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A jam submission

​Space Kaiju Alpaca Mobster Bosses: The Rap Battle!View project page

The ultimate kaiju battle
Submitted by nikomaru — 56 minutes, 48 seconds before the deadline

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​Space Kaiju Alpaca Mobster Bosses: The Rap Battle!'s page


CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Story (or Starting Scenario)#632.9642.964
Setting (or Location)#702.6792.679
Use of Theme#901.5711.571

Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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I like what I read. Sounds fun and chaotic. Good job!


you see very few rpg with gambeling as a main mechanic, cool to see one


This worst part is it's subjective gambling; someone else determines if you win! It's so lame, but thank you!


This is hilarious.  I re-read it a few times and just kept laughing. 


Thanks! I'm glad everyone is enjoying the description as much as I enjoyed writing it up.


This is the only perfect RPG. DnD should make way; this is stealing the mainstream marketshare.


Haha! You're ridiculous! It's only a good RPG if other people believe you are a Space Kaiju Alpaca Mobster Boss.


On a spiritual level, are we not all Space Kaiju Alpaca Mobster Bosses?

We exist in space. Some space is thicker than others, and space overlaps with each other, and humans stretch through time-space, gravity-space, electromagnetic-space, and even  hyperspace. We are the Kaiju of the ant. The overgrown ape toying with our playset in that tyrant Nature's garden. And in this garden, the white roses, they are the red roses, as white is composed of red, and the garden melds together in this way into a burst of shimmering light. Then it wanders, like the brave Alpaca, through the Andes and Himilayas ad across the peaks of metaphor-space, taunting us to come forward and ride with us. To do so, we form cults of territory and personality. We pass collective judgement, as a Mob. Our mob is sacred. Sacred items require guardians. Guardianship is not to be taken lightly, but we are not light creatures. Indeed, kaiju alpacas are among the heaviest land animals taken by species. We occupy our own space-thought-time, a sexydimensional arena where we are both boss and employee, fired for doing shrooms.


I thought I'd think on this a few days, but sober or not, this is still to deep for me. I think I'll go wreck a solar system.



On a spiritual level, what is sobriety?



This is funny nikomaru! It isn't my style but I appreciate the imbedded humor!


My friends and I fretted over what kind of mechanics-driven game we should create and I insisted we stay away from dice-based resolution. Then one friend suggested the players be Alpaca, because he likes Alpaca, and we started laughing up a storm about all the ideas that flowed from that. Ultimately they bailed on me and I had to do all the work. This game is a third rewrite, as is only appropriate. I'm also not a rapper, but redressing popular songs I know with other rhyming words is a fun game I do with my kids.