Hi, everyone. I know it's been a (long, long) while, and I'm truly sorry for that, more than you know.
The past year has been full of extreme personal lows and losses, and that had me challenging my relationship with everything, including my work with games.
My mental health took a deep hit in March 2024, and it was basically all downhill from there. I lost my father suddenly in June, which is something I’m still trying really hard to deal with, and then my cousin who I was very close with took his own life in early December.
This all made doing anything (even getting out of bed, some days) really hard, and I didn't want to post an update just to say ‘I did it' when simply logging on felt like such a monumental task.
I realize that was incredibly selfish of me, especially when all of you, and everyone who contributed to our Call Me Under Kickstarter, and just supported us in general, gave so much to us and our projects. Leaving you and my team in the dark is my biggest regret when it comes to my work and this community we created.
I needed to give myself space to reassess my involvement with the game dev community and face working again when I thought I could cope with the feelings and memories that came with each simple action. I’m not a quitter, and I always want to finish what I start, and I will, no matter how long that takes, and no matter how much trust in me you've all lost that that will actually happen.
Since January this year, I've slowly been reimmersing myself back into writing with some script work, and that has really been an intrinsic part in getting me back on my feet and giving me the confidence to take the helm at Lunaris again and continue work on Call Me Under.
Thank you for reading, for your patience. I’ve read some of your old discussions and messages an embarrassing amount of times over the past year when I needed to remember why I love to make games and write.
I'm going to be posting a more detailed update on the future of CMU/Lunaris to the Kickstarter and itch blog next weekend (3rd/4th May).
I also want to quickly say that under NO circumstances was any money from our Kickstarter used for anything other than to make CMU. I've explained in detail before, including in a Kickstarter update, that indie developers often ask for a lot less money than they actually need to complete a game this size just to get any funding. Anyone spreading rumors that say otherwise are fundamentally incorrect. Regardless, I’ll ensure that there's a detailed breakdown of our finances in the coming update. I also want to assure you that backers will still receive their physical rewards.
I want to give a big thanks to my team who were also in the dark. I reached out to them at the start of this year, and I can't express how grateful I am that they embraced me with open arms. Please don't allow anyone to take any of this out on them. All any of them have ever done is work hard and support me. Any type of harassment or spamming on any form of social media will always result in a block.
This is not me trying to get sympathy by laying out my trauma, I just think that anything other than complete honesty in this situation is unfair to everyone. I'm not making excuses, I am deeply sorry for the silence and avoidance and for any stress I've caused you.
Kris x
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I'm so sorry you've been dealing with so much, I'm sending all my good thoughts and love to you and your family <3 I'd also like to say it's wonderful to hear from you! I adore Lunaris Games and the wonderful things y'all create and it's a real privilege to get to enjoy these works of art. I was concerned when things were so quiet, less so about content coming out from the team and way more so about how everyone was doing. Please keep taking the time you need to take care of yourself in all this, grief is hard. Just know everything you're able to do is appreciated and despite anyone who decides to not be understanding, there are more of us that will gladly be patient and wish only the best for you and the rest of the team!
every fighter takes their licks. you've got this, keep your chin up, champ.
I can sympathize, last year in July my mother passed away and then later in November my aunt passed away.
I don't think you need to be too hard on yourself. Hope you can find your feet again.
I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses. Hope you're doing as well as you can be x
I agree with many others here. Take the time you need. I understand how losing a parent feels and know how hard it hits, though I can't imagine the grief you feel from having two losses so close together. Take care of yourself and do only what you can, don't push yourself to get it done asap. I agree with Lu that I too would rather wait a long time for a good game to be made with love than for it to be rushed and not turn out the way you'd like it. May you find some comfort in our words and no need to be embarrassed about reading things over again and again to remember your reasons why you love being a dev and writing. It isn't true what they say, words can hurt you, but they can also lift you. I hope this year goes better for you than last year. <3
Take all the time you need, Kris. You have an incredibly amazing history of making great games under Lunaris and I am confident that Call Me Under will follow suit. What you went through is not easy to process, so it's more than reasonable to pull back and prioritise and take care of yourself. Please rest as much as you can - sending you all the love. <3
i lost my dad in 2015 and all my creativity with it, and (i'm sure I'm speaking for a lot of people here but) i'd rather have a game made slowly with love than rushed without passion. writer's block is a bitch and grief is a bitch. sending much love, and please please PLEASE remember that your mental health and well-being are far more important than a game. wishing you the best<3
I am so happy to hear from you, and I hope you continue feeling better in all areas of health. We will still be here supporting you, Kris. Take care.
so good to hear from you <3
still remember sending a warm wishes email to the lunaris @ just right after halloween last year because i was feeling so nostalgic and missed playing lunaris games. health is and should be the most important thing for us all. go at your own pace :>
That's so sweet of you, thank you for thinking of us and supporting our games.
