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Manta's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Overall Pitch Quality | #1 | 4.000 | 4.000 |
| Engagement | #3 | 3.929 | 3.929 |
| Unique Selling Point | #4 | 3.786 | 3.786 |
| Clarity | #7 | 3.571 | 3.571 |
Ranked from 14 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Judge feedback
Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.
- Need more concept art in the press kit Tweet needs more hashtags and needs more breaks in between the wording You have a great Steam page and should have a link to this in the tweet Overall great game concept
- Excellent example of the core of a Pitch Tweet and the Game Page, Trailer and Press Kit are good. We think this is a standout entry! Suggestions: 1) Add a link and *ONE* clear Call to Action link -- what do you want people to do? Download the Demo & Wishlist on Steam? Sign up for Kickstarter? etc 2) Embed the link in the video using the Twitter Ad Card system -- join our Discord and find out how under the How-To-Twitter channel. 3) Use plain fonts for press kits and other communications. 4) Recommend having an editable Text file (Word or Google Docs) available for press as well. Copying and pasting from PDF is a pain.
- Feedback provided as Indie Legion.
- I like the flair of uniqueness in incorporating both airborne and underwater navigation! It had me reeling back and I cannot wait to dive into this!! The issue is more of in the trailer I would say, where the font is either too overbearing in size and just a large chunk of words to sift through. I think it would been just as effective to show the gameplay and just a few guiding words~
PitchYaPitch Tweet
https://twitter.com/psychoclast/status/1451576088237428736
Press Kit Link (DevLog Update)
https://psychoclast.com/MantaPressRelease.pdf
Itch.io Game URL (DevLog Update)
https://psychoclast.itch.io/manta
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Comments
Lots of great language in the text of the tweet! I recommend breaking up the text with line breaks/emojis/etc so it's not one big block of text. This game looks really fun!!
Great pitch, overall! I liked the visuals and information in the tweet itself. Press kit was a bit long and repeated some information several times. Tweet didn't mention the demo and think that would be worth including.
Thanks for sharing!
Like the seamless transition between sky and water combat
Looks very very cool! Your tweet is very good too, I think you could break it down a bit by wording it more as a bullet list rather than sentence.
i.e.
- Pilot the unique biological fighter Manta
- Design, build and command a fleet of futuristic warships
- Defeat the Federation and discover the lost secrets of the Tharsa!
The trailer is good too, my only issue is the text that pops up, it tends to obscure what's happening behind and the animations aren't great (although the content is good) so this could be polished?
The press release is nice. Would recommend creating an info sheet to link to instead though with all the key information listed really succinctly at the top, and then more in depth descriptions below. Overall good job :)
Hey thanks for the feedback - out of curiosity, when you say the animations aren't great, what do you mean- the bits of the mission briefing that are in the trailer, or the gameplay?
Oh I mean of the text in the video that overlays the gameplay - not the gameplay itself :)
ah, yeah, I'm planning on removing that for PYG, but didn't have time to reshoot for PYP. Thanks again!
It looks awesome from all the angles..good luck with #PitchYaGame.
Feedback provided as Indie Legion (see below)
Excellent example of the core of a Pitch Tweet and the Game Page, Trailer and Press Kit are good.
We think this is a standout entry!
Few suggestions:
1) Add a link and *ONE* clear Call to Action link -- what do you want people to do? Download the Demo & Wishlist on Steam? Sign up for Kickstarter? etc
2) Embed the link in the video using the Twitter Ad Card system -- join our Discord and find out how under the How-To-Twitter channel.
3) Use plain fonts for press kits and other communications.
4) Recommend having an editable Text file (Word or Google Docs) available for press as well. Copying and pasting from PDF is a pain.
Sooo freaking cool. A+ EVERYTHING!!
+ Sleek and dainty look.
+ Gameplay is a hoot! Variety and depth!!
+ Music is good as well.
- Font for both trailer and in-game
- It was a little overload of details I either had to squint or back away to really visualize some parts.
Thanks for the feedback! Re: the font, I assume you mean Alexis which is the more curvy/angular font used for the titles in the trailer, and some UI elements in-game, and not Annapolis which is the squarer font used in the mission briefings?
Re: Too much detail- you're not the only one. I'll have to simplify. Thanks for your feedback!
possibly a bit too much information. It was hard knowing what to focus your attention on