Good stuff - more of a visual novel than branching paths game,, but I like the interactive links of the brakes and wheels, there's some great potential there.

My submission's also made with twine if you fancied giving it a go in return?

I liked it. It was more story than game but the interactive words were a nice touch. More would have been better.

I think I share the opinion of a lot of other commenters: this is a really cool idea and it has a lot of potential, there's just not much to it right now. I'd love to see it built up some more with more interactions. Good work on the story though!

Well,I just think it's a little boring,too short;

I like the story and the interactivity parts, as little as there may be (the interactivity). This feels more like a webnovel than a visual novel. It's missing music and sound effects to sell the "gamified" story, so it just feels like I'm just reading a regular story from the internet. If I were to just judge the story by itself, it was okay. Things kind of just happened. There's two types of writing, writing of the characters and there's writing of the plot. This one appears mainly to be writing of the plot, and for me I typically don't like them, so I'm bias on that. But if I were to judge it based on previous plot-driven short stories, it's OK. I the story suffers from not setting up the scene enough. The reader is thrown in this scenario before ever knowing why they should care about these characters, this train, and the world. Pacing is too fast.

I like how you used the fonts and colors to highlight speakers and important details. The font really adds to the complexity and depth of the character in how they conduct themselves, or how they should, anyways.

I really liked the idea of a visual novel on a runaway train. I only missed some more interactivity. For example that the boss asks for the time, and you actually have to choose how much time is left by reading the clocks. Based on your answer the boss chooses a different strategy, if you're wrong his plan is too slow and the train crashes into town. Or for example give the choice to tell the passengers or not. If you do, there could be a chance of them decoupling some wagons and saving a bunch certainly, or some jumping off getting injured... Just a few alternative story lines. Then possibly at the end, you can have a few different endings based on the choices you could have a number of casualties, injured... This would make it interesting to play a second time to see what different choices would look like. But interesting story, nice job!