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A jam submission

The Igniting SparkView project page

A soldier, tasked with feeding a captive Saurian Technomancer, is drawn into a dangerous mind game.
Submitted by The angry potato — 18 hours, 54 minutes before the deadline
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The Igniting Spark's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to Theme#14.4294.429
Overall#34.0004.000
Concepts & Originality#74.0484.048
Flow & Clarity#203.5243.524

Ranked from 21 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Host

Congratulations on placing in the OPR Writing Jam #12!

To claim your prize email marketing@onepagerules.com with the subject "Writing Jam Winner."

Submitted

Excellent use of the theme, and great atmosphere building over such a short span. I liked everything about this. 

Submitted

Excellent use of the theme, and great atmosphere building over such a short span. I liked everything about this. 

Submitted

Enjoyable, good use of the theme and well-paced.

Submitted

I think it needed more time to build up the intrigue it could've had based on the concept, but I suppose that's the limitation of the writing jam. It very much feels like the prelude to a grander story.

Submitted

Very nicely crafted, and definitely nailed the theme! 

Submitted

This was great! Loved the concept and snapshot of the scene. Well written and enjoyable to follow!

Submitted

Interesting plot twist, but the narrative could be clearer, at the end specially.

Developer

Thanks for the feedback! Could you elaborate on what wasn’t clear enough?

Submitted

Sure. A minor one is I quite didn't get the relation between the gear of the prisoner and what it does at first. But the thing if find quite discordant is the capabilities to mobilize of the guard, according to perceived rank, and the called help itself (something from hdf lists, perhaps?).

Submitted

Nice with the reveal.

Submitted

One of the highlights of the jam so far - an imaginative premise that you executed well. Jonathan falling under the Saurian's sway as he powers up his implants was a great moment.

Submitted

The moment where the saurian explained his plan, was such a cool aha! moment.

Submitted

The story was interesting, but I am not exactly sure what happened at the end. I do dig the idea of the Saurian using his own starvation to initiate his salvation. Very cool turnabout.

Deleted 33 days ago
Developer

Thanks for your feedback, I have revised it to make it clearer.