Play book
Benevolentia Regulae's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Adherence to the Theme | #17 | 3.762 | 3.762 |
| Flow & Clarity | #25 | 3.238 | 3.238 |
| Overall | #27 | 3.381 | 3.381 |
| Concept & Originality | #34 | 3.143 | 3.143 |
Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
I really liked your much more down-to-earth take on the Battle Brothers here - and 'Averses the Younger' made me laugh out loud! Vyka especially had the potential to veer into being a caricature, but you kept him a good, believable character. ("Good" in the writing sense, let's be clear. I don't *like* him. He's a monster. But a well-written monster.)
The way the Brothers operate within the God-king's empire was textbook "legacy" but the very human way you depicted them kept it feeling original - well done there. The tone stayed nicely "grimly lighthearted" throughout, and the prose was snappy and engaging. Overall a very enjoyable piece.
I thought it was an overall good entry, a bit blunt for my personal taste but that's also kind of how the battle brothers are. I particularly liked how cogent points were made for both sides of the moral argument though, instead of setting up an obviously correct view.
I personally was a bit thrown off by the "Averses the Younger" joke (perhaps I just didn't get it), but as I read on I became invested.
As I wrote with the intent that Averses would have a limb replacement I thought I'd just come up with a cyborg arm, but couldn't think of a way to keep it fresh story wise so to speak. Then I remembered that the idea of clone soldiers was (once) a thing for the current filler Battle Brothers lore, and thought 'If they can just clone whole people with future tech, then surely they can clone replacement limbs... How would a badass warrior refer to it tongue in cheek with his peers? I guess he could refer to it in a roundabout fashion as being his younger brother, what with it being grown from his own cells...' and thus Averses the Younger was born.
really liked the character descriptions and “Averses the Younger” joke
Loved the details and "starship troopers" esque concept, but felt very put off by the language; just couldn't get myself to believe that these characters were people who did what they did and talked the way they did.
“Averses the Younger” hah! Nicely done, would be a great start to a campaign book.
You made me care about the battle brothers and their thoughts, that's no small feat. Really engaging writing going on here.
Their GW counterparts are a lot more interesting in the novels, in no small part owed to the fact that they have plot armour glossing over their potentially higher casualty rate on the tabletop (at least back in 5th and 6th edition and prior).
Quite frankly I find your take on the Brothers more interesting than any 40K material I've ever read.