Thank you! <3 I am working on a challenging one right now!
Sugary Chamomile
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A member registered Dec 09, 2019 · View creator page →
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Honestly I really enjoyed the game, short and sweet.
This is very evidently a game made with profound artistic intent, and as such it "plays" like a poem, or a work of art, rather than a game, and I will treat is as such.
I have only played :ephemera out of your portfolio, but when comparing the two, the resemblance is only in the stylistic execution, rather than the content. :ephemera felt much more like a surreal poem, conveying meaning through the medium of the game mechanics, something complete on its own - it left nothing to be said. Instead, this game leans more on the worldbuilding, and conveys its emotions through environmental storytelling. It feels more figurative, refined, less "raw" and abstract than :ephemera - it leaves less to the raw emotions and more for the brain to piece together pieces of what feels to be a larger puzzle.
On the more technical side, I understand the struggle of not including a main menu, and thus not including an option menu - it goes against the point of the experience. However, as some have pointed out, the camera sensitivity is very high, and when combined with the (very well executed) wobble and impreciseness of the turning it may lead to some motion sickness after some time.
Great use of the short runtime. It absolutely leaves a very strong impact. Bravo, very well executed.
I played your game and I must say it's very, very nice. Also reading the devlog gave insight on the thought process behind the choices you made. I liked the way in which you presented the overarching themes, the uselessness of drawing arbitrary borders between people since we cannot "escape" or "refrain" from influencing and being influenced by others.
However, and I am not sure if this is the meaning you wanted to convey, I wouldn't agree that the arbitrariness of our life and not being a border between the "I", "You" and "Us", would result in there being "no self". Despite what you say in the patchnotes, the ending would imply a sort of "ego-death", not in the "group", or "network", but in the larger participation to humanity as a whole. I tend to disagree.
On this subject, I cite to you Timothy Morton's "Hyperobjects". Humanity is one such hyperobject, whose existence entirely depends on its individual components (humanity ceases to exist when every individual human does), and yet is largely independent from them (humanity continues to exist even if I, a human, cease to exist).
Rather than saying "Always pretending to be a self, but in reality, in the beginning there is no self", completely "dissolving" (as per the chapter's title) the self's agency to the blurry whole, the hyperobject "humanity", I would (!!personally!!) leave at least some independence to the singular subject.
Yes, I am human, and I am a part of the human hyperobject, and I cannot choose what I like, what my voice sounds like, or where I am born, but I can choose lots and lots of other things. I can choose what to eat for dinner, I can choose the words I say, I can choose the people I spend my time with. I am free to take what I am given, what I cannot choose, and make something out of it, something I am free to do - and the notion of freedom implies, at some level, the notion of self.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not objecting to what you say. You are correct in saying we are part of a larger whole, but still, that being said, we are still ourselves within this blurry "Harlequin's mantle" , with some sort of boundary, blurry enough to distinguish colored dot from colored dot, but not distinguished enough to completely isolate this very self from others, since we are all part of the same human hyperobject.
Hello! Thank you so, so much for making a video of my game! It is always a wonderful experience seeing someone experience the experience you spent so much time and effort crafting.
I watched every second of your video, and I am so very glad you decided to complete it in its entirety. As you probably imagined, this game is deeply personal, both in its content and the fact it is finished at all. Completing it, overcoming the (many) technical hurdles and finally programming the last few moments of the "good ending" felt so genuinely cathartic.
This game, with all the doubts, all the troubles and all the hesitations, was my Everest, and despite its many flaws, I love it as deeply as one can, and I am glad it resonated with you too.
If you plan to play my other games, however, be sure to lower your expectations, since this is my most recent work, and C:\FOR\EVER and C:\OVER\MIND are my first ever attempts at a point and click for the latter and a game in general for the former.
And, as for CATASTROFE, my other work, it is in fact a remastered (and translated) version of the book/photo collage that used the distorted, meaningless, inhuman products of (a very old model of) AI ""art"" to try and give it meaning through pairing with human consciousness, will, emotions, (And poems too!). I will make it as clear as I can any occasion I get: I do not support AI Art.
As always, with all the love this tiny heart can muster,
Sugary Chamomile <3
P.S. I loved the little "interruptions" of your dogs. Send them my best regards!
