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A jam submission

FerarumView game page

Chat with a cute schizo in an abandoned cafe.
Submitted by Jonotastic — 2 days, 23 hours before the deadline
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Comments

Developer(+3)

Hehe.

Submitted

Jumpscare at the *click* scared the shit out of me. For the "sit back and don't click" part it would be nice if you could pause/skip forward or something. I had to stop for external reasons and had to rewatch the whole thing again. Would be a nice qol improvement. The VA for that part works pretty well but the VA at the scene before that sounds really weird. Probably because the VA is a bit mono-tone so it works well for narration. Also all the small SFX are really nice and I really appreciate it, really makes it feel more immersive. 

Developer(+1)

Hahah thanks, I was hoping to catch someone out on that! As for the "sit back and watch" part; totally agree, it definitely needs a pause feature. This next build coming in a couple of hours will 100% have that (just a little "Pause" on the top left hand corner, nothing special but it works), thanks for the suggestion!

Submitted

cool little chat-game

I imagine she took a while to clamber up on to the seat and table in order to perform this pose. like two minutes of preparation just to deliver this line in a strange position lol

Developer

Hahah good point lol. Might need to make an intro-less playthrough where she just uncomfortably lumbers onto the chair in total silence, just the subtle grunts of her trying her best.

Submitted

I think you've got something here, nice ambience, when you write Jojo and Sven well you write them well.

But I think you just need to edit more. The poop/piss train conversation, it just wears out it's welcome and keeps going. I'd recommend approaching it like writing a novel, write a whole lot and then throw out a whole lot to only keep the cream of the crop.

A lot of the conversations feel just random like I'm peeking in on someone else's IM conversation. I think if it all felt like it was building to something I could stay more engaged.

Developer

Thanks for the advice brother. Always knew something wasn't quite right with the poop section so I'm glad you're pointing this out. I've updated the game to cut out some of that dialogue so hopefully it doesn't overstay its welcome (it's still there just a few lines shorter). Thanks again my man

Submitted

Well written dalogue, cute girl, and nice music. A VN doesn't really need anything else. Voice acting at the end doesn't sound very good though.

I like the replaying gimmick. Stuff like the crash and minor text change seems promising, and will be very interesting if you keep working it out further. I would be careful though that new players don't get the idea that it's just a very very very short game.
And maybe I'm missing extra content, but I assume it ends after Jojo crashes the game twice.

Developer

I really appreciate that brother! I'll work harder to make everything feel a little more "grounded" for next DD.
If we're talking about the "wanna sekuso" section, on that build she just crashes it twice then the counter resets.

Submitted

I never play VNs so I'm not even sure what to say heh. Music was nice! It ended pretty abruptly, I uh think? Returned to the main menu after the second girl finished talking. Didn't seem to crash for me.

Developer

Hey thanks man! For some background context I had to cut like 50% of Act 1 to meet the DD deadline. What's missing is a car ride after the cafe, Jojo's house and a scene right after the second girl. So sorry if everything ending abruptly was a bit disorientating.

Submitted

She forgot me after crashing my game 4 or 5 times :(

Developer

She crashes it once if you redo the choice 3 times and another if you're streaming. (I dunno how to spoiler tag, Zanzifart... forgive me)
so if it isn't triggering on either of those then something is very VERY wrong. Where was it happening for you?

Submitted(+1)

oh no, i mean i replayed the game 4 or 5 times, but yeah the game got crashed like 2 times i guess after the choice, (where it's supposed to i think) and then the game was back at the start when i restarted it, i thought i would get stuck in a loop eventually but the game just "restarted", i don't think that's a bug

Developer(+1)

Ah sweet as. In all honesty I was rushing a bit for Demo Day so really just tacked on a separate "scene" I had ready after the cafe skit (which itself is unfinished too lol).. So sorry if the game ending totally out of the blue is a bit jarring, 100% my fault.

Submitted

man i hated the purple cunt before she crashed the game on purpose

Developer

That's what you get for being fiendish haha