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Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm really happy you enjoyed the graze mechanic and the gameplay. The graze meter bar mechanic isn't unique to our games, but I don't think it has a lot of use and I really wanted to feature it for the exact reasons you listed. <3

We do have some known issues, especially in the second level, that we are hoping to correct in the next couple weeks. The random teleportation of enemies is not on purpose, and we we absolutely telegraph it if it were. We initially had enemies coming up from the bottom, but ran out of time to make multiple visual/audio assets to telegraph this to players, so that got cut from the version we published.

If you have a moment, could you tell me when you were taking the multiple instances of damage? Did you notice it on multiple levels, or just one? Again, thank you so much for the feedback!

Yippee! Okay, I came back to check for a new build and you delivered! I can play the game and I did--kind of.

I think it's a bit hard. It seems like the majority if not all the bullets are player directed, so there's very little respite from the onslaught of bullets. I know that you can theoretically parry the red bullets, but the risk associated with doing so feels too costly (too many other bullets that can damage me.) There are a good number of healing items in the level, but they tend to not make up for the amount of times I get hit. The second wave of enemies have super fast bullets and there are so many enemies shooting at me, that it feels like I will never get past them--so I might just not be the target demographic for the difficulty you are presenting today, and that is okay.

It does seem like you can go "off-screen" on the left side of the playable area, but it's not clear where that cut off is meant to be. My character visually disappeared if I went too far to the left, but enemies were still targeting me there. I also experimented with trying to just fly around the enemies, but I figured out (maybe???) that there is a limit to how far from the camera the player can move (or the enemies just managed to kill me by the time I was about to pass them by.)

My feeling overall is that the game would benefit from:

• the bullets doing less damage in general 
• varying up bullet patterns from enemies 
• making the first PC bullet type homing so it is a little easier to target a specific enemy with a single shot vs utilizing the second (spread) bullet type to take out multiple enemies

Great job, was fun to play (and perish) repeatedly!

Thanks for the feedback! Could you be more specific about the skill? Were you unable to use it despite having the graze meter full, or is it possible that the graze meter mechanic was not clear? (Either way, this is very helpful to know!)

Thanks for your feedback! There is an HP bar for the boss at the top of the screen, but it's hard to see. We will be making it bigger and brighter/more visible in an update. Glad you enjoyed.

Very nice game! I really liked your music and all the different sprites. I appreciated the multiple spell options. 

Given the running around in a void, I can't help but wish it were a survivor-like with some possible AoE on-field effects that could be earned. There isn't much of a sense of progression (or I didn't survive long enough, perhaps) so it does feel really endless. There is a bit of a bug that collision with enemies sort of sends you flying? And when you die, you don't have the option to restart, which is a shame, because I'd like to!

I hope you add a bit more to this game, because it's quite fun!

I wandered around, terrified, in the dark for 10 minutes before I fully decided the map was empty. XD The music also really well lends itself to a horror vibe, even though I didn't feel like it was about to be a horror game from the initial narrative. Controls--I generally dislike the way the movement feels, but if the game is meant to be horror it increased my fear level by 300% and was very effective.

Obviously, there are a lot of missing features: settings button on main menu doesn't work, UI elements in level are missing, enemies aren't there. I see that you are still planning to add stuff, and I really look forward to it!

What I Liked:

• LOVE the phantom version of the character, it feels very Dandadan
• Love the normal version of the character, she looks how most of us feel every day
• Game feels like a 2000's flash game in the actual best way
• The game is really simple, but it's so fun! I kept losing at wave 3, but I kept wanting to try to beat it.

Notes:

• I would like time between rounds to be longer, ideally maybe just pause the time between while the player is in the shop area so they have time to buy upgrades
• I had a weird bug, possibly, where I hit a spirit enemy and they zoomed far off the screen where I couldn't kill them for money.
• I strongly dislike the control scheme. Every time I restarted the game and it showed me the controls, I was like, yeah, yeah, I know the controls but I did not. I forgot every time. 

What I Liked:

• Bullet patterns were really rhythmic and fun to look at

Notes:

• I wish there was more auditory feedback in the game and telegraphing of incoming bullets
• The jump into the bullet hell was a little sudden

What I Liked:

• I love the contrast between the very graphic background/digital feel of the card backs vs the hand-drawn images to match
• It is a super simple game, so it's very easy to pick up

Notes:

• Would have really liked to have SFX, music, and maybe VFX in the game to juice it up
• Wish there was some sort of scoring system so I could compete for the highest score (in the comments section!)

