I'm leaving my review short purposefully because I think otherwise I'd be here writing about it all night. It's very cerebral, it's right up my alley, I liked it quite a lot.... I also think it will kill most casual readers. I hope you make a post mortem talking about your influences and thoughts, because I'm very curious what inspired you, and what this work meant to you... besides running out into traffic. great work!
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When I said I would love for you to revisit your previous jam games, this isn't really what I meant, but I suppose I'm not complaining either. Quite the opposite in fact, an incredible entry. An entry with completely original components from head to toe to horn, and with a solo dev to boot! It's impressive, just in the sheer work required within a month to make a bunch of soundtracks, sprite variations, backgrounds, a couple of CGs, and of course writing the whole thing.
So much fun to read. Knowit tends to have straightforward writing, which can sometimes be a bit stiff to go through, but is never hard to read. Here the universe and the circumstances the characters find themselves in, keep us busy enough to never worry about dragging on or falling flat. Kali is an endearing and attractive protagonist, who works well with our wolf El. I adore the dynamic between the two, the way it remains consistent, the things about El that never change, and of course that all of them are named after angels. Shout out to his frankly MASSIVE bulge. insane. You cannot be swinging that thing about.
There's some choices I wouldn't have made... but I can't really critique them because that's just it. I wouldn't have made them but I can't fault them either. There's only two CGs, one after Kali enters a despondent fugue lamenting the pointlessness of his life after losing one of his Els (in fact, being forced to put a zombified one from his original post apocalyptic universe, down) and spots one he decides not engage with. The other... is when he reveals he has hypnosis abilities and uses them to placate a passerby who doesn't even have a sprite. Once again the raw amount of og assets used means two CGs alone is impressive, but We know why that was a focused one. I wish there were some sound effects, like the glass shattering mentioned several times, but I get that's hard to do.
I do think the story peters out a bit towards the end. The ending just kinda happens, after Kali drops into, and then recovers from, his understandable depressive episode. I wasn't really expecting a solution, but I did want just a little more of an Ending. Though I'm also a sucker for a good "I love you" and sequence with all the Els is so sweet and endearing. Overall it's still just a really enjoyable and unique piece, with the exciting ideas and world building I've come to enjoy, combined with Knowit's excellent character design tendencies. He continues to get better and better and I'm always looking forward to what's next!
I really love the use of implementation of the theme! How folklore changes between person to person, as well as colonization, is one of the most interesting things about studying it, and the dynamic of a modern student learning (and contrasting) from an elder is really endearing. Plus as someone who doesn't really enjoy gameplay in vns, it's nice to have one that has no fail state.
The story otherwise was sweet and simple, I like the little tidbits about the two characters, and it would've been nice to get more of them, as I think they're both more interesting than the stories presented. Also thank you for Chayon. Having a clock nonbinary character just about KILLED the cis people in my reading group, so job well done! I just wish they were a little less obfuscated by the gameplay.
I think this is a game with a lot of promise, that's held back by ambition perhaps too big for a jam game. It wears its STP inspirations on its sleeve, which I deeply respect, but it lacks the same expanse that is what made the many many combinations of STP so awe-inspiring. The art, especially the sense of design, is beautiful. But perhaps some CGs for some of the standout moments, like painting the stars back into the sky, would go a long way. I think it's a strong introduction, but without more, I find myself lacking investment in our trio. Frankly the moon does seem incredibly selfish, and his actions resulted in the death of his brother's spouse. I'd be upset too! Beyond "I love effeminate twinks" there's... just not a lot of compulsion to side with him.
The voice acting is fine, it works well enough, but I don't know if, for me personally, it adds enough to justify the amount of work it entails, or that it makes the lines where it occasionally doesn't work, all the more jarring. It's one of those things that I believe is really, really hard to pull off at the weird in between place of layperson and professional that a lot of us in the fandom occupy.
As for the folklore itself, I think that's my favorite part. I remember awhile back hearing about Sidapa and Bulan... and then finding out that the whole thing was fabricated, and that being a huge scandal. I know that a lot of Filipino culture was lost due to colonization, so sharing more of it, even reinterpreted, is a really noble choice. I do really hope you see this game through and finish it in its intended form.
I am a little embarrassed to admit that I did not realize it was the Dragon of Palma until we got to the actual dragon of Palma.
