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A jam submission

CARCINIZATIONView project page

a one shot for MOTHERSHIP 1E
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Play scenario

CARCINIZATION's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Usability - How "pick up & play" is this for a Warden?#93.6383.750
Favorability - how much do you personally like the submission?#193.4563.563
Overall#213.4263.531
Polish - How is the overall look/vibes/writing & design?#253.0923.188
Theme - How well does it match the Jam's Theme?#273.5173.625

Ranked from 16 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Judge feedback

Judge feedback is anonymous and shown in a random order.

  • I enjoyed the writing style and the personality it lends to the module. I think some extra artwork could help boost the aesthetic. I like the PC infection stages and "Reverse the Curse" but it might be more user friendly if they were more integrated into existing Mothership systems. I enjoyed this module a lot!
  • I am a new warden, so my feedback is based on what I had questions about after reading, and what made me feel particularly excited about the module/like I could run it. ? How do NPCs progress through the carcinization process? Is it auto infection if larvae are shed in a populated area and a new stage every 10 mins without rolling for Infection Progress? ? How to decide when the objectives "clean up the parasites, and get the fishing operation up and running" are considered completed? ? If characters besides Rainier make it to Pincer stage, do they all need to be killed since the cure only reverses up thru level 3? + The life cycle and stages of carcinization seem really fun, and I like that there is a armor benefit to the PC. + Bertha Greene + "comically large pair of SHELLFISH CRACKERS (1d10 crushing damage)" + the writing of the module overall is quite funny and the characters are interesting + The option to have the larvae follow you onto the ship if the monster is not defeated

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

While not the flashiest design wise, I gave full marks for Polish due to the sheer quality and clarity of the content. The writing is clever and thematic, and a user-friendly layout combined with the depth of the mechanics provided makes me confident I could run this after a single read-through. I love the quotes for the NPCs, an example of how much detail and flavor you packed in. I also really like the mechanics to reverse the curse and calling out specific skills. Great work on a clean and streamlined adventure that I can't wait to run! 

As a side note, I also went with an aquatic theme that features infection and transformation, and I love your take on it. I might mash our two modules together the next chance I have to run Mothership. 

Developer(+1)

That's funny that we landed on similar themes. I just read yours, it's great, going to leave an in-depth review as well. As for your notes, I really appreciate the kind words. I know the layout is not so good so I am looking forward to releasing an updated version soon!

Jam Judge(+1)

The energy in this writing is fantastic, I think it's got a flair to it that draws me right in and gets me stoked to run! The monster life cycle is really well-fleshed out to me and gives me plenty of information to spin off into emergent encounters. Each location on the map is illustrated sensibly and the NPCs have a good spread of motivations to engage PCs/communicate information/stoke conflict. Overall I think this is an excellent manuscript.

Points of improvement:

  • Visually, this is very barebones. This does mean it's easy to read and utilize so it's not at all to the detriment of the writing, but with how much personality the writing exhibits I would love to see a comprehensive pass! More colour, more depth, more art. It deserves it! This could help hammer home the sci-fi aspects as well.
  • Encounter procedure feels a bit shaky, since there's a flat 10% chance the PCs will run into Dr. Ranier whenever they go somewhere so it's possible they never run into him. Having some kind of escalating chance (+10% each time nothing happens) could help alleviate this!
  • Usage of d4s where most Mothership stuff sticks to D5s/D10s/D100s.
  • Not sure if IP needs to be its own stat. I feel it could be tied in more directly to a PCs body save to save on cognitive load for Wardens and PCs. The stages of the infection (and the idea of each "success" making a future failure more likely) are still good in my book, though.

List looks long, so I want to clarify that the writing is really, really strong and I like this entry a lot! It more than makes up for any nitpicks. Some good fucking seafood here!!

Developer(+1)

Thanks for the detailed feedback! I have been hearing some similar feedback so I might polish it up into a v2.0 when I have some time.

