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A jam submission

When The River Runs Dry Early ReleaseView game page

A journey to the summit
Submitted by Zwinzler Games (@ZwinzlerGames) — 1 day, 8 hours before the deadline
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When The River Runs Dry Early Release's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Overall Pitch Quality#163.2613.385
Unique Selling Point#163.2613.385
Clarity#173.1133.231
Engagement#183.0393.154

Ranked from 13 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Judge feedback

Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.

  • I think it is the silence but I was speechless too. I can't help help but also feel that it has a deeper message on the environment and animal cruelty. It makes me tear up a bit... Looks very intriguing and if it winds up with horror-mystery elements, you know who to look for ;)
  • Press Kit needs concept art Tweet is great, but maybe less text Overall nice concept I just want to know more - so not a bad thing
  • ​Love the look and feel of the game! And a very unique premise. Suggestions: -- Polish the Trailer -- Flesh out the Itch page content -- This quote from your One Pager may be a better hook than the current tweet? Maybe try A/B roadtesting for clickthroughs from both? When The River Runs Dry is a narrative driven adventure game, complete with mystical water powers and a quirky collection of animal friends -- all to be found on a journey to the summit. -- The One Pager Press Kit is really handy. Personally I think an easy to access Google Doc like the Indie Legion Press Kit Lite is really good for quick info gathering, with links to other content being very useful. I haven't verified this with Content Creators so it's just an opinion but if you have all your info anyway it can't really hurt to have that accessible.​​
  • ​Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
  • Show more gameplay rather than UI

PitchYaPitch Tweet
https://twitter.com/ZwinzlerGames/status/1452489945663348741?s=20

Press Kit Link (DevLog Update)
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1hfFjoOxXsERmNEwKAURqsIMsSOUm4jkC?usp=sharing

Itch.io Game URL (DevLog Update)
https://zwinzlergames.itch.io/when-the-river-runs-dry-demo

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Comments

The press kit has a lot of information and I get a good feel for the game from these assets. Well done there!

For areas for improvement I was not sure what to expect from the tweet pitch itself. Be sure whoever reads it has at least an idea of the game's core gameplay loop.  I was a bit lost until I looked at the Press Kit.

Thank you for sharing!

Jam HostSubmitted

Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.

Jam Host

Love the look and feel of the game! And a very unique premise. 

Suggestions:

-- Polish the Trailer 

-- Flesh out the Itch page content

-- This quote from your One Pager may be a better hook than the current tweet? Maybe try A/B roadtesting for clickthroughs from both?

When The River Runs Dry is a narrative driven adventure game, complete with mystical water powers and a quirky collection of animal friends -- all to be found on a journey to the summit.

-- The One Pager Press Kit is really handy. Personally I think an easy to access Google Doc like the Indie Legion Press Kit Lite is really good for quick info gathering, with links to other content being very useful. I haven't verified this with Content Creators so it's just an opinion but if you have all your info anyway it can't really hurt to have that accessible.

Jam Judge

+ Title, trailer speaks volumes...
+ I am perplexed and offset by a latent theme behind this "adventure" title
+ I am a little thirsty and dry just looking at the pitch. Kudos.

- No sound. I mean I understand, but :'(

Developer(+1)

I'm happy the theme of the game comes across well in the title and trailer! We'll be adding music and sound effects to the next iteration of the trailer for sure :)

Host

The text of your tweet is very effective 

Developer

Thanks, good to hear!

Jam JudgeSubmitted(+1)

Cute game and cute art! Maybe in the trailer show some more of the gameplay  happening instead of only text boxes. I'm sure the game has lots of people talking, but it would be interesting to see things happening in the trailer as opposed to just reading the trailer.

Developer(+1)

Happy you like the game! We're definitely prioritizing updating our trailer, so thanks for the advice :)

Jam JudgeSubmitted

Easy to read and direct sells point =) like to see more information about the game on your page.. good luck

Jam JudgeSubmitted

Easy to read and direct sells point =) like to see more information about the game on your page.. good luck

Developer

Thanks, we'll definitely be updating the page in the future!

Jam JudgeSubmitted

I really liked this! 😁

Developer

Thanks! :)