I think this is something to be proud of, making a game in the course of a month, but ultimately it leaves me wanting. It seems like it's an ambitious goal for the amount of time you had. The writing is charming, but needs a second pass. The combination of dnd classes and the og folktale I think kind of robs either of their identity. The biggest place the game suffers is in the art, and the presentation. The designs are charming, and the choreography does it best to makeup for it, but each sprite only has... one sprite. they're locked in a single expression, which is just absolutely fatal. The visual aspect of visual novels is huge, and the lack of CGs and sprite variation really puts a hamper on things. It ends up feeling tired and monotonous, especially with all the backgrounds being relatively dull desert colors for most of the game, followed by more dull color interiors. The lack of visual diversity starts to wear after awhile, especially when combined with the presentation. I assume it's coding errors, I know nothing about coding, so I can't recommend fixes, or claim to have done better, but oh my god the walking sfx gets pretty old even when it's supposed to be playing... and then... it just keeps going... forever.
It's not something to be ashamed of, this is only my second jam, and in both I've also definitely felt the "here's where the limitations are vs. the expectations I had," and it's been a learning experience both times. But in this case it's especially important to bear in mind what makes good visual novels good, and to make sure to prioritize incorporating them instead of shooting for the moon and going way off base.
Kemonito my strongest media literacy warrior, thank youuuuuuuu 😭😭😭😭
I am so glad you enjoyed it so much! it means a lot to hear it!!! AND THANK YOU FOR GETTING MY FOLKLORE REFERENCES. When the postmortem hits I'll do a full "here's all the things I pulled from!" but i'm glad you caught those. And yes everyone else went SO HARD on their parts, I'm so lucky I got to work with them. thank you again ;v;7
Hm hm hmmm, I quite enjoyed this. Just at the front I know some people might be put off from the loosey goosey pronouns used for Ren, but I'm willing to take it as "oh he's a he/they type baddy" which considering their character... well I appreciate it. This pace is pretty fragmented and fast, but I think it works. The music choices are not what I would have made, but I think that they actually lend themselves well to helping with the sort of surreal nature of the game.
I do have plenty of questions, how is Ren locating their targets, why the hell is a CEO walking to work, they're a compulsive liar and manipulator, so just how much of what they like in Lucan is the truth, etc.. I didn't "fall" for the trap with Ren, so when Tom appeared I wasn't too surprised, but I think that's more to the strength of the writing, giving the feeling of something being off, not just a manic pixie dream girl encounter, but something with an undercurrent of menace. Maybe because Lucan is so naive, or maybe because Ren has these small moments of menace that slip through the cracks, or their statement about lying. I'm curious where the story will go. Part of me hopes Ren's blackmail plan would fail simply because Lucan's family doesn't care enough now that he's served enough of his purpose, but that's my own little crack theory. Where this toxic yaoi goes next, I hope if you haven't started making part 2 already, you do now! I think it's a strong first showing, I absolutely love both the sprite art and the CGs, especially the close ups in the alley, and I can't wait for the rest!
The Burning of Tula Valdi's Zozobra jam comments · Posted in The Burning of Tula Valdi's Zozobra jam comments
The art and presentation of this game is... insane. It's phenomenal, Landi's art lends itself so much to the story that it truly couldn't exist without it. I know this is obvious to say, a visual novel couldn't exist without visuals, but woof. The music is gorgeous and well curated. There's more I want to talk about specifically the writing, Tula's possibly trans identity, their breakdowns, the real vs. the idealized, the nature of the soul vs. understanding how to breathe but...
Man what's up with the usage of the slur for romani in the year of our lord '26? I mean really I think Chmron's review says most of what I want to say about the game overall, but this is such a random sore spot that stands out that I feel it's worth reiterating. Not that I think the game is endorsing it, but it's still handled poorly and could use some touch up. I just don't think there's really a reason to ever use that word, at least certainly not in this story.
