itch.io

Not much to comment that hasn’t already been said, but I really liked this! The writing is a good mix between bittersweet nostalgia and optimism for the future.

The endings themselves also really resonated with me (the elementary school one in particular). The writing is both fairly general but also very specific at points. I don’t quite know how to describe it, but it works very well! Nice job! :)

Thank you so much! :)

I’m glad that the tense tone came across the way I wanted it to.

Thank you so much for the nice comment!! :D

(And that’s a great idea of having static play in the background! I guess it’s time for me to finally learn how audio works in Twine lol)

We all find out that we're hippos eventually, I hope it wasn't too much of a shock!

(Thanks for playing!)

I'd definitely recommend giving Twine a try if you're interested! 

I think it's very beginner friendly if you want to make something simple, but if you have some coding knowledge you can also do some really crazy stuff in it! (That last part is based on Twine games I've played, not on anything I've actually made lol)

Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

That's all I could ever hope for :)

May you always have a fun fact day, as long as you always look for fun... facts.

(Thank you for the nice comment!)

Thank you!! :)

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it! :)

Amazing! Every track is so good (and educational!)

I would rate this five stars again for the new tracks, but I can't so I'll leave them here:

★★★★★

Managed to get 56 Johns, but the last few are out of my grasp. Alas, I'm not John enough to find them.

(Fun game!)

This was a really fun read! I was a bit confused when Karl saw the metal and glass carriage, and it was a good sort of twist once I realized he was talking about a car.

Seeing a multiverse-ish travel story from the perspective of someone from the medieval times is really interesting! I had fun seeing Karl be amazed by all the futuristic things. It was especially fun seeing how enthusiastic the General is about learning about Karl's world. Having that part of history forgotten in General and Mack's world was a neat piece of world building, and it makes me glad that their job seems to let them potentially explore even more past ages!

Great story!

I really liked this story! It has a lot of heart and humor (a great example of both in my opinion is Sally playing with sock puppets to keep herself sane while she's sailing alone). Giving the rock creatures personalities was also quite charming.

Even though the story is relatively short and simple, it still managed to surprise me a few times. When the Purple Crane is revealed  to almost like, take control of, anyone who has it, and also learning about Sally's true motivations. These made for good reveals that I think really elevated the plot.

Good characters, good plot, good book!

I really like how quickly we're just thrown into the story. Everything about the setting, the characters, and the situation are explained very naturally and efficiently through the first conversation.

Nipparad and Waylorn are fun characters, and I think their dynamic works really well! I also think that you did a great job at giving every character a distinct voice.

Overall this is a very exciting and intriguing peak into this world. Great book!

"Sure semi-sentient cacti exist. I just don't ship him with my self-insert anymore since they have two different career paths." Quite possibly the greatest sentence I've ever read.

This was a great short story! The characters were all really endearing, and I'm impressed with how quickly you managed to make me feel for them. Jameah in particular I think was a great main character. Everyone was just very lovable, and I was really rooting for them.

I was feeling so tense throughout my whole time reading, and was scared that something was going to go wrong. But when it's revealed the travel was a success, I felt like I was right there with the characters celebrating. Great book!

I really liked this! The characters feel distinctive, and their banter is very fun. The themes of being unsure about what you want to do in the future, and feeling like it's "too late",  are also very relatable, and I liked how it's discussed here. 

The world building is also very interesting, where even if I didn't quite understand all of it, it gave the story a really unique feel than if it had just been a regular road trip in our world.

All in all, despite this being a very brief glimpse into a different world (™), there's a lot packed in here and I really enjoyed it! Great book!

There's a lot of cool imagery in this book! I like how the fantastical things that happen aren't outright horror at first: The animals, the trampolines, the swamp. It eases us into the dreaminess of it all before the nightmares begin.

Even with the body horror warning, I was not prepared for the conductor's transformation. Very creepy. Also the climax in the ocean, racing towards the building as the clock was chiming was very tense!

Finally, the ending of Cassie running into Josie in the real world was a nice way to wrap things up. Great story! (and I'm looking forward to the new version whenever that comes out!)

