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A jam submission

No BeautyView project page

A story about beasts, men, and the ugliness we can share.
Submitted by caledfwlchschime (@DoubleVViolin) — 1 day, 1 hour before the deadline

Play book

No Beauty's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Flow & Clarity#74.0874.087
Overall#93.9573.957
Concept & Originality#174.0434.043
Adherence to the Theme#183.7393.739

Ranked from 23 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+1)

An excellent piece that does a great job of viscerally following the band of hunters and then placing the reader right into the clash of battle.  The quip at the beginning does well to establish the character's view of what makes a sentient being worthwhile that she thwarts in order to aid her vengence.  The ending slams home the idea that her vengence and disregard for other humans in order to have it has made her as bad as the monsters she sought.

Submitted(+1)

I like what you did here - there's a lot to admire in the way you chose to pull off this intensely grim close-up on the horror of war.

I'm not sure what I'm going to cheekily refer to as the "musical interlude" was necessary. Frankly there was enough else going on to highlight the brutality and inhumanity of the soldiers and their commander that to me it was a little over the top - gilding the lily, as it were.

Especially considering how powerful the rest of the piece was, I personally found the ending a bit overly pat - again, unnecessarily heavy-handed alongside the rest of the piece. It's not that the ending wasn't poetically powerful, but that you didn't need it to make your point.

There is a lot I really liked about this piece. The descriptive language was powerful and the prose flowed along at just the right pace. I loved how you used animalistic language to describe the humans, and positioned them in the role of raiders and despoilers. To anyone who knows the "traditional" depictions of the Imperial and Beastmen factions, this is a brilliant inversion that gives the work a lot of power.

Submitted(+1)

Fun, grim fantasy. I think the theme traced closer to "war is hell" than "are we the bad guys" but I appreciate the less-blunt approach to it nonetheless. Among my favorites so far, could see myself reading a fantasy-style war novel along these lines.

Submitted(+1)

a beautifully grim fantasy tale 

Submitted(+1)

Making a very clear point without saying it outright, just beautiful

Submitted(+1)

Well done, straightforward approach to dark fantasy. Loved the character beats in the middle, felt like a great, subtle way to approach the theme before bringing the point home.