This was a very nice experience with a lot of vivid and quiet details about the lives of these characters. Sort of dream-like. I would recommend having the Writing Lab look over the text for you as I think there are some issues related to the translation. For example, I struggled to keep track of basic distinctions such as names versus pronouns (Her? Heer? her?)
SamAtMICA
71
Posts
1
Topics
A member registered Sep 20, 2023
Creator of
Recent community posts
Very effectively written with good pacing and a very deliberate reveal of the key details. I enjoyed the way that you focused on portraying small moments in the studio. There were a couple of details that stood out in awkward ways. One was related to a repeated phrase:
You decide to…
The knocking returns.
Now you…
This seems like it might be an issue with the underlying logic. There was also another moment where we make a critical choice which I don't think needs to be pointed out: "You may respond (choices lead to different endings)". It feels unnecessary to point this out. Otherwise, I though this turned out really well!
Really great work. A very inventive presentation that was both engaging and surprising! Even the more chaotic elements complemented the grotesque moments and overall tone of the story effectively. The animation and font changes were memorable and contributed significantly to the success of the piece. I especially enjoyed the interactive moments that slowed the pace of the text, highlighted shifts in the narrative's perspective, and added depth to the experience. At first, I found ADA’s text challenging to read, but as the game progressed, I became more adept at deciphering it, which ultimately enhanced the sense of immersion. If anything, the blue italicized font was the hardest for me to read! Feels like I just experienced Art. Well done.
Really wonderful game! Full of surprising and rewarding text, from beginning to end. I really enjoyed being prompted to choose mutations and draw my evolved creature. The text input system is really impressive and you did a nice job prompting us to get good results out of it. I stayed with your suggestions so I didn't really test the limits of your system or experience any game-breaking bugs. I enjoyed the sense of humor and found moments such as "Move. Move. Move.... No" genuinely funny. The YOU WIN summary felt a bit out of place and took me out of the experience . I never considered I could "lose" because the experience felt quite compelling without those kinds of outcomes in mind. Perhaps there is a way to shape the language so that it is blends in more?
An intriguing and disorienting experience. I played through twice and found both paths distinct and filled with vivid, memorable language, such as “You twist around each other, into each other and apart, two-and-four-and-one of you.” In my first playthrough, which ended with blood on the bed, the story concluded quite abruptly, more so than the second ending involving staring at myself in the mirror. That said, both endings were highly effective, leaving me reflecting on the intensity of what I had just experienced. Very nice.
Incredibly charming and well-executed! The story is very cute and you're very consistent with the playful tone, from beginning to end. The illustrations added a lot to the experience, though the one or two that were fully colored (the haunted house?) seemed out of place with the others, stylistically. I came across a couple of spelling issues but can't remember what they were unfortunately. The sounds were funny (especially the doorbell!) but I'm not sure that they are really necessary.
I enjoyed the way you approached dialogue and indicated particular characters' choices with colors. The point of view of the writing was a bit confusing though. There was a collective "we" often used, but it's not clear who I am. Am I a fourth member who is sometimes, strangely, not ever referred to by my friends? Seems like it got a little away from you towards the end of my playthrough, with the ending related to calling Mickey's dad not really going anywhere? Did you deviate from your outlining at some point?
I was really impressed by the notably different experiences that I had between different playthroughs. I got a "good" and "bad" ending in my two playthroughs and enjoyed both experiences. I particularly liked how you conveyed the urgency of situation at the beginning with so many choices which felt like racing thoughts. The overall experience seems pretty balanced, but also a bit underdeveloped in some areas (the endings felt a little rushed, and the title is still in a placeholder state). I think commenting on the type of ending helps encourage a replay, but also seem a little clunky in the way they are currently implemented. Perhaps there is different language that conveys that information but still remains in character with the story?
There were many good moments in this. I enjoyed the way you described the events and objects in the character's imagination. The details were interesting and felt appropriately surreal and, at times, silly ("Kitten around? More like.. let meowt."). Resetting the screen as we shifted from conversation with the therapist, to imagination, and then back was quite effective. The writing seemed to lose focus when we got back to the therapist and then ended in a way that was unexpected. Was it a bug? Incomplete?
I thought the experience was very pleasant with a lot of rich detail describing what would be otherwise very mundane tasks. I appreciated that, as a wizard, I could do chores that involved spellcasting, magical beasts, or potions. There were a couple typos that I recall: tomatos (tomatoes), juvinille (juvenile) but I think I encountered an unexpected ending with the knight. I sent her off with the salve and then suddenly there were no more choices.
Nicely done! I wasn't sure how I was going to get out of the situation but it did seem like I was always being given new, novel choices to keep things moving. The ending was unexpected, but it definitely fits in the logic of the world you've created. The image and attention to the design of the page all add to the experience, but the sound is my favorite detail. The way the muzak would start over each loop was really great at emphasizing the situation!
Very nicely done. Was not expecting to end up staying in the house. There was a nice balance of building tension and lighthearted moments to keep me engaged. I was expecting at some point to be in danger but was happy that the experience didn't go that way for me. I enjoyed asking the ghost about hobbies and also being able to draw on the window with my breath.
