itch.io

Nice work, I like the premise of exploring a park for this game. The sprites overall have good design, but the color choices feel like they clash a bit, the pink, green and yellow are all similar levels of saturation and brightness, so they don't stick out much, I might make the items either brighter or darker to make them pop more. The first room seems to have three possible exits, but only the right side and top go to other rooms, I would close up the area at the bottom that looks like it leads to another room. It also seems strange that the player finds the key to their house in the park, but we don't know that they left it there, it might make more sense to set up that we're looking for the key.

Nice work, I really like the design of the rooms, the animated tiles, especially the waves, are well done, and overall the beach scene is captured effectively. I like the crab animation as well. The game seems to end a bit abruptly, it's a little unclear why we are collecting the keys, because it seems like you can make it through the game and get the same ending without collecting anything.

Nice work, I like the design of this game, especially the large structures and bright blue color against the black background. I'm a little unclear on what the shape is that makes up most of the tiles. I like the name but it's a little unclear how time relates to the game, there doesn't seem to be a time element to the story or the gameplay.

Nice work, this is a fun, cute game with some really nice visual design. I like the scenery rooms with the moon, that's a nice way to break up the experience. I like the surprise ending with the guards as well, very unexpected and clever use of different rooms to set that up. I like that the characters come from different horror stories.

This is a great start, but needs a little more work to feel like a polished game. The key and door in the first room feel kind of perfunctory because the key is on the way to the door, so there's no real challenge to finding it. There's also no way to get to the end of the room without collecting the dog bone, so that doesn't feel like a challenge. The second room has a couple of very long corridors without much reason to pass through them, which seems a bit tedious. Then the skull sprite doesn't seem to relate to anything else in the game. Once you enter the third room there is no way to get out but no clear indication that the game is over, so it would be good to have something that definitively ends the game if it is the ending.

I like the aesthetic and concept of this game a lot, the setting is really interesting, the player character is a nice design and I like traveling through the rooms. It seems a bit unfinished, it doesn't seem like anything happens after I collect the gem, but maybe I missed something? I would have some kind of "To be continued" dialog if it is because otherwise players will be looking for a way to continue. The sprite design for the praying person did not look like a person to me at first, I didn't know what it was when I approached it.

Nice work, this is a good story with a clear goal and good guidance through the rooms. The voices for the different characters are all unique which is a nice touch. I like that there's an unexpected scene where we go outside and see the cars on the street. I noticed that you get the same ending even when you don't collect the coffee items. It's pretty easy to collect them once you get to the last level, so I imagine most players won't notice, but some may go back to check like I did.

Nice work, this is a fun game. The structure works really well, the progression through the rooms and collecting objects is very clear. I like the animations for the character and the walls. The plush toy item is a little unclear, it kind of looks like just a simple shape.

This is a great start, but I wasn't able to get past the second room, maybe I missed something? In the first room I was able to talk to the death character and get the flames to go to the second room. In the second room the character asks for yummy treats but I couldn't collect any, there seemed to be only more flames. Did I miss a door somewhere?

Overall I like the sprite design and the background music is a nice kind of minimalist approach.

This is a really great story with a lot of nice details, great job. The way you set up the journal writing and sleeping scenes is really creative, really nice use of the engine. And the large animations are really well done. The art and story complement each other really well. Nice work!

Wow, thanks for posting the walk through, I would have had a hard time figuring that out on my own. For the normal ending, I didn't try to talk to the cat after I got a repeating ... I think. I think it's tricky to decide when you want to make something difficult or unconventional, because you will lose some fraction of players who will be confused. I think if the cat dialog didn't repeat I would have figured that out earlier and might not need the visuals for the doors in the previous room, I spent more time exploring because I thought I was missing something.

It's interesting I missed the secret area even though there are clear visual indicators of how to get there from the first room. The effect of guidance, the path leading down, is so effective, I didn't even think to look elsewhere. I was looking for gold, but I figured I was just not able to find it later in the game, not in a different direction.

I really like the concept for this, and I think a lot of players enjoy rewards for poking around like hidden content. It's a tricky thing to balance that kind of surprise with the player feeling encouraged to explore enough to find them. This is really fun though and it's great to take risks like this working on a game project.

