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Indie Legion #PitchYaPitch

Hosted by gaming chef, INDIE LEGION, Realms Games · #PitchYaPitch
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A jam submission

Einsamkeit: Halwende the 2nd Episode Press KitView game page

A horror story like no other.
Submitted by Canaan (@DollCanaan) — 1 day, 21 hours before the deadline
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Play Press Kit

Einsamkeit: Halwende the 2nd Episode Press Kit's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Unique Selling Point#163.2613.385
Overall Pitch Quality#212.8913.000
Clarity#232.9653.077
Engagement#232.5202.615

Ranked from 13 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Judge feedback

Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.

  • The summary is a unique idea and I would be curious to see how many different endings there are. The youtube trailer, while in an interesting style, does not clearly the present the project in an engaging way. To someone unfamiliar with the first installment of the story, the trailer doesn't demonstrate that it is a game or what the story could be about.
  • ​Feedback submitted as Indie Legion.
  • Great Cover Art Really like the concept of the different endings You need more hashtags for your tweet The video needs to grab attention quicker for twitter
  • ​Sounds like a very atmospheric game with lots of promise! ​​The visuals are striking and unique and the page captures the horror atmosphere really well. Suggestions: -- It's worth highlighting that this is Episode 2 which continues on from Episode 1 -- and provide a link to Episode 1 for people to download. -- Recommended Tweet edit submitted as Realms Games.​
  • Split your text up so it's a bit easier to read and use a video to showcase gameplay!
  • I got chills, sweats and cramps all from the YT video! It has a distinctly disturbing art style, philosophy in seeing the world that I just want to eat up... The gameplay is still a mystery, a bit on the too slow-burn side as well. But I think that's precisely what makes it so compelling and lingering~

PitchYaPitch Tweet
https://twitter.com/DollCanaan/status/1450601915545530368?s=20

Press Kit Link (DevLog Update)
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1skn_LuHAvaedvEt75P19f7X5bSN1eOobGU_gMOU_oEI/edit?usp=sharing

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Comments

MagusEdge3 years ago(+1)

Couldn't figure out how to open the tweet. I'm guessing this is a survival horror game of some sort but don't know what makes it unique from the materials presented. 

Reply
CanaanDeveloper3 years ago

So I had copy and pasted the twitter text instead of the link (oops) but I fixed that now.

Reply
INDIE LEGIONJam Host3 years ago(+1)

Sounds like a very atmospheric game with lots of promise!

The visuals are striking and unique and the page captures the horror atmosphere really well.

Suggestions:

-- It's worth highlighting that this is Episode 2 which continues on from Episode 1 -- and provide a link to Episode 1 for people to download.

-- Recommended Tweet edit submitted as Realms Games.

Reply
Realms GamesJam HostSubmitted3 years ago

Feedback submitted as Indie Legion. 

Submitted
Puzzling Realms
Reply
Realms GamesJam HostSubmitted3 years ago(+1)

Suggested Tweet Edit:

Einsamkeit: Halwende Ep.2 ~ A horror visual novel where no one is too important to evade death.

Your choices decide who survives the macabre game hosted at Motel 7 Heaven, with many endings and secrets to discover.

Play Episode 1 Today:

https://canaanthedoll.itch.io/einsamkeit-halwende-the-first-episode

#PitchYaPitch

Submitted
Puzzling Realms
Reply
INDIE LEGIONJam Host3 years ago (3 edits) (+1)

Your submission for this PitchYaPitch would be the following:

-- Your Submission / Game Page: https://canaanthedoll.itch.io/einsamkeit-halwende-2nd-episode 

-- Your Tweet: https://twitter.com/DollCanaan/status/1450601915545530368

-- Your Press Kit: https://canaanthedoll.itch.io/einsamkeit-halwende-2nd-episode 

Feel free to click "Edit This Submission" and update.

It's also worth highlighting that this is Episode 2 which continues on from Episode 1 -- and provide a link to Episode 1 for people to download.

Reply
Zwinzler GamesSubmitted3 years ago(+1)

I really like your art and story! The writing for the pitch was really good and intriguing. You also communicated the gameplay really well, and how the choices the player makes impact the trajectory of the game.

I think it would be helpful to have a trailer, even if it's just small gameplay moments with music in the background. Might help communicate the creepy vibe of your game even better.

Submitted
When The River Runs Dry Early Release
Reply
CanaanDeveloper3 years ago(+1)

Thank you!

Reply
gaming chefHost3 years ago(+1)

Something randomly fell off of the table while i was reading the description and i nearly jumped through the roof.  Very good story telling 

Reply
CanaanDeveloper3 years ago

Thank you!!

Reply
Noisy Head GamesJam Judge3 years ago(+1)

Good tweet text! Also some good stuff in the Pitch Deck - you should totally add more images etc throughout the pitch deck to spruce it up and give the reader more of a feel for the game as they're reading. Also remove anything that says N/A, if it's not applicable then don't include it. Check out this example pitch deck from the clever people at Chucklefish:

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/18VijoCAzJiQwA4UUks9qVA_TPXRjL78aoywE9rdL...

Reply
CanaanDeveloper3 years ago

thanks! I will definitely do this

Reply
PiecakeJam JudgeSubmitted3 years ago(+1)

Creepy cool looking game!

Submitted
Realm of Divinos - Pitch Ya Pitch
Reply
CanaanDeveloper3 years ago(+1)

thank you

Reply
ozbayemrahJam JudgeSubmitted3 years ago(+1)

I like the pitch, and the atmosphere u created.. But maybe twitter can show the focus what user need to do

Submitted
Soul Passage
Reply
LinaJam JudgeSubmitted3 years ago(+1)

I really like the pitch! I get a feeling for the game!

Submitted
San Zoolin
Reply
kro13Submitted3 years ago(+1)

Cool presskit, but no tweet. Would probably recommend to remove all the N/A sections from presskit and stucturize features so each point represents a single feature in a short sentence. Not an expert tho )

Submitted
Kanyon Karver Pitch
Reply
DeadeGuard98Jam Judge3 years ago (1 edit) (+1)

I was high-key very excited but now I'm torn and without much visuals to help me- I don't know what it is I'm supposed to be looking for. 

About the submission page I mean, just for now~

Reply
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