Sorry you've had to go through all that. While I wasn't 100% sure what's gone on (and I'm still not either), a few comments beneath gave me a rough idea.
Life is messy and chaotic at the best of times, when things aren't being unfairly torn away. No matter what happens or what anyone tells you, there is no time frame for grief. I lost someone very close to me too, and even a year later, I'm sometimes hit with the urge to crawl into my bed and cry. Apologies for just adding that, it's not meant to be a "well, I've been through it too; me, me, me!" but more like a "I can empathize with what you might be going through, and I hope knowing you aren't alone can bring you even a modicum of comfort."
I'm struggling on how I should end the comment. I don't want to come across as condescending, or like someone preaching to a choir that's heard it before. So I'll just say that you're allowed to take things one day at a time, celebrate the small wins, and not be too hard on yourself <3
I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m just glad you’re back. Prolonged radio silence is a bad sign in many cases. Thank you for the explanation and I look forward to seeing your work again when you’re ready
Death is cold, man. But, don't let it beat you up. Take your time
Felt <3
Hey dont even sweat it! The work you put out is phenomenal so no matter how long it takes I know it will always be worth the wait. You should focus on healing so that when you eventually do get back on the horse you can put your best foot forward. The inconvenience some of us may feel while waiting for your games is NOTHING compared to the pain and misery, I'm sure you've had to endure. It would be unfair and insensitive for us to judge you for that.
Healing is a process and I'm definitely sticking to my methods and working hard! Thank you x
If thats all true then why have you been actively promoting your new games First bite(2021) Bad blood(2022), Killing Boys and Kickstarter for killing boys (2024) which is also on Steam and new studio firstbitegames this entire time. You made a new account on here https://firstbitegames.itch.io/. You went dark in 2023 for call me under not 2024.
Errant Kingdom Steam Page - No Communication since July 21, 2023 Errant Kingdom Kickstarter - No Communication since September 6, 2022
Call Me Under Steam Page - No Communication since December 20th 2023 Call Me Under Kickstarter - No Communication since December 15th 2023
Lunaris Games Patreon - No Communication since Feb 26th 2024
Lunaris Games Twitter - No Communication since Mar 15th 2024 First Bite Games Twitter - No Communication since Mar 12th 2024
https://steamcommunity.com/app/1475120/discussions/0/6361980659854183946/?tscn=1744119079
This is not a one time offense, this is a repeated behavior and I don’t know how much grace can even be given at this point.
What do you mean 'if that's all true'? Do you want me to upload death certificates, therapy receipts...
I didn't release any games in 2024. I'm a writer for Killing Boys, which (like I said in the above post) I started working on in January this year as the project was delayed, which you can see on the twitter account. There is no Kickstarter planned for that project.
You can choose to believe someone peddling conspiracy theories on Steam, or you can believe me. I was pretty painfully honest here and have absolutely nothing to hide. If people actually read our Kickstarter updates from before, we explained in detail about the funding situation.
If that doesn't satisfy you, then that's your problem. I don't have time to sit here and pander to people who want to waste their time writing essays and theorising. I understand people being angry with me for disappearing, and I deeply apologise, but I won't sit here and take people lying about me, my team, or any other projects I work on.
Edit: Actually just realised you're the poster on Steam. You seem to have a lot of animosity for me and that's really sad.
Sending you so much love and support Kris, I know how bad your world can be shaken by the loss of a parent and a loved one. Please take care of yourself, and I will patiently await any future updates from you and the team no matter how long it takes <3
Thank you so much Saff, so nice to hear from you. Your games are incredible, it's amazing seeing how well you're doing. So deserved! 💕
I know you said that you didn't want and sympathy but I just wanted to tell you that your health whether it be physical or mental matters more than any video game. your health should be your top priority, we are more than willing to wait until you feel better and I hope you get better soon, and please take your time don't rush anything we'll still be here when you are ready to get back to working on the game. :)
fully and wholeheartedly agree with this 💜
Appreciate that so much, thank you.