Eternity is not [C:\FOR\EVER] comments · Replied to feistylake in Eternity is not [C:\FOR\EVER] comments
Eternity is not [C:\FOR\EVER] comments · Replied to macaria in Eternity is not [C:\FOR\EVER] comments
Please, do not apologise!! (On the contrary, sorry for replying so late!!) I have read your comment several times now, and I genuinely can't stop smiling! To hear that my work is not just appreciated, but inspiring for other developers is something truly incredible, and something that genuinely I never thought would happen.
Also, please don't be angry at yourself for not playing it sooner. I myself struggle keeping up to speed with development, life, study and find it extremely hard to find the courage to be more open about my WIPs.
I think that there is a stark difference between a "good game", an entertaining, fun, well built game, and a game that "leaves a mark on you". I have played many games in my life, and some are better than others, but I think that a game doesn't need to be the "best game to ever exist" to leave a mark on you. I never wanted to make "the best game", I just want my games to be remembered, to leave a mark, to not leave people indifferent, and by reading what you have written, I think I succeeded in my intent, and that makes me so, so, so happy.
For the sake of honesty, I must make clear that I did not compose the music in this game - or any of my games for that matter. This is a sore lacking in my toolset, and one I have tried to rectify with not much of a success. Most of the music you hear in this game is composed by Erokia on freesound.org. All I did, other than simply choose, was distort, add echoes and invert some tracks.
And yes, I do not know how to draw. I was even unsure whether to start game development at all, since the only experience I had at my disposal was with writing. My reaction to this fear was to try and use this inexperience to my advantage (if I draw like a five year old, let's make a game drawn in the style of a five year old, and so C:\FOR\EVER was born).
Those passages you mentioned, the dialogues regarding the gramophone, the unfinished work and threads and purpose... Those do, in fact, come from the heart and cared for (along with the rest of the game) as much as I could - and to read that they resonated with you is extremely heartwarming.
I am convinced The Bridge is a world that "makes sense", just not to us. If those characters were able to see our world and "exit reality", they would be as bewildered and weirded out as we are in seeing theirs.
I know the story is hard to grasp, and that is partly on purpose. I recognize that it came out much more enigmatic than it needed to be, and I aim to rectify it with the game I am working on right now (C:/FOR/EVER , finally!!!!!). I myself have explored much more deeply the world I have crafted and understand it much better than when I made that game.
My very personal and objectionable take is that when making something like this, you need to have "something to say", something that, in my case, cannot be fully put into words. Of course, like you said - it's not really about the gameplay, the look and entertainment value, that is not really the point for a game like this. I like to look at things, anything, from the "bird's eye view", to fathom all collectively and see how each moment fits together. Sure, this should not be an excuse to make some shoddy and unpolished things, but I believe (very subjectively) that new, creative ideas and scenarios, new "things to be said", are be infinitely more valuable that retraced, redone and overused ideas, even if they are well executed.
I put as much effort and love in what I make as I can. I love what I make, because it is a part of who I am. I am so happy that you were able to find a way to love this too. Thank you so much for your stream of consciousness.
With all the love this tiny heart can muster <3
Thank you so, so much! I'm so glad you liked the narrative! That, along with the design of the areas, is what I put the most effort in and what I cared about the most...
I would love to make a living from my art, but I am afraid that it would be quite difficult. One can dream...!
Thank you so much!!
Love <3
I am genuinely struggling to find the words to properly convey how I feel. When I started creating (writing, short stories and such) I did not know what it feels like to have someone that genuinely understands and is invested in what I make. Even today, when I give someone one of my books, in 99% of cases I never again hear from them about it - nobody ever has the time, apparently.
I would be lying if I said your comments didn't move me. With the extremely troubled history behind it (I failed to mention I considered quitting it altogether several times because of how much I was trying to perfect it) and the relentless self-criticism and perfectionism I unfortunately suffer from throughout all my productions, having someone call my work a "masterpiece" is earth-shattering to me.
I think it's pretty obvious that I make this games because I genuinely think games can be works of art - and that I want to make some too, something personal. When I started, I must admit, I was terrified of having to learn to draw. But editing (photoshopping, distorting, mashing, whatever you prefer) I think makes for something quite unique I have not seen a lot around, and it very much still is a way to convey personality and emotion, in my opinion.
I have loved the medium throughout all my life, and during my studies (I'm going for the master's degree now!!) I'm trying to understand more and more on why they can be so intriguing, and where do those emotions come from, how to evoke them and what consequences they have. (I've been reading Mark Fisher's The Weird and the Eerie and honestly it's a treasure trove of inspiration)
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
For exploring, understanding, and taking the time to flavor the sickly-sweet emotions in my work, with way too much sugar inside, just the way I like my tea.