Nice work, this is an interesting premise for the game. Since we're supposedly avoiding room 2B it would be helpful to have the rooms labeled. There are few different rooms to explore, but its not clear which is the one we should avoid, but I think it's safe to assume it's the one that ends the game.

Nice work on the map levels, I like that each has a unique shape. It seems like a lot of bitsy defaults are left in here, like color scheme, tiles, cat sprite, the door dialog. The key for the door isn't mentioned when we get it from the cat, so its a bit confusing, and if you talked to the cat first it seems to reference a key that wasn't collected. There also isn't any reason to collect the cat food, and since each one has the same dialog, it makes more sense to avoid them so you don't have to click through the same dialog again and again. The first level has background music but none of the rest do, which is a bit inconsistent. This is a good start, but it would be great to see more attention to detail and more original content.

Nice work, this is a fun, unique project. I enjoyed the gameplay jokes, like getting a key and then the NPC tells you its useless, and searching for the imperfect apple that doesn't exist, or the NPCs guarding a door that we can easily walk around. It seems like each room adds some new objects and has this interesting sense of somehow ending up in a different game, but the references to Kiwi and other game elements create continuity.

The design of this game is great, the sprites are a really interesting combination of abstract and representational. The dialog at the beginning does a great job of establishing the goals and mechanics in the game.

I am having a hard time navigating once I get to what I think is inside of a castle. The room that is divided in half with two sections that are connected by internal doors is tricky, I keep going back and forth between the sections without being able to progress. I can get to the room with the cat but then I can't seem to get anywhere else. Overall, its a little unclear based on design where the walls are, I am unexpectedly running into walls and also realizing things that look like walls I can walk through.

So I'm not sure if I made it all the way through, but I did not get to collect gold or use the sword. Great start, but if this is the full game, I would include some kind of indication, because I was trying to figure things out for a while.

I also thought it might be a puzzle, because it looks like there's an arrow in the top of the right side section, but if it is, I couldn't figure it out.

I really like the setup up and design of the this game. The intro scene does a great job of establishing the setting and creating interest.

There is a bug with the second room, depending on where you enter, I tested this a few times because at first I got stuck and couldn't move onto the rest of the game. If you go straight up after you enter the second room you get stuck in the door frame. You have to move down in order to travel through the scene. This does not happen in the third or subsequent rooms.

The series of rooms is done well I like how it builds up the story through the various items. It seems not like collecting the items doesn't change the ending, that's fine for this project but might be an interesting mechanic to add in a future version of the game if you keep working on it.

Nice work, this was fun to play. I like how each mail item has it's own dialog and each one has a bit of humor or story attached to it. The turn around at the end was unexpected, and the changing from day to night was a nice effect. Nice work on the sprite designs as well, it looks like you were able to make larger designs by combining multiple tiles which is a good approach. 

Nice work, I like the concept of the black and white star, and the story has good clear endings. I would introduce the setting of "the village" in the first passage, because when it appears later in the story its kind of confusing, it seems like our goal is to save the village, but it's also the first time we learn about the village.

Nice work, I like the premise for this story, and there's a good sense of mystery that motivates the user to click through each passage. I like that the story is sort of an endless loop that ends up back a the beginning, it took me a few click throughs to realize that there is no actual ending (spoiler alert) which is a cool concept for this format.

Nice work, I like the formatting choices you used here, like the tall game window and text color, as well as the ascii style embellishments for the computer system. The concept of a duplicated consciousness is interesting, there some parts I was a little confused, for example, at some passages it seems like I am just looking at computer console, but some passages make it sound like there are other people in the scene?  But overall I think it made sense and I like the different outcomes. 

Nice work, I like the premise for this story, the rebirth concept works well for this format. I like the information log system as well, that's a nice way to add word building. I think the story overall is very strong, but some of the writing could be more succinct, for example this sentence:

As you walk down the hallway adjacent from the main courtyard, you pay attention to the different rooms, different labratories and different stations that these different employees conduct their work.