This was a really fun read! I think that Syrol is an interesting main character. Where at first I really just felt bad for her for being constantly thrown, dragged, and knocked out (it's been a really rough few days for her...), she really grew on me as the story went on. I think it was mainly through seeing her take initiative like hiding the second Garba, or crawling into the battlefield to find Jorjun. I gotta respect her determination o7

I think the POV switches near the end really helped to keep the momentum of the story going, and also did a lot to flesh out Jorjun (who I didn't have the greatest first impression of, but like Syrol he grew on me).

The world building is is also very cool, and I'd be interested to see more of this world and these characters! Great story!

I see, that makes sense (especially with the AI talking about John was "never supposed to win"). Thank you for the clarification!

A neat story filled with plenty of violence and disturbing visuals (in particular, building a bear trap from the spine and ribs of your beheaded corpse... yikes). It's also a cool little twist that the crash actually caused, not the cloning machine, but the AI to malfunction. And finally, an interesting cliffhanger ending where John is accidentally revived and vows to take his revenge (it'll be cool to see if this is continued, but I think it also works as an open ending).

One thing I am a little confused about is the "defective clone". I could have just missed it, but is it every actually explained what it was, or why the AI needed John to kill it? Was it just like, an invading alien or something? Aside from this minor confusion, I still enjoyed the story a lot! Great book!

I think you did a great job of building up the tension throughout! I was constantly on edge, worrying about something going wrong (and by the end it seems that something did in fact go wrong, albeit subtly). It's a short but sweet book packed with just the right amount of world building, suspense, and existential terror. Great story!

I really like the fantastical dream-like feel of this whole story! From the increasingly surreal imagery, to the ending where it's questionable whether it really was all a dream. The wanderer's troubles are really relatable, and I'm happy that it seems that by the end they're feeling a bit better about life! (or at the very least well-rested) Finally, I just wanted to say how much I adore that the wanderer's book is filed under their preferred name. On the surface they may seem like such a small detail, but I feel like it really does add so much to their character and this story. Great book!

A really sweet and cute interlude from an implied action-filled quest! And even though we never get to see the group actually traveling, I feel that I still got plenty of background and context. Faelyn and Kaelron are great characters, and their dynamic is really engaging! The mix of tension and care really adds depth to how they feel about each other. Great job!

(Also, unrelated to the writing, but I love the cover art!)

Hi! Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback!

I get what you mean about Kit's character. I was trying to make whatever was troubling them sort of ambiguous so maybe the reader could sort of fill in the blanks themself, but it does just kind of ends up feeling empty and not thought out. I also agree with you that the lack of descriptions of the hunters is a bit of a detriment to trying to imagine the scene (I'll admit, part of the reason I had them described by their footwear was so I could get out of describing their physical appearance, as I suck at descriptions lol).

Thanks again for your feedback! :)

Thank you so much for reading!! Your praise is really encouraging, and it's also great to get critique on what parts didn't work as well.

I definitely agree with you that there's a lack of world building and character interaction (and in retrospect your expectation of Kit, Pseu, and the hunters all having a more ideological confrontation after the fight really did seem like the next logical step in the plot. I'm really disappointed in myself that I didn't do that lol). Writing environmental descriptions is also one of my weaknesses, so I'll have to practice that more. I'll be sure to keep all of this in mind in any future writing I do! 

Once again, thank you so much for your feedback! :)

Thanks for the interest, but this is probably just going to be a one-off game. Maybe some day in the future I'll make one, but I've chosen to focus on other projects for now.

(Thanks for playing though!)

Wow! It's kind of surreal seeing a game I made being played on Youtube lol

Thank you for playing and for your kind words! :)

Thank you!

(And just to be clear, I wasn't offended or anything by your first comment! I know that sometimes tone is hard to read across text)

I mean, hey, I'll take it! :D

(Thanks for playing!)

Thanks for the comment! 

I'll be honest I was worried that the comedy wouldn't really land, so I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed it!

Thank you!

I'm glad to see a fellow appreciator of pirate ship wheels lol