What I Liked:

• I liked your magical girl. She smiles every time she jumps :) the facial expressions are peak, especially when she takes damage, you feel it more because of the expression in the PC's face!
• Your cat enemy scares me, love it. Aesthetically feels like something out of Madoka Magica <3
• The boss keeps flipping the bird at me, so I really want to beat him

Notes:

• There is a bug: for some reason the game freezes while fighting the final boss, but I'm unsure why.
• The frogs feel very unpredictable in their behavioral patterns, so it would be nice if it were a little more telegraphed

What I Liked:

• Characters have a cool Octopath Traveler kind of vibe
• I really like where the story is going
• Music is fantastic, and I like the general soundscape (love the rain)
• I appreciate that it feels like we start this game by fighting as the guy that we'd eventually get revenge on. Feels satisfying and a bit nostalgic (had to think of Inigo Montoya!)

Notes:

• It's hard to balance ensuring that players read all the info before moving on. That said, I do wish I had more control over the pacing, because it does feel too slow.
• The combat mechanics feel a little difficult to understand because there isn't much feedback. I feel like I'm clicking things I want, but I'm not sure if the input is working until the attacks are happening. There is limited diversity in animations and the cards don't feel super informative, so I also don't know how these attacks are very different.
• It feels very difficult to lose the fight, despite feeling like my combat choices didn't matter much. I suspect the holy arrow just does crazy work, honestly.
• The text on the ending screen doesn't wrap correctly in full-screen mode.

What I Liked:

• Very accessible/easy to learn game
• Multiple weapon types is cool
• I really liked being able to fully rotate the character
• I liked that the building roof faded out

Notes:

• Small bug: enemy searchlights sometimes partially/fully disappear, but I have no idea why.
• Would like to see more variation in enemies
• The HP UI is really cool, but I think it's a little intrusive where it is on-screen right now.
• The AR6 seemed to do more damage, but resources were very plentiful. I think if you made the bullet resource for the AR6 more scarce or if the AR6 bullet usage attracted enemies, it would feel like a more strategic decision point in the game.

What I Liked:

• Magical Girl design is super cute, great portrait
• Character animations, especially the dash and ranged attack are satisfying
• Environment art is simple, but really effectively communicates setting and the MC stands out well against it
• Music SLAPS

Notes: 

• MC Jump: feels halted, like there's a lot of inertia, making it a little less satisfying jumping forward.
• Enemies do a lot of damage and the MC does not. Feels very difficult to kill even simple enemies so baiting them is faster. There's also very little feedback when hitting an enemy. It takes several (3-5?) strikes to kill the basic phantoms, but I have no idea how much damage I'm actually doing or if I'm able to crit, potentially. It doesn't feel rewarding to do damage. Enemies are also easy to jump over, bait them into pits/walking off edges.
• Regarding MC HP: either adding more health or ways of healing would probably help, specifically just before/during boss fight as there are many ways to lose bits of HP before that fight.
• Regarding MC Attacks: I have really no reason to use the melee attack. If you make the melee attack deal more damage than the ranged attack, it will feel more relevant. Right now it seems to deal very little damage, so it isn't worth the risk of getting hit to do a melee attack. Frankly, if I end up in a situation where I have to rely on melee because the boss were in super close proximity, I'm probably cooked. Additionally, I don't like that the ranged attack makes me inch forward. It feels a little counter-intuitive.
• Regarding Mana Usage: You can fire off about three ranged attacks per second, and regen mana (seemingly) one attack's worth every three seconds. It currently doesn't feel impactful. If you want to make ranged attack feel more strategic, you could try slowing the rate of regen further, increasing the attack rate, or making a long version of the ability that sucks up a bunch of mana at once.  If you chose to implement the last one, I would still consider adding either the first or the second, but not both.
• Telegraphing Boss Mechanics: I wish you could have introduced an enemy into the level before the boss that would have telegraphed the attack sooner, because the phantoms swiping at me did not prepare me for the boss. I died very quickly to the boss despite having lost no health prior to that fight.

Overall, I really like how this turned out I think you all did a great job!