This uses the word "different" four times, which seems unnecessary. I think a second pass of editing to clean up sections like this would help a lot.

This is an interesting approach, I appreciate the ambition of creating a system for tracking resources, but it's unclear if the resources have an effect on the story, it seems like the story progresses the same way regardless of how you allocate resources. When the system isn't clear, it sort of becomes a distraction, so I don't think it makes sense here, though I think it's good to try out concepts like this in these projects. The writing could use some polishing, I could follow most of it, but there are some passages where the grammar and spelling creates confusion, for example:

"Your Terrified you wonder, contemplate what to do you wonder who are these people and want to go back to your own world?"

This could be rewritten more succiently,

You are terrified and wondering who these people are and how to get back to your own world.

The narrative seems to jump pretty abruptly between different styles, settings and characters, so it's a bit hard to follow. I would try to simplify things so there's only one or two new elements introduced in each passage.

This is a good start, I like the theme, it's interesting to put the reader in the world of a professional soccer player. It seems like the user decisions don't really effect the outcome, so it would be good to have more paths with different outcomes, for example, it doesn't matter if I choose "eat" or "game" in the second passage, the story ends up in the same place. I would think about different possible endings and then paths that could the user there.

Nice work, this is a good setup, I like you have clear endings and the way you used the car key setting to change the ending. I like the pixelated filter on the images as well, it gives the project a sort of retro game aesthetic. Remember to include image citations in the project or your documentation post.

Nice work, I like the way the story starts, it has a very mundane description but then subtle cues like visiting a mineshaft give us the sense that it's not a normal day.

I think some of the passages are a bit long, we could get to the choices in the story a bit earlier. The choices also don't lead to different outcomes, so it might be good to have some different pathways. The final passage is blank, I would throw in a "to be continued..." if it's not done so it doesn't look like an error.

In the current setup, the content gets cut off by the bottom of the browser page on my screen. If you want to have long passages, you need to enable scroll bars. The only way I was able to click through the story by zooming out in the browser.

Wow, this is a really unique story, the use of expanding passages is something I've never really seen before, and the voice is really well done, I really enjoyed this piece. I way you describe being a cow is very detailed and does a good job putting the reader in the perspective of a cow. The ending where you click "You are a cow" several times is really satisfying. Nice work. The only thing that is a little glitchy is some of the text animations seem to happen when there is not text visible, so it looks like the page is changing height, that might just be a twine error, not sure what's causing that, but it might be empty content with animations attached.

Nice work, this is a good premise for the story and has some interesting choices, and good endings. One small detail I would work is some of the links are capitalized while others aren't, this seems kind of random, so I'm not sure it's intentional. For example, in the first passage, Marker and Spraycan are capitalized, but in the next passage with Marker, trashbin and home are lowercase. I would use consistent capitalizations. Since the links are a different color, they should already stand out, but using capital letters is another good way to make the choices stand out.

Nice work, I like the theme of this story a lot and the references to mythology. A lot of the choices presented don't have a real effect on the story, I think that's okay in some cases, but in this case it creates a pattern where you realize it doesn't really matter which choice you pick pretty quickly, after the first couple of passages, if I ignore the call, and then ignore the door, I end up on the same path anyway. I might make some more options that get a bit farther away from the central story line. The ending seems unclear or maybe unfinished, when I get to the "meet you in Crete" link there's a blank page, and the other option ends at the sentence starting "Once you get to Crete, Zeus ... " but it seems like it ends abruptly. Maybe add in there "to be continued..." or something if the story is not complete, just so it's not confusing to the user.

Nice work, the writing here does a great job of creating tension and illustrating the setting.

There is one passage that has a loop, the one with the options

Respond to SOS Transmission

Respond to Unique Number Set

Ignore Unique Number Set

Clicking on "Respond to SOS Transmission" just brings us back to the page, so I think that option can be removed.

Nice work this is a good start. I like the voice and style of the writing and the focus on friendship as a theme. It seems like the choices don't ultimately effect the outcome of the game, it might be interesting to create different endings depending on some of the choices made throughout the story.

