itch.io

🙌 stoked for your journey. Such a fun game. 

Great submission. Design and layout are clean. Typography being a little hard to read is only a small quibble, and likely could be improved by using a slightly heavier weight. I like this a lot.

This slaps. No notes. Well done!

thanks. I appreciate the kind words. What parts did you think could be more condensed?

I appreciate the kind words. It was a fun project, and something that I felt could be unique for a trifold.

Ruin Engine notes:

• I originally had another diagram that showed the die results that set the hallways, but I was getting cramped for space. I'll see what I can shift around to try to include something thine like that post judging. That's a good call
• Using a 10x10 grid provides 100 spaces that the the stairwell could be, so using a d100 to determine where the stairs fall felt intuitive. There again, space for an example would likely help for clarity.
• Depth crawls typically don't have any objective other than go as far as you can and try to find your way out. But I thought with this context there should be a way to procedurally set the location of the objective within the map that the Warden has made. This doesn't affect the players actions at all, but is more of a prep tool for the Warden to determine how many floors down will the objective be located. The way it works:
  • Warden decides how difficult they want the crawl to be
  • Then procedurally builds the floor
  • Lastly, rolls to see if the objective is on the floor they just built. Lower than the target percentage + level and the objective is on that floor. If not, repeat the process
• Roadside Picnic is GOATed, such a good book. The mange were the areas of intense gravity that would crush someone that accidentally walked in. It's what stalkers would be checking for when they would toss nuts and bolts as they explored the Zone. I felt like those would be Easter Eggs for people that were in the know, but provided the source material for a quick google search. I'm a big fan of Stephen King's Dark Tower series, and it's full of cross over references that are just so unexpected and exciting when you read them. To me, allowing for literary overlap in the game design opens a door (Dark Tower pun intended) to let other influences spill in to a Warden's prep.

These are all solid critiques, and food for thought for how I might edit before public release. I really appreciate your thoughtful responses.

Thank you!

I shared the same quibbles as Joshua, so it doesn’t bear repeating. Very solid submission, and another that could find its way into my physical collection should it go to print. 

I can appreciate the minimal almost spartan design choices because you leaned so heavily into your content descriptions. The tables are quite helpful. Lots of room for a table to tell their own story with what you’ve provided. 

I agree with these comments. 

I think where it can be gamed mechanically is to never turn on the power. If the hallway has been shorn off, float over to 7 and cut the terminal out to bring back to a ship to be powered up. Players could circumnavigate your narrative conflict and collect the bounty, and they would be none the wiser that they could have had rat grenades (this was a fun touch).

I struggled with the labeling of a couple locations: general wing features had a (0A) label, exterior (0B), station airlock (AS), and lab airlock (AL). These are a bit confusing, but also don’t really seem that necessary since they aren’t referenced on the map. Could maybe just leave those off altogether. 

Doesn’t come across as harsh at all. I appreciate the feedback. 

Thanks! Frank is incredible! I definitely want to get some smaller callbacks from the main piece inside, but ran out of time to make it happen. I’ll see if I can’t make the edit before public release. 

Also, what about the maps did you find difficult to read?

I appreciate it a lot. We were stoked to find a nice niche between warden tool and short adventurers. 

Really solid submission. Would easily find its way into my physical collection if it goes to print. I think my only nitpick is clarity in a couple instances. 

• Is the second step of suit compromise or removal taken every two rounds or is it only on the initial event?
• Bend #7 is a little confusing to visualize at first pass. 
• Bend #8 I would make a panic check and increased stress
• Orange #5: maybe say something like, “when approached…” instead of “when close…”
• Orange #6 under expanding Hector could be more concise to be, “ Ever-expanding, unable to move or speak, HECTOR will breech the container in 5 minutes unless destroyed.
• IMO: Test chamber artifact effect could be sanity save and +1 stress from witnessing. +1 stress and Panic check when touched. Ratchet up the tension. 

Nicely done!

Great work DivineN! Not surprised in the least with your piece getting top marks. Incredible!

let me know if you would like help proofreading. I’d be happy to assist. Your entry was really great. 

the art and writing in this are really solid. there’s definitely been a lot of care and work put into the world building for this setting.  I look forward to seeing what come from it!

very fun adventure. I’ve started to plan when I’m going to run this for my table. Super evocative, and a ton of space for dm creativity while providing a ver solid structure to build on. Could see church’s of this cult spread all around the spheres. 

Small critique would be to go back through for text editing. just a few run ons and missing words. But honestly didn’t detract at all from the flavor. 

both of those descriptions were gold. 

very fun setting. more adventures always. while the corpo setting does initially come across as beige, the flavor of the NPCs, encounters, and enemies is enough to add as much color as you want. 

The OOBLECKIAN REVISIONIST reminds me of a floating blob of white out. Very fun. 

thanks! I really felt like it was walking a thin line, so I’d rather play it safe than sorry. And making it like “virus” in the machine felt like it held with the fiction. 

I’ve not yet seen a lot of cyberpunk material for Troika! so it was a fun play in a new to me setting. Do you know of any cyberpunk settings for Troika I could check out?

I fully agree with this. Don’t game it. Read and treat the voting like giving critiques. That’s how we all get better with future projects. And honestly, if after reading everything and something stands out more, I don’t have any issue with going back and updating a vote to account for the field. 

I think the real thing for me is getting feedback; that’s my reward. I’d love to get “stuff”,  but knowing how to improve my writing, design, graphic design, setting, etc is way more valuable, imho. 

I’ve been working through and voting on everyone one. But kinda setting 3 stars as the baseline, the is good and has some juice. More than 3 and it’s got a lot going for it super evocative, brain tingly. Less than 3 and it might need some work, ideas may need to be fleshed out, etc..

Thanks! That modification might be one of my favorites. 

jmcord

thanks! Seriously, the items were super fun! Had a few good laughs when reading through. 

More adventures are always needed. This one is fun, open-ended, and the additional gambling mini games have many uses outside of this context. Nice work!

Interesting take on utilizing works recently added to public domain. I especially enjoyed  the Crooning Cacodemon and the Romantic Jinx. The bibliography was a great addition since I didn't know most of the references. Really nicely done!

I didn't realize you were passing out art copies for those involved with the jam. I'd love to take a look, though the text alone was vivid enough to get my mind running with imagery! 

Always looking for fun items to fill a shop, with pricing structure to boot. Descriptions are imaginative and will almost certainly encourage equally imaginative usage.

Very fun and evocative setting.  I could very easily see building a campaign around this.