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Hello, I enjoyed the game, esp the ambiguity was exciting <3 Not to mention it is actually finished! :v

Some random stuff that caught my attention while reading:

- "a BURST of pent up passion BURSTs within"

- "silence descends IN the room" (Should be ON or upon)

-"his slow violence is learning to be reigned in with great effort" (This sentence sounds like all its words were put in a bag and shook very hard)

- (Describing Chao's demeanour) "he brings himself" (instead of carries himself)

I'm sure there's more, so the text could use some fixing up! 

I'm not saying this to nitpick, but because I know how hard it is to see one's own mistakes and I'd rather take a little time to point them out to you instead of shrugging and moving on... 

So yeah, thanks for the cool game!  :v 

If you want me to pimp your English, my email is on my profile

The story is good but the writing, um...I have a list of things if you're interested in improving it. 

I understand that people want to be encouraging, but I found a LOT of stuff that needs fixing and I'm not talking about typos, I mean the writing itself. If you want the 'red pill' my email can be found on my profile, otherwise top of the day to ya :*

This game could be the bomb if the ending wasn't so lackluster :v 

The best things are born without deadlines attached to them <3

Wasn't there a menu option? : v I think you can choose it actually!

Building me a house in this economy? :D Hell yea! 

I love your stuff so much *-* 

I answered to you a bit too pissed off honestly, because you're expecting the utmost care from people - so it seems - without thinking of your due diligence first 

And I feel if one has high demands then they should do their part too

In general: CWs are totally out of control already and people still demand more from creators. I personally think all this pandering needs to stop. We should be all responsible, self-aware adults here, who don't need everything, and I mean absolutely everything spelled out for us. I also find it a bit BS honestly, that all these very sensitive and/or traumatized folks are so eager to consume all the clearly-more-on-the-unhinged-side content...I mean, for example I don't like blood and gore, and after watching a slasher movie anyway, I'm not gonna complain about how I wasn't told specifics about the violence, you see what I mean? 

I think because it is VERY obvious what this game is babe :x 

There's a complete CW list here,  statements before the game starts, and SFW options in-game 

Dou you want the creators to hug you personally, and whisper the warnings directly into your ears in a calming manner or what? 

Peeps downvote your comment because it's whiny spamming, honestly 

It's actually more fun to kiss Dante as a boy! :D

Hey,

You might be aware of the issue already as this is a WIP,  but I wanted to point out in case you've missed it:

after questioning Sebastian in his office, our POV seems to be blending with his - suddenly we seem to be privy to his thoughts and feelings in various paragraphs 

Of course, I can only react to what I read. If it doesn't make sense without parts that are not present or without parts which don't exist yet, then...I don't feel like that's my responsibility? :v  *pointing finger slowly at ya'*  

Being hired! into a position like that through a "job application process" is, omg, how to put this nicely... - I'm sorry, I'm known to be blunt. - Uh, nonsense? Unrealistic and opposing everything one may or may not know about the dynamics of power, control and frankly just humans in general. I'm rather surprised you're trying to defend it at all - it wouldn't happen in the most meritocratic of made up societies. Because people are still people and politics is still politics. 

ROYAL. ADVISOR. Consider these words for a minute. You think sb. is being "hired" to be an advisor/whatever of Charles III? 

Yea, exactly. And he's not even from a medieval/-ish society.

You'd need to be chosen. Hand picked. And you'd have many competent competitors for such a coveted position. (Once upon a time, the Conservative Party opened their arms wide for candidates who never participated in politics before. They got 4000 applicants. And in the end, 4 were chosen. Who were, ultimately, very much like the career politicians they already had...) 

You would need real, not made up connections in high-society, years of advisory experience, immense trust from at least part of the court and at least one of the royals already.  You'd need to be present for a substantial amount of time before all this. You'd never get in as an outsider, never! It's like trying for the top of academia without any formal education. Come on, man. 

Look, at the end of the day, this is not my circus, not my monkeys. But I do recognize a hot mess when I see one and I'd rather not waste my time on messy drafts :v  

Edit: Remembered the wrong party and higher numbers, but still

One last thing:   write what you know

Uhm, yea, but this needs a lot of polishing. :v

Smoother transitions, more reasonable explanations, a better match of the environment and the behaviour of characters. I don't mean to offend, but this is very clearly not thought through properly and I was tempted to close my browser tab at the point of being hired as a Royal Advisor off the street...excuse me, but like, what? XD Why? Do these people WANT to be assassinated? Just write that we have a contact in the court already, who enjoys the trust of one of the royals, and they make sure we get in   

Thank you! 

Btw, your IF is really fun! ^-^ 

I usually don't like puzzles or riddles, but yours are interesting enough to actually think about. The writing is good, I feel like I'm reading a screenplay if that makes sense? Keep up the good work! :v

*snort laugh* Yea xD

Yes, please, and thank you! 

Also: Are you on Ko-fi? I'd like to throw money at you! :v 

*retreating into the shrubbery while whispering*  I'll be waiting *-*

It's really good so far,  the tracks are super fitting too, which is much less common than I'd like it to be... Anyway, please go back to working on this, like right now! Thanks! :D

Hey, thanks for answering and not being offended by my bluntness! :v

I didn't clock that it is a time period thing; I guess cause that would usually be old English or in this case, simply old German? It's an interesting approach, but one to reconsider I think!

