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I had a question about the bonus Emblems, Slots, and Resolve bonus that some of the species get. If I pick an orb-weaver to play as, does that mean I start with 5 Emblems, 5 Slots, and 6 Resolve?

Again, I don't think the nature of the secret drone intelligence is conveyed very well in this draft of the scenario. I run and play a lot of investigative horror scenarios and a "Here's what's going on" paragraph is crucial for the GM to understand the scenario. Putting in your explanation of the drone network and how it works in an early paragraph would fix a lot of my issues. 

The point of a mystery is the clue hunt and eventually piecing together the story of the crime, haunting, or whatever. You need to at least answer the core question of "Why is this place abandoned?" You do have an answer in the drone intelligence. Not having an explicit answer is fine for tangential stuff that can just be eerie, but you should have an answer to that core question and clues for PCs to get a good approximation of what happened here. 

If you are releasing a scenario for wide release, it needs to be written for other people to be able to run. I think the scenario has a lot of potential, but it needs some revisions.

I think this is a solid introductory job for a cyberpunk ttrpg, which I think makes it a bad job for CBR+PNK unless everyone is playing Rookies. CBR+PNK games are meant to be the Last Run for the PCs and this job is very much not that. The Rookie then is meant to be a single shared PC that's present in multiple Last Runs who's gets more experienced and eventually becomes as skilled as a normal CBR+PNK PC. I think you would get more out of this scenario being system-agnostic or for a different ttrpg. 

That said, searching for loot boxes is a fun adventure for beginner characters. I do think you need some more notes on how to make each of the box hunts more than just "Roll Perception or Search skill and find box on a success." If this job works as a kind of audition for future work, it would make sense for there to be additional challenges or test that yellow_ware wants the PCs to do.

Since daemon is an actual computer science term, I didn't realize these were suppose to be actual supernatural creatures rather than knock-off Pokemon. The daemon's themselves have solid mechanics associated with them, but I think you would get more out of the scenario with both options laid out and explored. I think having the daemon's be forgotten wallet monsters belonging to a defunct AR game makes sense for why there isn't any opposition forces against the PCs. 

The map right now serves basically no utility, plus it kind of works better if the relationship between the locations are fluid. That also gives you another column to write some more material. Alternatively, you could provide more details about Agra itself instead of just this single area of the city. 

I think you have a really great intro adventure here. All the information is clearly laid out and organized well. You have a bunch of good twists and room for a GM to adjust it on their own. Just an excellent piece of work.

I think the adventure location and premise are solid, but it really kneecapped by both a lack of specific "here's what's going on" information and too much extraneous background information. Scenarios with a strong investigative bent really need to have an early "Here's what's happening" paragraph for the GM so they can understand the plot early on and have that info in the back of their minds while the PCs are moving through the adventure. In the scenario's current state, I'm not really clear on what actually happened in the adventure location. Did the drones kill all the employees when they tried to sabotage it? Where are the bodies and bloodstains if the drones killed the crew? Why was their sabotage only partial?

There's a lot of tension building, which is great, but not really any kind of cathartic release of a big combat or a horror moment. You have a potential antagonist in the drone intelligence, but there aren't any details about it's plan or how it's going to be a threat to the PCs beyond just fucking with the doors and lights. It should be a threat to a group of PCs even without full station power. I think a lot of readers and players are gonna feel cheated without some big fight, struggle, or something to make all that tension worth it.

Having things change as the power situation changes is great, but each area needs it's own specific notes about what has power and what doesn't. That information is present, but it could be conveyed better with some changes to the scenario's organization.

This is also a scenario that could really use a map given how many areas you have. 

I think this scenario has a lot of potential, but it really needs more work done it. The location premise is great and I would love to see a more polished version of it.

I think you've done a great job with the layout for this adventure. While the adventure is pretty basic, you've done a good job of providing a lot of actionable information and options for PCs to use and act on. 

I do think you need to do an editing pass to correct some typos and weird grammar, but otherwise you've done a solid job. 

You've done a great job with the ASCII art! It's really good!

The scenario itself is fine. Pretty straightforward, but could use some more stuff for less combat focused PCs. I'm also really unclear why the sexbot wouldn't know what's happened to Stuka. I also think you need to do an editing pass on this because some of the grammar and typos were rough to get through. 

A nice little adventure location for CY_BORG. Good maps of the bar and a nice network map of the server. The adventure allows for a number of different approaches that the PCs might take. You've done a great job giving the jobsite the kind of grody details that CY_BORG excels at.  

