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I was inspired by the Doom of Verden Prime and nearly went for all black and white with only the green accent for the cover, in terms of art.

My intention was to be fairly terse with all of the elements presented and so I agree that mileage will vary when it comes to the connections made between the myth of Chang'e and more broadly, Elixir of Immortality/Fountain of Youth/etc themes. Essentially all of the nouns are related to the myth and their roles in it. The Osmanthus is Fu Sang a permanently regenerating tree that Wu Gang (Ken Wu in this case) is punished to cut forever. The Rabbit(s) accompany Chang'e and help her to grind THE OLD DUST forever with their feet - in a mortar but that's ancient history. Obviously all down to context in those regards for sure.

Guanghan and Yuegong are "Moon Palace" and the name of the Moon in the myth, and are repeated in characters underneath the map. Moon for the labs, and Palace for the R&D section. 

All of the notes on minor typographical things are appreciated!

I'd love it if you could elaborate on what you found cliché about the narrative. 

Thanks again!

This is a really elegant pamphlet for a very specific audience. The main thing it reminds me of is the Terrors of the Cosmos series by Tempest Tome Games. Those pamphlets are slick, highly produced pieces that bring very overt cosmic horror and ultratech to Mothership which is itself a subgenre of what is the cassettero Alien aesthetic of most other stuff. 

The Tension table is my favorite part here as with the right cues from the Warden, players might start to wonder why these questions are being asked well before any consequences come later. Big roleplayers, particularly Wardens that really like to get esoteric with it, are going to love this. 

One of the best parts of this design is how these extradimensional beings live in the negative space. A player may never know they're involved if a Warden holds back and only asks their cryptic tension questions. Brilliant.

Very well conceived for when and how to use it in the common Mothership game too. 

I think the simple inkblots and hand drawn cover are great but might like to see a little more graphic design identity to tie this one together and evoke the strange.

Genuinely looks like some kind of technical document at first glance. Really striking in aesthetic above all else and easily the reason why I read further. 

I love how social this ultimately is as presented, the quite effective page 1 in terms of appearing genuinely like a religious pamphlet and so setting a very strong vibe right away, and strong voice throughout. Less is more in terms of writing situations like these - preferring simple instructions that can easily balloon into huge scenes with the right group. 

I think that a recognizable connection to Ancient Myth of a kind is enough, sometimes the implication being simply "ancient aliens" or "cults and religion" is serviceable shorthand. Here the function of a central myth itself is not necessarily as front and center as one might think but ultimately I don't think that detracts from the finished work.

I loved this one on sight and will repeat praise from my previous feedback in that I think in-world artifacts and handouts are very underrepresented across all of ttrpgdom and are one of my favorite things about Mothership's 3PP scene in particular. Part of this necessarily needs to be statted and given Warden context otherwise the whole thing could be given over to players. On its own it's difficult to say this is anything less than near perfect in what it set out to do. 

I suppose the solution to having a handout only version is simply to show or print one side so I can't find much fault in that!

ART — What little discrete art there is, is very evocative of the source myth, compliments the color palette, and of course sets up the big ol' drillship before you're even likely to have read it is so. Very effective! In terms of graphic design everything continues to be pretty consistent if a little predictable given how many entries are on top of one another. Not necessarily an issue. 

WRITING — With a decently high wordcount things kind of need to be all killer no filler, and this strikes a pretty great balance between evocative word choices and simple explanations so that - as is inevitable - the Warden can fill in any blanks that exist from shorter descriptions.

GAME DESIGN — My big winner to call out here is the pretty extensive use of the skill system and cutouts to reward checks for lots of them!

THEME — As with all other entries I try to decide on what level "Ancient Myth" inspired the module and then to grade it on its own terms. I fully believe this reads as mythical whether you somehow don't happen to recognize the norse connection or not and is only better the more little bits and pieces that you do know. 

LAYOUT — My single nitpick is that while always at the top of the dark blue day sections, NIGHT itself always feels like another bullet item rather than the beginning of a new entry. I might consider underlining, bracketing, icons or something to draw Day and Night as entries slightly further out of the layout and to the eye of the reader.