All the love this tiny heart can muster <3
I am genuinely speechless. Especially with the amount of overthinking and failed attempts it took to make this (if you obtain the two raindrop halves you will see what I mean ) your words mean the world to me.
I had to struggle a lot to make this game. And so I wanted to make it into something special. I poured everything I could inside the game. All the love that the other games I tried to make deserved, and I am glad you are appreciating all the little details. All the games that I loved growing up, if nothing else, taught me the feelings a good game should give you. From your words, I believe I was able to replicate those feelings. And that is the most I could ever ask for.
To make the game fullscreen you can press F4.
There is actually a little bit of history behind the F4 key being the "fullscreen key", if you can believe it.
That is the key used to fullscreen RPG Maker games (I believe from RPGM2003 onwards but I may be wrong). Specifically in OFF, the game that changed my life when I first played it, seven years or so ago.
When you first boot up any of those games, before the title screen there used to be a big phoenix with "KADOKAWA" below it (the makers of RPG Maker) and a "Press F4 to Fullscreen" in the top right. That screen has been burned into my mind ever since I played those games. To me, that was the "this game is going to be awesome" screen, similar to what for some people the PS1 boot chime is.
The games that brought me to gamedev, OFF by Mortis Ghost, (original in French), Yume Nikki (original in Japanese) and Bag Of Milk Inside a Bag Of Milk (original in Russian) struck a note with me because of how they build a world of their own, instead of grounding themselves in reality. It does not matter which country you are from or what language you speak: if you like the genre, and what these games communicate, you will feel connected with them, in a way. That is one of the many reasons I love them so much.
What I learned in my (still little) experience in Philosophy is that it does not matter at all to learn what X philosopher thinks or what Y philosopher has written. Sure, that is what you study, but that is not what you (should) learn.
You learn to think. You get the tools to build thoughts and realize how little sense much of the world makes. It is much more of a "scheme" or "attitude" than it is a subject in itself. In fact, there as probably as many "philosophy of..." as you can think of (literature, art, mathematics, language, music, history, grammar, mind, nothingness...)
It is the first time I felt at home in my mind.
You are free to translate the RPGmaker games if you want to! I'll add you on Discord :)
<3
Wow! I never thought my work would be seen from what is for me the other side of the globe!
I might think about a translation in the future, but right now is not the right time for me, unfortunately. I have lots of university exams coming up in September. Also, the translation process will be quite difficult, because of the way dialogue is handled inside the game itself (poor coding (╥﹏╥) ).
Regardless, I am so happy that you liked my game!! It warms my heart so very much!
Love <3
Words cannot express my happiness!
Thank you so very much for giving my game a chance, and I am so sorry you had the game close on you! This "first" game was the first I ever published using Godot (the other two I made are in RPG Maker).
I am absolutely guilty of being a storywriter first and foremost - it's what I've been doing for most of my life now, and I tend to let myself be a bit carried away by the dialogues. Programming was entirely self-taught, that is the reason it tends to be a bit hit-or-miss.
I think you will be quite happy to hear that this game, C:\OVER\MIND and C:\FOR\EVER take place in the same universe - still without a proper conclusion to the overarching story... that is yet to come in a project I've been working on quite a while now (a proper conclusion to my first game, still technically a demo).
To be quite frank, the idea of making a second ending crossed my mind, but - as you can imagine - time was quite the constraint, so I decided against it, and scrapped it as tidbits of lore.
You are right about the images - they are photos (cc0 found on the internet or taken by me) that have been posterized, painted on, and generally "mangled" to be what they ought to.
And one last thing, about the voice acting - I am especially glad you liked it, since I am not a native English speaker (as you might have guessed by my name).
Truly, I am so very happy I was able to make something interesting and worth its time.
Thank you, with all my heart <3
Thank you so very much!!
I am so glad you enjoyed the experience! I can't overstate how much it means to me that you understood the enigmatic nature of the game.
Sometimes, when answers don't come naturally to the questions you are faced with, experiencing the labyrinth of paths as a wonder and not as a prison to escape from can be the best option. That's how I ended up making the games I make.
I hope you will be around when the next projects will see the light of day!
<3
Thank you so much for giving my game a chance!
I'm sorry that it was a bit confusing to navigate - if you ever feel like reaching the end there is always the walkthrough I posted along with the game (I do this for all my games. Since they are story-based, I don't want them to be frustrating)
Again, thank you for taking the time to check my game out!