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A member registered Jan 06, 2017 · View creator page →

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While I'm quite tucked out on any serious additional development of this game, I MIGHT come back to it to make 3d model versions of all the monsters that were are a little more engaging. 

Honestly though it's really nice to see everyone loving the monster designs. Thank you for taking the time to check out my game!

I love the world building you did for this story.  I am really curious about the culture and events surrounding the main character. You have an enormous statue that occupies the city (what kind of God is that?), a religious war ravaging the region, all the way down to the treatment of demi-Gods as nothing more than war machines.

I do hope that Hercules and his family stay safe and are able to escape from the clutches of the Capital. Maybe even get some answers on what's really going on and why Hercules was accused of being a spy.

Keep up the good work!


Everything about this story was surreal and hilarious to me .The family hates Regular Girl for being an embarrassment...but also starves so she has to live off dumpster food in public. Her crime was not being born as a hairy person. A family of hairy people are rich and everyone respects them.  Having an extra body part on your body elevates you to superstar status.

I have so many questions about what is going on in this bizarre world, but that's what makes this so entertaining. Regular Girl is ostracized because shes'...regular. I love that so much. That's not even getting into the whole Wishing Demon plot, where the dude was just pulling her leg the whole time. I wonder if there was a way to save the necklace, because clearly the guy couldn't even ENFORCE his own deal. I technically got a free magic necklace that lets me have like...a neck mouth.

If possible I would try to deactivate the 'made with Inkle' link that shows up at the beginning of your twine. I accidentally clicked on it and got sent to Inkle's site and could not come back to your game without refreshing.

Wow, wow, wow! This is such a good story! The mix between Fungus and Twine, the audio cues, the animated words- all of that came together to make for an amazing reading experience. You took what what I assumed to be two different works and used that as a springboard to tell your own original story and it works so well. I was glued to my seat- I couldn't stop reading. I'm glad Izanagi and Izanami (I won't post spoilers here) worked everything out and destroyed a cursed artifact before it wreaked more havoc.

As an aside I kept thinking this would tie into Homestuck because of your cover image. I never read Homestuck, I only know of the trolls, but I felt like this was Homestuck inspired.

My only criticism for this piece would be to go back and do a final proofread check- I spotted some grammatical errors. Also I think when Izanami says "I", the highlighted words turn up black? Or a really dark font color, so it looks like a missing word space in the Fungus dialogue box.

Great work!


I really like how Karenina- heartbroken about his wife having an affair with Count Vronsky, was making the best choice for the both of them before by filing for a divorce before outside parties and institutions inserted themselves into the situation and asserted their authority. Stories about cheating are always filled with angst, but it gets more intense when you throw blatant Patriarchy in the mix. Karenina is now emboldened to 'take charge of the house.' and will seemingly do everything in his power to keep Anna in the relationship even if she is blatantly uninterested.

You have a good , slow pace going on and this story is on the right track.
Good luck on finishing your assignment!


I would be interested to see how this story turns out. History is always written by the victors and who knows what is the real story behind dethroned Emperor Liu Shan. Is the narrator really 'altering' the course of history by acting in Liu Shan's place? Or are they simply getting a first hand account of what truly occurred behind closed doors of the Wei capital?

One suggestion I would make is to spend a little bit more time describing how the narrator feels about suddenly being thrust into the body of a past historical figure. The speed at which they found out who and what they were was pretty fast and I assumed a drastic event like this would of taken a little bit more time to figure out.

I would also suggest taking a little bit of time to introduce new characters properly. I had to re-read a passage a couple of times because a character was suddenly relevant and I thought I missed something.

Keep up the good work! I look forward to seeing the finished twine.

Nothing really beats cosmic horror in a world where all of humanity has normalized the fact that at any given moment incomprehensible angelic beings of light will arrive on Earth and eradicate if you so much as ignite a single light at night.
I like how illustrate how...boring it is for the main cast to live in such a world. Instead of living in a constant state of fear and paranoia, humanity seems to have tragically adapted to brushing off their increasing list of global atrocities until even the knowledge of eldritch beings wanting to eradicate them is just another bit of white noise in the background.

The though, was icing on the cake. With the knowledge that this isn't the first time a corporation responsible for the protection of human-kind has- to put it bluntly- fucked up, it implies to the player that perhaps the real threat is among themselves.
Great job!


