Thanks for checking it out and glad you enjoyed it!

Hello!  I've uploaded a new Mac version of the latest build.  Please let me know if you have any issues running it!

Thank you very much for the kind words!  And yeah, I plan on expanding the ending a bit after the Jam 😉

Thanks for the heads up!  I'll look into this and let you know once I've resolved the issue.

Of course, will do!  It's at the top of my list of Jam submissions to check out 😉

Thank you for the feedback!  And yeah, I agree the final showdown could definitely be more engaging beyond choosing where to search.  I'll definitely revisit this in the future after the Jam and consider adding more choices to the showdown ;)

Thanks again!

Thank you!  I appreciate the kind words :)

Minor nitpick: "2 a.m. in the morning" is redundant!  Just say a.m. or "in the morning" :P

I also noticed a typo: "Every parts of your body" should say "Every part of your body"

Anyway, this is a great little VN with a simple but well executed premise!  I don't know if the music is original or stock, but I quite enjoyed it.  The story and situation seemed a bit surreal and purposefully incomprehensible, but I thought it was effective for that virtue!

SPOILER: I quite liked the loop gimmick when you "lose."  Run, indeed!

I enjoyed this a lot!  Well written and well structured with a nice sense of pacing and mystery.  The art style is great and I love the mood established by the background images.

My only nitpick is that the sound effects when you hover over the quick-bar options are a bit annoying.  I was confused at first and thought it was part of the soundtrack, but if you wave the mouse past all the buttons it makes a fairly unpleasant sound.  I would recommend changing it so the sound only plays when you click a quick-bar button!

First off, bonus points for including save, load, and skip functions in a non-Renpy game!  (No idea if the engine you used has them built in, but still.)

I quite enjoyed the writing style - well written without being too flowery or sentimental.  The art style is simplistic but has a strong sense of style and aesthetic consistency that I think works really well with the story being told.  (I imagine the protag being young, so the almost crayon-like backgrounds adds to that vibe.)

If there's one minor nitpick I have: I think some of the paragraphs could be broken up a bit into separate pages.  For example, on the page "It catches you off guard..." - I would consider stopping this paragraph before "Dreams are always strange." and move that sentence and everything after to a new page.  It might make the game a bit slower to skim, but I feel it helps the "mental workload" of the reader, so to speak.

I'm not so good with surreal/dreamlike plots so I don't have a lot of specific feedback about the story, but I enjoyed it thoroughly and really enjoyed the creepy animations!

Oh yeah I got that, I'm just saying I feel the narrative would benefit from those details being alluded to a bit more within the narrative itself instead of in a bonus "extras" thing that not everyone might read. 

Definitely maintain the mystery and let players fill in the blanks, like you said, but I think it would help to leave a bit more of a bread crumb trail - maybe even just an extra throwaway line that alludes to the "incident" where Sarah expresses her fear that another "incident" is going to happen just like the last one.  Again, leave the details open to interpretation, but give the readers a bit more to work with 😉

Keep in mind this is just my opinion and in no way objective or factual!

Great little game with excellent voice acting, artwork, and snappy dialogue!  Well written with a good sense of characterization for the two main characters, and a great sense of comedic timing.  Excellent adaptation of Inside No. 9.  I appreciate the hard work that went into providing full VA for both genders of not only the protagonist, but also the partner!

Thank you very much for the kind words!  Yes, some casualties are inevitable, but a couple characters can be saved depending on your choices ;)

Excellent little VN with a great sense of style and a nice mysterious, suspenseful story, and fittingly moody music that's not distracting.  I also quite enjoyed navigating the patient interactions at the beginning.

In terms of gameplay, the "fast" button was kind of annoying because I clicked it by accident and blew through a good chunk of the story before I managed to stop it without any way of going back.  Ren'Py gets around this by not skipping through dialogue you haven't seen yet.

