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I LOVE how some of the NPCs comment in a sense where they waste your time! (Not sarcasm). Gives me a good chuckle. The transitions I agree with others, fit your game's theme perfectly, and the level of dialogue is at a pace where it doesn't feel overbearing to get through.

HI Seven, the color scheming works really well throughout the levels, and the goal is simple to understand. I would suggest maybe increasing the amount of money so that each level has some in it, and none are just empty. Also, I noticed there wasn't really a conclusion after grabbing the last bill.

Hi Justin! I have absolutely nothing to give feedback on other than the fact that I wish there were levels made already! I would pay to play this on Steam, honestly.

Hi Jude! I love the world-building you provided in this game. It really does give that sense of expansion you get when playing Fallout! The dialogue is also really good, with a sense of human interaction among the NPCs. As for feedback, there isn't much, but maybe giving what looks to be guards, some dialogue stating that some action needs to happen before accessing that area.

Hi Alicia, 

I like the premise of your game and how you used keys to provide that medium for the player and have interactivity. I would recommend locking some doors or pathways before the next one, since otherwise, I can just walk through to the next room. Also, some kind of hint or direction as to where the exit may be, unless that was intentional.

Hi there! Your story has a LOT of promise as the multitude of options provides you with unlimited path and ending options. I think your key focus should be finding a way to provide more context around each decision. Basically information and reason as to why might the player choose one option over the other. 

I'm enjoying the game's story of being sent back in time. i would love some more context of perhaps a path leading to the player's search of answer possibly. Also, there seem to be some choices that result in answers of information we didn't have prior context too. 

I very much like this story so far and the mood being set by the player's options. Especially around the altercation with the old man. I'd suggest maybe expanding more on the old mans actions from a distance through the players eyes before the altercation? He seems shady- especially with that eyeball of his. Also, maybe keep him and the store clerk as temporary recurring characters later in the game? Just an idea.

A short and simple story. Which isn't always bad. I'd recommend adding context to and stakes to the story. Sure, you don't want to spoil the results of not studying early but I think some story telling of the characters thoughts after choosing an option would be good or rewarding them for choosing the right one throughout the story could work too.

Helloo, visualizing the story is easy as you provide great ways of writing to help the player see whats happening as it's being read. I want to point out though, you have some pages that give options of what to choose but they don't seem to be ones that provide a " choose this or this" kind of options. Unless that was intentional of course. I would say when writing the story, conflict of choices is something that would make the player sink in deeper for sure.

First off, I LOVE the 4th wall break you use for the first scene introducing choices for the player. I would mention just squeeze in a bit of context as to how that might be possible. Keep the idea for sure. Maybe introduce something like an alter ego or inside voice. A game with a great sense of this would be Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice!

Heyo! The storytelling is really good so far. Tag that along with your descriptiveness of the characters actions and those around and it's like reading a script for  RPG movie. Something I'd like to note is keep in mind, your expansive options of choices and how they can connect, the selection page of 5 choices and if possible, have them relay to one another so they meet up in the end for the next singular decision. Ps. keep and eye on grammar and punctuation too!

The story sounds great in pretense. i would really love to see more context built around the choices offered and the scenarios the player finds themselves in. For example the player wouldn't know cops are a factor let alone to deal with them. And that is a continued option too, so I'd say give the player some rhyme or reason why they should choose one option over the other. Looks good so far though!

I can see the vision for the game relating to the title. I think some context to the players starting point would be vital. Especially with having 3 different locations seeming to be a choice. Definitely continue expanding on one path at a time, it may be helpful to connect the other paths later on if need be.

Hi there, i like the premise of the story so far. I would just say to be mindful of how certain paths require information or items that aren't available and create alternatives around it. For example, in the beginning if you choose to toss the envelope, later you mention the player should've kept the map but a map wasn't mentioned in the "toss away" path.