What I Liked:

• This game made me laugh so much (I hope that was intentional, it feels like comedic gold /gen)
• Transformation sequence was iconic
• You went full throttle with your theme (the eagle sound omg)
• The fireworks shooting is fun and I like the shotgun sound
• This feels like a cool 2000s flash game, and that's really fun and nostalgic <3

Notes: 

• The sword enemies are my biggest op. I cannot understand their movement pattern and I feel like they're way too fast. All the other enemies are completely fine.

What I Liked:

• Player character is cool, nicely animated
• I liked your bramble bridge. I don't think it felt super nice to use/interact with, but I loved the idea and it was easily my favorite power
• Large diversity of powers to use (some of them felt less impactful/meaningful)
• Big map to explore (but I did get frustrated trying to navigate the underground area)

Notes: 

• Nitpicky, but I really dislike that the ground is always slippery
• Also nitpicky, but the camera follows the character oddly. If I stop moving, the camera has to backtrack a bit, which is unpleasant for motion sickness issues.
• I wish the game felt more visually cohesive. Nothing felt like it belonged together, including the pirate enemies.
• The game broke when I switched to the red claw power, and I was unable to continue playing the game.

What I Liked:

• Art and sound are great, feels cohesive and polished
• Really like your cutscene and the characterization of the fox

Notes:

• Sort of echoing, but I agree that the difficulty might be too high. I think the game would benefit from spacing out threats a little more. I do feel like the number of units that attack you and the duration of attack you're under when you get caught feels very punishing.
• I focused on stealth the majority of the game. The attack option didn't feel intuitively like it would help me much, and it sort of contradicted the pacifist spirit of the game.
• The area with the conveyors is a bit too easy. I would actually consider reversing them and speeding up movement, or finding another way to add a little more tension.

Hey Maka,

I actually tried to not read any other comments until after writing my own, so I would only give my first impression, but Gwen made a very good point. I suppose I was thinking that the aesthetic was more what you were hoping to convey, since in the GDD you mentioned that it didn't fit the perspective you wanted. If that's the case, then I think it would be helpful to an artist to convey the a stylistic stand point (immediately I  would think character requirements would include being rounder/squishier, more muted palettes, quirky/cartoony physical proportions, with my very limited art knowledge). You could have also shown some examples of things in the correct perspective, but my hunch would be that you'd find an artist who could translate that stylistic guide into what you wanted (ideally). 

I will stand by my adoration for your Twitch integration idea. Learning that it was something that you had to sit and think about more thoroughly makes me feel like that was the whole point of this exercise, and you understood the assignment. It's both a good thing, especially in a multiplayer/party game and a good way to stretch your design muscles.

I think you did a good job under the constraints, so I wouldn't worry too much about what you didn't get finished in time. When I mentioned the genre, I did mean the listed genre in section 2.3 Genre. You have a lot of possibilities listed with question marks, which created some uncertainty for me. One reason a lot of elevator pitches reference other games is to help others immediately understand how a game is going to work, the same would have been true for this section: if you reference well known genres as the building blocks for your game, people will have an  image in their head about what sorts of mechanics might be in the game. The most successful examples in this section would be "Tower Defense Battle Royale" and "TD-survival-like" which immediately gave me ideas of what to expect in the gameplay section.

About the first person thing...it's very nitpicky, but most of the doc is written in third person, "The player creates paths..." but in the audio section it switches to first person, "I don't know" or "I'd like to find." I can't disclaim it enough, it probably doesn't matter, but it caught my brain like a sock on a floorboard nail.

You did a great job! Don't worry about the feedback, everyone felt the crunch this weekend. I promise I struggled myself. You should be proud of this doc!

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

I did want to point out that this game is almost undead Pikmin, which is pretty sick.

Strengths: I love the lore you've put in the GDD, including the faction leaders. Honestly, I'm not sure this game could qualify as a new genre (to be fair, Vampire Survivors wasn't actually the first survivor-like game either), but I do think it could have the same level of impact on the gaming community.

Weaknesses: I will once more nitpick: it would be awesome to have technical aspects of the game represented as diagrams. Visuals in general are very helpful in communicating ideas simply, and help to make the document more concise overall. That said, you have managed to describe things in enough detail to have a good idea of the direction of the game. Presumably, this would still require some meetings to get your team on the same track as far as implementation, and you definitely might need mood boards/audio boards to direct those parts of the team...but this is really well done.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: This is a very playable game, it seems like a lot of fun.

