itch.io

There are nicer ways to say things. Think about how your criticism comes across in tone when you give it. This sounds intentionally mean and obnoxious. People write what ever they want to write and don’t have to write what they know because writing is done in free will. While feedback can be good you weren’t asked to give your unsolicited opinion on what this author should write. It seems you just wanted to flex your history knowledge. This would’ve been helpful if you weren’t so unkind about it. 

If you can’t say your criticism with better tact perhaps trying working on that. 

You're looking too closely at real history here, I think. This isn't a realistic historical depiction - it's set in a (semi?) high fantasy universe/world of my own making so...yeah? It's not going to follow that? Candidates are screened, then interviewed by staff, then background checked more thoroughly, then interviewed again, then a third time, then their possessions are removed from them and they are presented entirely new clothes (i.e. the uniform) then they're allowed into the throne room with a guard escort. As I said: a long, tedious process that I didn't think people would want to read through, regardless of how accurate it is to one (or more) real life cultures.

To clarify: this is absolutely a mess. I'm grateful to the people who did like it, but I am the first to admit to anyone who asks that this isn't my finest work and I don't like how I was progressing it. But I would say that because of pacing issues, mischaracterisation in places, and way too many choices forced into places they don't need to be.

You have every right to not like it. To be as blunt as you were, since that seems to just be better in this scenario, I really don't care either way. Your initial comment did point out some things I would absolutely want to fix, but you also littered it with unnecessary snark that felt a lot like it was just aimed to mock me. Your criticisms are mostly valid, I would go so far as to agree, but the way you're pointing them out is pretentious and more than a little rude I think.

You clearly enjoy a more historically accurate read, which this is not and will never be, and the fact that you apparently forced yourself to read through it (which is absolutely a you problem, I didn't have a gun to your head, even if I appreciate the commitment to the attempt at the end of the day) just to tell me in far too many words that it was dogshit and you regretted it? It just feels...unnecessary. Even a simple "this wasn't for me and it needs a lot of polishing with the [insert pacing issue or whatever here]" probably would've been less douchey at the end of the day.