate need for the universe to make sense, for things to have logic and reason behind them, but I still think it gets muddied towards the end. Maybe, much like Tula, I need to get someone to talk things through with, because the ending leaves me a bit confused, the inner soliloquy about the king and queen dancing in the warmth that the firewood from the charred remains of the caravan. I really liked a lot of the work leading up to that... but I feel like it gets wobbly knees when trying to stick the landing. Tula very easily dismisses all the people in the story that aren't who they think the wolf is, but I don't think that means the narrative should as well. John's statement about the owl painting, Otto's comments about fate, even the wolf's argument about beauty and simplicity. I just want them pushed a little bit more. It feels poignant that Tula gets the same injury as their father, and finds his target, and fails to burn their first zozobra and instead burns the completely unfounded target of their ire as they sort of regress to this childish unhinged version of themself... but I'm lacking the thread to really pull all the twigs of this bundle together before tossing them into the flame. I feel like I just want every beat that comes up to be pushed just a little bit further. Gender, other people's perceptions of the world and of us, whether Tula is truly an antisocial narcissist or just poorly dealing with their own trauma, etc. It's not that I want a different ending, or better answers, I just want it to all be a bit more fleshed out so if and when Tula does just continue to make the wrong choices, it feels heavier, hits harder, and stands out on the level that the gorgeous art does.
As with every Strawberry Noodles production, often the thing that I find myself wishing for the most is simply More. I want more time with this world, and these characters, and the interactions between them. Not to imply it's not enough, it gets the job done. I just want to indulge. I find the dynamics you construct between characters fascinating, and compelling, and despite an outwardly similar set up, they're always so unique. I love that Lazarus can't help but love, and forgive, even though it hurts. It's just in their nature to do so. I especially like that their relationship with Cyryl by the end has become a bit blurred. Like there's the start of something, maybe. Lazarus already loves him, after all they can't help but love him, but just in what way, hm? I adore their reason for hating themself, and the way that it's resolved. I love that Cyryl has this survivor's guilt burden, like a captain that didn't go down with his ship, and I love his little bit of cheekiness hidden under his ashen knight persona. His entire concept is frankly just cool as fuck, I always love seeing people twist and play with concepts. As someone who did something similar once with a dryad, it hits a soft spot for me. And as everyone knows, I love life, and dying, and symbolism, so someone quite literally burning out despite surviving the impossible, while helping to resurrect someone else, is sooooo tasty. There's just back to back to back moments like these that compel me with how cool they are! They're fresh and exciting, and inspiring! It's the type of worldbuilding and dynamics and plotbeats that make me want to write more.
The translation is the weakest link, unfortunately, but I do think that the writing style comes through better now compared to some of the rougher first translations of the older work. I'm especially fond of "Because love you can" though I think it would benefit from a comma, reading as "Because love, you can." I think the prose also works better with the format of a visual novel. It no longer feels like I'm getting redundant descriptions of actions or expressions, and instead they expand on the relatively few and simple expressions that the characters have, though I do think they go a long ways. Most impressively is just how deeply integrated the folklore is with the game itself. It's a respectable size, and yet so many sentences have these other bits and pieces of folklore stitched into them. Some things that I've got cursory knowledge of, like szeptucha, some stories with my interpretations like Cygnus (teehee), and some I've frankly got no idea, but they all strike my attention without feeling overwhelming. The scene with Butwiala has an especially intriguing line, where Lazarus notes that gods should always have faces, usually three, but she has none, which just goes to show how powerful she is. Is that made up? is that tradition? i don't know, but I sure want to.
The art is gorgeous. Butwiala is especially striking, though I'm also partial to Birdie and Kitty and the little cameo of old friends at the end ;> The music reminds me, unsurprisingly, of the blue hour, at least on the main menu. This is one of those games I can really feel the time constraints in, so I hope you'll give it some more polish (no pun intended) post jam, because I think it deserves it, since it's already so strong. I wish some of the sprites were used a little bit more, sometimes a character is mentioned emoting something like happiness or anger, which there exist sprites for, but they remain in their neutral expressions. Anyway I look forward to whatever comes next from this group. You can expect me to be in the front row seats every time!
This is a hard one to rate, especially with my "by the vibes" kind of style. I have critiques, but I also really enjoyed it. First the sprite art and CGs are phenomenal, especially the jumpscare CG art. I didn't do much May Wolfing prior to 2025, but Sikyu's art style really appeals to me. I don't know if he was in charge of the outfits, but I love them. Raimondo's plum paisley hoodie is iconic. Out of the way Fede, I'll fuck him. I love the expressions, ":<" and ":3" are peak cat faces, and every expression Rai has, including his gagging on it face, are ridiculous and endearing. And the CGs add so much! I mean the Blowjob is really hot, but I think the scene especially with Anna stumbling in on Fede playing... sigh... Michael Buble... really does a lot to make up for some of what's missing from her POV.