Weaknesses: I personally would have preferred more visual representations in this GDD to explain some of the concepts more easily. The UI Interface & Graphics, gameplay explanations, and audio section could have had non-text elements and give a better understanding to the viewer. The core loop isn't a core loop, so it's impossible to tell what the core gameplay looks like from this section. I wish this had some story. There's an implication of story by virtue of having several characters, enemies, and lore about the Game World, but I don't think it's delivered in this document. I would also caution against this lofty promise you've made in the Genre section. Delivering these game elements in 30 minutes seems like a lot, and I think you would get more value out of stretching that amount of time. Based on the amount of content in this GDD (and what is implied by the content of the GDD), I imagine the base game should take at least 3 hours to complete, not including side missions. This game would (in my opinion) greatly benefit from having game pillars to guide you in further refining what is already here. You have plenty, I would maximize it and capitalize on what seems like a great idea.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: It's a cute concept of the main character becoming self aware. I appreciate the thought that went into your "Determination" system. I think this specifically is cool conceptually, and I like the idea that there's a bad ending where the MC just lost the will to carry on.

Weaknesses: There isn't enough information in these pages. You stated this doc was for programmers and designers (and, yes, investors) but truthfully there wouldn't be enough information about how this game is meant to work for me. Furthermore, it is unclear what the connection is between destroying your environment and the self-awareness of the MC. I'm unclear on the origin of the provided difficulty curve, both because there are insufficient references to the puzzles and because any additional mechanics (as you've described getting new ones as you progress) are not listed. I would have liked to see you take the Determination system and see how you could stretch that to include a range of mechanics. This would support your story about the Metaboy + its willingness to carry on while also maximizing the value of the system you've designed, and letting the player have a way to meaningfully interact with your game.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: This document gets a good examination of all the important thing. This honestly is a really good doc for a pitch, in my opinion. Overall, really clear, lots of images and several diagrams to break up the text and express different ideas.

Weaknesses: There's not a lot of information that specifies how the gameplay feels. There's a good overall idea of the game, but you've also included a list of gameplay elements that aren't explained in your core game loop. Some examples of these elements (combat, exploration, scavenging, and puzzles) would make this very difficult to find issue with.

Overall: Cool concept, could use some more fleshing out in its mechanics. I would absolutely play this for countless hours.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: As a fan of Gwen, obviously the first strength is going to be narrative. The world building and level scenarios are fun and work well together. You have lovely characters and an interesting story. (I feel none of this will be news to you, but I don't have any especially helpful feedback on this section as it is already very good.) Even your graphics and audio section, while brief, paints a very specific feeling for the game.

Weaknesses: It is a little challenging to understand the how difficulty will increase over the course of the game by reading the description of the mechanics and play flow sections. I also feel that because words are highlighted in your documents that players (you know the ones) are more likely to skip reading documents and just click the words they need to, assuming there are no further context clues to pull from the exhibit documents to help solve the final puzzles. It's not necessarily an issue, but it exists.

Overall: Keep slaying. Can't wait to play your game (I am fully expecting you to make this game now, sorry).

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: A fun, easy to understand concept. All audiences will understand this sort of stereotypical dynamic between cat and dog. I like all the detail you've added about things that would distract one animal versus another. "A long-term but not monogamous relationship with catnip." Beautiful.

Weaknesses: I would like to see more fleshing out of the technical aspect of mechanics and systems. It seems like you've got this wonderful concept, but you might benefit from discussions about ways to make it work in engine. If I were to nitpick, you could eventually add more elements such as concept art or an audio guide to help other people working on the project as well. I would consider prototyping a single level (interpret this as you will, it could be any sort of prototype) to better convey the moment-to-moment gameplay. It's obvious there is tension between the two animals, but I also get the feeling like the level environments would also contain hazards/sources of conflict. I know the GDD isn't finished, so please consider these as suggestions as you move forward rather than criticisms. You've done a lovely job and the game seems like a lot of fun!

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: I appreciate your section about why this game would qualify as genre-defining, and I appreciate the thought that went into creating a social deception/deduction game that can be enjoyed alone (although comparing to Among Us is a little misleading, its main focus is social deduction). 

Weaknesses: I would also like to see more technical descriptions behind how your status systems work, and how they impact other systems. While there are fairly simple mechanics in this game, I feel like systems interactions are much more complex than currently addressed, so I can't immediately imagine how these will work, some of them seem incredibly difficult to implement.

