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A member registered Mar 02, 2021 · View creator page →

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This was really fun! I loved the writing, very witty. The passage lengths were perfect for the concept, letting me quickly try out choices. I really loved the entire concept and how much replayability there is. I think with a few small tweaks it could work even better on mobile - it's a perfect game for that I think. Overall, very clever concept and fun to play!

Awesome game, loved it! 

The setting was really interesting and I liked how the journal provided more details about the world. The writing was wonderful. The passage lengths were well balanced and not too long, which made the game feel very interactive and enhanced feelings of urgency and danger. Superb UI! Would have liked sound. I loved how many different paths there were to the end and I'm definitely going to replay it again in the future.

This was a fun little experiment with Twine. There are some spelling and formatting issues, but I enjoyed the humor in the writing.

Cute concept and I like how you use minigames to extend the core concept, although it wasn't very clear at first that the minigames were related to the planting. I'm on Android and I think the game might not work properly on mobile - during the customer delivery section, nothing I clicked did anything.

The UI could be improved a bit, particularly color choices and font - found it hard to read in some places, especially where the dark bars are behind the text. Loved your popup instructions to help guide me as a tutorial.

As another comment mentioned, the economy could use balancing. 

Overall, good concept for more gameplay variety and I liked the twist on the genre!

Very well done! Excited to see the finished product.

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Beautiful art and great writing! A lot of the sounds seem delayed and load a few seconds after the passage. There are many pages which don't have a link to anywhere and I have to use the back button. I know it's a prototype, so just letting you know in case you missed those :)

Really liking it so far and excited to see the finished product!

This was beautifully written! Very evocative. I liked the art and UI, it gave a very nostalgic vibe.

What a beautiful and creepy game. Absolutely loved it! The use of text styling was creative, the writing was excellent and the story was imaginative.

I love the writing in this. It's got a wonderfully dry, British type of wit. I wish it were easier to play on my phone!

Excellent, surreal piece! You did a great job creating atmosphere through both text and formatting, and your writing is evocative. The static effect was great and visually impressive, but one suggestion: use outline on the text. This makes it easier to read against a busy background. I really enjoy when stories are told obliquely and found this a great example of that!

What an adorable game! Cute concept, adorable drawings, funny choices and humorous writing! Enjoyed this - great work! There are a few spots without images that I noticed - after unlocking the door and after rescuing the princess.

This was fun! I love the concept of using Twine to make a maze. I love Egyptian mythology and thought the theme was great. The writing was well done as well!

This was great! The formatting is a bit wonky on Android, but still playable. I enjoyed your creative use of text animations to convey different moods and actions! The writing was great and the story was delightfully creepy. Looking forward to replaying it!

Ah maybe the enemies didn't spawn for me? I was just in an empty room.

You did an amazing job in the timeframe available! I found the game engaging and would like to play it in depth. Please make sure your next build checks includes mobile options and sets the alignment to portrait. Your game will play fine on mobile but because you haven't selected that I have to rotate my phone and read 3 lines at a time with scroll.

Ah I see. The text made it sound like I had to solve a puzzle 

The first puzzle in the game where you have to balance three platforms. I can't pick up the chicken and dunno what to do.


Ok, so I absolutely love this, but the text delivery makes it hard to keep playing at length. The noise is grating and the delay does nothing to improve my gameplay.

The thing is, this game is hilarious. I'm cracking up constantly. If this comes out on mobile with fun UI I would absolute play it tomorrow. Amazing writing, hilarious tone, needs some UI tweaks and background music. Please change the text delivery. This game is so smart and funny!

The mechanics are unclear to me.

This is a fun concept. There needs to be an input toggle so players spamming shoot don't do incorrect sequences when the scene changes.

Don't go left!


I am dying. This is majestic.

Good job on this! It's a full little game and that's impressive for the time period. Great work!

After I select a character, what do I do next? I am clicking around but nothing seems to work.

I thought the flashlight mechanic was very creative and fun! Cute art as well!

Oh man, I really really loved this game. This gives me such major nostalgia for visiting my dad at work and playing Wolfeinstein, but like cute and wholesome? It's basically a walking sim, but it hit wonderfully retro vibes. 

This game hit a lot of notes of delighting me as a player. When I first came on the trees I actually gasped out loud. I adored the styles used in the ending, it was a lovely surprise which made me smile.

You did a great job here. The writing could be improved, but overall this was a very charming experience.

Is there any way you can make this game playable on web? I want to give it a try!

Very cute!

check the credits for the song names for a bit of meta humor 

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oh re your game, be sure to select playable on mobile and select portrait for orientation. Right now it's unnecessary landscape on a phone, but it's a simple fix which should work fine though the main splash may be cut off.

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Thank you for the feedback! Re the opening, in the settings you can change the text delay for the options in the opening, but it doesn't change the animation speed. Also I see a bug now where the delay is defaulting to min in the settings display but isn't min in code, so you have to drag it to make it register as min delay. I'll fix that and add an instant display for the intro. I think I'll just set text delay to a toggle for instant vs cinematic . Thanks again for the feedback, it was very helpful!

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I selected play and after the first bit of text it took me to an external website trying to sell stuff.

It was unclear how to spit fire at first without reading the out of game instructions. This art style is super cute and I giggled at the farts. Love the background art!

Really love the UI and art for this! Very retro - I particularly love how the screen resembles an old arcade game screen! Good work!

I think the build is funky, on web version it's super huge and I have to scroll to see the screen. Trying to use the slider bars makes me instead place structures. I hear sound pinging but can't understand why. 

I like the music and the game concept, though, nice work!

Really liked the music and art. The art is very cohesive and feels "chef"ish while the music is fun to listen to. 

This is well put together, with creepy ambient music to fit the pyramid exploration. It feels like the jumping + the fast speed makes the game rather hard, at least for me. I enjoyed playing it for a bit. Cute fox!

Fun graphics, fun music. Not a huge fan of the control scheme, but I don't play FPS games.  I like the little text blurbs about features in the rooms!

I'm not very good at games like this, so this is probably on me, but I can't get past the second jump in the section where the background art is rotating fans. As I'm writing this, I see the screenshot telling me about dash, so that's probably it - maybe make those instructions show up as a reminder after x deaths to a mechanic that needs it.

I loved how cohesive the art for this is. You have a cute, strong aesthetic and it is pleasing to the eye. The text is pretty hard to read, however. The font is too pixelated.

Overall, cute and fun!

Very clever twine game! I think you could make the UI more snazzy and add some sound to make it even more fun to play. I really loved how you used the different colored text for different speakers - simple, but effective. The crazy little universe you built in this story is fun and I definitely will be coming back to this for a play later when judging is done and I can properly sit and enjoy a full play!