Which is where we get into some of my critiques. It's a coming out story, at least partially, which I think is hard to write, and it's a bit disastrous if you do it wrong. I don't think it's done... badly. I just don't know if it's done super well either. The problem really just lies with the imbalance of Fede vs. Anna. Fede has a lot of inner dialogue, we get his pov, we get to understand him pretty well. He's a caring boyfriend, he's a relatively decent friend. Anna is our opening point of view, and we get that she's this careful and thought out woman, she seems to be considerate, and like she chews her food (and her thoughts) before she swallows. But then we kinda lose her for awhile in exchange for all the set up, and when we get her back, we soon swap out for the Rai blahblahblah scene, which is good. But it's just a lot of lost opportunity to flesh her out more, give more of her own backstory, and history of the couple. It feels out of nowhere when she has this homophobic crashout, which I get is partially the point. We get little hints that she probably has some upbringings that play against her, the corinthians and priest reference, the parents mention, the worrying about idolatry etc, but like. Come on, she likes modern art. And I do love the conversation she has with the polyhedron.
I think her parts are really interesting! It's just we're missing the rest of it. It feels like she hasn't been fleshed out enough. I don't think the solution is par down Fede's part, because I can't necessarily think of any section that feels superfluous. We just need more Anna to help justify her issues, and her personal journey and how it's reflected in the experience of Lady Giuditta. Why does she love him enough to overcome her base homophobic gut reaction. And then when she shows back up she just leads with "I love you"? That feels out of character. She lead with that instead of an apology? I also think Lady Giuditta's story is underutilized. I think it's sweet that we get this truth behind her story, which means she didn't even benefit from her own legend. BUT THEN ANNA DESTROYED ONE OF THE MOST VALUABLE PIECES OF THE COLLECTION AND DOESN'T BOTHER TO MENTION THAT TO POOR RIO??? Maybe we can blame the cleaning lady? Also, I want to know the wishes. We sorta bring it up, and we forget about it with Anna and Fede, since it's clear that they don't need it (since we at least know Fede as wishing for his reveal to go well) and they leave the house. But Rio, Rio stays behind. Don't worry Rio I'll be your rebound 😏 But it does leave me wanting more after the denouement at the end. For all those reasons.
BACKGROUNDS the backgrounds are great. Thanks Kerche and Nate for taking such good pictures that also lend themselves to this faux chateau. Loudo's photoshop magic is impressive, but it's one singular flaw is the portrait of Lady Giuditta. I would rather look at nothing than the 19th century fursuitter. It's just genuinely unpleasant to look at, and it distracts from the important lore we're getting. Because otherwise it's really good! Love the bit about the wolf pack, the three of them, the potential friendship between Anna and Rio... deSPITE ONCE AGAIN DESTROYING A HISTORIC RELIC. Ugh it's one of those cases where I have so much to say because it's so good. I just want it to go a little farther. The music for instance is well done, and making sure to put the tonal cues on the sound layer. It's got great presentation, and the prose flows easily between the two authors, and I really can only recognize it because I read a lot and am familiar with the two authors. You both did great work, and you should be proud of what you've done. GO FINISH YOUR PREVIOUS WORK YOU GODDAMN BASTARDS, STOP TAKING ON NEW PROJECTS AND FINISH YOUR FUCKING MEALS!!!!
Putting the "sweet" in short and sweet! I think the Badger's Moon has a really interesting set up and premise... and comes with a lot of "givens" the reader has to accept that may be a barrier to some. Like arranged marriage... arranged gay marriage, specifically, as well as the benefits/reasoning that the wasgo have for marrying off. I believe William makes a passive mention about helping the family business, but it's a bit lacking overall. Still I think it was a really interesting way to include the folklore theme, not only pulling on two really different sources, but building the story around them. The prose itself is a little lacking, just very plain, but it's made up for how cute the couple is. I also think two months is a good time frame to have them settle in with each other, without being too long that it feels weird that they haven't already talked things out. And I love that they talk things out! It takes a little bit of a push, but they're upfront about their feelings, and this helps clear up their misunderstandings and pave the way for the rest of their marriage. An enjoyable little read that understood the assignment and didn't overstay its welcome. Great work!
Thank you for the feedback! I talked with my codirector and admittedly I think our goal going in was less "all quiet on the western front" and more "he looks so hot in fur and armor like that." Like yeah fair, I was out here imagining Ulfor doing some wall bounce michael sword combo musuo game shit. I don't think there's such a thing as a good war, but I'm also not immune to how cool a guy with a big sword can be. I wanted it to less about the Horrors of War (and the war itself, I find traditional war stories really boring unless there's like lasers or monsters or whatever) and just more about the species disenfranchised by the folklore around them, and less about war and exploring the human cost around that (beyond the personal cost) because I knew I didn't have the interest or the time required to really pursue anything beyond that. If the aura farming failed to live up to the hype, then so be it, I'm glad you enjoyed the parts that you did either way!