Edit: I've been informed one of the team members is roma, so I suppose that does strike a majority of my criticisms... though I do still think the point stands that it's jarring, and that the fortune teller's lack of existence, combined with the very idea of her being Tula's Zozobra, feels a bit... shallow. And I get it, because it's a sort of spiritualist practice (even though she seems to only deliver bad news), which goes against Tula's desperate need for the universe to make sense, for things to have logic and reason behind them, but I still think it gets muddied towards the end. Maybe, much like Tula, I need to get someone to talk things through with, because the ending leaves me a bit confused, the inner soliloquy about the king and queen dancing in the warmth that the firewood from the charred remains of the caravan. I really liked a lot of the work leading up to that... but I feel like it gets wobbly knees when trying to stick the landing. Tula very easily dismisses all the people in the story that aren't who they think the wolf is, but I don't think that means the narrative should as well. John's statement about the owl painting, Otto's comments about fate, even the wolf's argument about beauty and simplicity. I just want them pushed a little bit more. It feels poignant that Tula gets the same injury as their father, and finds his target, and fails to burn their first zozobra and instead burns the completely unfounded target of their ire as they sort of regress to this childish unhinged version of themself... but I'm lacking the thread to really pull all the twigs of this bundle together before tossing them into the flame. I feel like I just want every beat that comes up to be pushed just a little bit further. Gender, other people's perceptions of the world and of us, whether Tula is truly an antisocial narcissist or just poorly dealing with their own trauma, etc. It's not that I want a different ending, or better answers, I just want it to all be a bit more fleshed out so if and when Tula does just continue to make the wrong choices, it feels heavier, hits harder, and stands out on the level that the gorgeous art does.
As with every Strawberry Noodles production, often the thing that I find myself wishing for the most is simply More. I want more time with this world, and these characters, and the interactions between them. Not to imply it's not enough, it gets the job done. I just want to indulge. I find the dynamics you construct between characters fascinating, and compelling, and despite an outwardly similar set up, they're always so unique. I love that Lazarus can't help but love, and forgive, even though it hurts. It's just in their nature to do so. I especially like that their relationship with Cyryl by the end has become a bit blurred. Like there's the start of something, maybe. Lazarus already loves him, after all they can't help but love him, but just in what way, hm? I adore their reason for hating themself, and the way that it's resolved. I love that Cyryl has this survivor's guilt burden, like a captain that didn't go down with his ship, and I love his little bit of cheekiness hidden under his ashen knight persona. His entire concept is frankly just cool as fuck, I always love seeing people twist and play with concepts. As someone who did something similar once with a dryad, it hits a soft spot for me. And as everyone knows, I love life, and dying, and symbolism, so someone quite literally burning out despite surviving the impossible, while helping to resurrect someone else, is sooooo tasty. There's just back to back to back moments like these that compel me with how cool they are! They're fresh and exciting, and inspiring! It's the type of worldbuilding and dynamics and plotbeats that make me want to write more.
The translation is the weakest link, unfortunately, but I do think that the writing style comes through better now compared to some of the rougher first translations of the older work. I'm especially fond of "Because love you can" though I think it would benefit from a comma, reading as "Because love, you can." I think the prose also works better with the format of a visual novel. It no longer feels like I'm getting redundant descriptions of actions or expressions, and instead they expand on the relatively few and simple expressions that the characters have, though I do think they go a long ways. Most impressively is just how deeply integrated the folklore is with the game itself. It's a respectable size, and yet so many sentences have these other bits and pieces of folklore stitched into them. Some things that I've got cursory knowledge of, like szeptucha, some stories with my interpretations like Cygnus (teehee), and some I've frankly got no idea, but they all strike my attention without feeling overwhelming. The scene with Butwiala has an especially intriguing line, where Lazarus notes that gods should always have faces, usually three, but she has none, which just goes to show how powerful she is. Is that made up? is that tradition? i don't know, but I sure want to.
The art is gorgeous. Butwiala is especially striking, though I'm also partial to Birdie and Kitty and the little cameo of old friends at the end ;> The music reminds me, unsurprisingly, of the blue hour, at least on the main menu. This is one of those games I can really feel the time constraints in, so I hope you'll give it some more polish (no pun intended) post jam, because I think it deserves it, since it's already so strong. I wish some of the sprites were used a little bit more, sometimes a character is mentioned emoting something like happiness or anger, which there exist sprites for, but they remain in their neutral expressions. Anyway I look forward to whatever comes next from this group. You can expect me to be in the front row seats every time!
This is a hard one to rate, especially with my "by the vibes" kind of style. I have critiques, but I also really enjoyed it. First the sprite art and CGs are phenomenal, especially the jumpscare CG art. I didn't do much May Wolfing prior to 2025, but Sikyu's art style really appeals to me. I don't know if he was in charge of the outfits, but I love them. Raimondo's plum paisley hoodie is iconic. Out of the way Fede, I'll fuck him. I love the expressions, ":<" and ":3" are peak cat faces, and every expression Rai has, including his gagging on it face, are ridiculous and endearing. And the CGs add so much! I mean the Blowjob is really hot, but I think the scene especially with Anna stumbling in on Fede playing... sigh... Michael Buble... really does a lot to make up for some of what's missing from her POV.