This needs more revision as there are many bugs which make it difficult to play. (For example: the background is missing for the ground in the first level, and there seems to be no way to successfully get back onto the platforms once you fall off in the second level.
I know your concept involved interacting with people you encounter along the way, but (maybe due to the bugs) did not encounter any narrative or story elements.
Please revise before 12/18 and resubmit for credit.
This is off to a very promising start. It has a great setting and I enjoy the voice you're using to tell the story. There's suddenly a pretty big jump from short journal entries to something much longer, which reads a little less like a diary but is still enjoyable and easy to follow. I would love to play a fully fleshed out version of this!
Really wonderful game with some great writing. I loved the mix of wonderful and absurd things that happened in the dream world. It kept me engaged throughout the experience and curious about what might happen next. The feeling reminded me of some Lewis Carroll stories and I'm interested in checking out the book which inspired this.
Silly game but also interesting to see the jump from being initially text-based. It feels unfinished and could use some further refinement.
Things I liked:
- The goofy tone of the writing and the humor
- The flirt button
Things which need improvement:
- Many mechanical aspects of the game are unclear. For example: How do I control things? What can I interact with or not? When can I interact with things?
- Spelling and grammar issues. The game has a rough feeling with all the memes and mismatching visual language (see below), so there's an argument to be made about how deliberate these mistakes are, but it's still unclear.
- Inconsistent visual language. There's a real mix of styles on display here for such a short experience. Try working with a more deliberate choice that unifies things.
- Bugs. There's at least one bug which cut the game short for me (when I selected the option to check things out, nothing happened.
Very fun and engaging! I was able to successfully solve the murder. The dialogue and characters were fun and memorable, though the story was a little hard to keep straight at times. There were many moments where I thought I had figured it out only to then realize my suspicions were incorrect. Some nice twists and turns.
I think the game deserves some further development to address some of the rougher aspects related to interaction and UI. The text is only skippable at certain points but otherwise it moves along at a slightly tedious pace if you are repeating a section. The UI gives some meaningful feedback regarding what can be done at times, but not at others (For example: Click to continue text when that function is not available, selection of ID not highlighting, and the action to finally submit the suspect is not clear).
Really solid effort and good fun!
Very nice game. The things which I found most successful and endearing about the narrative were the moments when you reminded us that we were viewing the world from a cat's perspective, such as the description of the robots as a cucumber party or the preference for taking a high path (natural to feline instincts!) The narrative felt a little underdeveloped at points, which complicated my ability to make some choices with a sense of purpose. I would love to see an expanded version someday. Good effort!
Great atmosphere and presentation! The visuals have a wonderful storybook feeling to them and work well with the text to create a suspenseful and eerie feeling. I played this last week and think the changes and additions you made were successful. It also allowed me to play through with intentionally different choices, and I must admit that I found the path with the eye somewhat more compelling of the two as it felt a bit more sinister and unnerving. Excellent nonetheless!
What a warm and inviting atmosphere you've created. I thought that the visuals and sound worked really well in support of the game's text. I was afraid of the sound's volume due to the warning, but I think I was able to find a pretty comfortable listening level. One of my favorite moments was lingering in the warm sun with my friends (a satisfying ending!) If I had one immediate regret, it would be that I didn't choose the "You bugged me?" response when I had the chance!
The End: Unexplainable-Inexplainable comments · Posted in The End: Unexplainable-Inexplainable comments
I initially got DEAD END C: No looking back. The visuals and sound work so well with the text to create a truly dreadful atmosphere. The voice honestly creeped me out and was a great addition this week. Make sure to let people know 1. they need to use the dark theme otherwise text will be unreadable and 2. the game may require an initial restart to load properly. Great work!
Really fun game! I played as a vampire doctor in service to a lonely queen. I chose to bite the queen and cure her loneliness but was haunted by her transformation into a tyrant each time I looked at her gifted portrait.
The writing was really wonderful. I enjoyed my choices but felt like I arrived at the ending so quickly once I decided to help the queen (perhaps I was just enjoying it too much and was sorry for it to end!)
I led my tribe to successfully endure the winter, but only just barely!
I didn't notice any issues aside from the occasion typo or awkward phrasing. To be honest, it was quite engaging to have so much choice and also still be uncertain about the outcome. There was a good balancing of the random elements which kept the narrative feeling urgent and surprising.
While your focus was heavily on developing this system, which feels successful, I was quite impressed with the way you wove in storytelling. It gave me a lot encouragement and context to make dire choices and keep going.
Very enjoyable! I played it a couple of times to see if I could influence the ending.
I am trapped in a series of rooms and I have to pee. At some point I realized I was a dog because I ate dog food and it was no big deal. Ha. I got stuck in the kitchen moving a chair and ended up peeing on the floor.
I didn't run into any technical issues. There were a lot of choices which confused me a little because they didn't give me much information. I did enjoy the ones that felt like they included clues (such as the chair with wheels) and found it rewarding to test my intuition.