Submitted(+1)

Got to love a crab adventure! Seriously, though, there is some good stuff in here! Here is my feedback
+ CRAB PEOPLE - Carcinisation is a really fun mechanic to include!
+ well-written and evocative descriptions
+ NPCs are characterful and detailed.
+ Objectives and win-conditions are well-defined.
+ Layout is simple, but very readable.
- Location keys could use some polish, there is a bit too much fluff to parse key info at a glance,
- The infection mechanic is fun, but I feel like it could be a danger clock rather than a tracked number; it is a bit more manageable for the warden that way.
- Monster descriptions are a bit too verbose; key information could be a little clearer here.

Developer(+1)

Thanks for the feedback! Do you have an example of a danger clock? There were a few implementations I considered and I'm not really married to the IP stat if it's too clunky. Could also just make body saves every X minutes and progress a level if that's easier.

Submitted (1 edit) (+1)

I wish "Polish" was separated into content and presentation because obviously one is a lot better than the other here. The writing is extremely solid, while the design is plain but mostly functional. The map is kinda charming in its sketchy simplicity.

I was initially disinclined to like this one because the title and setup feel like a direct copy of Another Bug Hunt. However, the setting and specifics are different enough that maybe you haven't played ABH and just landed on the same concept independently. Still, I would suggest changing the title and picking something other than a crab for the monster, as otherwise it might be hard to run this for a group that has played ABH without them feeling like you're recycling material. (Unless, I guess, the Warden decided to roll with it, and make "one way or another, everything turns into crabs" the theme of the campaign.)

Full marks for usability. Writing and environmental design are paramount there and you've done an excellent job on those fronts. If my players weren't already in the midst of ABH, I could just grab this and make it their next stop without much tweaking. One small complaint is that I'd like to see the stat boxes visually distinguished from the rest of the text in some way... if you don't want to do much design work, just a 10% tint gray box for each character would suffice.

The theme obviously fits the jam, but I took off one star for a combination of things. Firstly, the fact that the premise collides so directly with the one Mothership module almost everyone will have played, and secondly, that the setting really feels to me like it wants to be a Call of Cthulhu adventure, not Mothership. You've tossed in an Exo Loader and such, but looking at the map and the descriptions, I keep visualizing smoky 1920s industry, not dystopian sci-fi. I think it could work but you might have to lean into it and emphasize the incongruity of e.g. the high-tech lab amid a fishing setup that feels plucked from another century.

Finally, the tiniest nitpick that I include only because I just recently learned the etymology myself and found it interesting. It's "hoisted with (or by) his own petard," not "on," because a petard isn't a hook or rope, it's a kind of bomb—specifically, an early breaching charge. So you're being thrown into the air by your own bomb, not hauled up as "hoisted" would imply in contemporary usage.

Developer(+1)

Thank you for the in depth feedback and the positive words! I actually haven't played ABH yet so I didn't realize the similarity. You absolutely have my blessing to reskin the monster to a nautilus or something. And yea, I was feeling a bit of a time crunch so I know that the design is not great but I appreciate you specifically calling out the writing despite the bare bones layout.

Submitted

Okay, yeah, if you haven't read or played ABH it's just an unfortunate decision on your part, but the monsters in that are literally called "Carcinids," so when I saw your title I was hoping that it would either be building off that in some way or taking the crab angle in a different direction than "giant crab monster."

Submitted(+2)

A solid and well structured mystery adventure, akin to a TKG oneshot.

+ Great infection and horror lifecycle tables that offers some benefits and amusing properties (missed opportunity to have an obsession of clacking tongs together)

+ Good roster of diverse NPCs that offer different insights on the situation

+ Charming settlement that captures a Lovecraftian lighthouse/ fishing hamlet atmosphere

If you're looking for feedback, let me know and I can expand further.

Submitted(+2)
  • Consistent layout, but very basic, not very evocative or stylish.
  • Can't go wrong with alien crabs!
  • Feels like an easy premise to insert into an ongoing campaign, but may need some work to keep the PCs from saying "not my problem" and leaving.