I do think the titular hacker collective is kind of a non-entity in this scenario. The bar staff don't have any connection to the ALC even though the server is housed in their basement. Whatever connections they have to UCS could also be expanded on. If you do another draft of this adventure, you could really use more details on ALC and maybe a couple of hacker NPCs present at the bar.

This is a really nice campaign frame that can be slotted into any cyberpunk ttrpg. I think you do a good job of accomplishing the optional themes and challenges as well. The central arc of NULL is great, starting off more as a side plot that will eventually consume the campaign once its true nature is revealed. 

I do think you could add a some more details on NULL for a GM and PCs to utilize though. Add a few more NPCs or factions that can act as "regulars" in NULL that the PCs to build relationships with. Additionally, adding some more notes on how these NPCs will react once the true nature of NULL is revealed will give a GM some more support for their campaign.

Otherwise, very solid campaign frame.

Your layout work is absolutely incredible! It's an absolute delight to read through. You also make good use of the urban exploration theme. However, I don't think you make great use of the "drone war" theme. Your take on the "drone war" needs to more embedded into the scenario. 

The mission is straight forward for the system that you've paired it with, but the actual mission itself is maybe a little too basic and straightforward. Just escape into the night market and get away from the cops. It could really use some kind of antagonist threat that ratchets up the tension and pushes things forward for the escape. Or you introduce some side objectives that incentivize the players to see all the dungeon areas. The random encounter table is pretty solid.

Excellent and hilarious premise for a cyberpunk mission. I like that it's also about the PCs working to repair something crucial--like actual utilities workers--and doesn't involve them shooting people. It's a nice breath of fresh air. I think some players might chafe at the lack of combat encounters, but that can be mitigated by good onboarding by the GM. It also all ties really well to the themes you decided to use. 

The NPC breakdown of the different AIs and their relationships to each other are all really excellent. I do think you could provide some suggestions to the GM on how to hint at or reveal that the AIs are in a polycule. Just a couple more clues beyond the optimizations. But that's pretty minor and would be easy to add in.

I think the central premise makes for a solid cyberpunk adventure. I also think it's a good application of the Love 2.0 theme.

However, I think this scenario is really underwritten. It's basically just an outline of the central concept and doesn't provide any other information that the GM might need. While that is fine for your personal games, I think you need to provide more written support for how the scenario might evolve over the course of a session. 

It also doesn't utilize the Urban Exploration theme at all. That in particular is a big oversight since you pick a distinctive location, a luxury resort in South America, but don't provide any specific descriptions.

Some big questions that I think need to be answered in another draft: 

What are some distinctive sights or sounds at the resort town? What neighborhoods or landmarks does it have?

Where might Rose be and what might she be doing? 

Who might she be hanging out with or dating? 

How does the Johnson interfere with the players if he doesn't think things are going his way? 

Who hired the Hacker and Muscle? How do they try to find Rose?

Since there are only two opposition NPCs, how do you make them more threatening for a larger party of PCs?

I think it has a lot of potential and I would really like to see a more polished version.

Here is the link to Calvin Ball: https://adaptive-radiation.itch.io/calvin-ball-a-cbrpnk-run

Deleted Calvin Ball in order to fix some typos and now can't upload the new version thanks to the jam voting. Whoopsies. Will be updated once the jam voting ends in a week.

Ben from TechDiff 

Deleted Calvin Ball in order to fix some typos and now can't upload the new version. Whoopsies.

I noticed that your sector map connects with your other mothership scenarios. Are there going to be larger connections to those other scenarios in the Hardlight Station book?

Hey Duck. I'm one of the cast members of Technical Difficulties Gaming Podcast (https://www.technicaldifficultiespod.com/). Would you be interested in a recorded interview about Cuticorium?

Sure, but it's very much a work in progress right now. I'm also a cast member on the Technical Difficulties Gaming Podcast. I'd appreciate it if you could say that Ben from @techdiffgp made the playlist.

I made a Spodify playlist (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MvdOgZ4VDUw3EKz9EVrCt?si=xWZurH3YQdqwko1udfXq...). It's a hodgepodge of stuff that I think fits the theme of the game. It's more meant to be put on shuffle and play in the background while writing. I'm also not quite finished adding songs to the list.

Hi Tim, I just picked your game. Incredible stuff. Do you have any tracks or albums you'd recommend to put on a Thousand Year Old Vampire playlist?