Post by AdmiralCrispy in transmasculine / ftm characters?

Viewing post in transmasculine / ftm characters?

Oh I meant why would it be relevant to us getting physical or other representation in a game, I'm aware of the kink existing.

Because, not all trans guys have that kink, I'm sure most don't actually. And you know, as a trans guy, it's not just something we all talk about or something.

Just because someone doesn't understand why it exists doesn't mean trans men in general- or those who have the kink- aren't trans. And just because a trans guy might have the kink doesn't make it the only aspect of their s*xuality, or personality, or whatever.

A lot of kinks are based around trauma. A lot of kinks are about taking what's hurt you and running the same scenario but in a place/way where it can't really hurt you the same/as much.

Personally, I just want general MLM stuff that includes people with my physiology. MLM with T4T or trans and cis guys is all I'm looking for. Not a rabbit hole, just a slight change from typical NSFW content. has nothing to do with misgendering kink.

I really just want to be affirmed in my gender, and not misgendered, in NSFW content.

Look, cards down, I'm a lonely 25 year old loser. I look at other guys who have their lives together relationship-wise and sex-life-wise and I want that. But it's hard, even if I was cis it'd be hard. And like most other people in a similar situation, NSFW content actually kinda matters to me.

spookysoulgeek40 days ago(+2)(-2)

totally agree, trans guy here as well. we just want to be seen and represented in media

johnnyjohnsonlongcock39 days ago(+1)(-2)

Explanation to the OP below might explain it better for you.

johnnyjohnsonlongcock39 days ago(+1)(-3)

Oh sure, I'm aware ftm trans people 100% exist, but if I may ask you, doesn't that whole 'detransitioning' and/or 'misgendering' kink irk you? Not only because of the subject matter, but because it perpetuates harmful stereotypes about trans people in general, but PRIMARILY transmen. And the idea of a cis woman larping as a transman just for a fetish, I'm sure that upsets you, and I do not blame you at all for feeling like that. And while I understand that those interests likely resort from trauma, I definitely think there's better ways to cope, not to mention encouraging others to think in the LGBTQT+ space on how their actions and/or interests affect the general public's perception of us, I mean you as a transman I assume you're tired of presumed transphobia IRL, so hence, I think you'll agree with me that it's 100% justified to question trans/"trans" people in the space with that interest or if they're cis who fetishized the trans experience.

I'm pointing it out because to me, like a good 1/4th or 1/5th of ftm stuff online in my experience has that stuff, and when it comes in sexual communities I've noticed that quite a bit. Milage may vary, but a good barometer is taking agender at the subreddit dedicated to that.

And of course, ftm people like you I'm not talking about, but seems in my experience ftm usually entails all/most of the above I've mentioned. And your tastes are, sadly, in my experience tend to be on the few and far between side or at least 50/50. But than again, cis people who're pretending to be trans for a kink, well, also wouldn't be fair to lump them in with you. I'm sure YOU wouldn't want ftm to be associated with those kinds of people.

AdmiralCrispy39 days ago(+2)(-2)

The kink doesn't perpetuate stereotypes about trans men. And detransitioning is a separate thing, and not unique to trans men, and also doesn't perpetuate stereotypes. The only thing that perpetuates stereotypes about trans men is when transphobes or people whop specifically don't like trans men go out of there way to do so.

As far as cis women supposedly larping as trans guys, I guess if I'd ever come across that, I don't know that I would care at all honestly, that's just another way to play with gender and what people do on their private time is their business, who am I to talk?
However I haven't actually seen any cis women in those circles. Maybe just different circles.

I am tired of transphobia but the idea is not, "we need to be the bestest, most cis trans men ever so the cis people accept us!" it's that certain people will go out of their way to harm small communities or use them no matter what, so it's best to just live and surround yourself with people with love and support and acceptance in their hearts instead of trying to conform to a culture that would have you abandon your identity in the name of some ideal of 'perfection'.

Trying to scapegoat a kink and conflate it with trans men existing is... rough. There are SO many kinks in general, and your opinion about any/all of them could be that there are better ways to cope, but you know, that's personal to you, and has no weight on how other people live, and ethically shouldn't. It's simply not your decision whether something as subjective as a kink is healthy for someone else. People have to work that out themselves. They've got agency.

I don't treat my community as a monolith and I don't get to decide who "we" are all associated with in the minds of random people who conflate kink with gender and detransitioners with cis women.

johnnyjohnsonlongcock37 days ago (1 edit) (+1)(-2)

Um, yes it does. "The only thing that perpetuates stereotypes about trans men is when transphobes or people whop specifically don't like trans men go out of there way to do so. " yes and by using people who do the detransition kink and fetish as examples. If I need to explain the correlation and how it doesn't help our cause, by all means say so but feel it's self-explanatory.

And I'm envious how you'd ignore people who pretend to be what we are for any superficial reason. For as much stuff that's thrown at us, I find them offensive and degenerates and have no place in our community. Maybe it is your business because they delegitimize your experiences as a trans dude for larping ftm, not knowing the fraction of the pain you've been through?