The revelation that I was a dog was very fun, but it happened so quickly once I discovered the food that the remainder of the game felt less impactful.
It was a very fun concept and I appreciated that there was a feeling of urgency to get out of the space. One way to amplify this feeling might be to remind the player that they still have to pee and it's getting worse.
I fell asleep in a car and then arrived at a hotel which was overrun by living mermaid statues. I tried to ignore it and sleep in my room but one eventually got inside and turned me into one as well! I got the death ending. I played it a couple of times just to try different things out but arrived at the same ending.
You created a very unsettling atmosphere. The mermaid statues were simple but actually quite scary. I found it satisfying to be turned into one.
I am curious about your choice to allow the player to sleep through a lot of dialogue which sets up the story in a nice creepy way. It made my first playthrough feel like I had missed something important in retrospect. Perhaps there's could be another opportunity to learn about Siren Town once you were at the hotel? Maybe through an exchange with an employee?
I am Ravencaller, and I serve my Old God. I meet a mysterious companion who is a guardian warden, and we adventure together before I finally kill him in the name of my God. After which, I transform into a bird!
There was one spot where I was supposed to press buttons with my partner where the block of text accidentally printed twice. I also think the choice which indicate "You played as..." could probably be handled more seamlessly by keeping track of my player choice with a variable.
I played with both characters, Ravencaller and then Fevaro. This was a good order as I felt like Fevaro's path gave me more insight into what I was doing as Ravencaller. In some ways, I think Fevaro's track was the more interesting of the two choices: more action and better banter. Playing both felt rewarding though and I enjoyed seeing the paths branch off and merge again and again.
I was very pleased that I chose the correct answer to the riddle in my first playthrough. It made me feel clever and I actually wondered if it was a trick where all answers could have been correct. I tested this in my second playthrough and was surprised to get the answer wrong with another choice. I'm not sure if the abrupt ending there would have left me satisfied and wonder if it might be designed to cleverly encourage me try again and again.
I am a detective who is trying to solve the mysterious death of a famous Bollywood actor. My investigations lead to supernatural conclusions that I can't seem to shake, and which continue to haunt me even after the case is closed.
I didn't experience any issues. There was a part near the end where it feels like you break the fourth wall and inform me as the reader that where I am is the result of my decisions. It's a little confusing because I'm not actually clear if you are speaking to me as the reader or as the character.
Some great things:
Really wonderful writing which fit the noir genre very well. "Chhota's information was a match struck in a gunpowder factory." Very fun writing that was a pleasure to read!
You introduced some really memorable characters which had a lot of personality despite their brief appearance in the story. Felt very rewarding to have these fleeting, but intense interactions.
I felt like I always had surprising and rewarding choices. I actually played through the game three times because I found all of the details revealed in each playthrough very satisfying!
I am wasting time in my room and then have an experience with a monster that takes on the form of my roommate, and then me. I played it over and over again because I died repeatedly, and often, almost immediately. I died and died and died.
Some small typos but I didn't run into any other issues. The threat of death really made every banal choice feel dire! Sometimes this felt punishing or quite abrupt and I wondered if it might benefit me to go ahead and create a Try again? choice. Everything happens so fast.
Some great things:
The language and the tone make this dark, supernatural experience also very funny. Me and my roommates don't seem very bright, which is kind of hilarious. Also reads like it's written for people who spend a lot of time on the internet, which I think is effective for this particular kind of story.
The small details about the monster help to keep me curious. Left me with a "what was that??" kind of feeling. I think there's room to expand the descriptions to build up the horror a bit.
I wake up in a dream world and have some casual adventures with some I think is 1. an alien and 2. my romantic partner? The atmosphere is very inviting and I take a swim and eat something from the bakery before continuing to wander off with my companion.
Some small typos here and there. Mostly the kind where a space is in the wron gplace.
Some great things:
I really enjoyed the pacing. It was very slow and gentle. I didn't experience anything jarring, which made the whole experience feel like a glimpse into a pleasant dream. It worked well with the way the experience just faded out.
The writing style was really wonderful and fit the narrative very well.
This is a fun narrative with an enjoyable light-hearted tone but it seems to end before it really even gets started. Perhaps there's a technical issue, but it seemed to end immediately after I started talking to the other character. The concept is interesting but it feels underutilized/unfinished in its current state.
Really excellent! The virtual pet theme was executed so well. Excellent visuals and sound. The tone was consistent and fun and the length/depth was perfect. It didn't leave me wanting. I really appreciated the many funny options for interacting with my dear lucy and seeing my lucy enjoying their star, or refusing pets. So charming!
I thought this was a really interesting narrative and it was interesting to imagine how this connects up to your thesis work. There's a dryness to the experience which has something to do with the monotony of the character's daily routines. I found that this made the dreams feel particularly surreal, vivid, and disturbing. The pacing was a little uneven at times, in which I lingered in parts of the narrative that didn't lead me anywhere notable, and other moments which felt abbreviated and perfunctory. But something tells me that this was an intentional choice. Good work.