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Art, writing and layout all pretty good. Jam theme seems absent though. Not sure I could convince a crew to shop here once they work out what's going on.
The charm of this supplement definitely lives in the writing and presumably hand drawn art. For game design and content that aligns with more cyberpunk (and likely more Prospero's Dream for lovers of APoF) this is likely to be a welcome addition as I could see myself using this almost as almost diegetic. I think I might even consider a full edit to make it player facing to be a possible way to take a final version. One of many!
That aside the layout and presentation of the art and information leaves something to be desired and rather than feeling deliberate I feel these aspects would be best served by some polishing.
As it happens in regard to the theme of the jam I can find no relevance to "Ancient Myth" after reading things over a few times. This definitely does not diminish the project in and of itself but insofar as it is a participant of Triptech3 it's a noteworthy issue.
Well done overall with the concept!
Thank you! Appreciate the feedback, layout and design are definitely my biggest weaknesses.
This was my first time making a trifold and using Affinity and I definitely ran into a wall with what to do creatively (hence the blood splatter background). Perhaps I might be better served partnering with someone more experienced.
The art is hand drawn and lightly photoshopped, I’m glad you liked it! Making it was one of the most enjoyable parts of the process.
You did a fantastic job overall, really. I would encourage you to polish for post jam publication if that's something you want to do! A few minor tweaks are the difference really and I can appreciate all of the effort as is :)
Art: I like the robot. He has a lot of personality. Can't decide if the boy counts as paying homage to Vault Boy or just copying, though I'm sure the intent is the former. The rest of the design is a bit too much "basic Word doc" without any visual structure.
Writing: Excellent sense of humor throughout. Explaining that it's meant to be satire is probably unnecessary. One typo: "brief deep."
Game Design: Solid. I think a single encounter like this that can be dropped into a larger adventure is a great use for a trifold. You have good hooks at the start and end to make integrating it easy.
Theme: It's very Mothership, but the rating guideline is for use of the jam theme, and I'm not getting Ancient Mythology from this at all.
Layout: Visually, this is again very much just a Word doc and could use some color and graphic elements to organize the content. I think separating the content into a player side and a Warden's-eyes-only side is logical, but my only concern there is using the organ price list as a D20 table, as an attentive player is going to be like "wait, why are you going to be rolling on this?"
Utility: Full marks. I think it's very obvious how to drop this into a campaign and I would not have issues finding the information I need in realtime.
Favorability: I love the content and could see myself using it. I'm more lukewarm on the visual presentation and think some more work could be done on that front if you intend to sell it.
thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it!
BTW, if you have any design suggestions I’d love to hear them! I’m trying to figure out what I can do to improve it.
It's hard to offer concise suggestions, but I would suggest as you review other modules to keep an eye out for whatever jumps out at you as "professional" and take note of what they're doing.
Graphic design is largely about organizing information visually, so think about what different types of content you have (price lists, game mechanics and stat blocks, narrative, Warden tips, etc.) and how you can visually distinguish them and let the reader know at a glance what goes together and what's something different.
RADSICK is a good example to look at.
I see what you mean, thanks for the advice
Some very basic things to note:
Visual Weight: Things that are bigger, bolder, or higher contrast are more important.
Alignment: Things that line up go together. Things that are offset are separate.
Color Coding: You know how this works.
Graphic Elements: Simple lines, boxes, dots, etc. can either connect or separate things, depending on how you place them.