Which is where we get into some of my critiques. It's a coming out story, at least partially, which I think is hard to write, and it's a bit disastrous if you do it wrong. I don't think it's done... badly. I just don't know if it's done super well either. The problem really just lies with the imbalance of Fede vs. Anna. Fede has a lot of inner dialogue, we get his pov, we get to understand him pretty well. He's a caring boyfriend, he's a relatively decent friend. Anna is our opening point of view, and we get that she's this careful and thought out woman, she seems to be considerate, and like she chews her food (and her thoughts) before she swallows. But then we kinda lose her for awhile in exchange for all the set up, and when we get her back, we soon swap out for the Rai blahblahblah scene, which is good. But it's just a lot of lost opportunity to flesh her out more, give more of her own backstory, and history of the couple. It feels out of nowhere when she has this homophobic crashout, which I get is partially the point. We get little hints that she probably has some upbringings that play against her, the corinthians and priest reference, the parents mention, the worrying about idolatry etc, but like. Come on, she likes modern art. And I do love the conversation she has with the polyhedron.
I think her parts are really interesting! It's just we're missing the rest of it. It feels like she hasn't been fleshed out enough. I don't think the solution is par down Fede's part, because I can't necessarily think of any section that feels superfluous. We just need more Anna to help justify her issues, and her personal journey and how it's reflected in the experience of Lady Giuditta. Why does she love him enough to overcome her base homophobic gut reaction. And then when she shows back up she just leads with "I love you"? That feels out of character. She lead with that instead of an apology? I also think Lady Giuditta's story is underutilized. I think it's sweet that we get this truth behind her story, which means she didn't even benefit from her own legend. BUT THEN ANNA DESTROYED ONE OF THE MOST VALUABLE PIECES OF THE COLLECTION AND DOESN'T BOTHER TO MENTION THAT TO POOR RIO??? Maybe we can blame the cleaning lady? Also, I want to know the wishes. We sorta bring it up, and we forget about it with Anna and Fede, since it's clear that they don't need it (since we at least know Fede as wishing for his reveal to go well) and they leave the house. But Rio, Rio stays behind. Don't worry Rio I'll be your rebound 😏 But it does leave me wanting more after the denouement at the end. For all those reasons.
BACKGROUNDS the backgrounds are great. Thanks Kerche and Nate for taking such good pictures that also lend themselves to this faux chateau. Loudo's photoshop magic is impressive, but it's one singular flaw is the portrait of Lady Giuditta. I would rather look at nothing than the 19th century fursuitter. It's just genuinely unpleasant to look at, and it distracts from the important lore we're getting. Because otherwise it's really good! Love the bit about the wolf pack, the three of them, the potential friendship between Anna and Rio... deSPITE ONCE AGAIN DESTROYING A HISTORIC RELIC. Ugh it's one of those cases where I have so much to say because it's so good. I just want it to go a little farther. The music for instance is well done, and making sure to put the tonal cues on the sound layer. It's got great presentation, and the prose flows easily between the two authors, and I really can only recognize it because I read a lot and am familiar with the two authors. You both did great work, and you should be proud of what you've done. GO FINISH YOUR PREVIOUS WORK YOU GODDAMN BASTARDS, STOP TAKING ON NEW PROJECTS AND FINISH YOUR FUCKING MEALS!!!!
Putting the "sweet" in short and sweet! I think the Badger's Moon has a really interesting set up and premise... and comes with a lot of "givens" the reader has to accept that may be a barrier to some. Like arranged marriage... arranged gay marriage, specifically, as well as the benefits/reasoning that the wasgo have for marrying off. I believe William makes a passive mention about helping the family business, but it's a bit lacking overall. Still I think it was a really interesting way to include the folklore theme, not only pulling on two really different sources, but building the story around them. The prose itself is a little lacking, just very plain, but it's made up for how cute the couple is. I also think two months is a good time frame to have them settle in with each other, without being too long that it feels weird that they haven't already talked things out. And I love that they talk things out! It takes a little bit of a push, but they're upfront about their feelings, and this helps clear up their misunderstandings and pave the way for the rest of their marriage. An enjoyable little read that understood the assignment and didn't overstay its welcome. Great work!