UTILITY — Probably one that wouldn't or couldn't be effectively run if for some reason a Warden ran it without ever having read it previously. Still, a lot is packed in here and a pretty cohesive story given the day structure. 

FAVORABILITY — The theme of the module is awesome, the overarching use of the jam theme is too, and as a really busy person the appeal of a module that has done most of the storytelling thinking for me already is hugely valuable. 

ART — The cover and drone design are evocative on their own and intrigued me to look deeper to find out exactly what they represented within the context of Mothership. In terms of graphic design all of the text boxes are nice and uniform, stand out well, and the icons are representative of the titles for a very utilitarian approach.

WRITING — I particularly enjoyed the writing here for its usefulness over a desire to write prose. It's appropriately terse where necessary and in the places where specificity or mood are needed, more descriptive. My own submission went with a similar approach and so other examples of the style are appreciated, well done here in Majnun.

GAME DESIGN — It occurs to me that lies and advice on using them is worthy of being called out as a mechanical choice and underpins a lot of the tension here. What the Crew does and does not know. Depending on the path taken the threats in the Drones might soften the crew up for what are pretty devastating end game foes. My gut feeling is that this would be a pretty high body count module but that is nicely dependent on the outcome of the social problem solving with Solomon. 

THEME — In my opinion, the use of "Ancient Myths" as a theme for the jam has a few possible interpretations. Instantly recognizable and well conceived uses of familiar ancient myths, really with or without a scifi twist, are big winners.  The Bottle and the Jinni together, plus their purposes are conceivable in both genres or time periods if you like. Full marks there.

LAYOUT — All very clear, readable, easy to navigate, and reference. I'd say its all serviceable without any surprises here which is good.

UTILITY — I think I'd identify this pamphlet as one that needs to be read through in its entirety and if any questions arise, a Warden should make a note. This is neither pro or con in the case of Majnun, it just happens that the structure of the module has a certain end and context is necessary which isn't uncommon at all with this approach.  To it's credit a Warden will get to spend most of their time on the map which is a big plus!

You did a fantastic job overall, really. I would encourage you to polish for post jam publication if that's something you want to do! A few minor tweaks are the difference really and I can appreciate all of the effort as is :)

The charm of this supplement definitely lives in the writing and presumably hand drawn art. For game design and content that aligns with more cyberpunk (and likely more Prospero's Dream for lovers of APoF) this is likely to be a welcome addition as I could see myself using this almost as almost diegetic. I think I might even consider a full edit to make it player facing to be a possible way to take a final version. One of many!

That aside the layout and presentation of the art and information leaves something to be desired and rather than feeling deliberate I feel these aspects would be best served by some polishing. 

As it happens in regard to the theme of the jam I can find no relevance to "Ancient Myth" after reading things over a few times. This definitely does not diminish the project in and of itself but insofar as it is a participant of Triptech3 it's a noteworthy issue. 

Well done overall with the concept!

I want to particularly praise a very clear creative voice that I enjoyed seeing from this module. The juice is here for a full release provided some issues with readability primarily on the map are solved for. 

The map itself and the conceit of how the adventure is traversed are particularly fun!

Thank you for the feedback!

Utility became a top priority early on thanks to early read-throughs and I think we managed to preserve the aesthetic in revisions.

With a few sources of threat this is a fun representation of a familiar creature in scifi and fantasy.  The inky illustrations are appreciated and the use of space particularly with the map is tight!

As read I think this is halfway between a quick pick up and play and requiring Warden prep. There's some well conceived elements that will all need their place to shine in the infection, its cure, and several creatures, not to mention their behaviors, and the pacing of a small area. 

With erotic themes, striking a balance between horror, deliberate allure, and care for player consent at the table can be quite the challenge. I believe this does a fantastic job with expectations from the cover onwards! Nymphs, sirens, and beguilers are so iconic that the theme really spoke for itself and what follows with "The Operation" explanation and hooks is fantastically ripe for Warden development. 

While in theory, short, this has a lot of potential as a location with complications and if not should be a memorable experience for tables that will appreciate and responsibly engage with the content.