itch.io

The atmosphere was really well done. The story felt tragic, even in a single page. Excellent consistent tone.

Interesting concept and characters. Had a cool gritty tone to it. It was little clunky in places, but you had that word limit to deal with. 

This was a neat concept. Difficult to fully flesh out in the span of a page, but you managed it. Just implying what happened at the end was a nice touch. 

Poor Squick! This was a good read and really made me empathize with the protagonist. The Borthers were a little one note, but you only had one page to work with, so playing into the archtype was probably your best move. Nicely done.

Well written, and got you invested in the protagonist quickly. It also made me curious about the bauble. Nice work. 

This was a good one. It built some more lore into the elves and you had a good sense of the characters very quickly. Well done. 

This one needed some editing passes. It was difficult to read. You have an interesting idea though. 

Im a sucker for goblin stories. The characterization was great. Poor NukNuk.

The characters were fun and interesting. I really enjoyed the read. Some interesting background stuff too, left me wating more. 

I wanted to read more. Thos story was too short. Which is on theme for Dwarfs, I suppose. You made the individula characters fun and the scene itself was neat and self contained. Well done.

A fun and funny story! Rare to capture humor well in such a short form and in a fantasy setting. You definitely need a couple more editing passes, that hurt the readability.  But it was still a fun read. 

I fell like this story just scratched the surface. It had an almost Star Wars feel to it, where the world building happens in the background. It still felt like it was missing some meat though, likely due to the length restriction. Great job. You created some characters to get invested in.

I fell like this story just scratched the surface. It had an almost Star Wars feel to it, where the world building happens in the background. It still felt like it was missing some meat though, likely due to the length restriction. Great job. You created some characters to get invested in.

Excellent characterization of the infected. And very well written. It took a minute to settle in, but you wrote a very good story. 

Thank you! I figure the Soul Snatcher Cults would be different for whichever setting they take root. In this case you had a corrupt and self centered totalitarian government that was desperate for anything to pull them back from the brink. That let the Matriarch fast track the take over.

In my head cannon, the Snatchers encouraged the unrest and alien raids to better ripen the fruit. 

If anyone from OPR is reading this... Dumpling miniature WHEN? 

This story has been a highlight so far. Great flow and feel. Fun while still feeling there were stakes. Solid all around. Well done. I would read more of this.

Barely made the squad and already bucking for a promotion. Good on you, Jack. I really enjoyed this. Had some John Carter vibes. Well done. 

Barely made the squad and already bucking for a promotion. Good on you, Jack. I really enjoyed this. Had some John Carter vibes. Well done. 

This is an interesting set piece. It could definitely use an editing pass. That hurt the read through. The perspective was creative. Solid character voice, too. You captured that well.

Thanks for giving it a read!

Thank you. I can see that it feels tacked on. In the original draft, the scientist was approached by a sketchy little traveling snake oil salesman, selling genetech that was "close enough" to the protectorate Prime Battle Brothers mods. And no one cared to look further into it becusse they were so desperate. I had to cut that whole character and angle for length. But that let me at least save the Matriarch reveal for the end. So over all I'm happy with it. 

In other words... close enough. 

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. Keep in mind the Snatchers arent necessarily fattening the world up for the aline hives in Grimdark Future. But they will definitely be running the show here as things go on. An entire world of Soul Snatcher cultists... should be something to see. It makes me want to plot a plucky resistance story now. :)

I definitely had that theme planned from the get go of the story. I just couldn't get the phrasing to work right. Originally the cultist was going to sell the enhancements to the planet touting their authenticity and pedigree. In the end, when things were revealed to be insidious, noting they were close enough. But upon writing the opening, the form and flow changed to be more of an internal political coup which made me have to rewrite the ending dialog. 

The characterization was very good. A variation on a classic scheme. Fun story!

The main character really came through clear in the story. Well done. The pacing suffered due to the combination of word count limit and your writing style, though. It feels like you would have a lot more fun with a long form story.

Thanks!

Thank you for reading. Im glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you for giving it a read. I snuck a few clues in there toward the end to lead up to it, but basically hit the twist out of nowhere. Glad you enjoyed it.

Thank you! I had to move some of the dialog descriptors around and delete others. Came in right at 998 words. I'll see about fine tuning that better next time. 

Thanks for reading! I did have probably another half page of character stuff in there but had to cut most everything for length. 

Completely understandable. It was a fun writing jam regardless! 

I chopped it and chopped it and chopped it again. In the end I was just happy it fit on one page. 

Solid characterization, some nice bits of wisdom in here, and the story itself rings true. Well written and on target. 

Solid characterization, some nice bits of wisdom in here, and the story itself rings true. Well written and on target. 

Very well done. Compelling is a great word for this. It doesn't hurt that I'm a big fan of the soul snatchers either. So I was rooting for the Apostle from the beginning. It's rare to read something that works this well in such a brief format. 

Definitely creative resources. And I liked the atmosphere. This would be a great Halloween story. There were some rough spots here, but overall, nice work!

You have the seeds of something really interesting here. I really like the concept. And it is an interesting take on the theme. It needs a good edit and some rewrites, but it was a fun read non the less!

This was an intriguing concept, almost a horror story by the vibes. I good job at making the faction seem alien. It could use a solid edit and there is something off about the formatting. But overall, well done. 

Interesting characters, a fun tale, and something different about this one that stood out. Well done. The story was warm and the characters memorable. I ship them.

This one was unusual. I wasn't sure about the second person writing, but the story itself was great and really won me over. You successfully created a little slice of OPR mythology.