The energy in this writing is fantastic, I think it's got a flair to it that draws me right in and gets me stoked to run! The monster life cycle is really well-fleshed out to me and gives me plenty of information to spin off into emergent encounters. Each location on the map is illustrated sensibly and the NPCs have a good spread of motivations to engage PCs/communicate information/stoke conflict. Overall I think this is an excellent manuscript.
Points of improvement:
- Visually, this is very barebones. This does mean it's easy to read and utilize so it's not at all to the detriment of the writing, but with how much personality the writing exhibits I would love to see a comprehensive pass! More colour, more depth, more art. It deserves it! This could help hammer home the sci-fi aspects as well.
- Encounter procedure feels a bit shaky, since there's a flat 10% chance the PCs will run into Dr. Ranier whenever they go somewhere so it's possible they never run into him. Having some kind of escalating chance (+10% each time nothing happens) could help alleviate this!
- Usage of d4s where most Mothership stuff sticks to D5s/D10s/D100s.
- Not sure if IP needs to be its own stat. I feel it could be tied in more directly to a PCs body save to save on cognitive load for Wardens and PCs. The stages of the infection (and the idea of each "success" making a future failure more likely) are still good in my book, though.
List looks long, so I want to clarify that the writing is really, really strong and I like this entry a lot! It more than makes up for any nitpicks. Some good fucking seafood here!!