Sorry you've had to go through all that. While I wasn't 100% sure what's gone on (and I'm still not either), a few comments beneath gave me a rough idea.
Life is messy and chaotic at the best of times, when things aren't being unfairly torn away. No matter what happens or what anyone tells you, there is no time frame for grief. I lost someone very close to me too, and even a year later, I'm sometimes hit with the urge to crawl into my bed and cry. Apologies for just adding that, it's not meant to be a "well, I've been through it too; me, me, me!" but more like a "I can empathize with what you might be going through, and I hope knowing you aren't alone can bring you even a modicum of comfort."
I'm struggling on how I should end the comment. I don't want to come across as condescending, or like someone preaching to a choir that's heard it before. So I'll just say that you're allowed to take things one day at a time, celebrate the small wins, and not be too hard on yourself <3