Narrative notes (avoiding spoilers as much as possible):

The revelation after you leave the hospital works as a motivation for the main character, but the reveal came out of left field for me and it didn't seem to really go anywhere afterward.  It's possible I glossed over the early hints, but if not, I think it would help if you plant the seeds in the player's mind that this reveal is coming, even if the exact details/nature of the reveal aren't made known to the player until the reveal event itself.  (That was really hard to write without spoiling anything!)

A few grammatical notes:

Just a quick nitpick, a choice at one point says "Condolence her" - this should read "Console her" because condolence is a noun, console is the verb you're looking for :)

I also noticed a typo where I think "amidst" is spelled "midst" (when you choose between rushing to the door and trying to lose him)

"What if this time Jackie won't make?" - I think "it" is missing from the end of this sentence?

"The doctor wanted to keep me in monitors over night" - This should probably say "monitor me over night" or "keep me under monitoring over night" - the way it's written sounds like the doctor is going to jam you into a gigantic monitor ;)

"inappropriate" is misspelled when you see the website warning page

I put my name as "Jesus H Christ" and laughed my ass off when the game called me "Jesus H Christ Carmichael"

To give some serious feedback, the game has a strong sense of visual style and I quite liked the artwork for the different characters.  The background in the house was also quite cool and the music was nice.  I was disappointed that it turned out to only be a demo, but I understand that's likely due to Jam-related constraints.

In terms of narrative, the game would benefit from having a stronger introduction.  I was disoriented by the opening scene, since we see a grassy road but we get dropped straight into the middle of a conversation between a pharmacist (the protagonist) and an unspecified male voice who seems to be the pharmacy manager (why not just call him that? "Male voice" sounds like I don't know who he is).  I assume the background mismatch was due to time/resource constraints, but it would help to have at least a basic opening line of text to let us know the context of who these characters are and where they are.

The opening line is just, "Where's that?" and I'm still not entirely sure what it's referring to or what it means.

Great work on this demo so far, and I'm looking forward to seeing this get finished!

Yeah when I read "episode" I think of something that happens chronically/regularly like a panic attack (or other spoilery condition 😉), whereas "incident" makes me think of a specific moment in the past which was the catalyst for the protag's family moving away.  I think it would be interesting to flesh out the "incident" a bit, maybe hinting that the protag had an issue with a past stalker and suggesting that this is the reason she moved away?

Well, I didn't see that one coming!

A well-written little horror short with a simple but well-executed concept.  Great use of atmospheric sound and animated visuals which add a sense of style while also nicely capturing the feeling of rising anxiety.  Strong use of similes and metaphors!

If I have one minor nitpick, it's that you have to dig into the extras after the end of the game to get the full picture of what exactly happened.  Early in the story an "incident" is mentioned, but it's never really brought up again.  I think it would be a stronger narrative if the protag's "incident" is alluded to a little more throughout the story - obviously not in a direct spoilerish way, but in a way that leaves breadcrumbs leading you to believe one thing, when in retrospect after finishing the game, you realize the breadcrumbs were leading to a whole other, more horrifying conclusion. 

(Sorry if that's too vague to be helpful, I'm happy to explain more in detail in a PM if you'd like!)

Well, I didn't see that one coming!

A well-written little horror short with a simple but well-executed concept.  Great use of atmospheric sound and animated visuals which add a sense of style while also nicely capturing the feeling of rising anxiety.  Strong use of similes and metaphors!

If I have one minor nitpick, it's that you have to dig into the extras after the end of the game to get the full picture of what exactly happened.  Early in the story an "incident" is mentioned, but it's never really brought up again.  I think it would be a stronger narrative if the protag's "incident" is alluded to a little more throughout the story - obviously not in a direct spoilerish way, but in a way that leaves breadcrumbs leading you to believe one thing, when in retrospect after finishing the game, you realize the breadcrumbs were leading to a whole other, more horrifying conclusion.  (Sorry if that's too vague to be helpful, I'm happy to explain more in detail in a PM if you'd like!)

Excellent Lovecraft adaptation!

Hey, I enjoyed playing through this a lot!  I don't have any specific thoughts on the writing because it was solid throughout, but I wish the dialogue system was a bit more fluid as it is in Ren'Py.  I don't like having to wait and time my mouse-clicks after voice acting ends to continue the story.