A strong opening with an immediate escalation to action that got me pretty excited. In this play through I'm glad I decided to follow the guards in secret. I'm assuming that this story will have quite a few branching narratives and story lines depending on what you choose. I hope you find the time to finish the story. I look forward to reading the completed game!


Your decision to represent a child's imagination and sense of wonder as The Little Prince was a great idea. Especially as the story progresses and they find that not only did they miss their six year meeting, but they cannot even remember any details about the Prince despite being an important aspect of their life. A good analogy for how many people upon reaching adulthood find themselves unable to dedicate time to themselves and lose their sense of wonder.

Here are a couple of suggestions going forward when completing this project:

- The list of words asking questions about The Little Prince pop on and off extremely fast. I thought it was a glitch.
-The animated calendars felt out of place to me. It was jarring reading the story from the point of view of the author, only to suddenly be in conversation with an inanimate objects that has the ability to speak.
- Make sure to test the timing on how long it takes for underlined words to appear. I almost restarted the game twice because I found myself in a narrative loop and didn't see any new options pop up even after waiting for a few seconds.

I enjoyed how in this story the portrait both to antagonizes Dorian by displaying to him an idealized version of himself that he can never live up to, and that he can never live up,  while also encouraging him to pursue his true desires in life. You also did a good job showing just how much Dorian was starting to crumble under of the expectations demanded of him while he struggles to find any sort of joy from his mundane routines.

The only feedback I have is that Sir Henry's foreboding that Dorian's actions will eventually have consequences only sort-of applies here. In this version of Dorian Gray, the painting seems to have a mind of it's own and is an extension of Basil's own desire to mold Dorian into a man he wants. In this case, how much autonomy does Dorian really have? Especially if restraint from acting on his worse impulses could lead to punishment?

Keep up the good work!
My final parting words is to change the keysmash text to 'You have been diagnosed with Gay'.


The writing for this game is simply phenomenal. Especially in the beginning- if I hadn't known that this was an adaptation of 'The Great Gatsby' I would of assumed I was experiencing the real thing. I especially loved how the highlighted words revealed the main characters inner monologue. A clever way to emphasize his thoughts at any given situation.
The college setting is extremely fitting for a story such as 'The Great Gatsby'. If there was ever an appropriate setting in modern times for a mysterious rich man to throw block busting parties while remaining unseen then it would be this.

The only criticisms I have for this game is this:
-If possible, try to differentiate the outlined words so the player knows which one contains inner monologue or takes you to the next page.

- While establishing the story taking place near college grounds was seamless, however the time period is abrupt. I initially thought the story took place around the 1960's  because Gatsby owning the 'Lord of The Rings' trilogy stood out to the main character in that massive library. Around that time I assume this is when the series was at it's peak 'must have' prestige. So to have that followed up with Game of Thrones- a series that began in the 1990's, I had to pause just a bit to realize how modern day this version of Gatsby is.
One way to solve this could be to make more passive references to dated tech near the beginning. For example- instead of the main character falling waking from his nap to find a letter on his person- instead he see's a QR code, or a print out of a Google Map with location, etc. to indicate that he's been invited to the party.

Good luck on the rest of your project!

Wow. Just wow. This game is exactly up my ally. I'm so glad to see it in it's final form from Game Studio 2. You guys did an amazing job. The sound design, art direction, story beats, ending...this is so damn good guys. I almost cried at the end ;_;

I want to try my hand at a small little game where you are a male/female succubi that wants to seduce as many people as possible. You choose your targets and you try to get to know what makes them tick by looking around their room for clues and figuring out what their kinks are to maximize success.

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Hello everyone! My name is MagicDoogies! I'm a 2D character artist and Illustrator that has a focus on game development as a career.
While this isn't exactly my first time participating in a Game Jam- it will be my first time participating in this one.

My favorite franchise of all time is Pokemon. No questions asked. However when I'm not playing that game I tend to really enjoy platformers, RPG's and JRPG's.
Games that currently hold the most inspiration for me would have to be Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. The atmosphere, soundtrack, design, atmosphere, and tone hit all the right notes for me.
I don't have any experience in game development when it comes to coding, programming or using game engines. But I do have some experience in creating character sheets and guides that will help inform 3D modelers and animators down the pipeline.

One thing that always fire me up though is being able to create all sorts of monsters and creatures. I loved doing that even in my early childhood. So anything that allows me to go wild with that is a + in my book.