If I didn't have integrity I would give you five stars for knowing the difference between caliburn and excalibur alone.
In all seriousness I think you did a great job. Arthurian Legend is a personal favorite of mine, and I appreciate utilizing it in the campaign, along with the way it at first mirrors the start of Tyler's downward spiral, before switching to killing off characters to adjust to their real life counterparts developing obligations that keep them from playing. The (original) art is very charming, I like that Tyler goes from being the dashing king Arthur to a vagabond equally as scrawny and timid seeming as his real life counterpart. The unique sprites are good, I wish maybe they'd been for main characters instead of a couple that we only see for a few lines, but I suppose you already had the dnd equivalents baked in with the premade assets. The unique backgrounds in the sessions are my favorite part. Getting the DnD out of the way, I think you captured the vibe of a tabletop session really well, both in how good banter between players (and DM) looks, and also reminding me that specifically DnD is just not fun as a system, which means you must have portrayed it accurately ;> The presentation is crafty with the Eyes of God and their color changes and how they're represented as the DM's voice vs. that of the Mental Illness, which is where the real meat and potatoes of this story lie.
It always feels counterintuitive to say that depression, at least the kind that revolves heavily around self hatred, is a self obsessed and narcissistic disorder. But I think the writing really captures how well the oxymoronic fallacy of thinking that you should be better (than fate, or other people, or god, etc) and able to control all of this, which is why it's your fault. Sometimes this shit just happens, sometimes the chemicals in our brains don't work right, sometimes we make mistakes (we're only human after all). But in the way depression and self loathing distort the way we view the world, especially if we take a fall after doing so well, it compounds into a self fulfilling prophecy, just as it says. Every thing that goes wrong links directly back to yourself, even if it really doesn't. It's a good representation, it's spot on, and it plays so well with the dynamic of the fantasy world and illusion of control he's trying to maintain, along with the metaphor of choice, the butterfly effect. It's well utilized, and it makes for some really poignant imagery.
Personally, I appreciate the conversation with Tyler and Tristan at the end. The lone wolf/your wolf is cute wordplay, and I think it's endearing that he works so hard to avoid leaving any gaps to fill in with more cognitive distortions (not that he uses those words). SPEAKING OF WORDS I don't know when, where, or why "two people communicating their feelings directly" became "therapy speak" but whatever!!! I think it's well done, and if ever there's time to be telling people directly your feelings and trying to be patient and help them understand, it's a situation like that. Good work, looking forward to your larger project in the future.
I think this was really style over substance. And the Style was really well executed! But it also ultimately left me wanting. At the end of the day this is just a short retelling of the wolf of gubbio, which wouldn't be inherently bad but the unique things it brings to table through this retelling are just unused. "The wolf is a bipedal sentient man with his own culture and problems" is a great concept but nothing is really that different from the original story itself, except that we add on a bonus "humans are naturally inclined to suck" statement at the end. The Wolf's feelings for the friar are rejected in a sentence or two, because they decide the wolf belongs with the city and the friar belongs journeying for god. There's not really anything that pays off about this, and though we find out the friar ends up being wrong, there's not really any recompense or time to think about that.
It's an impressive writing exercise, but ultimately feels lacking as a visual novel, and the concepts introduced that are unique to this format end up being irrelevant to the narrative as a whole.
It's porn! I went on wolf island vacation and all I got was fucked in the ass by 4 wolves. There's not a lot to say really. It's missing... uh.. everything when it comes to the engine. There's click to go forward, and a main menu that's start and quit. I respect writing a porn scenario and then coming up with some loose plot to surround it with o7, but I wish I could change the settings, without a doubt, as others have said, that's the biggest thing missing.
To demand a little bit more, i wish the wolves looked different from each other, they're all rocking pretty much identical faces, body types, and personalities, with some minor details like eyebrows, colors, and heights being the only real difference between them. It's porn first and everything else second, and while the art and presentation do a great job, I think you can elevate it even more by fleshing out the rest (and letting people go back, control the text, the sound, whether or not it's in full screen, etc)
still, a lot of work for a solo dev, and it sounds like you had fun, and I respect any project that starts out with a goal in mind, and accomplishes it
I had beckett for five seconds only and I... sniffle... I.... ;v;....
I'm always a sucker for Dead Wife, and acceptance, and letting go and moving on, and I think tackling it from the other side is a good twist on the formula. Short and sweet, even with such little time together with the characters I think you do a really good job of setting up just how much Rhett meant to them. Moving on is hard, and seeing someone move on from you has to be even harder. I think the responses are all realistic to have in the situation. Good work, and I hope to see more from you in the future!