Sorry about that, I think people speculate so much because the influence of another language on your writing is very strong, and it makes them curious! 

Cheers, and keep up the good work! :x 

I love the way you write, it's so...elegant? Can't wait for more! *-*

I, uhh, I'm not one for mincing words, so Imma' just say it straight:

I wanted to like it, but as the story is right now... It's a draft. In bad English. :'I  It was a bit of a struggle to read, to be honest. It defo needs some fixing up, mostly language-wise. 

Are you Hungarian, by any chance?

The chapter drops off a bit abruptly for me, after "Too human". Is that normal?

Hey, I found this one thing:

After choosing to study politics and later changing our clothes we get the line:"(no longer smelling like sweat, metal and dirt)" even though we didn't train!

:v

Omg, I was trying to call him Saint Nik XD

All I have to say is this:

Was my comment condescending? Yes, I was a bit of an asshat. I left all my comments on, because I didn't want to pretend I wasn't.

BUT: I don't allow myself to say anything nearly as mean or non-sensical as y'all do, or to devolve into such emotional vomiting one can see all over here. 

Half the time I feel like people who answer my comment are talking to someone else (my image washed together with mean critics of the past or straight up imaginary ones, I can only guess), and about stuff I did not say at all (e.g.: "I will shut the fuck up, when...") That was actually one of you, who wrote that

Calling my original comment 'cruel' is ridiculous. If you think that's cruel, I don't know what to say. It wasn't kind, I can sign for that. (Btw, are you acting like the paragons of kindness here? Oh, of course, you're better than me, more supportive than me, so you are allowed to be mean to someone else while white-knighting, straw-manning and cursing. I see, alright, my bad.) 

All in all: will you look at yourselves and your comments for a second please? You feeling righteous makes you do worse things than I did. Stop spiralling, egging each other on and making epic drama where there is none. 

Bless y'all

Ps.:

I'm not going to answer to anything here anymore, as I'm sure none of you bother to try to understand where I'm coming from. You seem extremely happy in your self-righteous outrage circle. Have fun, but know this: you are doing the same, and worse things, which you are stoning me for

One of the best games on Itch, for sure! 

If you're thinking about buying this game, please do it! You won't regret it! <3 

Hey, at least I've got Sundays off! :v

You don't know how to write and you don't know how to make a valid argument. I can't do anything with whatever this is trying to be

"Malicious theatrics"...damn, the irony is...world class 

Yikes, I didn't mean to obliterate your will to write, sorry about that! :I 

I get a bit, uh, riled up when I see something that could be good but isn't; it frustrates me in a weird way and then I might leave critiques without pulling my punches...with that said, I'm not taking any of it back, 'cause I think my points are valid

As I said before, and I chose these words deliberately: you're "an inexperienced writer", not a talentless one. And as you're aware, you lack skill. You do, but - while outsourcing your writing may be the more sensible option - is that what you really want?

Won't you try to get better instead? 

I - could assist you. I'm not ghost-writing for anyone, but I can advise you about your writing and discuss plotholes, inconsistencies, POVs, style, rhythm etc. 

Keep in mind, English is my second language, so I'm less likely to be able to help you there

Mr. Clipboard comes to the rescue, lookit' :

"I second this, the whole thing could be half as long with the same effect :v It made me skim over quite a few paragraphs! 

Also, there are statements which kind of contradict each other, stuff like (I'm paraphrasing here): "he wouldn't mind his flirtations, if he wasn't responsible for his bro's accident" then "he despised his blatant flirtatiousness". So, which is it? He does not mind it too much or he hates it? 

Another thing, there's no need to explain to us that Roman and Alphonse speak in code, we're not idiots XD We've already been informed he's getting bodies from somewhere, and from the nature of the conversation on the phone it's pretty clear what's up. The classic law of SHOW NOT TELL applies. I immediately felt "this is an inexperienced writer", which is fine, of course, but it's like watching someone miss a slam-dunk live, a bit of a bummer  

Bonus: the tone of the text could be way more casual; a more everyday colloquial style fits the story more IMO, but this is also a matter of preference. I feel it was probably as much of a disservice to your story to use AI, as help. 

Cool idea tho! :v "

This made me laugh :'D 

First of all, NSFW is not necessarily porn, it includes erotica, which is super broad! And the tag should include violence, but that aspect seems to be forgotten more often than not.

I get you a bit, I wouldn't mind personally if pornographic content was missing from this site, BUT banning it on principle is all kinds of wrong...and the very point of Itch is the creative freedom it provides. 

Also, the other commenters are making this point you keep ignoring: you and anyone else who doesn't like NSFW games have a multitude of options. Zillions. We, on the other hand, only have Itch.  :v (Do let me know if I'm being ignorant, but I'm not familiar with any alternatives)

This crappy little game has no business being this funny! :D  

No worries, and thanks for fixing it so fast! Seems to be running fine now ^-^

Hey, when I'm starting a New Game, Mirrorandum attempts to connect to Steam, and then crashes with an error "No licenses" :'v

Hey, I really enjoyed your game! ^-^ I could fix up the English version, if you like! :x 

Super promising! *-*