You have this set as a downloadable, I was able to download the HTML file and play it, but it should be set as "Play in browser", you might have skipped that step in the instructions, you can still edit the page and set it to play in browser.

Nice work, I like the voice of this piece, its very unique and quirky. There are some misspelled words, I think in some ways it adds to the voice but in other cases it's confusing, for example the line "how those pumkin sound!!... no" i think should be "how does pumkin sound", I was confused at first because it sounds like an abrupt change in the dialog. I like the ending with the image, I think that's a nice place to end on.

Nice work, the slow reveal of the events in this story is done really well. The framing of Day 1, Day 2 etc. works well to create a branch and bottleneck structure, there are options for the player but the main story points are the same. And the way some choices, like joining the group, effect later choices is good. It seems to end abruptly with a blank passage, maybe add in "to be continued" or something so it's clear it's not an error.

Nice work, the beginning passage is good, it creates a very clear sense of the setting with a few details. The overall structure is good, it gives the player options but keeps them on a path towards the ending. The choices are simple and clear and the restart link at the endings is useful.

Nice work, I like the sense of mystery created in this project. One thing that confused me was the sign, which says "One of these doors does not lead where it promises" but the doors are referred to as "red", "green" and "blue", so it's not clear what they promise, but maybe it's intended to be absurd, which makes sense give the mysteriousness of the endings. It also seems like, although the language is different, the endings are all pretty similar, you either end up on a new path or into the unknown. Maybe this is the point? Every door is ultimately the same?

Nice work, this is a really interesting premise for the project. The interface kind of reminds me of the hacker puzzles in the Fallout games. The animations add a nice time dimension to the game. The choice setup is interesting, it basically forces you to "follow protocol" in order to see what happens in the game. And I like how it reveals the game world through the choices and computer messages, it reveals the "bio-link" setup in an interesting way. It does feel like a lot of setup for one ticket, but it makes sense in the context of this project.

Nice work, this is a good premise for the game. I like how it starts with a pretty simple decision but it has unexpected consequences.

The first passage is a bit long, I would get to the first choice a little faster. The other passages have good length, the passages with choices are bit shorter and the end passages have longer story parts.

The passages immediately following the first wardrobe choice all have the option to choose again, which is a good option, but the options are on the same line, so it's confusing to read at first, I would move them to a second line.

The crooked shades pathway seems to have a repeated passage, "You get into your car dreading your first day." happens twice. 

It seems like all the ending are bad endings, that's fine, and funny, but just want to point it out in case I missed something.

Nice work, this is a pretty complex setup for the story and there's a lot of interesting passages. I like the beginning, how you have a couple of passages of intro before the first choice. The management of different choices at various parts of the story is well done for the most part. There are a couple of confusing sections, for example, in one ending I'm stuck in a loop where I can click on "mountain-return vine" and then that passage has a link to "go back" to the previous passage, so it seems like an endless loop. Having some start over links, or returning to a previous choice might make this a bit more clear. There is another passage where numbered options are shown, but it seems like in some cases some options are not available. This is a nice setup, but it makes the numbering confusing, if you just see 1. and 3. I would just have the options listed without numbers.

The drawings are very nice, but I don't see any image citations. The images should have a citation for a public domain license, or other licensing information, or if they are your drawings you can indicate that as well.

Nice work, this story is well structured, I like how there are different ending that reset to different points along the timeline, which could be confusing, but the framing is clear. The image choices work well for the subject matter and overall the look of the images is very consistent, with high contrast, lots of detail and atmospheric color palettes.

Nice work, this is a great example of a gauntlet style game. I actually (spoiler alert) got the good ending on my first try, so I think my instincts are a good match for this fictional world. But this does a good job of encouraging replay because I was curious to see what the other paths would lead to.

This is a great start, nice work. I like the voice in the writing, it's very immediate and puts the read in the headspace of the character. I like the drawings, I would make them larger to fill up a bit more space on the page, I think you could make them 600px or even a little more. The link on the third passage goes to a blank page. There should also be some choice involved, since it's an interactive story, the player should be able to choose different paths. Not every passage has to have a choice, but one or more passages should have choices.