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how to be a terrible developer ( i want to be a terrible dev)

A topic by alinestempest created 4 days ago Views: 140 Replies: 5
Viewing posts 1 to 7

hello, i am currently making a game but i want some ideas on how to be an A hole, i have already a screen that is a pink background with purple text and some white buttons with yellow text, and if you press the next one you see a blue screen, i also have it that you will go to a disclaimer list but the last button doesnt go to the next page, but instead directs you back to the beginning of the disclaimer, any more tips on how to make it "fun" ?

Moderator moved this topic to General Development
(3 edits) (+4)

To ensure old computers can't run it:

  • Turn off any kind of culling and add a bunch of random objects out of view
  • Overuse try/catch blocks (web developers will tell you this is good, it isn't)
  • Use Vulkan or DirectX 12, if your engine supports them.
  • If it's still running well, add some random loops somewhere that do nothing. Remember to turn off optimisation on your compiler, otherwise these will be optimised out.
  • You could also use custom allocation and make it randomly set blocks of memory to garbage data to cause random crashes.

To give graphic designers/artists a heart attack:

  • Use comic sans
  • Use colours that buzz against each other
  • Don't use anti-aliasing
  • Draw your art in MS Paint to make sure it isn't transparent.

Honestly comic sans is a lot less user hostile than some serif fonts!  Go for Times New Roman!

a really trolley thing to do is make players code the game to continue otherwise they are stuck in a endless loop. If you really want to annoy them, create fakes of files within the real ones.

(1 edit)

No free to play demo and no trailers/gameplay videos: let them pay, play and get stuck after 10 minutes! And disable the comment/rating section.

Don't explain the controls at all. That should be fun.