Thank you for the feedback! I talked with my codirector and admittedly I think our goal going in was less "all quiet on the western front" and more "he looks so hot in fur and armor like that." Like yeah fair, I was out here imagining Ulfor doing some wall bounce michael sword combo musuo game shit. I don't think there's such a thing as a good war, but I'm also not immune to how cool a guy with a big sword can be. I wanted it to less about the Horrors of War (and the war itself, I find traditional war stories really boring unless there's like lasers or monsters or whatever) and just more about the species disenfranchised by the folklore around them, and less about war and exploring the human cost around that (beyond the personal cost) because I knew I didn't have the interest or the time required to really pursue anything beyond that. If the aura farming failed to live up to the hype, then so be it, I'm glad you enjoyed the parts that you did either way!
If I didn't have integrity I would give you five stars for knowing the difference between caliburn and excalibur alone.
In all seriousness I think you did a great job. Arthurian Legend is a personal favorite of mine, and I appreciate utilizing it in the campaign, along with the way it at first mirrors the start of Tyler's downward spiral, before switching to killing off characters to adjust to their real life counterparts developing obligations that keep them from playing. The (original) art is very charming, I like that Tyler goes from being the dashing king Arthur to a vagabond equally as scrawny and timid seeming as his real life counterpart. The unique sprites are good, I wish maybe they'd been for main characters instead of a couple that we only see for a few lines, but I suppose you already had the dnd equivalents baked in with the premade assets. The unique backgrounds in the sessions are my favorite part. Getting the DnD out of the way, I think you captured the vibe of a tabletop session really well, both in how good banter between players (and DM) looks, and also reminding me that specifically DnD is just not fun as a system, which means you must have portrayed it accurately ;> The presentation is crafty with the Eyes of God and their color changes and how they're represented as the DM's voice vs. that of the Mental Illness, which is where the real meat and potatoes of this story lie.
It always feels counterintuitive to say that depression, at least the kind that revolves heavily around self hatred, is a self obsessed and narcissistic disorder. But I think the writing really captures how well the oxymoronic fallacy of thinking that you should be better (than fate, or other people, or god, etc) and able to control all of this, which is why it's your fault. Sometimes this shit just happens, sometimes the chemicals in our brains don't work right, sometimes we make mistakes (we're only human after all). But in the way depression and self loathing distort the way we view the world, especially if we take a fall after doing so well, it compounds into a self fulfilling prophecy, just as it says. Every thing that goes wrong links directly back to yourself, even if it really doesn't. It's a good representation, it's spot on, and it plays so well with the dynamic of the fantasy world and illusion of control he's trying to maintain, along with the metaphor of choice, the butterfly effect. It's well utilized, and it makes for some really poignant imagery.
Personally, I appreciate the conversation with Tyler and Tristan at the end. The lone wolf/your wolf is cute wordplay, and I think it's endearing that he works so hard to avoid leaving any gaps to fill in with more cognitive distortions (not that he uses those words). SPEAKING OF WORDS I don't know when, where, or why "two people communicating their feelings directly" became "therapy speak" but whatever!!! I think it's well done, and if ever there's time to be telling people directly your feelings and trying to be patient and help them understand, it's a situation like that. Good work, looking forward to your larger project in the future.
I think this was really style over substance. And the Style was really well executed! But it also ultimately left me wanting. At the end of the day this is just a short retelling of the wolf of gubbio, which wouldn't be inherently bad but the unique things it brings to table through this retelling are just unused. "The wolf is a bipedal sentient man with his own culture and problems" is a great concept but nothing is really that different from the original story itself, except that we add on a bonus "humans are naturally inclined to suck" statement at the end. The Wolf's feelings for the friar are rejected in a sentence or two, because they decide the wolf belongs with the city and the friar belongs journeying for god. There's not really anything that pays off about this, and though we find out the friar ends up being wrong, there's not really any recompense or time to think about that.
It's an impressive writing exercise, but ultimately feels lacking as a visual novel, and the concepts introduced that are unique to this format end up being irrelevant to the narrative as a whole.
It's porn! I went on wolf island vacation and all I got was fucked in the ass by 4 wolves. There's not a lot to say really. It's missing... uh.. everything when it comes to the engine. There's click to go forward, and a main menu that's start and quit. I respect writing a porn scenario and then coming up with some loose plot to surround it with o7, but I wish I could change the settings, without a doubt, as others have said, that's the biggest thing missing.