Hey, I really enjoyed this VN!  It’s well-written and evocative while still being nicely understated and not heavy-handed - a virtue I admire more than fancy words and flowery prose!

In terms of technical writing I really enjoyed reading this – there were a few sentences I stumbled on (which I mark below) but aside from that, it was very well executed and satisfying to read!  I’m always relieved when I read a VN that clearly has an actual writer involved 😉

I wanted to offer a few recommendations for tightening up the prose a bit, but just remember this is only my opinion!  Feel free to take it or leave it as you want.

General notes:

It would help to have names alongside the dialogue.  I followed who was saying each line well enough, but every now and then I had to do a bit of mental legwork to remind myself who’s speaking – which could be easily avoided if you just have the name of the speaker somewhere 😊

This is more of a stylistic note, but I felt the second act (or second 1/3^rd) leading up to the climax dragged a bit due to a heavy amount of exposition and reading paragraphs.  I thought it was effective at conveying the devolving psyche, but it felt like a lot of legwork as a ready if I’m being honest.  Maybe it’s just my issue as a reader, but at a certain point I was skimming because I wanted to get to the payoff.

More specific notes:

"At night, however, the lack of buildings and people transformed the trees into a seas of darkness" - Excellently written!  I would personally use "civilization" instead of "buildings and people" just because it tightens up the language a bit.  Also, I think you can delete ", however," because the start of the sentence "At night," lets us know the switch of context!

“And then, for an instant, for a split second…” – this is redundant as “an instant” and “a split second” are basically the same.  I would go with one or the other.

“His thoughts and fears faded away like morning dew, boiled of their individuality and merged into the sterile daylight mind of the worker’s body” – Excellent stuff!  No comment here, just wanted to tell you I loved reading this 😊

I’m not sure if it’s just the font, but I think I noticed a typo where “wasn’t” is spelled “wasn’ t” (extra space after T)

“It wasn’t that Bonnie wasn’t interested in starting a family…” – I would rephase this to avoid repeating “wasn’t” i.e. “It’s not that Bonnie wasn’t interested…” – While this technically breaks tense, I’d argue it’s OK as an artistic choice because “It’s not that blah blah” is a common turn of phrase that readers are likely to recognize.

“It felt like it hadn’t been as maintained as well as the rest of the mansion” – I believe this is a typo and should read “… it hadn’t been maintained as well as the rest of the mansion”

“It was then Bonnie caught sight of a figure outside” – I would recommend streamlining the sentence and cutting out superfluous words like “It was then” as it adds nothing to the meaning, imagery, themes, etc.  Just say “Bonnie caught sight of a figure outside” because it reads better and gets you straight to the action!

“The shock compounded upon itself” – This sounds cool but I have no idea what it means!  If you’re saying her shock intensified, personally I would get a little more direct with it and just say something like “The shock escalated” or something like that – but this is just a personal preference!

“co-operate” – cooperate is one word!

“The tears bubbled down her face…” – I have to admit this mental image makes me laugh!  I’ve never seen tears bubble before.  I would just say something like “streamed” or “ran” even if it sounds as little cliché.

“The aide stretched and got to his feet” – This paragraph repeats for some reason?        

Excellent little gem of a game!  There's not a lot of complexity to the plot or choices, but the game is incredibly effective at what it goes for - and I especially loved the "final ending" if you try really hard to survive.  I won't spoil anything, but it has a strong I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream vibe to it.

This is my new favorite VN of the jam so far.  Excellent work and I can't wait to check out your other projects, CatTrigger!

Excellent little game with a great atmosphere, premise, and nice art style!  Love the whole vibe!

Excellent stuff!  I think you guys deserve to win the Jam - great art and music, very slick GUI, and a properly emotional story to satiate the VN audience at large without coming across generic.

Happy Halloween!

It just occurred to me that there's another ending that's not fully complete - so two endings still need to be finished, but the rest of the content is mostly complete!