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A jam submission

SPACE BEND: A Mothership RPG Pamphlet AdventureView project page

A Mothership one-shot
Submitted by DoubleMonk — 4 days, 18 hours before the deadline
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SPACE BEND: A Mothership RPG Pamphlet Adventure's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
UTILITY — Does complexity inspire game prep? Or Is it very "Pick-up-n-Play"?#14.3334.333
LAYOUT — How well does the module get across information?#24.4174.417
GAME DESIGN — How good is the game balance or concepts there in?#23.8753.875
Overall#23.9823.982
WRITING — How does this read? does it emanate with horror, humor, drama...?#34.0834.083
FAVORABILITY — how much do you personally like the submission?#33.9583.958
ART — How good is the art/graphic design?#54.4584.458
THEME — How well is the jam theme used?#442.7502.750

Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

So cool, this looks awesome. I love the structure– the cleaning goes well, and then someone ELSE fucks it up lol, very on brand. Makes you feel like someone caught in a horror movie, but not the protagonist.

I was expecting more psychedelia based on the (very eye-catching) design, but I’m very pleased with Cronenburg too.

I did notice that the Janitor seems to have their name mixed up with Honey in 5. HABITATION > HAZARD section.

Amigara fault reference is very apropos.

I could see this being run as gross-out splatter, serious horror, black comedy, or all three.

It’s also very plug-n’-play!

Great job!

Submitted(+1)

Very cool.

I think this is a great scenario for Wardens well-versed in body horror, and the art and layout are phenomenal!

Submitted(+1)

Great entry as a classic room exploration adventure. I do however think the scenario would work better as an experiment gone wrong situation rather than ancient artifact with magical properties. I know we have the theme of the jam, but the theme should not stand in the way of making the submissions the best they can be.

Submitted

IDK I kind of like it. Also, it would seem it is an experiment gone wrong. It’s giving Half-Life.

HostSubmitted(+1)

Love it! great horror comedy vibes (which start from your killer cover!) this is pretty elegant in its simplicity.

I think others have given great advice so far and am trying to come up with anything to add… I think my only nitpick is that the map while cool doesn’t come off as Sci-fi as the rest of the module… maybe thats just my preconceived notions that sci-fi maps not be sensibly laid out haha, NEEDS MORE HEXAGONS!!!

No but jokes aside, one of my favorites so far! keep up the great work!

Submitted(+2)

Really solid submission. Would easily find its way into my physical collection if it goes to print. I think my only nitpick is clarity in a couple instances. 

  • Is the second step of suit compromise or removal taken every two rounds or is it only on the initial event?
  • Bend #7 is a little confusing to visualize at first pass. 
  • Bend #8 I would make a panic check and increased stress
  • Orange #5: maybe say something like, “when approached…” instead of “when close…”
  • Orange #6 under expanding Hector could be more concise to be, “ Ever-expanding, unable to move or speak, HECTOR will breech the container in 5 minutes unless destroyed.
  • IMO: Test chamber artifact effect could be sanity save and +1 stress from witnessing. +1 stress and Panic check when touched. Ratchet up the tension. 

Nicely done!

Developer(+1)

Ayo! Great points, ill most likely implement some of the suggestions for the final version. Thanks for the suggestions!

Submitted(+1)

The art and design vibes are immaculate and the writing conveys the horror and hilarity with verve. 

Submitted(+1)

Art: Looks great overall. Good use of color. Nice and clear, great thematic cover art. I wish the map was a little more interesting than a 3x3 grid. 

Writing: Pretty bare-bones and functional. It does what it needs to do but relies heavily on the art to establish the vibes.

Game Design: Conceptually, this is great. The various effects of the artifact are suitably horrific. However, I have concerns that it'd be too easy if run as written, depending on the player group. I don't see any obvious reason for players to remove their suits, and there's really only one of two fairly easy combats between them and the magnets if they realize the solution right away. 

Theme: There's an artifact from an ancient civilization, so the Warden could come up with some mythology around it. However, that's not addressed at all in the module.

Layout: Full marks. This is very usable design and including connection lines between the room description boxes is a nice bit of extra help for the Warden without wasting any additional space.

Utility: If not for the issues mentioned in Game Design and Theme above, I'd give this full marks. However, if I was going to run this, I feel like I'd need to do some work myself first on developing the artifact's lore and coming up with a contingency plan if the players just kill the janitor and go straight for the magnet.

Favorability: I've only reviewed 10% of the modules so far, but this is my favorite at this point.

Developer

Ayo! Good and fair points all around! Thanks for taking the time for extensive feedbacks!

Submitted(+1)

Really solid and obviously useable piece. Top marks for the visual design, which supports the premise brilliantly.