To demand a little bit more, i wish the wolves looked different from each other, they're all rocking pretty much identical faces, body types, and personalities, with some minor details like eyebrows, colors, and heights being the only real difference between them. It's porn first and everything else second, and while the art and presentation do a great job, I think you can elevate it even more by fleshing out the rest (and letting people go back, control the text, the sound, whether or not it's in full screen, etc)
still, a lot of work for a solo dev, and it sounds like you had fun, and I respect any project that starts out with a goal in mind, and accomplishes it
I had beckett for five seconds only and I... sniffle... I.... ;v;....
I'm always a sucker for Dead Wife, and acceptance, and letting go and moving on, and I think tackling it from the other side is a good twist on the formula. Short and sweet, even with such little time together with the characters I think you do a really good job of setting up just how much Rhett meant to them. Moving on is hard, and seeing someone move on from you has to be even harder. I think the responses are all realistic to have in the situation. Good work, and I hope to see more from you in the future!
"Can I come over and stare at you like this while we frot" - me to my partner along with a screenshot from the game
Gonna start with that I really liked the game and its pretense, and as always I appreciate someone swinging for/on behalf of the trans homies. The presentation is phenomenal, the way the music compliments the difference between Regular Mormon Junior and Oliver, the guitar riffs on the werewolf reveals, the CGs. As always it's the level of tight production quality I expect from a Corvus production ;> I think it's also fun seeing where your art has come from, from your first vn last year!
Speaking of last year, it's interesting to see the change of... opinion? Sensibility? I'm not sure exactly how to phrase it, but I remember very well Route 19 having a lynching as a tool of justice, and here we see lynching as the hate crime it is. The story is where my problems are, however. I think the overall arc makes sense, and the prose is just fine, but I think the overall is a bit ambitious to fit into a game jam. At 24,922 words I see we're really edging that limit, so I think it's just a scope greater than what you can fit into a jam with a word limit. Because the pacing is what suffers. We just jump through plot beat by plot beat, and I think that leaves us with a lot of heavy things or revelations that don't have time to sit, or be processed. Ollie finds out he's queer, he's a werewolf, he kills someone, he has to permanently become a werewolf, god may or may not be real but the moon spirit probably is, his church sucks, his dad killed his mom, his people are oppressed, etc, all in the course of a month and we just kind of move from beat to beat like "well, never felt this way before. but there's only 15k words left and we've got several action scenes, so no time for that." I will excuse him telling Luis that he loves him since this is first, and it's pretty easy to get a bit eager with that. I do think there's some leaps in logic that suffer as well. I get Oliver feeling inspired and like he has to do something, with regards to the 50 person protest... but also no one told him that was a terrible idea? Werewolves are open season and strung up in the streets and no one took the time to go "dude if we gather all in one place they'll just cut us down because they think we're subhuman or worse?" I just feel like we didn't really think this one through.
And I get killing your dad probably changes you fundamentally, but it feels like quite a jump from who he was to "i have to become a revolutionary werewolf super soldier." I think we also suffer the zootopia problem where there are legitimately dangerous things about werewolves. I mean turning into something you have no choice over is a very classic queer horror trope, and I've got a lot of respect for it, but we've got a lot of things that parody queer struggles, but racial struggles as well. And historically there are a lot of crossover there! A lot of our queer rights frontrunners were also bipoc! But the thing about race and identity is that they're not meaningful separations between us. On the flip side, werewolves are very much capable of killing people unarmed, and if they don't transform on the bloodmoon they turn into raging body horror monsters. Luis also speaks several times about how humans are scum, which doesn't really get any pushback. It just comes across very Black and White, Good and Evil, and I don't think it's ever that simple.
Sorry Rhettoe I feel like I always open all my feedback for you with "Great work, he's several paragraphs of my problems" 😭 but I genuinely think it's because your work has so much to like about it and such good ideas that it opens opportunity for feedback! You've got a phenomenal output, and really ambitious ideas that I think you, for the most part, back up pretty well. I'm impressed, and I hope you're proud of yourself! As always I look forward to what you make next and getting to the theatre once i finish all these maywolves
WOOOOOOO YEAHHHHH WOOOO *FOAMING AT THE MOUTH*
I've got some critiques because I'm inescapably picky, but lemme just say Common Raykyu W. Every time there's a team eclipse blushing sprite (specifically drawn by him), my life extends a few years. I know he's in charge of the design work as well, and I think it really goes to show just how much he's grown. Love a man with a mane, Korpa dm me. The warbear is sick as hell.