Overall: if you manage to make this game work, I will play the hell out of it.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: The game seems very cute and fun. I really appreciate you using diagrams and GIFs to clarify things in the document. I completely understand how the game is meant to work in terms of game loop and "enemy" behaviours. I would actually consider the idea of the "Super Spookyhouse Maker" as a real win for this game. If you can use this to allow your player base to mod the game and add their own designed houses, the game could have an amazing community and add extra content to your game for free!

Weaknesses: I don't know how different this game is from other POP (as you call them, and so will I forevermore) games. I think it fits exceptionally well, but I think adding rogue-lite is a little misleading. The game has some replayability in the procedurally generated houses, but it requires more mechanics to classify as having rogue-lite elements. That said, I think it would be fairly easy to remedy this. 

Overall seems like a fun game, but some additions to this game would make it a knock out for me.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: This GDD reads to me quite clearly, it's very thorough. You've included a lot of content to go through. Easily, I would say the narrative section is probably the best part. You've put a lot of thought into the story of this game, especially surrounding this MC. I applaud your use of the Kisōtenketsu structure, bless. I also really love the overall design/aesthetic of this game. I have very clear imagery from the descriptions in the Look & Feel, but I will say some visuals would help to ensure I'm not assuming incorrectly based on what I'm reading.

Weaknesses: Though your GDD is thorough, as I've said about other submissions using Diagrams would help to break up some of the text and give great visual explanations to cut down on the blocks of text. Secondary to that, I grappled with the technical aspects of the game a lot. I would restructure the Gameplay section to include the mechanics + core loop, because those were the first things I was looking for when trying to figure out how the game would be played.

As a personal question, I would like to know more about why the MC can both fly and rollerblade...not that it's an issue, but it sounds cool and I want to hear more about that! It may be that I'm simply not familiar with the game genre you referenced, so it's hard for me to consider what a level would look like in this game.

Overall: this game seems so cool and I would 10000% play it.

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: This GDD is so cute! You definitely played to your own strengths in creating a GDD that was delightfully branded and creative. I have a good sense of the second-to-second gameplay, as well as the feeling you're trying to bring about in the player. You have amazing detail in sections like Dialogue! I love that you have so much distinction for all these small details, I think it gives a lot of personality to this project.

Weaknesses: I was a little confused about the two panels at 3.2-3.3, which I quickly discovered as a sort of "spot-the-differences" challenge. A quick caption below to describe what you are depicting would be helpful for the oblivious among us (me). The only diagram was the core loop, but it wasn't super clear to me. Two descriptions were quite lengthy, and didn't need that much description, but then all the other items in the core loop didn't tell me much about what was actually happening in the game. "Event" is too non-specific, in my opinion. I could use more technical description in this GDD to understand how things need to be implemented to create this game. Lastly, I definitely don't think 3 months is long enough for this project, unless maybe it's a well sized team that already works well together, has bought into the concept, and they're only working on this game for the next 3 months (and sometimes crunching maybe).

All of this said, this was easily one of my favorite GDD's, and I think you did a fantastic job. I would almost certainly be terrible at this game, but I'm also sure I would get sucked into it easily.  

There are a bunch of submissions and I wanted to give feedback to everyone, so I'm going to list some strengths and weaknesses that I perceive from the GDD's in this challenge (take with a grain of salt, I recognize the challenge this jam theme + time limitations, especially during a holiday weekend).

Strengths: I really liked that you added a mood board to establish visual style. I LOVE that you included this description of integrating this game for Twitch streaming! I think it's a popular and fun option, and I think that would make this game 1000x more playable/popular.

Weaknesses: I think given the length of the doc, you could have found ways to make this more concise. There are a lot of sections that don't have a lot of information written or you describe a section as not applicable or that you don't know enough about it. It might have been better to consolidate formatting or eliminate sections that were not relevant. I also would have liked more diagrams. It's a document, but diagrams are super instructive and can eliminate large descriptive chunks, while getting the same info across. This would be especially helpful when discussing core loop or other technical aspects of the game.

There is some uncertainty in the document that ideally would have been resolved before submission, such as what the actual genre was meant to be. I think from a technical stand point, I would need some further clarification/meetings to figure out how we wanted to implement this game. I also (personally) didn't like that the document was sometimes written in first person, but this is absolutely my preference, I don't know how many people would care about that detail.

Overall, I think this would be a fun game to play!

It is really satisfying to smash my keyboard to play this game!