You see, that's the thing: we NEED to pass in order to be treated like human beings, and thanks to the points above, another reason I think those people have no place in our community. And this is comming from a conformist, because I see your point, but let's face it, it won't EVER happen in our lifetime.

Brother in arms, I am NOT saying you or ftm don't exist: just a disturbing trend in my experience of people pretending to be it for sexual kicks, and otherwise have not heard much about ftm transguys. Guess you could say a VOCAL MINORITY of "ftm" are the problem, like 15-20% if metrics are anything to go by, roughly. And you know what? That assumption is a bit fucked, hence why I didn't just say "EW, FTM!" And I'm saying you SHOULD 100% be offended! They are clearly not on your/our side and would/could easily jump ship and live a productive enough life because they weren't ever trans to begin with, only for a kink. And I think that's a dangerous mindset: not policing our own, being trans isn't a costume for the shits and giggles or being alternative, it's who we are. And honestly, the less cis people in our spaces, the better in my opinion.

"Look, cards down, I'm a lonely 25 year old loser. I look at other guys who have their lives together relationship-wise and sex-life-wise and I want that. But it's hard, even if I was cis it'd be hard. And like most other people in a similar situation, NSFW content actually kinda matters to me. " Right, another reason to resent cis infiltrators. Think I can safely conclude that cis people are CLEARLY not our allies, as recent events have showed.

AdmiralCrispy35 days ago (1 edit) (+1)(-2)

This isn't even your community, but yet you're like trying to start some kinda civil war over unimportant nothings, probably to serve some personal agenda, what are you, the CIA in foreign nations on behalf of produce companies?

Seriously what is your obsession?

Just because someone is trans and into misgendering kink or forced detrans kinks doesn't make them cis, the clue is the prefix 'trans' there, and yes it is very much people like yourself who do exactly what you're doing right now

johnnyjohnsonlongcock33 days ago (3 edits) (+1)(-1)

Pardon, "not my community?" And no, unlike you perhaps I'm not a doormat for cis/transphobes to walk all over. Point is I still firmly believe we should be cautious of the pipeline, not saying it shouldn't be added but also gauge of the vast majority of the audience, mtf trans/nonbinary identifying people, aren't perplexed by the decision. You can't just interject what YOU want into a community without also asking thier opinions on it and not expect some pushback. And no, we SHOULD question if being into misgendering or detrans is just a fetish or if they're actually trans or cis, I don't want cis people to fetishize our experience. And honestly, if you're trans and are into detrans or misgendering, I think they're disgusting, immoral, and should express those feelings in a more healthy, non-problematic way. I mean if you're into that than kudos, but I'm 100% thinking less of you for it and it's brought upon yourself. Literally ask most trans people, they'd agree with me that your tastes are a good bit fucked up. Not to mention the whole thing of handing over your GOOD RIGHT to be upset over misgendering if you're turned on by it in general. That's common sense.

And no, this is merely a difference of opinion: thanks to your rapidness, the moderators have unlisted this entire post and now people can't come in and "agree" with you like you seem to think they will, hence hurting your viewpoint.

AdmiralCrispy35 days ago(+1)(-2)

Why on earth would I want to punch around when people like you are busy punching down

johnnyjohnsonlongcock33 days ago (1 edit) (+1)(-1)

If "punching down" means being wary of problematic actors and niches within a subsection of a community you happen to fall under is "punching down," sure. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if you WERE into that stuff, but guessing aside I don't know why you're getting worked up when I specified a SMALL BUT LOUD subject of the community. Want me to spell it out for you how a small subsection of a community with a fetish for "detrans" and "misgendering" is hurtful to the community at whole and perpetuates stereotypes of us all being into this for a fetish or kink? I really need to spell it out for? You sure seem to be able to give out feedback but not take any.

spookysoulgeek32 days ago(+1)(-1)

I think we've strayed from the original question, which was, are there going to be ftm/transmasculine characters in this game. it seems a bit biased not to include trans men if you're going to have trans women. that was my point I was trying to make.

johnnyjohnsonlongcock31 days ago

Right, and I said to be cautious with ftm content, gave a reasoning when you asked, you had a problem with my reasoning.

And if it is biased than I apologize, but better safe than sorry, but of course it's up to the developer. Of the reasons I've mentioned, we can rationalize why ftm content is rarer. For what it's worth, hope the result is to your liking but just don't want it to open the floodgates to those kinds of people.

spookysoulgeek12 days ago(-1)

to be fair, this issues can also coem from cis guys being disrespectful to MTF folks too. at the end of the day, we transfolk just want to be respected, not misgendered, and seen for the men and masculine folk we are.

johnnyjohnsonlongcock12 days ago

Agreed, at the end of the day as long as we exclude those harmful and messed-up kinks and interests, more than fine by me. Oh and thought you forgot about me: hope you had a good Thanksgiving!

~~Also, "coem."~~

View more in thread

itch.io

Viewing post in transmasculine / ftm characters?