I don't know if this game is exactly challenging any brave new frontiers, it's not an unusual fantasy set up. But I don't think everything has to be a deconstruction or a twist or anything like that. To be honest if we're just telling a standard fantasy story but it's 1) gay and 2) furry, that's enough of a difference from the norm for me. I think the names are good, because it's hard to balance Fantasy Enough Names with Normal Names without them clashing, but having a Chris amongst Korpa and Manfrey and Ferdinand didn't feel weird. I like the personalities, I think it would be really easy to have 3 characters that are both a bit snappy and a bit sarcastic blend into each other, but they manage to each hold their own ground as distinct identities. I also just like the archetypes the main two embody. Healer who packs a punch is a soft spot of mine, but I also especially like when there's a sword master who embodies his swordplay in aspects outside of combat. Fencing (and most formal types of fighting) are really complicated and involve things like feints, misdirection, defense, offense, etc, and I think that translating that into other aspects of his character, like being a spy, or a general, is something you should really lean into even more as the story goes on.
A lot of my critiques lay with this being a jam entry, so I'm just gonna blast those real quick. There's not really any blocking, the (gorgeous) sprites face away from each other half the time, sometimes the music loops just a bit too quickly, or comes in in weird places, some of the sentence structure is very ESL, stuff that happens when you're Crunching, and I know they'll be ironed out later since this is a longform project (which I'll get to later). I've got two real critiques. Firstly, some of the names. "My Tainted Life" sounds... I mean I get how the miasma and the tainted interact with the story, but it sounds like a light novel isekai title that's missing a few words. Unfortunately the meme "my baka life/my chud life/etc" also kinda comes into play. It's just a little silly which I don't think is the intent, and that's the same problem with Moon Blade. I get what the title is trying to evoke (I think) but it feels a little deviantart. "My ultra cool swordsman OC Moon Blade" which I mean, he is ultra cool, but maybe the title could be something more like "Blade of the Moon" or "the Crescent Blade" or something like that. You're gonna be standing on the (blade's) edge of cool vs. cringey either way, it's a narrow path to walk, I think it could just use some more workshopping. It could also solely be personal taste, that's just how I and my reading partner felt. Speaking of Moon Blade, that's my other critique. Maybe I'm just misreading the powescaling on these characters, but I get the feeling that this legendary general is supposed to be one of the most individually dangerous people in the kingdom, so seeing him get suckerpunched just feels a little contrived. I'm all for him getting hurt and its use in the plot! It just feels like there's no way he hasn't been in a similar situation before if he's really that vaunted and amazing. I would assume even if his hearing fails him sometimes due to his abilities, he would hone other senses to make up for that when he's vulnerable after using what is apparently his signature move. Just seriously ramp up the danger of the warbear earlier, make it mutate faster, make it more dangerous right off the bat, just something to make it a little more believable that this living legend would get caught by it. Hell have it show up after he paralyzes Frey and he's forced to take a blow for him because of his previous actions rendering the prince vulnerable.
Sorry that was a lot of critique. But! I think most importantly, often times projects that are longform and released in a jam are just inherently unsatisfying. People treat it like a chapter one, and it doesn't really hit a lot of notes beyond a bunch of set up (that may or may not ever be touched again). MTL avoids that, which I think is really worth praising. It's a chunky boy at 14.5k words, but it tells a whole satisfying story contained within its first chapter. We get setups and to be continued, but it doesn't feel like we're left wanting. Hell, we even get Hotted Boobs and a kiss. Joel could never. It's a really endearing cast, and a cool setup, and it makes me excited for more, without leaving me going "okay... that's it?" I've already got a lot to like about it, and I know there'll be even more to come. Finally, Roar did amazing work on the CGs and BGs. Goddamn what a king. I don't know who was in charge of the combat CGs choreography, but the angles and the poses are some of my fave, and came off really dynamic.
Great work team, glad you've got a project to work on when you need a breather from your main work, and something to look forward to after its finished.
