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Comments
Art: Gorgeous exterior. Interior spread is maybe a little underwhelming in comparison. A hand-drawn map by an in-game NPC is a classic gimmick, but I think it works better when the same idea is applied throughout, e.g. with "personnel files" for the NPCs and found photos or whatever. Here, everything else is so clean and design-y that the insertion of one bit of "un-design" is kind of jarring.
Writing: I think it's great overall, balancing clarity and vibes. The questionably-aligned, megalomaniacal AI is an interesting character. The one omission is any information about what the Vesnians are like. Leaving it to the Warden to fill in that part of the backstory would be fine if it was only something that would come up in further adventures, but since one of the endings involves waking them up, I kind of want something to work with, if only a one-sentence physical description and a stat block.
Game Design: I expect that some people will complain about the pacing and relative lack of threats unless you get the Imposing Mass coming for you. But I love it. I think the constant presence of Morana and the implants would work well to maintain an appropriate level of dread when run by a good Warden.
Theme: I think this is a great interpretation of the theme. Someone could nitpick that she's not ancient mythology yet, but nah, you're fine. She wants to be ancient mythology, that's good enough.
Layout: It's fine, but maybe the weakest point (which is still not very weak). As with the art, the outside's better than the inside. Some of the numbers on the map don't match the room descriptions. Putting the map in the middle and the room descriptions all around the outside in boxes is functional, just a little boring visually.
Utility: Seems very usable, except for the quibble that the Warden needs to come up with some vision for the Vesnians in case the players wake them up.
Favorability: I think in each specific rating category there are one or two other modules that I liked better, but they all had weaknesses elsewhere. I think this is the first one where I wanted to give like a 4.5 across the board. And because I rounded up for most of them, I think this has the highest total stars I've given. Definitely one of my favorites and should be in my top five when the dust settles.
First off, I said this before, but I just absolutely love the design. The colors and art are fantastic. Everything about the module is very polished and I could see it being sold. The writing and mechanics are really solid.
The questions under Implant Insights are a great mechanic for defining the visions, encouraging roleplaying, and keeping things fresh.
I wonder if the room descriptions could be arranged to roughly follow map layout and still have logical numbering. I got confused for a moment because the text blocks seem to line up well with the map, but reactor core and chrysalis are swapped, for example. Wait, I just noticed that the reactor core is 7 on the map and 8 in the description.
I also had some questions about how things worked:
Great job, though! I love it.
Thank you for the feedback!
I agree with your comments about the rooms layout. I wanted more time to sit with solving that problem, which hopefully I'll get to do in post-jam polish.
These are great questions! Sometimes you have ideas in your head and forget to put them explicitly in text, but here are our best responses:
Thank you again for giving us some food for thought!
-i like the art and design a lot, there is a good work there.
-chef's kiss for the map.
-i like the premise and setting and it is overall pretty good !
Thank you for the feedback!
Solid ratings all around from me.
Thank you! <3