Incredibly cute and sweet game. We don't see a lot of Indian culture, so I appreciate the tie in to the Meghaduuta (though I'm familiar with it only by name for spawning the genre of poetry) and wearing that reference on its sleeve. I like the designs quite a lot, I think they're very unique and peppy, while still be grounded. I'm especially fond of how Aryaman's design as a minor deity translated to his design when he's disguised as a mortal. I know that Tyler is a bookseller and not a librarian, but as someone who has worked at a library in the past, I appreciate the vitriol towards AI and short form video content. It may come off as a bit heavy handed, but it's not unrealistic either lmao. Also rip tyler, no ass 2026, gone but not forgotten.
I love the art, the sprites are cute, the CGs are gorgeous, the music is catchy and adorable, and the hindi influence comes across clear even to my relatively unfamiliar ear. My one critique is all the details on the food. We get really detailed descriptions of the food. I get that this is the Cloud Messenger's Feast, but I want the importance of food to tie in (perhaps its effect on Aryaman, or influencing him to stay, at least in the first place before he falls for Tyler) a little bit more if we're going to basically be getting a play by play of the cooking process and what everyone is eating.
Good work, looking forward to what you do next, and I'll have to put Nocturne on my backlog!
By the End of the Night release 🐱🐺😾 comments · Posted in By the End of the Night release 🐱🐺😾 comments
I don't know if I should be offended or validated that Yuri flirts with Harvey. So true though, NB folks can be Bros 😌
It really is what it says on the box! Admittedly I don't know if that's how dnd or LARPing works technically, but I get their use as a narrative device. I think sometimes the game clashes with itself on what it wants to be. Sometimes it's a cheesy romance and sometimes it's the silly porn plot, so it pushes the boundaries of what I'm willing to accept at face value. For a freshly dumped newly minted bisexual, he sure throws the word love around easily. I guess we get the impression that they kind of already have some rapport because they were dating each other, but it feels a little lost in the sauce.
THAT SAID, I do feel seen because DILF topping truly is the bisexual activity of all time. I'm going to fuck your dad and give him a better kid. And RysaEa is a legendary pull for that CG. Good work Gatr! I'm sorry I was unable to help with the music after bringing it up, but I thought it worked fairly well the whole time ;v;7
Some Isekai Furry Wattpad Shit IDK jam comments · Posted in Some Isekai Furry Wattpad Shit IDK jam comments
jesus christ lmao. It made me laugh, I think most of the comedy is front loaded, but that's fine. I don't know if there's much to say (that isn't at least said by pink) beyond "it's really funny." I don't have a tiktok or an IG, but I was still able to keep up with the lingo, and unlike the last production by Kaz it didn't feel like it was thrown in there just for The Bit.
THAT SAID The designs fucking rip. Khufu especially is dripped out, and I love Cyril's look even though we only see them in the unfinished CGs. Pour one out for the homies. SERIOUSLY JUST POUR IT OUT, MY GOD, STOP DRINKING POISON ON PURPOSE
I don't know if other people will put together that being where they are sets them right in the bermuda triangle, but I think that's pretty clever. It's hard to speak about pieces of art like this. A beautiful work that I also... it's strange to say "I fundamentally disagree with this" because I don't know that it's making a statement. I hate the "well it made you think so it must be good" argument, but it did make me think, and I suspect I will continue to think about it. A dour and depressing piece that's extremely well constructed.
For me, I think the takeaway is, despite everything, his shitty friends, his decaying mental health, the disappearing... it's worth holding onto Colin holding on. When faced with it, Colin doesn't welcome this end, but fights against it. Things like this are always multifaceted, there's always more than one side, but I think you did a good job of showing that despite his issues, the people in his life really aren't fair to him. Ugh I could ramble on.
Great work again, 10/10 full stars, I fucking love line boil, and I know it's viciously hard work, so double bonus points for that!
Yeah I never really thought I'd be doing a war story myself, I'm with you there.... which is probably why there's so little actual war. But I'm glad you stuck it through, and that it grew on you! Despite being the Resident Bird Enjoyer, I think Ulfor's design might actually be my favorite of the trio 🤫
streamer bait 😭
Thank you for the kind words gatr, I'm glad you enjoyed the dynamics! It's certainly not the newest story in the book, but I'm definitely happy to hear that it was told well enough to still be enjoyable, and engage with the theme in an interesting way! I was a little nervous about that.
As for the sex scene and fakeout, you gotta blame the co-director for that one, I wanted an apathetic beakjob, but he demanded the fakeout and the full fuckin after to boot ;>